Beerwolves

SCHEDULE

Since I receive about 20 phone calls every Monday in the summer asking if their is a Beerwolves game that night, I decided to construct a centralized location for information on everyone's favorite drunken sports team.

April 9th :: 6:35 pm

April 23rd :: 6:35 pm

June 25th :: 7:05 pm

July 2nd :: 7:05 pm

July 16th :: 7:05 pm

August 20th :: 7:05 pm

September 3rd :: 1:05pm

The 2007 Erie Beerwolves are gooned up and ready to make another inebriated stumble at the booze pennant. This years squad looks really thirsty as tickets prices are still $3 a game, but the beer & hot dogs remain a buck.

2006 lineup
�The Franchise� Jason Linsted: the tray of Labatts, the hot pretzel with no salt,
the bag of peanuts, the Beerwolves were built around this seasoned sportster.

�Hot Dog� Dave Turko: this tenderfooted Ukranian has an appetite for all things weiner. He is known for drinking 2 beers and falling over. He may need a ride home after the game.

�Mr. Monday Night� Brian Smith: Having not missed a Beerwolf game in over 4 years, Smith is the ironman of the squad. This venomous veteran is known for hitting on chicks while inebriated.

Shawn �Swing Deez Deez� Strickland: need to know who painted the outfield sign? Would you like to be misinformed about why they spray water on the field before the games? Talk to this fountain of misinformation. He�ll be in the smoking section... probably smoking.

Sean "You're Out" Ackerman: will let you know if you're in or out...man!

Tom �Shortstop� Tredway: Returning to the starting lineup after a 4 year hiatus, Tom is truly a team player. Often mistaken for a toddler in the play area, Tredway has been known to loosen his tie on occasion and �get a little crazy�

Nathan �Fair Catch� Kamholz: Back in the league after a 2 year shuffle between Pittsburgh & Denver, this fan favorite is known at the Uht for his infamous �seventh inning stretch�

Beth �the Designated Titter� Waters: After a volumptiously successful 2005 campaign, this heavy-chested hitter returns to the �Wolves with the promise of urinating off the upper deck this year.

And don�t forget about the Beerwolves bench..again...DEEP! With seasoned vets like Johnny �Fingers� Kingston (who was removed from the 2006 lineup due to what front office officials called �a shitty haircut and a piss poor attitude� )coming off the bench along with 2004 Rookie of the Year Grant �Attic� Yochim, Mike �the Ladies Choice� Dropcho and Joughnuts Neidzwecki, the 2006 Beerwolves are a team to keep an eye on...if you�re still able to see.

2005 lineup
Leading off the team is "the Franchise" Jason 'Lenny" Linsted. This seasoned
veteran can be found at every game, usually nibbling on a hot pretzel, peanuts or nachos.

Batting second is "Mr. Monday Night" Brian Smith, who logged an incredible 43 hours of drinking time during his 10 game 2004 campaign.

Drunk Casanova "Hot Dog Dave" Turko is amped to break his record of devouring 27 wieners in one game. We will keep our eyes on this one.

Starting pitcher Sean "BYOB" Ackerman knows how to take full advantage of the $1 admission ticket.

Returning to the Beerwolves starting lineup after a four year hiatus is powerdrinker John "Big Dip" Kingston. The collared IZOD shirt, the avaitor sunglasses, the authoritative mustache, yeah... the magic is back.

Up next is Shawn "Strokeman" Strickland. This cool-as-a-cucumber slugger is known for his non-sensical warbling which intimidates and confuses the visiting team.

Batting seventh is longtime batboy Grant Adam Yochim. With the assistance of alcohol, Grant may lose his virginity this season.

Bringing up the rear is the first ever female Beerwolf in the starting lineup, Miss Beth Waters. Beth has spent the majority of the offseason text messaging Lenny and then passing out on his floor. With D cup boobs and penchant for smoking, Beth is a welcome addition to the squad.

The Beerwolf bench is both entertaining and experienced. David Billy Carl Beans Bliley is big playmaker and brings a humerical element to the game.
Dave "Dugout" DeFranco is currently lobbying to get Jagermeister on tap at the concession stands while contractual negotiatons are still ongoing on the possible return of Caitie Froehlich.

Beerwolf mainstay Preston "20 Questions" is sure to make an appearance while the Houghwout Three (featuring rookie sensation Marsden Cobra) strengthen the point that whole families can get drunk together.