I crawl back into your open arms

hmmm... I suggest not reading this unless very bored... it's just something I wrote last night and didn't know what to do with... and since hardly anyone comes here anyway, I figured there's no harm in posting it here. Best option open to you is to ignore...it's mainly for my own records.

Hmm� let us go ahead and type a loada random crap� that�s always fun� no wait� that�s football that�s always fun. Oh well, let�s try this anyway. You never know what�ll happen and besides, it�ll help my typing improve. I think I�m rather impatient. I have 2 days to wait for something� and I just can�t wait any longer. It�s been so long coming, and now this last little wait is going to last forever, I know it is� grr. All I can hope is that it�s damn worth the wait. I�m presuming it will be� in fact, I�m sure it will be. Even if the actual event isn�t so great there�s certain� elements� of it that will always be good. Cough � not mentioning anything in particular. Perhaps I should go to bed and hope that tomorrow will be a productive day and will pass quickly, and the wait will seem shorter. Perhaps that�s just a bit optimistic since this is me we�re talking about, but I don�t particularly care. I can think of quite a few things that I actually need to do tomorrow, and many many more things that I just want to do� so yeah, should be quite busy one way or the other.
Since being on study leave I�ve been using my time in a shittier way than before (and yes, that is possible). I know I should sort it out somehow, and just sort my life out in general, but to be honest, I really can�t be bothered. I�m happy with my crappy minimal existence (well, to some extent) and although I�d like to get out the house more and stuff, I�m not particularly worried about how I spend the rest of my time. Mum on the other hand� well� I think she worries about me to be honest, and although I don�t really see why she should worry, I can�t stop her from doing so. Maybe I should try and lead a slightly better life, just to make her happy, but I just don�t know. I also don�t know why I�m writing this, but I figure � why not?! If I can�t randomly type crap what can I do?

Meh, I wish I knew what I wanted outta life. Is it bad to not know at 16 what you�re aiming to achieve? I have no idea what kinda job I want, what kinda life I want to lead. Have no plans or ambitions, and am even finding it hard to choose exactly what A-Levels to do. I guess it�ll depend partly on what happens in my GCSEs, but we�ll have to wait �til the 21st August to find that one out. Also, I don�t know what I want in the short term either. I keep changing my mind about the things I want and I wish I could just settle on something to aim for and do my best to get it. It�s just not that easy though. Is it just me that these things are hard for? I doubt it sometimes, but other times I feel like it�s me� all alone. On that subject, do I even care? I�ve been told by so many people how laid back I am, but I think that could just be on the outside. I think, really, I do worry, and care about a lot of things, but my laid back, icy exterior doesn�t let it show. On the inside I�m constantly worrying about stuff, and concern myself with things that often don�t even concern me. I think being cold and secretive helps me. Keeping my emotions in means I don�t have to face them as much. I don�t like talking about myself, and if I have problems, (which is pretty rare at the moment) I don�t enjoy burdening others with them. I�m perfectly happy listening to people, and trying to help them out, or at least I think I am� perhaps I�m not really� maybe again it�s just me putting on a show in effect. Appearing to care more about others than myself� but why would I do that? There are only a few occasions when I want to talk about myself, but they�re always when people don�t want to talk about me. I�m a screwball aren�t I? Why the hell am I typing all this, and more to the point, what am I gonna do with it? A random word document with some random feelings, and ramblings� what to do with you, what to do? Should I share, or will no-one care? Meh.

Anywho, I think I�m done rambling� I don�t know why I�m bothering to say, as this document will probably just rot on my computer until I next decide to delete all the random shit, and more than likely, when that day comes, I�ll look back on it and think how pathetic I was to be looking forward so much to a random, unimportant football match� ok, perhaps not. Some things never change, and I�m guessing that�ll be one of them. However, I reckon I will look back and wonder why I typed all this� but I don�t know that at the moment, so that�s also quite irrelevant. I�ll look back on these feelings and think how trivial they are more than likely� because they are really aren�t they? I mean � what is the relevance to all this rambling to my life? It�s just wasting time, as I do all too much as it is� That�s one of the things I�ve been talking about. My procrastination. I won�t talk about the other p word here�just in case. Procrastination. One of the things my life seems to be based around. When it�s not that other p word, or that little major part of my life beginning with an L, it�s me wasting time when I should be doing more important things. I�m such a waste of an existence. And don�t get me wrong, I�m not depressed, and I don�t want to end my existence, but it really is a waste. How do I make it more worthwhile? The major things I seem to care about are my friends, quite a few of whom are based on the Internet, and that football club that has become a love of mine. Of course I do care about other things, but not quite as much, and I don�t appear to care about them on the surface. You have to delve deeper to see my other concerns. The concerns that matter (Not that friendships don�t matter, because they really do), those things that unselfish, caring people are concerned with. Not football teams, which although many people are deeply concerned with, it�s not usually their purpose of being. Oh, now I sound like LFC is my purpose of being � it�s really not � that�s a slight exaggeration, but to be honest, I can�t imagine life without that thing to escape to, to think, dream and hope about. I don�t even know what point I was trying to make now, and don�t care anymore. If I ever even did care� anyway, I could read back to find out what I was trying to say, and finish saying it, but I won�t bother. I�m done now I think. I might go to bed and see if I can sleep, and hope tomorrow will be a good, productive day. I can achieve that. I know I can.

For the record, the day was hardly productive at all... but on the bright side; one more sleep to go, one more sleep til football! ;)

� Jo

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12th July 2003

And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you

Honey, I'm home!

Yeah, you probably didn't even know I'd gone, but never mind eh? I'm back. For those of you who care/don't know, I've been travelling to and staying in Italy since the 2nd July, and got back to school at about 5 o'clock this morning. What have I done since? Crap all. Catch up on my email and websites etc, spoken to a few people I've missed and slept. Oh, and I've had my first real shower for a week and a half. Sigh. At the place we were staying they had communal showers, so the girls all showered in swimsuits - the guys mostly went naked, but that's a different story - and today was the first naked shower, at exactly the right temperature, that I've had for days. Damn I'd been missing that shower! Not as much as this little box in front of me though. Sad huh? Dunno how I went 10 days without logging onto the net once. When I first sat down at it this morning I couldn't even type properly. That my friend, is bad! Anywho, I'm back to normality now. When I first saw Dover on the ferry this morning, my exact words were "hello normal country!" Seems very pathetic, but I missed this screwy country where they drive on the different side of the road to everyone else and have crap weather, and dang, I'm just glad to be back.

