I'm sorry if I am any form of an inconvenience to you... But, I was looking at my friend (Rick's) website today and came across your little guestbook entry, took a random interest and followed your homepage link. I found this thingy there and thought that it would be relatively amusing to fill it out and send it to someone I barely know (you).
Yes! You should know me! I would be that rather irrelevant thing that used to sit next to Rick in Maths (D?) last year. Yeah, Mr. Cibich's class... Anyhow... I spend a lot of time at home (when not fart arsing around with the fucking peer-peer network at Tafe - oh how I hate old, shotty Laser printers) doing abso-fucking-lutely nothing. So, I am using you as a relative ventage of sheer boredom. I'm sorry if that seems a little harsh, but I don't really know you.
I mean... It's not that I don't like you... I don't know you well enough to not like you. But, other than that, I just feel as if... Yeah... I dunno... Just slap me if ever you see me again. It'll be amusing for the bystanders!
Anyway, I guess I'll fill out this pointless survey and send it to you, eh?
Oh, and I apologise for anything that offends you in there... I'm not trying to offend you... I just thought it would be funny to have a little opinion on most things that I filled out...
Have a good day, Ms. Penny,
-- Tristan.
Hey Tristan..I've put this on my site I hope you don't mind, if you do, I'll take it off again. Thank-you for blasting my unknown abuser on my forum... but I must warn you as my friend Donni love hacking into my site and adding her own little comments, you'll probably get some comments on this cause she's pretty harsh... ok there's you bit:) PS. Oh yeah I might have comments too:) just abuse me in a email if you don't like them and I'll delete them...
NAME: Tristan... Just Tristan...(just Jack...)
D.O.B: This is the same day as when I was born, isn't it? Well... That would be the third of March in the year nineteen-eighty six
BIRTHPLACE: That little shit hole... Yeah, the one called Cowell. (donnas comment- what... your house?)
NICKNAME(S): Tris, TJ... Shit-for-brains... Fucked if I know...(the later...)
**BEST** FRIEND: I dunno? The guy from down the road? Neh, Stephen Brewster. Yeah, the other dude that signed Rick's guestbook.
OTHER BEST FRIENDS: So... I'm supposed to have a **BEST** friend as well as other BEST friends? If you say so: Nic Dubrowsky, Brenden Kendell, Paula and Sam Deery (yeah... Those two fit in there) and that strange Rick guy...
WORST ENEMY: Peter fucking Coleman. He's a fucking stupid, oafish, freaky fucking moron. I mean, what the fuck does he think is so great about himself? What the fuck is his problem? He must be some kind of fucking schitzophrenic... Everything about him just speaks, "Everybody! Kick my arse!" simply because he's a little self-righteous bitch, that speaks his fucking mind too often. Nobody cares about his fucking opinion... And oh how I dread the day that his fucking opinion will be considered in ELECTIONS! (donnas comment- im getting a vibe you dont like him)
DO YOU HAVE PETS?: Yes... I have a dog named Laddie (if you want to know, he's a red-heeler kelpie cross) and my kitty Snowy.
IF SO, WHAT ARE THEY?: I just said that? Why do people include this question afterwards? Chances are, someone will automatically answer it in the "do you have pets?" part. As, for a blantant example, I have.
AND WHAT HAVE YOU CALLED THEM/IT? Excuse my upcoming language... I ALREADY FUCKING ANSWERED THIS!
DREAM PLACE TO LIVE: Anywhere where that fat fucking freak known as my 'father' isn't... Cummins sounds good... *insert smirk at Jess (yeah, I'm a loser... But not a complete loser! I have a girlfriend!)*(donnas comment- even scientists can't figure out why)
FAVOURITE FOOD: Anything that is remotely related to pasta. (smaLL UNDERGROUND WORMS)
WHO'S YOUR CRUSH? Jessica Alyce Sawyer.
ARE YOU WITH THEM? Yes, I am. So fucking fner!
IF SO, HAVE YOU KISSED THEM? Aduh! That's a stupid question to ask... You know, its actually quite imposing and a pretty blatant disregard for one's own privacy. But, I'll answer it anyway. Yes.
IF YOU HAVEN'T, DO YOU WANT TO? ...
DO YOU BELIEVE IN...
- HEAVEN / HELL? No... I am a Satanist, not a Christian... Which is a common misconception. Do some research: http://www.maledicta.com/library/raven.html
- GHOSTS? To an extent, yes.
- GOD / THE DEVIL? No... Once again, I state that I am a Satanist and not a Christian. Check that page I told you to look at again: http://www.maledicta.com/library/raven.html
- LOVE? Yes.
- LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? It's a possibility. I mean, there is every chance that you'll fall completely head over heels for someone the moment you lay eyes on them.
