| ONCE FOR XMAS I GOT A REALLY COOL ASS PAIR OF WAFFLE STOMPERS.AND I WENT TO MY GIRLFRIENDS HOUSE TO SHOW HER AND WE WERE OUTSIDE ACROSS THE STREET IN A FIELD, WHEN NEXT THING I KNEW I SUNK DOWN IN THE MUD WITH BOTH FEET, COVERING MY NEW BAD ASS SHOES COMPLETELY WITH MUD...I REMEMBER THAT |
| I REMEMBER ONCE MY DAD MAKING ME WEED THE FLOWER BED. WELL A BEAD OF SWEAT RAN DOWN MY FACE, AND I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE. |
| ANOTHER TIME ON A FAMILY VACATION i WAS INTO BLOWING BUBBLES, WITH BUBBLE GUM. WELL I HAD BUBBLE GUM STUCK ALL OVER MY FACE AND WE HAD TO DRIVE ALL THE WAY BACK HOME HALF WAY THROUGH OUR VACATION TO GET SOME CRAP TO GET IT OFF MY FACE. |
| ONCE ME AND MY COUSINS WERE OUTSIDE AT NIGHT AND WE TIED A STRING ACROSS THE STREET TO WATCH CARS DRIVE THROUGH IT, WELL...ONE CAR SAW IT AND THOUGHT IT WAS SOMETHING ELSE APPARENTLY CUZ HE SLAMMED ON HIS BRAKES AND HIS TIRES SQUEELED AND HE ALMOST WRECKED. WELL WE ALL TOOK OFF RUNNING TO THE FIELD BEHIND OUR HOUSE AND HID LAYING DOWN IN A LITTLE DITCH. NEEDLESS TO SAY DAD FOUND US AND WE ALL GOT IN TROUBLE. |
| I REMEMBER ONCE MY DAD FREAKING OUT ON MY COUSIN DAVID CUZ HE SAID FART. WE WERE NOT ALLOWED TO SAY FART OR BUTT OR NIGGER OR CRAP. WE SAID INSTEAD ..POP(FART) AND BUNZER(BUTT) AND RUGHEAD(NIGGER)AND POOP(CRAP) |
| ONE OF MY CHORES GROWING UP WAS MAKING MY MOM AND DAD'S BED..NOW IS THAT UNFAIR OR WHAT? TO THIS DAY I VERY RARELY MAKE MY BED. MAKES YOU WONDER HUH? |
| my older brother Tom ONCE gave my moms wedding ring to a girl down the street. I saw it on her hand. and told tom to get it from her...I dont know what he was thinking...but he told my dad what he did. I think that was the longest whippen he ever got..I just remember that...my dad spanked his ass forever, and like one of my dads buddies were visiting too..weird huh?...hhee heee no its stupid..oh well |
| Tom also ran over a little kids leg once and broke it..he came home and sat in the living room like an hour before finally gaining the courage to tell my dad. |
| ONCE ME AND MY GIRLFIEND LAVETTA (WEIRD NAME HUH) WERE ACROSS THE STREET IN THE "FORBIDDEN" FIELD...WHEN HERE COMES A MOTORCYCLE DOWN THE TRAIL...WELL LAVETTA WASNT TO BRITE CUZ SHE JUST STOOD THERE, AND THE DAMN GUY RAN RIGHT INTO HER. HE ASKED IF SHE WAS OK..SHE WAS MORE SCARED ABOUT GETTING CAUGHT IN THE FIELD..SHE SAID YES..DUDE TAKES OFF AND SHE HOBBLES BACK TO HER HOUSE..ENDED UP SHE HAD BROKE HER ARM AND SHE PROCEDED TO MAKE UP A BIGGO STOREY ABOUT WHERE SHE WAS AND HOW IT HAPPENED...THE REST IS FOGGY. BUT WHAT A TRIP HUH? |
| SPEAKING OF TOM....I REMEMBER MY DAD HAD GOT US EACH A BABY CALF TO RAISE. WELL ONE DAY MY DAD WALKS OUT BACK AND LO AND BEHOLD THERES TOMMY WITH HIS PEE PEE IN THE CALVES MOUTH. HE LOOKS AT MY DAD AND SAYS,"WHATS A BOY TO DO?" POOR LITTLE BLACKIE BLOATED UP AND DIED A WEEK LATER. |
| I'VE NEVER HEARD MY MOM FART |
| playing truth or dare with my friends tony and tommy from down the street. they dared me to lay on the ground and hump it with my hips..which I did. only I didnt realize what I had done until years later. |
| going to the beauty shop with my mom every week was so boring..."berg" used to let me sit at her desk while mom got her hair done. well I came across some close up and personal crotch shots, actually I wasnt sure what I was looking at....I was like..what r these pics of?...I was shuffled outside real quick. |
| In 6th grade ..I wrote, "FUCK ROBIN K", on a test paper and turned it in. Teacher made me take it home and have my parents sign it. (Now remember I wasnt even allowed to say fart, or butt, or crap) That had to be the worst walk home in my life. |
| In third grade I cut out a donkey and did such a good job..Mrs anderson put my name under it cut out by: SHELLY |