Even though I'm glad to be home, the trip still kicked ass. Visit the site so I don't have to say too much about what we did. :D Something that isn't mentioned there though is what else happened at the Opening Ceremony, about how about 15 people either fainted or were in shock etc, and how the whole band got taken off the pitch early. Not to mention half the band crying and everyone being extremely pissed off. An example of pissed off-ness :

Me and Bob after going back to the coach area, stood near Mr Wright and a few other people, all in disbelief
Everyone muttering : Can't believe this/what the hell... etc etc...
Shocked silence
Me and Bob simultaneously : Fucking Hell!
Further silence
Me : Sorry Sir
Mr Wright doesn't care - was probably thinking the same

Heh, was quite funny. Had someone come up to me the day after and tell me how funny it was that me and Bob just randomly said the same thing. Lol, I had to agree!
But really, it was seriously screwed up. Half the people who weren't taken off to the doctor's room were in tears, including some of the teachers, and people whose brothers, sisters or friends had fainted or something. The rest were fuming and/or helping each other out. It was a real shock to have so many members of your band randomly collapsing and breaking down in fits of tears. I was shaking with the shock and disbelief, and so damn angry. My eyes were watering at one point, but I was fine in comparison to some others, cos everyone close to me was ok. Bob made me take my jacket and hat off and cool down even though I was fine, and forced water and sweets down me. I had lots of people checking I was ok, and really it was quite lovely how everyone was so concerned for each other. Some people were hugging everyone, and Bob was going round offering his sweets out. Perhaps I should explain, as best as I can, why so many people were ill. The reason is basically shoddy organisation - which explains the anger.

We'd been told to get ready, in our full uniforms (which consist of a jacket and a tight hat), for 7 o'clock(ish), so naturally we obliged, and were then sent to sit in the stands. We were expecting to have had dinner before the ceremony, but because we'd been told to put our uniforms on and were in the stands, we missed out on that all together. So, 3 hours later, after sitting in the boiling heat and gradually starving to death (slight exaggeration), expecting to be called onto the pitch any minute, we eventually marched on. We were then stood for what seemed like ages while some woman babbled on at us in italian. The first sign of trouble was one person fainting and being taken off on a stretcher. That's not a nice thing to see, especially when it's someone you know and they don't know what's going on. After that person, they seemed to drop like flies. I counted 7 that were taken off on stretchers, and more that walked off. We were then expected to play this song with the rest of the bands, but I think only about 5 people made it through the whole song. Most of us were in no fit state to play, and the rest of us weren't either by the end of it, as even more people left. At the end of the song they sat us down for a minute, before deciding we were all going to leave early. I was walking off next to someone whose best friend was one of the first to go. She was walking in silence and close to tears, and I just didn't know what to say. I gave a few concerned looks, but couldn't think of anything to say to try and comfort her.
By the time we reached the coach, anger and upset was everywhere, and although we were assured that everyone was ok, it was still a horrible feeling. Perhaps if we'd not put on the hot uniforms 2.5 hours earlier than we needed to, and if we'd had some dinner before sitting/standing round for hours, everyone would've been ok. Basically, the organisers of the thing gave us a shipload full of bullshit, and messed us about too damn much. None of the other bands got all that amount of crap! While we were sat in the stands, they were probably all off eating dinner and stuff. Grr...

Anywho, after that, and even before that we had a good time. For the rest of the holiday the staff all took so much more care to make sure we were all ok. Made sure we had enough to eat and drink, and weren't in the stuffy uniforms for too long. It was really sweet actually. They must've felt responsible as at least 3 of them were in tears, and they were so nice to us it was kinda sickening. Heh, they did a good job though, it wasn't their faults that the organisers were screwed up.

I think I'm done now... would talk more about the fun points of the trip, but I reckon I've bored you enough... so I'll shut up. Oh, and by the way, we came 12th in the whole thing. 12th in the world championships... pretty damn impressive really. We represented England... sweet... and the rest of the bands had been around a lot longer than us, so all things considered - we did very well. :) Big up the TSSB! - and no, that's not a deformed bank - it's the 12th best band in the world... well... not technically... but we've got that title, so there!)

^Bleedin' Heck! That was hefty!!! Sorry! No doubt you're asleep by reaching the end - so sweet dreams!

� Jo

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20th June 2003

Examinations complete

*breathes a sigh of relief*

Well, thank god that's over! 1 month, 17 exams... has passed by and I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

*cough* Nah, I'm not really all that excited. Thought I'd be singing and dancing when this day came but it doesn't feel as great as I thought it would. Meh, I'm sure I'll feel the difference when I get to the next schoolday and realise it isn't a schoolday. So... I might end up spending a bit more time updating this place... making some people actually visit. If I get content, might get visitors. Not that I really care about visitors... but all I seem to be using this place for is pictures and gradually increasing the liverpool stuff... yes... i can see you rolling your eyes, but at least it's something I'm interested in and motivated enough to work on.

Anywho, got nothing to say as per usual, and no-one's gonna read this anyway so it doesn't matter... erm... yeah... byebye

� Jo

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20th May 2003

Examinations...

Jesus, would you believe it?! This s(h)ite's been online for over a year now... I missed the birthday due to not caring, but it's now a year and 8 days old. Woot! Happy birthday to the shitness! It's amazing how little this thing's grown over a year - I've hardly updated it recently, the content's still microscopic and its main use now is for uploading files to share with people... so the question facing me now is, do I try to improve it or let it keep rotting here? I'm guessing noone visits anymore, so I dunno if I'll bother. Hmmm... we shall wait and see I suppose.

