Bloody But Unbowed

June 6th, 2001:

A Brave Soldier Prepares To Die


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Everyone remembers the day of Timothy McVeigh's execution as either a time for giddy elation and celebration, or, like myself and other supporters, a dark, forboding and bone-numbing dsay that will live in infamy, are seeing only part of the picture. On June 6th, at 1 PM on CNN, searing letters splashed onto everyone's television sets that, "Judge Matsch Denies Another Stay Of Execution For Timothy McVeigh." I had just turned the station on and when I read those terrible words, I broke down and cried for the next few days. Everyone had just assumed that McVeigh would get a second stay. After all, the FBI had seriously screwed up by neglecting to show pages and pages of information regarding the bombing and until the matter was settled, McVeigh should not die at that time. I know that I was confident, otherwise I would not have tuned in. Fully expecting a further delay and hoping against hope that perhaps, this man would avoid execution altogether. It's amazing how powerful the mind can be.

So Timothy McVeigh was scheduled to die the following Monday morning, June 11th, 2001. It looked hopeless and it was. I suppose what angered me the most about this situation is that, from June 6th onward, people were crawling out of the woodwork to comment upon McVeigh's last days on earth. That ever-annoying television journalist and one quarter of that irritating and pointless show called "The View", Joy Behar insisted that Tim "begged and begged" them to spare his life. I e-mailed her and informed her that Tim never begged for anything in his life and he would certainly not drop his stoic demeanor to anyone. His lawyer, Robert Nigh, tried to get his client to go to the Supreme court to ask for another stay, but Tim refused. I had also heard journalists insisting that McVeigh just "gave up" and stopped fighting the inevitable. That when he saw the futility of asking for more time, he resigned himself to dying. I happen to believe this myself, as fellow death row inmate David Paul Hammer wrote in his online journal that Tim had even bought a new fan, as he'd given everything away when his execution date quickly approached. I am fully aware that the majority depised McVeigh and were literally salivating as the day of his death drew closer. But, above all, Tim was a soldier through and through. A good soldier never surrenders to fear. Tim had gone to war for his country and knew that it was quite possible that he would die over there in the desert. Death was no stranger to this man. And now that he would be put to death by lethal injection, he prepared himself right down to the last detail.

I have been crying a lot lately. Anniversaries are extremely difficult and today, exactly two years ago, I find it difficult to get through the day in one piece. McVeigh should never have been executed. Nobody deserved the death penalty. I am laying low between now and June 11th. I am working on a link, to be completed by that early mornng, not to rememeber Tim Mcveigh in death, but to remember him as he was when he walked this earth. My heart aches for his family. They will never have another moment's peace--they will never be able to crawl out from under the emotional rubble that remains after a carnage has been committed. Tim's family are in my heart and my prayers. If i weep for anyone, I weep for them. Please remember them in your prayers, even if you despise their son and brother. It's time to heal. But I do not see that happening anytime soon.

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