Author: Freelancer Starbuck
Website: www.geocities.com/freelancer_starbuck
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Feedback: YEAH BABY!
Archiving: CD has permission, everyone please ask me first.
Rating: PG-13 for mature themes
Summary: Sydney's depressed... again. *Character death*
The ocean is so tumultuous on these stormy days, and as I sit here, high above the churning waters on the pier at 3 am, I chuckle humorlessly at the irony. Turbulent as the ocean, he once told me. So long ago... six hours, six days, six months, hell, even six years, I have no idea how long it was that I saw him last. All I know is that it feels like an eternity. An eternity of espionage, of lies, of secrets, of hate and love all rolled into one.
Thunder cracks the air. I don't budge. I can't.
It would be so easy to just haul myself over the edge into the, no doubt, freezing December waters below, but some how I can't make myself do it. Coward. That's all I am. I'm afraid. I was afraid to tell him how I felt, I was afraid to save him from the water... the water that rolls in a continuous boil. It parallels the rushing water from that day. I could see his face as the water plowed into him, scared of the unknown but strangely at peace with the world. I wish that, at some point in my life, I had been able to feel that. Maybe it was my imagination playing tricks on me as he mouthed the words to me.
My beeper vibrates, and I pull it off roughly, tossing it into the waters. Maybe he'll catch it if he's really waiting for me there. Maybe not. I know I should probably leave, go to the warehouse and meet whoever is waiting for me. Go risk my life for something I'm not sure I really believe in anymore. Righteous Sydney Bristow, out to save the world from unknown evils.
This is it. This is my world, and it's still spinning out of control. For the first time, I'm scared. I'll never get to hold that beautiful baby girl in my arms while her daddy kisses her forehead and looks into her deep green eyes. Just like his. For the first time, I can't see that wonderful future. It's because he left me. It's his fault.
I lift a leg, fully intent on ending this world. Maybe he will be waiting for me when I die. Maybe this is the only way to find out. I'm standing on the rickety wooden ledge, and I close my eyes and draw in a breath of sweet salty air. Then I jump, slicing through the air as the roar of the waves draws closer.
I don't really feel the chill of the water as I plunge down, the murky depths somehow feeling comforting. Maybe it's because I know the pain will be over soon. Pitch-blackness slowly seeps into my peripheral vision, but in the light that seeps through the surface of the water from the moon above, I see a hand, then an arm. It grabs at my own, pulling me further from the surface. The only things I can see of the rest of it are glowing flecks of green and gold and a smile.