Anywho, it seems exams are upon us again. Remember my rant about exams last year? Didn't think so... well, it's in "Things that Suckass" anyway... well, GCSEs are here now - wOOt! Had 2 today, think they were ok...
In total, by June 20th, I'll have done 12 GCSEs, and I've completed 3 full ones already, (maths last year, and art and music this) and by the end of the week I'll have finished 5. Not bad going I guess, but got all the hard ones in a couple of weeks. :(

Hmmm... don't have much to say... I'm at a loss what to talk about now, what with the premiership being over again for another season. :( erm... my arm's nearly better, (never posted here that it was broken but still). Apparently the bone's "fixed" (heehee) now and I can move it again, but the muscles are all stiff. It's good to be able to use two hands again though. :D

Ok, I'm done. Got literally nothing else to say, except LALALALALALALALALALALA!!! :s

� Jo

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16th April 2003

Sun is shining, weather is sweet again!

So... it's been a while huh? As per, I have nothing to say... so I dunno why I'm updating. Well, it's a nice day here... so I guess that's something to make me smile... :) Ummm... I've got the Beatles on to dance to... it's weird how good old music is for dancing too. I was sat here last night playing it with the speakers turned right up and couldn't resist dancing. Does that make me weird?

It's nearly Easter... I guess that could be a talking point. But I have nothing to say about Easter... Jesus died on Good Friday and resurrected on Easter Sunday, but I guess you know that. Easter is now much more commercialised, like Christmas, and many people are unaware of the real meaning, they just see it as a chance to eat a lot of chocolate and get a couple of weeks/days off school/work respectively. That's my spiel about Easter done with. *dances to The Beatles some more* What kinda name is The Beatles anyway? Beatles?! Whyyyyyyy?! (random outburst)

Hmmm... I really should go walk my doggie... but it's no fun alone. :( Even with the sun shining... ah well, must be done I guess. I reckon I'll just go lie on the park in the sun and the damn dog can run if he wants... if not, no skin off my nose. Have to go and get Bob outta bed to look after the house first... might be hard! :s I need lots of good luck. *wishes herself good luck* I'll shut up now... I could talk more but it'd just be about Liverpool, and I promised not to talk about that subject the next time I updated... so I'm not. *ties fingers together to stop herself typing*

� Jo

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3rd March 2003

We love you Liverpool, we do! We love you Liverpool, WE DO!!!

Whoop-dee-doo!!! In your face manc scum! In your face all the neutrals who sided with the Mancs! In your face all you doubting Liverpool fans! I knew you could do it... never doubted you for a second... ok, maybe for a second, but I got over it very quickly! :) Doubt anyone who I didn't tell believes me, but I also predicted 2-0 and that Owen and Gerrard would score... and BAM BAM! They did! And The Dude with his clean sheet... wow... :D :D :D
Can't stop grinning!

Hmm... I'll try and calm down a little. Had a good day today, probably mainly down to Liverpool's victory... OVER THEIR HUGEST RIVALS! Sorry.... I'm gonna stop talking about it now... honest... :S I can't! I can't do it!!! It's too big a part of my life... man that sounds sad... but it's not, right?! I'm gonna make a picture page for the Worthington Cup Win in a minute... just in case anyone cares, and there'll be a link to it on the Liverpool page of this shitehole.

Anyway... I'm honestly gonna stop talking about Liverpool now. Right.... NOW! Can't think of anything else to talk about...

Lovely weather we're having... or not.... umm.... School! School is... the same as usual. Been getting quite a bit of work and as usual leaving it to the last minute... and it's as boring as ever. Do the same every day, the routine's so dull, and I'm stuck in it. :( There's no way out. Ah well, c'est la vie.

Well.... completely run out of things to say now... will try and think of something that isn't about Liverpool to write next time I update.

� Jo

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2nd March 2003

Especially for you...

This is just for you Sinead, so you better appreciate it! Got nothing worth saying, so I'll just say :

Moo! Moo! Cheese! Cheese! FISH! Moooooooooooooooooooo! I love you!

Sinead told me to update this thing... and said to say that I love her... so consider it done. Hope you appreciate it matey!

Night night everyone! And BIG UP THE REDS! YNWA!

� Jo

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20th February 2003

Ho-Hum...

Dreams are not real.
Dreams are not real.
Dreams are not real.
Dreams are not real.
Dreams are not real.
Dreams are not real.
Dreams are not real.
Dreams are not real.
Dreams are not real.
Dreams are not real.
Dreams are not real.
Dreams are not real.
Dreams are not real.

That's right boys and girls, dreams are not real. I keep telling myself this, but I still can't convince myself that it's true. I don't think the poster my mum bought me for Christmas saying "Believe your dreams" that is now next to my bed really helps! Dreams are actually starting to annoy me. Quite a lot actually. I won't go into what they're about - you can get your own perverse ideas about that - but it's getting to the point where every morning I remember a dream... and it's always bizaare. Sometimes in a good way :D but sometimes in a very bad way. :'(

Anyway... enough about dreams (which for the record, aren't real!)... I did have something else to say... honest... but it's 1.27 in the morning and I haven't moved from this computer screen for ages... so I really dunno what I'm typing etc... so... yeah. Goodnight.

And whatever I was saying is probably very unimportant on the global scheme of things! After all, there is a very important football match tonight which I for one intend to watch... which is obviously more important than my fatigued ramblings...
I'm gonna go now. :(

� Jo

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1st February 2003

You'll Never Walk Alone...

Well, I've been in a very Liverpool-ified mood all this week... more so than usual, so I've spent a few hours of my day today searching for, saving and uploading pictures. The end result? This. The start of a page dedicated to LFC... which is a freakishly large part of my life... :D

� Jo

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20th January 2003

Down in the ground there's a place where you go if you've been a bad boy

. <= Me. Yup, I�m just an insignificant little dot. Not an important dot, like one that dots an i� just a pointless one� like a speck of dust. Ever felt like that? I have quite a few times recently � like my existence doesn�t matter� or perhaps it�s not visible/audible. I won�t give any examples unless the wrong person reads this. I was thinking as I was walking the dog (as I often do while I�m walking along in the dark, practically alone) that not many people would care if I died. I know it�s a bad thing to say, but I don�t think it�d affect many people. I figured about 15 people would come to my funeral if I died tomorrow (heaven forbid) and a couple of them would just be checking that I was dead! I think about 5 would really care and the rest would just feel it was their �duty�.