| I remember once ..I was in 4th grade,,playing 4 square...and the ball went out, and I went after it. And the teacher said .."what a good sport, that your out ..but happily went and got the ball" ..hmmm I was thinking, 'what? im out?" inside I wanted to cry, but she was so proud! So I just kept quite. |
| cherry_pauper (12:10:58 PM): I kicked craig trekeme's ass for bringing cauliflower to school for snack timefreakyniece (12:11:22 PM): well he deserved it freakyniece (12:11:28 PM): I mean...HELLO? cherry_pauper (12:11:32 PM): I couldn't eat the shit, so the teacher kept me after class cherry_pauper (12:11:39 PM): I flushed it freakyniece (12:11:43 PM): like wheres the snack pack cherry_pauper (12:11:53 PM): then I went to the babysitter's and beat him down freakyniece (12:12:00 PM): u bully cherry_pauper (12:12:08 PM): not really cherry_pauper (12:12:15 PM): this kid begged for it cherry_pauper (12:12:21 PM): that was kindergarten freakyniece (12:12:24 PM): I know the type freakyniece (12:12:29 PM): little bastards cherry_pauper (12:12:31 PM): I was still kicking his ass in third grade |
| freakyniece (10:30:30 PM): once my mom bought me some clothes for my BD..omg ..DORK..big time..I was like..WAAA??? Ill never wear these freakyniece (10:30:58 PM): she got all mad freakyniece (10:31:39 PM): said...u wont even try em on freakyniece (10:31:52 PM): then she said//GO TRY EM ON freakyniece (10:32:17 PM): all I ever wore were big bell levi's freakyniece (10:32:36 PM): I had every color cord they ever made freakyniece (10:33:17 PM): the pants she bought me were like..elastic waist,,light cotten in aqua blue freakyniece (10:33:33 PM): no bell freakyniece (10:33:52 PM): like.."u roll em up a little at the bottem" freakyniece (10:34:01 PM): and wear em with a sandle freakyniece (10:34:17 PM): I was sooo outta my element |
| webula (9:52:56 PM): its like today webula (9:53:03 PM): when he pulled up freakyniece (9:53:23 PM): honked the horn freakyniece (9:53:25 PM): ?? webula (9:53:26 PM): he got out of his car and yelled dont ever park your car like that freakyniece (9:53:32 PM): hahahhahaha freakyniece (9:53:44 PM): ok mr cop webula (9:53:46 PM): not once but like 3 maybe 4 times webula (9:53:53 PM): like a cop yeah webula (9:53:55 PM): i mean webula (9:53:59 PM): yelled freakyniece (9:54:05 PM): I HEARD YOU\ webula (9:54:08 PM): he was like youll get a ticket freakyniece (9:54:15 PM): hahahhahahah webula (9:54:21 PM): he had allready seen it on there webula (9:54:37 PM): because i like pulled it off after he said thar webula (9:54:39 PM): that webula (9:54:49 PM): and he was like you allready got one right freakyniece (9:54:53 PM): did he ask you..why did you park like that webula (9:55:07 PM): like a half hour later webula (9:55:13 PM): the point is webula (9:55:25 PM): he fucking yelled at me in public freakyniece (9:55:26 PM): I hate that...shit thats already done and over webula (9:55:34 PM): no shit freakyniece (9:55:34 PM): hahahahahah webula (9:55:43 PM): motherfucker webula (9:56:00 PM): i respect him enuff to not kick his ass in public freakyniece (9:56:02 PM): like you didnt want a ride after that webula (9:56:12 PM): you think he would return the favor freakyniece (9:56:29 PM): did you tell him..dont yell man freakyniece (9:56:41 PM): Id be all...shhhhhhhhh freakyniece (9:56:43 PM): damn freakyniece (9:57:35 PM): Ive never had my dad yell at me in public webula (9:57:44 PM): your lucky webula (9:57:58 PM): he wasnt close enuff to shhhhh freakyniece (9:58:04 PM): well..but then Id never call my dad |
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| STORIES FROM WHEN I WAS A KID |
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