-wiggy kelly: i do not get myself into shit. my mother produces shit. grace, me and a few others... : we're proud members of the itty bitty titty committee tom: i enjoyed travelling on the commuter bus! kelly: its not my fault i have dripage. me: well at least dont drip on my head. viv: apparently im "a scary wee giggly chinese girl who is crap at threatening and knows fuck all about dog nutrition" cuz i didnt know what bonio was. jilly: you have a hole! that all you think about jibs? sabs: whats that band you listen to? no effects. nofx... wouldnt catch you saying that now would we sabrina, heh heh sputnik: fear factory are great and kick weezers ass! ...deprived child jilly: hey, we cant like, call sputnik sputnik anymore cuz its a russian space station. and its pronounced 'spoot-nik'. mike: help some girl just asked me for cyber, and i dont know what it is! is she going to download a virus onto my computer?!?! what do i do? me: what have you said to her? mike: i blocked her... i panicked... so uh, whats a cyber? me: cybersex. mike: ah. how do you do that then? do you need to download a program? a random guy: gimme your wallet! me: i dont have a wallet. random guy: uh... oh... okay. well... suck my dick! kelly: shes got braces, she'll make mincemeat of your penis. random guy: oh... YOU suck my dick then! kelly: if you pay me. random guy: how much? kelly: twenty bucks. random guy: done. kelly: im cold, you have to wait for me to warm up. random guy: um. okay. (he waits) another random guy: gimme your wallet. (we run off) hannah: you brought your washbag to the party?! sputnik: yeah... hannah: you freak! (to me) lets pour vodka in his sponge... will: ban all 14 year old idiot girls. loser: how bout u fuck off will, i bet ur just a retarted guy sittin at home jackin off to pics of josh and thinkin that ur in the band cuz u've talked to josh. well whoopty doo! how bout u leave ur dumbass comments to ur self unless they have some sort of relevance to sme. i was just tryin to help a kid with something i heard that i thought might be true, besides its more than u would do u arrogant prick! nick: im on losers side. will: Whoo hoo! Let's give a hand to Sarah for being officially being better than everyone else and having the authority to correct everyone- even if it's COMPLETELY NOT NECCESSARY! For some reason, she is VERY eager to belittle everyone, thus making herself look GOOD. I hope everyone starts to notice how much better she is very soon, Because I'm sure she wants it to be called to attention! josh: i think will fancies sarah. kelly: i wouldnt turn gay for gwen stefani. id turn gay for britney. me: i cant remember half the things i said but people keep telling me i was talking crap. and i was like... oh. thanks. sabs: im not suprised. even though you talk crap when you arent drunk. hazel: parents only want good GCSE results so they have something to boast about at charity dinners. me: i want to touch it but my mum wont let me everyone: GET UP JOHNNY, YOUR CROTCH IS ON FIRE!!! my bro: oh yeh, my mate said sorry for asking you to suck his dick. me: WTF?!?!? ben: luccers, luccers, look at my scorch marks! i got them here... and here.... and here..... kelly: ive got more cunning than you have in your little finger. grace: .....what?! youre so dense! kelly: im so cunning grace: why are you cumming? dr chackraborti... cha... chua... science teacher: (with an accent) so the steriods travel through space at.. class: ...you mean asteriods? teacher: yes. thats what i said. steriods. anna: hold still... youve got a free radical in your hair... jilly: jaynes away, shes sick, bunny mr harris: (stops and stares) ...did you just called me bunny? guy at camden station: its so cold my cock has gone solid. i think the piss inside it has frozen. delphine: id like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those really high notes i bet you can really see it in those genitals sarah: seth green is like marmite. you either love him or you hate him. hazel: im sure even angels feel a little grass helps 'em fly from time to time. kelly: i was not blessed with a large penis mim: ...yeah but the guy whos doing you should be on a step ladder mim: yeah men cant have