Anyway, enough about my insignificance, I don�t want you to think I�m depressed, coz really I�m not. Just been thinking a few things over. This year�s been going quite well so far� don�t have many objections at all.

I�ve gotta type up a list of my New Year Resolutions to share with you, and also I made a hit list � see link on the right. ;) It�s quite short and vague, but obvious! I need more content to add to this hole. Any suggestions? Sign the Guestbook or mail me or something� and I don�t just want �Get A Life!� coz I�ve tried, and believe me, it isn�t that easy!

Also, one last thing, just had to fit it in...
ahhness... ... or ... AHHNESS!!!
You decide!
(sorry Streeky, but no competition methinks!)

� Jo

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14th January 2003

It's a sad day...

I don't often do this, but I'd like to inform everyone, that Daniel Vaughan sucks. I have never named names in a bad way before, but it's necessary. He has the suckiest sense of humour in the world, and has hurt people unnecessarily, including someone very close to me. He deserves everything he gets, and if I ever see him again it'll be too soon... and it'll take a lot to stop me kicking his head in. Daniel, if by any chance you come here: you suck so much ass it's unbelievable. What the hell is wrong with you?

� Jo

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11th January 2003

Forget everything I said last night...

I've found the one I really want. I even like the pickups. Here it is! sigh... I'm in love. :)

� Jo

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10th January 2003

So this is what the future's like...

Happy 2003! Hope it treats you well. I've got mine off to a great start, ;) And I hope it continues. After searching for quite a long while I think I've finally found what I wanted. :) Here it is, in all its greatness! CLICK!

It has its faults, as everything does, but it's still cool. If I don't think about the price it's cool. Failing that, I found a cheaper, but still very expensive one, here! I can't decide which is nicer... but they're both cool. The worst bit is the pick-ups... but it's a small fault! :)

� Jo

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24th December 2002

Nearly Christmas...

In the Christmas spirit, Howdy How! (Mr Hanky)

So, here I am at 1.30 in the morning, Christmas Eve... Why? I don't rightly know. I'm not tired, and I've been on the net for almost 3 hours now. I'm kinda contemplating going to bed, but I don't feel tired enough, so I figured I'd write some mindless ramblings here. Excuse the probable poor spelling, lack of readability and so on, it is 1.33!

Screw it... I just wrote something hefty... but realised I dunno what I'm on with and should just scrap it. Sorry... I'm getting confused. Maybe I'll put it up some other time.

Merry Christmas Everyone... who might come here... for some strange reason! Smile... :( i mean... :D of course....

� Jo

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8th December 2002

Just for Lou!

Here you go Lou, I'm updating just for you. I have absolutely nothing I want to say (on here anyway) so umm.... OOH! I learnt how to do mouseovers on pics! It's a pretty simple code really, I just never found it before, so go on, hold the mouse over the pic of the horse, it'll be very exciting for you! ;)

Ho-hum... well, my mock exams are over at school, so that's cool I guess. Now we've only got 10 days left at school before Christmas, which is a good and bad kinda thing. Good - we only have 10 days left at the craphole, it's nearly Christmas. Bad - We still have 10 days left at the craphole, and it's too nearly Christmas. I've done no shopping yet, which is great. :( I've had such a boring day today, (no offense Lou - know you feel the same way!) so have nothing ;) to report. Heh, you might understand the wink... :)

I'm really bored of the songs I have on my PC. I need some more to download. If you have any suggestions, let me know.

� Jo

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26th November 2002

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Brownie! :D Hope you had a good day, and coz I didn't get you a card... I made one... To Brownie... open up! lol... it's not that great... I got bored, so thought I'd do something semi-creative.
P.S. It's meant to be on a blackboard... hence the border and dodgy spray technique (meant to look like chalk...) I think I failed! :S
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANYWAY! :)

� Jo

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25th November 2002

Ouch

Ow... I'm in pain. My head hurts. A lot. I hate being in pain... wonder why that is? And now my hand hurts from cutting cheese. But not with my cheese knife. I miss my cheese knife. It was perfect for cutting cheese, and now seems to have vanished :( My family think it never existed, and I'm crazy... but they're wrong! :'( I want my cheese knife back!!!
Anyway, enough of that!

� Jo

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20th November 2002

Exams

:'( Exams suck. They haven't even started yet, but they are the crappest things in the world. I counted, and over the next 10 or so schooldays I have 18 exams. 18!!! It's not fair. Why do we have to have exams? Can't they examine us by the standard of our work or something? No... that's a bad idea... my work's shit. Before I forget, I scanned in a pic of my dog looking cute and peaceful for once... Lookit! Just thought I'd show you that for the fun of it. I uploaded a few other pics too. 2 with me and lou on - the ones she says are semi-decent - and one of my guitar... I know, sad, but I thought a nice pic of "Tissue" in his natural environment would be... interesting.

I had something else to say... but I've lost it............... umm.... .exams suck! Yes... umm.... no, I really can't remember. Stupid brain.

� Jo

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14th November 2002

Happy Birthday!

SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOU! AND ROSH TOO... hee hee... to celebrate your birthday Lou (which is actually the 15th, when I guess you'll be visiting anyway), I've created a lovely, *cough cough* collage of your life in pictures! You can view it here! Enjoy... hee hee hee!

� Jo

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11th November 2002

Happy.

By request, I'm being happy... look at me go... :D Happy now people? I admit, perhaps I went a bit far yesterday, but I'm good... honest. Nothing to concern anyone else with anyway. Happy life everyone. And remember it's rememberance day!

Yes, in fact, I'm so happy, I'm gonna do a little dance. *Does half hearted funky chicken dance... gets bored... stops* I tried! And on a good note, I have finished my RE cwk, so it could be worse!

