by tom miller

Football - A Play for 2 Male Actors

 

 

Ed and Bob are sitting on a park bench, talking.

 

 

Ed: I was watching you last night.

 

Bob: Really?

 

Ed: Yes. Out there on the field. At the football game.

 

Bob: We kicked their asses.

 

Ed: I know… but YOU were great.

 

Bob: Really?

 

Ed: The way you threw the ball to the receivers?

 

Bob: That was the easy stuff.

 

Ed: But then, in the last few minutes of the game, you ran it in

for a touchdown.

 

Bob: Just a lucky play. But we sure kicked their asses. What a

game.

 

Ed: The way the coach patted you on the butt…

 

Bob: What a game.

 

Ed: …and then, all the players patted you on the butt.

 

Bob: Yeah. They were congratulating me for the touchdown.

 

Ed: And I wondered if maybe later…

 

Bob: Now wait just a minute…

 

Ed: …maybe later… YOU’D let ME pat you on the butt.

 

Bob: Hey… um… that’s just a football thing. It doesn’t mean

anything.

 

Ed: It means something to me.

 

Bob: No… that’s okay.

 

Ed: Bob?

 

Bob: No.

 

Ed: Do you think I could…

 

Bob: No way, man.

 

Ed: …just pat you on the butt?

 

Bob: No.

 

Ed: Just one time? Just one little pat on the butt?

 

Bob: Listen man, are you queer or something?

 

(There is a long pause.)

 

Ed: Can I pat you on the butt?

 

Bob: Maybe if you played football, but you don’t.

 

Ed: I could learn. I could learn the rules. I could study the plays.

 

Bob: It just… wouldn’t be the same.

 

Ed: But we’re friends, Bob. Friends! Not like those guys on the

field, who you see just for practice, and for the big games.

We see each other every day. We eat together; go to the movies

together, laugh together, and yes, sometimes even cry together.

So I’m asking you, not as your team mate, but as your friend.

Can I pat your butt?

 

Bob: Are you sure you’re not gay?

 

Ed: Just one time, and I’ll never ask again.

 

Bob: If I do, you won’t tell anybody, will you?

 

Ed: I promise. It’ll be our little secret.

 

Bob: Well… okay. Just this once. (Bob offers his ass.)

 

Ed: (Pats Bob’s butt a couple of times, like a little girl.) Thank you, Bob.

Friend! My best and only friend! Thank you!.

 

Bob: Don’t mention it.

 

Ed: Can I suck your dick?

 

End