In my sorrow I am sinking
Twisting through the waves of guilt
Fear plaguing each movement
Anger leading the way
I see a glorious tower ahead
Above the door is an engraving
"Leave here your burdens
And forsake the world forevermore
Or leave at once and never change
Always remain the same without reason"
It beckons me closer
And yet I can't move
It symbols strength
And yet I am weak
I cannot achieve on my own
And by myself is the way I am
I live in solitude
With my own misery and guilt
On the stoop I collapse
Begging for entrance
But dragging myself away
I face a war unlike any other
The war against my mind
My heart yearns for more
But my soul drags me away
Why can I not guide myself?
Each day is the same
I see the meaning
But I can't grasp it
It slips through my fingers once again
And again I am lost in the visions of tomorrow
Fighting for control of my own being
I'm losing this battle
Sadness takes it's share
And leaves me in tears
Away from my tower of truth I cannot bear it
Inside I feel content
But sometimes I can't get inside
I fight myself to open the door
And yet I push myself back away from it
The scars are not visible to normal men
Only to me
To remind me
To plague me ever more
And remind me always of who I am
And who I no longer wish to be
The divine light that fills the tower is like a warm bath
Cleansing me of my evil energies
And leaving me feeling new
Making my life feel worthwhile
And yet, I spend so much time fighting to get into the door
Why can't I just break the grip of myself and go inside?
Why won't I let me?
