Apparently, I am not funny

It’s not that I didn’t know this in the first place, it’s that I have a sense of humor that’s really only funny to me and my friends at Mensa . So when I’m telling you a story or a joke, you really have to put it into context. And that context is this: I think it’s hilarious. You may not.

I learned this the other night, when some people discussed what they felt after reading my last posting on this website, where I called on a global scale for women to unite and make out with me. I also referred to myself as a “superior wangsman,” and a wingman for a fictional friend named Frank, who just happens to have a hairy ass.

Now, there are supposedly about a half-dozen people who are ready to offer to pay for mental health services on my behalf. Because here is some sort of line:

What I didn’t say in that posting is that I like women’s underwear. Specifically, I like to wear women’s underwear. Also, it wasn’t David Allen Coe that taught Charles Manson to play the guitar, it was me. Have any dead animals that showed up on the road lately? I did that.

Here’s more fuel for your fire: I like to dress up like a pirate and throw rotten cabbage at passing cars. Why? Because I can. Plus, some people find it strange when a person has a third nipple. Well, imagine what must run through their heads when I tell them that I have twelve. And they’re not all on my chest either.

I hope you found that strange, because I’m going to jump back across the line:

And tell you a little story. Actually, it’s going to take a while, because sometimes people tell me that I get off on a tangent, you know, like I’m just fleshing things out a little more to make them interesting, because, it’s not so much the story that’s funny, it’s the characters where the comedy is really mined from, because it doesn’t matter what the plot is if you don’t find the players in the story believable, and that's what this is really all about, because quite honestly this story is very much one that I found funny when I first heard it, and I think the first time I heard it was about three weeks ago, or, no, maybe it was two, and, wait, what was I talking about again?

Ok, I was poking a little fun at myself. If you didn’t get it, let me spell it out, in its own paragraph, by itself, so you can understand it:

Here’s the thing: I don’t take myself too seriously, whereas other people do. I’m very committed to my career and my friends, but really, what is life if you’re not having fun? Sometimes having fun involves seeing what kind of reactions I can get out of people.

Apparently, having fun at your own expense sometimes borders on the appalling to others. But at least this is true: In a world where your background and your job title determine just how far down their noses that people look at you, it’s refreshing to know that creativity and a taste for the unusual, along with being unique and your own person, count for something. And if that doesn’t work, you'll always be there, so others can have someone to make fun of.