� Jo

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10th November 2002

It sucks.

Yep, it all sucks... it all sucks so much ass and I can't even be bothered to explain... just thought I'd update so anyone who might waste time coming here would know I was alive... I'm alive... unfortunately. It'd be so much easier if I was dead. My family would be happier, life would be easier for me coz I wouldn't have one and I reckon even most of my friends would be happier. I don't really care if noone agrees with me, but it's not anyone's fault that I feel this way right now... it just sucks... life sucks... I suck. It's my fault and I'm past caring about anything.

� Jo

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1st November 2002

Happy Halloween Everybody

Have a good one? I did. I'll go into more detail later, but I had a really good night, even though I only got 2 hours sleep, and it wasn't in the desired location! I'm really tired now, so might have a nap. Happy November!

Ok, I'm awake now, so napping would be kinda pointless! So... what is there to say? Man, I think I was a bit depressed-ified in that last update. The bottom 3 lines... jeez. I gotta chill a bit! Hmm... anywho... yes, so I had fun last night! I already said that... I didn't drink too much though, I was "a bit out of my tree" apparently! Most people will probably realise that I didn't do much, if they can remember, but I enjoyed myself! I'm sure I had something to say, but now I can't remember what it was....... can't have been very exciting....

� Jo

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30th October 2002

Bored!

Howdy everybodys. I am back to bore the hell outta ya! Not that I have anything to say really. I've had the most boring day imaginable! ... I did have a big update written, but I think it was a bit too bitchy to post. You can probably guess what/who it was bitching at, if you know me... You know what I'm talking about! I might try and edit it and post a less bitchy version. Later, if I can be bothered.

I think I'm bored of this background and title image already, but I think I'll stick with it a bit longer. I still don't know if the whiteness is a bit too much... damnit, who really cares? It's not like anyone actually visits this place! I think I'm wasting time and space updating this thing, and I really need more content, but I have nothing else to include. Damn life.

Dang, I just re-did the Dateable test down the bottom, and now it's telling me I'm 78% dateable!!! Confused! I swear I didn't change any answers... or did I? I think I believe the first one, 66%, but now I'm confused... hmm... personally I'd go for 0%! Ah well... c'est la vie.

There was actually a point to the picture. Confusion... that was the idea. It was to show my bloody confusion. Life is so fcuking confusing!!! Reading minds would be so helpful in my life, but that's impossible isn't it? It would be... everything I want is either really out of reach or completely impossible. Where's the point?

� Jo

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28th October 2002

Lookit!!!

WOW! For all you perceptive people out there, I made a bit of a change! lol... It better be obvious! I've been fiddling about with the layout a lot, and I think I'm finally satisfied! If you think it looks crap, then I don't care, because I like it! :D The only thing I'm thinking of changing now is this basic table layout in the middle, I think it's a bit boring, but I dunno how to improve it. I'll work on it offline sometime...

Anywayz, we got a week off now! :D So I'm gonna be happy for a while! ;) YAY! Also, it's nearly Halloween, and I'm hopefully going to a party, so that should be cool. I've been spending a lot of time with my guitar over the last couple of days, and have been learning quite a few new songs, or bits of songs, but now my fingers hurt. My own fault for not playing it enough! I've also downloaded loads of songs this weekend, including a helluva lot of tenacious d. Their little short songs are so cool! Especially the one note song! Hee hee. It's amazing how many lickle songs they've done. I never knew before yesterday!

Anyway, I'm gonna go learn some more tabs now! Kyle took a bullet for me is on now! LMAO at the crazy freaks!

� Jo

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21st October 2002

Life sucks ass!

Long time no update. You lucky people who bother to visit this place!

No, I don't have anything to say. Not anything I wish to share with whatever person may visit this hole anyway! Everyone's life seems to be pretty screwed up at the moment - Not mentioning any names! In comparison mine seems ok, and my life's always crap! I guess it's our age. I think it's written in those unwritten rules that teenagers have to have fucked up lives. Or perhaps it's just in our selfish teenage minds that life's fucked up... Got ya thinking? Nope, me neither. I hate thinking, but it happens too often. I hate the fact that you can't control what you think most of the time, and how your mind wanders to impure matters in church, or RE, or something that you should be concentrating in! Is this just me? :/

Just changed the pic at the top. I dunno if I prefer it to the fire. I'll keep it up for a bit and see. I wanna have fire somewhere in the design too though... I dunno, I'll work on it offline some time. I really gotta add pages to this thing too, but I never have time, and when I have time, I can't be bothered! Grrr.... I suck ass so much! I'm a crap person!!!!

Gonna go now, coz Coupling's on soon, and I love my TV! ;) I'm so alone and sad! :( Damn you people who have happiness!!!!!!!

� Jo

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5th October 2002

Bad Geocities!

Ok, it seems that Geocities don't allow forms to be sent to an e-mail address, so when you fill in the survey and click submit, it doesn't send. It may say it's sent, but I don't receive it. I'm not quite sure why. So instead of having it sent to me, and you being impressed by my HTML skills, I'm gonna re-make the guestbook with the same questions... or as many as I can manage. So even if you've filled it in before, please do so again. Stupid Geocities!

Also, what do you think of this picture for a title image? Better than the fire or not? Mail me, or tell me in the guestbook!

� Jo

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30th September 2002

Survey... I hope!

Ok, the survey's up and running... I hope. No-one's tested it yet, but I'm working on it. You can view it here! Go on, click it, and fill it in. I hope it'll send. If not, Mail Me!

I'll probably be back later. Maybe with something to say, but in the mean time, try the survey! Ple-e-e-e-e-ease!

� Jo

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28th September 2002

Bored

Hey, It's 10.10 and I should be in bed considering I have to get up at 6 tomorrow, but I don't feel sleepy, just bored. So, naturally, I update my website... makes sense. I can't be bothered to work on the survey, even though I've started it. It takes up too much thought, and I prefer to let my mind wander as I listen to music. Colourblind by Counting Crows is on. I just managed to get it downloaded, so now you know I have it Lou, come listen whenever you wish. It is the one from Cruel Intentions, and now I remember how it goes. It's cool. You'll recognise it as soon as you hear the intro.