- TRUE HATRED? Refer to 'Worst enemy' and there's your answer. (donnas comment- by the way you spoke about peter i would've said you were the best of friends)
- VENGEANCE? Yeap. Vengeance is a literal requirement for someone not to bottle up anger. If you don't seek vengeance upon the person that deserves it, you may end up taking it out on your friends and family who actually deserve your love and kindness.
- REINCARNATION? It's a possibility. Considering that 'life', in itself, is just another form of energy, and as Albert Einstein said in his theory of relativity, "Energy can not be destroyed, nor can it be created. It can only be changed." (donnas comment- blah blah blah blah blah)
- YETI? Oooh... Yeah... A big scary snow thingy... Fuck off.(donnas comment-look in the mirror)
- LOCH NESS? Oooh... Yeah... A big scary water snake thingy... Repeat above.
- ALIENS? Have you ever watched the X-Files? No? Well do it. They have some cool arguments.
ARE YOU A RELIGIOUS PERSON? Well, as far as Satanism goes it's more of a beleif system rather than a religion. You see, a religion suggests far too many rules, and too much of a conformist method of exisiting. Herd-conformity (refer: http://www.maledicta.com/library/cossins.htm) is something that Satanists beleive against.
ON A 'DESERVE TO LIVE' SCALE OF 1 TO 10, RATE YOURSELF: At the moment? About 7... Which is a change from my usual -584... Considering, I'm no longer a depressive fucking moron. Thank you Jessie! (donnas comment- more like -7)
FAVOURITE (NON ALCOHOLIC) BEVERAGE? Coke! Coke is the drink of gods!(donnas comment- i thought u were a satinist)
FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE? Anything that does not contain a form of hard liquer (scotch, burborn, etc), as my stomach generally tends to expell such things. Other than that, I fucking love all alcohol! l 1... Sorry... Is it just me, or do the little 'l' and the number '1' look identical? For fuck sake, what is this fucking world coming to...
ADDICTIONS? Music... Music is my number one addiction... Shortly following that is nicotine (smoking), and caffiene (a terminal need to drink coffee)... I'm your typical fucking IT techie! Well... At least I will be when I finish Tafe... At the moment, I'm your typical fucking IT techie in training... But, that's irrelevant. (donnas comment- more like computer geek)
FAVOURITE MUSICAL ARTIST(S)? David Draiman (lead vocalist from Disturbed), Tobias Sammet (lead vocalist from Edguy, and the writer of Avantasia), Jens Ludwig (lead guitarist from Edguy and soloist for Avantasia), Marilyn Manson, Jonathon Davis and Danni Filth (all just plain fucking legends). (Donna's comment- what no hi-5!!!!)
FAVOURITE VISUAL ARTIST? Vincent VanGogh... He cut his ear off and sent it to his girlfriend... Although, I'm not sure I spelled his last name correctly... Fuck it! (donnas comment- i'd cut my ears off too if i had to listen to u)
FAVOURITE ACTOR? Sean Connary. Yes, he is an old fogey, but he was the best James Bond to ever live. He is, just plain, a fucking legend.(donnas comment- who like all legends, is so close to death it's scary)
FAVOURITE PLAYWRITE / DIRECTOR? Tobias Sammet - Yes, Avantasia (the Metal Operah) was originally a stage play.
FAVOURITE MOVIE? Queen Of The Damned - it is a fucking awesome movie with fucking awesome music.
FAVOURITE SCENT? What the fuck kind of question is this? Do I look like I go around sniffing everything and anything? I don't fucking know what my favourite scent is, so don't fucking ask, ok! (donnas comment- by the looks of you yours is shit)
FAVOURITE TASTE? Orange Chuppa-chup. Nothing beats them! (Donna's comment- I've never tried to bash them up)
FAVOURITE MONTH? Errr... What the fuck?
YOUR IDOL(S)? David Draiman and Jens Ludwig (obviously, because I play guitar and wish that I had half the fucking talent that this overall legend has!)
LEAST FAVOURITE (NON ALCOHOLIC) BEVERAGE? Tea... Tea is the worst fucking drink ever invented by anyone. Poms must have a naturally defected taste for anything 'decent'. To support my argument, black pudding. What the fuck is with eating something made from sheep's blood? That's just plain gross in my opinion... As for tea... Well, tea tastes just as I would imagine cat piss to taste! (donnas comment- of course you know what cats piss tastes like)
LEAST FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE? Woodstocks... The last time I drank them I spent the entire night throwing my fucking guts up... Then for about a week afterwards I felt like the collective sense of shit, from every other poor bastard on the face of the planet. (donnas comment- don't you always look like that)
LEAST FAVOURITE MUSICAL ARTIST(S)? 5IVE... ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHH! Need I say more?
