"No, you morons." You blink with a blinding grin. "Legolas isn't Sam's honey. It's obviously....well..." Simper a bit, batting your eyelashes and clasping your hands under your chin, "ME!!!!"

You leap across the space between you and topple over Sam. He sputters and starts to sob pathetically as you sit in his lap and say, "How 'bout those vegetables?" and waggle your eyebrows suggestively. Gimli restrains Frodo with his axe. Frodo begins frothing at the mouth and his eyes twitch. Presumably at you, or where that axe is placed, we don't know. While Sam cries and tries to lunge away with you sitting on his legs and demanding jewlery, you loose your temper and summon the vast power of PERSUASION!!! And who should answer your call but-