I got nothing to say... just out of boredom I thought I'd write something. I really need to get credit on my phone, but the lack of money causes a problem. :( Life's so boring when you can't text. It's bad enough when you can, but when you can't it just plain sucks! I'm gonna go now, so that when you read this, you aren't being bored for too long... Music's cool...

� Jo

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27th September 2002

Da-da-da!

The end of another week! WooHoo! It went quite quickly this week, always the best way for it to go! ;) I need alcohol. I'm in the kinda mood where I drink a lot. Preferably alcoholic sweetness of some kind, but even Coke would do... at a push. Lol, I just took 2 tests. The results are on the right hand side, along with two others!

Wow. It was the last ever episode of the X-Files last night. I'm gonna miss that show. But what an episode! If you saw it, you'll know what I mean, if you didn't and are intending to, I won't spoil it by telling you what happened, and if you're not going to see it... What The Hell Is Wrong With You?! If you've ever seen an episode of the X-Files, you gotta see this one... it's like the end of an era! God, it made me laugh and cry! I hardly ever cry at TV (that's a total lie) but I cried at this... not much though, I wasn't bawling my eyes out... that would've just been embarrassing! The suspense during that 110 minutes nearly killed me! It was quite scary, as in "Argh! What's gonna happen?! I don't wanna cry!" kinda thing... I'll shut up now, if you're not a fan of the X-Files, you'll be bored shitless!

Risking sounding like a right couch potato here, Scrubs also made me laugh myself stupid last night. Just one little bit. The janitor guy cracks me up. If you don't watch scrubs, this may confuse you, but this is what made me laugh.
JD is standing in the canteen watching this girl he was seeing... can't remember her name... and the camera switches to the janitor, eating on the table in front of her.
Janitor: (not quite sure of the wording) What are you doing? You're watching me eat aren't you?!
J.D : What? No-
Janitor: (pours his orange juice on his food) There! You happy now?! Now noone can eat it! (gets up and walks off)
Lmao... It was funnier at the time. The wording was probably better, but it's just the basic idea... that janitor dude always makes me laugh... he's just got this strange opinion of JD. I don't think anyone understands it.... Another example : looks like he's searching for something. JD: What you lost? Janitor: Nothing. Why? What did you take? lol... I watch too much tv.

God, how much can one person write about 2 TV programmes... (more than this, but I won't!) I'm gonna try and make a survey thingy for you to fill in... just need to learn the HTML for it... shouldn't be too difficult! Also, Lou might be posting here later... If she comes here... I don't wanna give her my password... dunno why... She would have the power... to do anything. That scares me. I reckon I can trust you Lou. Meh, I dunno...

� Jo

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23rd September 2002

Well Hello there! We just got windows xp and it's kinda weird, so writing this is kinda difficult. The screen keeps flashing. I'm guessing it's the fault of my computer, but it could be geocities!

People are strange sometimes! On Saturday some random old guy from the local allotments came to give my dad some tomatoes. My Dad didn't know him, but apparently he knows us. Maybe my mum knows him! It's strange though. What made him think we'd want tomatoes? The human race is dodgy.

We went to another band contest yesterday. We came 3rd again. Our 5th ever contest! lol, last year we came 9th (out of 9!) and 5th (out of 5!) This year however, we've come 3rd out of about 6/7, 1st out of 4 and 3rd out of 7. We were slightly disappointed yesterday. I dunno, I guess after coming first last time, dropping back down to 3rd was a bit of a let down. It's still good though. We got another contest next weekend, and finals on the 13th October. After that we've got another nice long break until next season! Plenty of spare time to do stuff! Stuff's my favourite pasttime. lol.

Not got a great deal to say. I've got to add more pages to this thing. If you have any decent ideas, e-mail me. My address is on the right hand side somewhere. I can't be bothered to link you to it again. I'll try and have something exciting to say next time! Bye bye!

� Jo

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18th September 2002

So... it's Wednesday again. I am now going to add to About Me right about now... so, go look if you feel like it. I might have something else to say afterwards too!

� Jo

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16th September 2002

Hee hee, cuddlemonkey.

Hey, I'm back from my exciting weekend! lol. It was actually quite good i guess. The hotel was quite crap, and the food was absolute shit, but other than that I enjoyed it!

I think the best part of the trip was being on the bus, coz that�s when we got to actually talk to people. The rooms were only for 2, so there wasn�t really much talking to be done. On the bus though, we could all talk 2 each other, play cards and watch a coupla dodgy films. There was nowhere for us to hang out at the hotel, so I enjoyed the time on the bus!

Woo! I have broadband! In your face suckers!!! Sorry, I�m excited. It�s a new experience to me! Also, I now have a scanner again, so will be able to mess about with photos, deforming people and maybe putting a few pics onto here. Oh, I�m also trying to write more to add to the About Me page, and I�ll try and get it up on the net later tonight or tomorrow. Anywho, I�ll be off now, need to watch neighbours! :)

� Jo

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12th September 2002

Hello, 'tis I, back again! Sorry... you were probably hoping for it to be Lou to say something interesting, but no, it's me. I'm happy, like Lou, coz, like Lou, I'm going to Belgium for 3 days, starting at midnight 2nite. g2g, write more soon, maybe, or perhaps when i get back! bye bye all! have a fun day at school n the weekend!

� Jo

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10th September 2002

hi this is louise :)i'm gonna be postin here for a little while... well... until i get bored (which usually happens rather quickly)and that is if i can get access to my pc. well... i'm here to make the site a little more interestin... well... i can try! (only jokin jo its grrreat! laff!)however my purpose here is not to bore the hell outta everyone like.. mentioning no names... FRANKIE!! brownie if your readin this... we all no u are... GET RID OF FRANKIE SHES FUCKIN UP UR SITE! lets b honest who gives a shit??!

by the way... send all your hate mail to Me! Anywayz... on to happier things, i'm goin to Belgium :) i'm gettin a day off school yay! i wish i was goin for a week but 3 days is better than none so thats cool.

