thirty things to before you're... uh.. thirty. i stole most of these off a newspaper
1. move out obvious really. if you havent done this by the time you're thirty you're a bit sad.
2. dye your hair/have an unwise haircut/shave on your head often as part of an unwise identification with a particular style of music, eg. punk, nu-metal or have a logo or word shaved into the side of your head, eg. nike
3. have sex enough said.
4. lose a fight after thirty you should be able to settle thins amicably
5. attend a wedding/funeral of a contemporary both important reminders of the fleeting nature of time
6. start writing a novel/film script/slim volume of deeply embarrassing oetry ...that will haunt you from the bottom drawer
7. spend a night sleeping outside whether its on a greek beach, or a london doorway after a particularly damaging night out (or a skip heh heh heh)
8. stay up for 48 hours you'll probably never be able to do this after you've turned thirty.
9. have your heart broken if this hasnt happened by the time youve hit thirty, you're clearly emotionally subnormal
10. kill an animal (accidently) a bird, fish, terminally ill family pet...
11. drive a sports car extremely fast while wearing sunglasses get it out of your system before the grey hairs appear
12. lose a weeks wages in a casino see above
13. make your first million ok wishful thinking perhaps, but if you plan to be seriously rich its best to start early
14. have a pregnancy scare an important part of the emotional maturing process
15. have a one night stand see above
16. have an office romance see above
17. have sex somewhere peculiar plane loos, boss's desk, pod on the london eye, central hall of the tate modern...
18. get naked in public streaking, skinny dipping or just simple forgetfulness
19. have, at the very least, a flirtation with a minor celebrity it is important to point at the screen and say : ive pulled him/her! nb. this does not apply to blue peter pets
20. take a 'work break' to find yourself ...before succumbing to a life of soul-eroding wage slavery
21. have a quarter life crisis probably as a result of the above
22. do a mcJob something deeply menial but soul-improving
23. be so short of cash you have to sell something record collection, family heirloom, kidney, sexual favours...
24. recreate the scene in the titanic in which they stand at the front of the ship its important to have a cheesy but romanic moment in your life before thirty.
25. grow out of cannabis youthful experimentation is all very well but a fuddled thirtysomething with a passion for pink floyd and munchies is just embarrassing
26. get arrested for something minor. soemthing like disturbing the peace which suggests youre not a terminal conformist. at the very least you should have been breathalysed. or at the most hacking into the pentagon site.
27. get a tattoo absurd if you're over thirty
28. start your own dotcom and watch it fail. you'll have a chance to bounce back into a proper job.
29. drink yourself unconcious and wake up with only the shabbiest, haziest memories of the night before (vaguely remembering cocktail sticks, frankfurters, the karma sultra, a leather glove and a video camera).
30. have embarrassing photos of you posted on the internet by friends probably as a result of the above...
back, back i say!
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