by tom miller
by tom miller
2:43 p.m.
june 14, 1999
half hour of drunken poems from
common grounds coffee house in
gainesville, florida by tom miller
how to write a poem
a brand new
top flight pad of
legal yellow
a black felt tip
expresso
extra fine point
wrote a poem
about god
how he killed
the most people
in the bible
read it back and
threw it away
"well," i said,
"there's one."
for the love of chess
my opening
strong
soldiers
stake their best
positions
lines of attack
open
the king
begins to shake
then
my move
and the blunder
i have lost again
smack smack squirt snore
the couple on the couch
kiss
touch gently
quiet sounds i've
heard before
she is
feeling him
tonight
he'll squirt
his ratty little juice
and snore
there's not enough
love in the world
and i hate them
one for the birds
how about it!
and one
for the roaches.
can they have theirs?
how about the music?
one for the music.
and i'd like another one,
this one for fun.
this one for love.
this one for me.
this one
also for me.
i am drinking.
i am drunk.
one for you ladies.
one for the hippy
that looks like jesus.
one for jesus.
can i get one for jesus?
can i get one for jesus?
what do you mean, cut off?
i clean my hole
it is not coming out
in one piece
there is residue
and toilet paper
won't do
someone is knocking
"just a minute,"
i say.
i get a paper towel
fold it over
wet it
put on
a little soap
i stick it in there
good
rinse and repeat
they knock again
"hold on," i say.
there is still
some brown coming off
i wash again with
a new paper towel
until it comes out
clean and white
knock! knock! knock!
"for christ's sake,
i'm cleaning my
goddamn hole!
give it a rest!"
when i open the door
there is nobody there
the lady and the dog
they came walking by
the lady and the dog
the dog took pause
to sniff me
"come on,"
the lady said
she pulled the leash
and they continued
down the road
i liked the dog
but i wouldn't
sniff the bitch walking her
not even
for a liver treat
11:10 p.m. - gainesville, florida
there's no fitting in
a half moon
bitches over gainesville
people in little groups
smoking chattering
standing around
telling bad jokes
allowing time
to run them down
like road kill
birds
shit and sing
on the fence
nonsense
they scatter
at their own noise
then return
people talking to
themselves
to the air
shouting at the
traffic lights
plodding along
wide eyed
pissing on the
bricks in the
road
you allow a
mosquito
feeding on your arm
to have its fill
mirror
you don't care about my poems,
why say anything?
i hate you
go fuck yourself!
you are the ugliest
man in the world.
monkeys wouldn't
waste their shit
to throw it on you.
thank god for
affirmations
without them
i'd be nothing
darkness
it's like a
recurring nightmare
your x-boyfriend
and his new lover
appear from nowhere
to remind you
of failure
wherever you go
the club the
coffee shop
the store
they are there
you say hello
and they say hello
you go home alone
they go home together
you think about
what they do
the things you
used to do
how the intimate
moments
are given up
until there is
nothing left but
darkness
and they are there too.
goodnight coffeebar
thanks
for your encouragement
your inspiration
you have done me well
i trust you
coffeebar
with my secrets
you have never
wronged me
in the smoke
music and
dark lights
there is hope
the chess players
lose and win
the bands play
the streets
wait patiently
to guide me
home
each footstep
a kiss in the
madness of the
moist night's
soul