Anywayz... ive gotta go... o...k no need to sound so relieved about me going! well... c ya!

� lou

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9th September 2002

What a lovely day it's been... when lovely means shitty that is. I don't just mean the rain, although that really was the icing on the cake of a chocolate extravaganza of shitness!

The rain all day long made me slightly depressed to start with, and I had a lot on my mind recently, which made it kinda worse. All was well... well... as well as it gets, until graphics, but graphics has always been my thinking lesson. I think... a lot! So, as usual I was sitting, slowly working, scribbling colour onto a sheet... ie, wasting time, and thinking. My thoughts are kinda depressing, and confusing, and kinda personal, so I won't go into that, but Lou was (accidentally... cough cough) winding me up. Pretending to know stuff and teasing me. I threatened to cry, but it didn't stop her! I really would though, honest Louise! So watch it!

Anywhoo, when I left graphics it was completely pissing it down, and I had to walk (all the way - lol) to my bus stop. I decided to wait outside the gate - bad decision - for someone to walk with. Stupidly I missed the first, and only option, so I was standing there even longer, getting wet. It wasn't too bad though, there was a benefit! Anyway, after about a minute, I got bored, and thought I'd catch up with my option (Sarah), so I started walking... well... practically running, up the middle of the road. When I tried to get onto the pavement, I practically walked into someone, then dodging outta their way, I walked into someone's umbrella. I suck at this whole walking game. It was quite funny though, I laughed, and Sarah laughed at me. I aim to amuse! :)

By the time I got off the bus, I was past caring about how soaked I was, and purposefully jumped in every puddle on my way home! I must've looked really stupid, and childish, but like I said, I was so peed off with the world, and the wetness, I didn't give a damn.

Having just got in outta the rain, I had to go back out again, to walk the dog. It's not fun in the rain, as you may know. Anywhoo, just getting out of the gate, i was feeling quite enthusiastic! More puddles to jump in after all! Then it went wrong. The gate slammed itself shut on my right hand... thanks to the power of wind! I think I swore loudly than ever before, and bent over with the pain. You'd be surprised how much it hurt! It looks like a little scratch and soon to be a bruise, but at first I could have sworn I'd broken my thumb! Heh, I was gonna scan it in, like Brownie, but I figured noone'll care enough to look! If you really wanna see, I'll show you at school, but it aint very impressive!
A few other things pissed me off, and the day isn't over yet, but I won't bore you with anymore!

Science was surprisingly funny today. After watching The Faculty last night, -which by the way I found really cool, but kinda scary, as you may know, especially if I was texting you during it ;) - I was cautious of the teachers! Sitting around the front, pretending to listen to Sutch, for some reason I just found it extremely funny when he kept coming over and leaning/sitting near Streeky. We were all laughing, practically out loud, and I'm not really sure why. I guess it was, for me anyway, the fact that we'd been talking about The Faculty, and evil teachers, and then he kept getting closer. I dunno, but it was kinda funny. I think it was just the look on Streeky's face, and especially the comment that he Smells like old people! I dunno, but I thought it was funny.... maybe i'm just weird!

Anywhoo, now I've written you so much shit, I'm gonna go and do some art work. Only a tiny bit, I just need to do more research! La-Di-Da, I'm still thinking, and life sucks. People are so complicated! Why can't I read minds???????

� Jo

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5th September 2002

Grr... first day back at school today. I guess my feelings about that are obvious, considering I hate it. I had a crap ass experience today. As I've done my maths GCSE already, I have to spend this year doing something else. Usually, they get a choice, but for some reason this year they've decided to tell us what we're doing. Since I got an A, they want me to do a module of the A-Level course, which would be all very well and good if I was going to do A-Level at the 6th Form, but I don't wanna! I wanna do Statistics, a seperate GCSE, and tomorrow I gotta go argue with the head of maths about doing it instead. I got a big argument lined up, but I ain't gonna bore you with that.
Other than that, it's been an OK day. I guess it was kinda good seeing people again. I know Lou's thinking it's someone in particular, but NO! Well, yeah, but other people too! Anyway, after do shit-all homework over the summer, I now gotta do nearly a whole history essay 2nite! Oops, oh well... work must be done I guess!

� Jo

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23rd August 2002

That wasn't my whole update, I just got distracted by my mother, and haven't had time to finish it off. So I will now.
There was an idea behind the pictures. I was gonna say that the first one is my idea of heaven... well, not literally, but it'd be really cool! The other one is more like what I actually do when I go riding. I ride across the country instead of the beach, which is pretty cool. I added those pics on the day that I'd been riding with my mum and sister. It was cool, so I felt inspired to look for pretty pictures! lol. I'd love my own horse. It's one of three things that'd make my life practically perfect.
God, I just realised that they are only 8 days until I go back to school. :\ I've achieved so little this holiday that it scares me. I still have a tonne of hwk to do, and I need to buy stuff for school... it's worrying that over nearly 6 weeks I've done practically nothing worth while. I did have some good news though. I went to get the result for my maths GCSE on Thursday. I wasn't worried about it, like a lot of people were, I didn't really care about what I got at all. It's only maths, only school, who cares? I was really surprised when I found out what I got though. I got an A. I was quite shocked, and relieved. Even though it's only maths, and only school, it's still a GCSE, and might help me a bit in the long run.
I was gonna make a "People I'd Like to Hit in the Face with a Shovel" List now, but I really should do something more worthwhile, so I guess I'll do it another time. La-di-da, better go now...

� Jo

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16th August 2002

Dear God! The sun's shining!!! In Nottingham!!! *faints* Lol, it ain't that much of a shock I know. It's nice though. But the thing is it's failing to cheer me up... but I've decided not to be depressed all the time now, and I'm really gonna try to be more cheerful.
Shame we got school again soon. Been enjoying the break! Gonna work on the "About Me" page soon, maybe later, maybe tomorrow. Just thought I'd inform you of what I'm getting upto, in case you care!