multiple orgasms can they? hazel: (in her english essay- a day in the life of michael jackson) today, i had a slice of flesh removed from my left buttock and implanted on my forehead. tom (not bondage tom... the other...): fuckme phone kelly: there was this man, right, and he was dorking his wog... er. wait. gemma: if flies could pig! guy from reading: when i shout, my balls hurt. jeff: this is my friend. his name is ratboy. kelly: this is wiggy. she is my penis, cuz she spends most of her time between my legs me: BA-BOOM! TSSSH!! jeff: what goes 'ooo, ooo'? a cow with no lips! everyone else: ...that is so bad. NihilisticFerret: yo Geko3333: it's so disturbing to get a message from a nihilistic ferret saying yo me and kelly: like, like, DUDE! like, dude that is like... dude! jack: im not gay! ...or welsh! ...and i dont shag sheep! kelly: ducked up visions in my head im a ducked up kid this is what they said! hazel: (sniffs at vodka and coke) this smells of carrot kelly: youre thick, your head is as hollow as a rock. 'oi': yeah i smoke. peer pressure is such a bitch! girl in tent next to ours at reading...: argh! uhhh...... who likes animals? anyone? help? theres a frog on my sleeping bag... some weird guy: hello. can you show me your boobs please? me and several other people: mastrication is cool!!! me ( to lucy) : look! that bins called lucy! lucy: i know... its a brand... there are buckets called lucy too. me: theres a hole in my lucy... kelly: so fix it dear wiggy, dear wiggy... with what? me: i dunno. a cork? me again on msn (lucy thought this was highly amusing sooo...): failure by design says: its either me or him thats stupid. failure by design says: ive deicded its him ronnie (old man who sells magazines)(to kelly): the other day after you left, my friend said that you were the most beautiful girl he's ever seen! (to me) i prefer chinese girls....... Fer-eeky! miriam: my mum heard me and ben in my room... she said 'well at least you sounded like you were enjoying yourselves.' miriams mother: yes you do have nice underwear, dont you? i am disturbed. kelly: she called me a lesbian! how rude. me: why did she do that? kelly: i pinched her arse. me: was it a quick squeeze or an 'under and up'? anton: im ambidextrous. i wank with both hands. me: these chips are like rectangular rubber bags filled with pus. grace: oh, better than last years then? me: well... theyre not fluorscent anymore. new girl: (looks horrified) me: (enters form room twitching) grace: (to new girl) dont worry, shes usually like this. im now making it my mission to freak out as many new girls as i possibly can =) kelly: darn, my flan is poiled. leanne: oh my god! i kissed mims arse! memories of the drunken night before... kelly: kenfucky tried chicken? kelly again: i'm so fucked. its wiggys fault. wiggy fucked me. andrew: did you ever notice the word therapist is made up of the and rapist? my brother: can you get pregnant if your standing up while having sex? me: yeh you still can my bro: oh yeh, sperm can fly cant they my brother again: (comes bounding down the stairs narrowly missing me, leaps off of the fifth step up with his arms above his head holding a plastic bag like a parachute) (crashes to the ground) (gets up and starts walking off) ...damn, didn't work... my doctor: (on an ultrascan thingy of my heart) now this is the area which is concerning me... why are you smiling? me: my heart is cute. i want to call it cyril. doc: ....nurse! anon (has asked to remain) : if hes that repulsive and troll like i cant understand how she could physically do it without being sick or something... kelly: how come you always insult my boyfriends? lanky;bollock-clamps;troollllllll........ me: if iwanted to draw naked people i could just take all my clothes off and sit infront of a mirror i dont want to pay to see a fat old woman with rolls of flesh alex: '...rankymanky...' ms gwinnell: why is ???? not here? sophie: erm... shes sick i think. either that or jewish. ms gwinnell: a monster is for life not just for christmas kelly: ...if they come from behind, then i'm screwed on karate- what was funny is she didn't realise what she said... ms gwinnell: i don't want to piss on their parade. ...wait. i got my metaphors mixed up didn't i? kelly: stop waving your salami at me annanana: all men are stupid. they may be nice... but theyre still stupid. my bro: i dont know if im getting presents from my friends. maybe a close friend, like ???? my other brother: hes not your close friend, he calls you charlie kelly: i got home, right, and i was banging... stop interrupting! anyway... i was banging... shani(?): she wrote a poem about how she had sex with an irish pebble me: if you look at the title 'the fiddler on the roof' in a different way... mim: ...but igive exceedingly good blowjobs luccers: (to the 'guys are stupid' point) yes they are. its not fair. why cant they be like girls but... guys.... tom: joussywawa uhh. i dont know what he's on about either. luccers copied and pasted this to me on msn and i proceeded to get very confused. its kinda funny though.. Mr.Hat says: I had a cocktail stick under the cover too Mr.Hat says: But that stopped working, so I took it out He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart reversing. says: why a cocktail stick? Mr.Hat says: It was the right thickness kelly: i want a moped! i want a pink moped so i can ride to the bus stop wiggy says: lol and dont insult my friends tom says: it wasn't me wiggy says: no it was your alter ego? tom says: my evil twin tom says: uh. Tam me: thats 'god' to you shanti: Oh yes...you can call me Mrs.Shanti then shanti: mr... MR tom says: wide tom says: hurt tom says: well at least im never gonna get bummed when im conscious tom says: over my dead body tom says: literally tom says: hahahahaha ...more fun than chewing razor blades says: um. eww. shanti: Angry shanti would come out and he would bring evil things like corporal punishment and dogs and stuff luccers: so finally all you S&M gear will get some use. tom: humourless blob. tom again (cuz it made me laugh): imagine walking around, with a mouse up your fanny luke: going off at a tangent is like me talking about 'tangents' then suddenly saying something about bananas kelly: oh... but i like bananas luke: you're a nobjockey kelly: i dont get it... shanti: *you're cold*?! i just sandwiched my dick inbetween two iceboxes!! kelly: hi, i'm kelly. ms jenkins: thats ok. wierd pizza guy at camden: (to gemma, pointing at anna) is that your girlfriend? gemma: ...yes pizza guy: (pointing at me) is *that* your girlfriend? gemma: ...no. pizza guy: you know... you are very lucky. she is like a horse... you know... good to ride. pizza guy again: how old are you? me: ummm. guess. pizza guy: ummm. 13? 14? me: (growls) (grace) yo, wiggles i just introduced a friend to your site and i have to share the response to Shanti's antics: Grace: Ur the one with the dick, why would u sandwich it between blocks of ice? Random guy: ....certainly not to make me more fertile or to boast about my size aftaward!!!!! miriam: i have verbal diahorrea anon: oh no, you're going to send horny ~insert name here~ home and i'm not going to be able to concentrate on my homework! seb: my bottom is being violated! seb again: even i can't pee that quickly and i have willy and everything guy on tube: i fink wot someone's done is they've shitted in the carriage... ergh shanti: (moped goes past) damn, they're always two seconds ahead of us! shanti: i had this watermelon right, only like, as a pet... kelly: i wonder if different people taste different. like indians would taste spicy. Whats pink, stiff, and makes women scream in the middle of the night? says: what did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? she choked [Shani] Ford, you're turning into a penguin! stop it! || Someone teach me php? says: :eyebrow: [Shani] Ford, you're turning into a penguin! stop it! || Someone teach me php? says: I feel I'm missing something here which I would rather not- oh *no* [Shani] Ford, you're turning into a penguin! stop it! || Someone teach me php? says: stop, wiggy joel: oi matey! you didn't see anyone come into our camp and take a fucking huge slash accross our fire did you? aww you couldnt have missed it, theyre were probably like errrrrrrrrrrgggggaaaaaaahhhhhhh! small print � 2002 wiggy - all rights reserved send abuse | explorer users: bookmark me =) |