� Jo

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10th August 2002

Hey, like the new picture? I thought I'd give this place a firey kinda look, so I have done. Also, the new official name is Obsession - in case you hadn't guessed! Just a short update to inform you of that. Oh, and I've added a new page, about me. Check the right hand side for the link, if you care. Haven't finished yet, but I made a start.

� Jo

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6th August 2002

So, here I am, 2 weeks into the summer holiday... What have I achieved so far? Well, I went on holiday for just over a week, to lovely cornwall (cough cough). No, it wasn't all that bad, it was quite relaxing, and the weather was mainly ok so I can't really complain, but I will anyway. I know it sounds sad, but I missed home! Well, not so much home as the people at home and what I would have been doing if I wasn't on my great, family holiday! Well, it's pointless going on about it, coz absolutely no1 cares, oddly enough.
Has anyone not seen Goldmember yet? Or is that just me? Nearly everyone I know has seen it and is telling me how great it is... but I am going to see it... soon.
Umm... *insert comment here about crapness of life* - perhaps not, 2 depressing....

� Jo

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17th July 2002

Well well well... only one day left until the summer! Which means I should be ecstatic, but in a word (or 2) I'm not. I've been extremely depressed the last few days, despite the sun... even though I cheer up occasionally, it never lasts...
Anyway, the reasons for my depression are numerous, and no-one really cares, so that doesn't matter, but I am currently seeking revenge. Revenge on many, MANY people! Although they is one in particular I can't mention his name here, so that'll have to remain in the closet... but he peed me off so much yesterday.... grrrrrr.........
Change of subject Lauren-style.... over the summer I hope to improve this crap-pile, but I'm not sure if I can be bothered to put the effort in! :-/ Summer........ hmmm...... should be fun I guess. Dunno what I'm doing. Since my trip to Edinburgh has been cancelled (I was looking forward to that- the highlight of my holiday....) it looks like I'm just going to be going to Cornwall with my family.... fun fun fun!
Hmph... just wrote a different update, but decided not 2 post it due to risky things being said.... la-di-da.......

� Jo

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20th June 2002

I'm sat in a should-be maths lesson at the moment with Louise and Streeky. He just updated the crap factory saying how boring we're all being, so i'm doing the same. we have 20 minutes left to sit, surfing the web and doing shit-all! Fun Fun Fun! Lou and Streeky aint talking, so i'm bored stiff!

� Jo

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10th June 2002

I'm bored yet again, and in the deepest depths of boredom, what do i do? update my website, sad hey? I should be revising for the maths GCSE I have tomorrow, but strangely enough, i really can't be doing with maths right now especially when i was happy yesterday, and am trying not to get too stressed. Anyway, yesterday I went to a contest in Bilston with my school band, Trinity Show Band. It was a long day with an early start, and when I got home I had 2 spend a couple of hours doing re coursework! Great fun! The contest itself was really good actually, i think we performed really well, and obviously the judges thought we were ok, coz we got 2 trophies and 3rd place overall! I was happy, and i think everyone else was, especially when they started singing "we are the champions!" Imagine what it'd be like if we got 1st! (which hopefully we will sometime soon!)
I'm gonna add a few things to the suckass page now, coz there's a long list of sucky things in this world! :P

� Jo

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7th June 2002

:D England won! In your face Argentinians! Go England, Go England, Go Go Go England! :)
I'm a bit happy in case you can't tell! :D :D :D
Playing Nigeria on Wednesday, we need at least a draw to go through to the next round, but i guess everyone knows that... might shut up now! But WAY 2 GO IN-GER-LERND!!!!!!

� Jo

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6th June 2002

Ok, I've gone a little football mad for the world cup! It's just a temporary thing while i work on a new layout. Gonna add some new pages sometime soon as well. G2g tidy my room now apparently. Fun Fun Fun! But... GO ENGLAND!!!

� Jo

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19th May 2002

Ok, does anyone speak japanese? This site is really funny! I don't understand it and i doubt you wil, but it made me laff anyway! Funny Japanese Films! Just click on any of the file names to watch the films, a couple r just pix tho!
There's also a game 2 play, even if u dont understand japanese, it's easy enough to work out! Sushi eating Game!!!
These things are going in the thingz that kickass page 2mo!

� Jo

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17th May 2002

Had an english exam today; great fun... or not. What really gets me is that today, when i really needed to work to get the exam finished in time, unlike in the others when i wanted to daydream, and couldn't, i couldn't concentrate and did nothing but daydream... so that's why my english exam is gonna get a really crap mark!
Gonna make that thingz that kickass page now, outta boredom, starting with Liverpool FC! :D

� Jo

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14th May 2002

Ok, i'm just informing you all, i mean you... one? maybe two? visitors that i'm adding those new pages today. I'll be adding more to the lists all the time and i might make some other pages soon, like "All About Me!" (corny) etc...

� Jo

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13th May 2002

Howdy, I've just decided that exams absolutely suck ass! That's gonna be a section on this shit pile, Thingz that suckass, along with Thingz that Kickass! I'll make them next time i have a spare half hour. Anyway, back 2 exams, they suck right? When you finish them before the time's up, you end up with ages sat around doing nothing, and these r the exams that you always have tonnes of time for... but when you need loads of time, and have 2 essay questions left and 2 minutes to do them in.... you run out of time!!! grrr. i'd like 2 know how they work out how long to make them last. Also, exam halls.... they're either freezing or boiling, nowhere in between, which really pees me off. And what's with spending half an hour handing papers out and leaving the hall row by row??? yer, exams suck, and what do u get out of them? maybe a certificate if ur lucky!!! where's the point? If anyone can come up with a good point about exams, except 4 missing lessons, i'd like to know about it!!! Anyway, g2g walk dog and revise like hell now!

� Jo

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12th May 2002

Hello, and welcome to my brand new website! hee hee!
I know, it sucks ass, but i'm sure it'll improve! With the assistance of Brownie and Jeanie... if they're willing to help... i'm positive i can get the hang on this html crap! :) Urgh, we got exams at school all the next two weeks, which kinda sucks, but at least we dont have lessons. Gonna make some pages 2 add on tomorrow!

� Jo

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