LEAST FAVOURITE VISUAL ARTIST? Madonna... I know she's not a visial artist... But, she's and old fogey trying to be 20 again... I mean, could you imagine your mother trying to do the same thing? *shudder* Now that's a scary thought...(donnas comment- do u have a mother?)
LEAST FAVOURITE ACTOR? I dunno... I like most actors...
LEAST FAVOURITE MOVIE? Village Of The Damned. What a fucking pathetic depeictation of alien children... Fukken grr...
LEAST FAVOURITE SCENT? Dog shit, for obvious reasons.(Donna's comment- more like favourite)
LEAST FAVOURITE TASTE? Burborn vomit... It's just so horrible...
LEAST FAVOURITE MONTH? Every month is the fucking same? What the fuck?
MOST PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN? I know I already mentioned this illiterate waste of fucking space, but I'm going to again... As am I going to say some more harsh shit about the fucking moron, but need I do anything less? Peter fucking Coleman. The hypocritical, self-serving bastard. He's a fucking anally retentive fuck. He lives out his entire existence with a gay fucking hair cut, trying to better me at every turn. He expects himself to know more about computers than me in every fucking sense, and I think that's just plain fucking pathetic. I mean, I admit, he knows a lot more about electronics than me... But, I say now to him, WHO'S THE ONE DOING CERTIFICATE FUCKING TWO INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY AT TAFE?! WHO'S THE ONE THAT CAN DO C PROGRAMMING LIKE IT'S THE BACK OF HIS FUCKING HAND?! WHO SPENDS MOST OF HIS TIME -LEARNING- ABOUT WHAT COMPUTERS FUCKING DO AND WHY THEY DO THEM RATHER THAN BEING A COMPLETE FUCKING RETARD?! Those sentiments passed, Peter Coleman is the most pathetic excuse for a human.
WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR WORST ENEMY TO DIE? Yes. At least then it rids me of his incompitent bullshit and bike riding gear in my house (do you know how fucking scary it is to see Coleman in skin tight spandex bullshit? It's fucking... GRAH!)
FEARS? I know this will sound pathetic, but losing Jess... I fucking love her to bits and bits and bits...
WORST NIGHTMARE? That Peter Coleman fuckwit is the opitomy of my worst nightmare. His homosexual fucking nature (now, don't think that I have anything against gays... My best friend is).
ARE YOU A VIRGIN? Now, this is just plain getting to the point of being too personal. I mean, "are you a virgin?"... Do you know how sick I am of hearing people online ask me that one fucking question? Obviously not. Yes, I am a fucking virgin. Get over it! (donnas comment- no wonder)
HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN ONE OF YOUR BONES? My collar bone, my jaw, a toe and several knuckles.
HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN SOMEBODY ELSE'S BONES? Not that I'm aware of, no.
WHAT'S THE WORST YOU'VE EVER DONE TO SOMEBODY? Sent them down crying in a single hit (I know for someone of my build, that's rather unbelievable, but ask Rick about what happened to Peter Shanley when he pissed me off too much).
WHAT'S THE BEST THING YOU'VE EVER DONE FOR SOMEBODY? I don't know? I consider this to be a question that you should ask other people about me. This sort of thing should be built on my peer's ideas of what I've done for people, not my own.(donnas comment- left them alone)
FAVOURITE SONG(S)? "Forsaken" by, David Draiman
FAVOURITE ALBUM(S)? Disturbed "The Sickness" and "Believe" as well as Avantasia's "the Metal Opera, pt 1 and 2"
EVER CHEATED ON SOMEBODY? Hell - fucking - no! I wouldn't even fucking consider it! (donnas comment- he's never had the chance)
EVER BEEN CHEATED ON? Yeah. But, fortunately enough, it was a pathetic, deluded little internet relationship.
EVER USED SOMEBODY? Guilty as charged.
EVER BEEN USED? Once more to the point of a pathetic, deluded little internet relationship.
EVER WANTED TO LEAVE SOMEBODY BUT COULDN'T? Newp. I don't generally like breaking up with people.
EVER ATTACKED...
- AN OLD GRANNY? lmao! No.
- A FELLOW STUDENT? Yeap. (Refer: the bit about Peter Shanley)
- YOUR OWN KIN? On many many occasions.
- YOU�RE BEST FRIEND? Not seriously.
- YOUR LOVER? FUCK NO! AND I NEVER WOULD!
- YOUR ENEMIES? Everytime I get the chance!
- AN ANIMAL? No, that would just be mean.
- YOURSELF? Scars to prove it.
- A RANDOM PERSON? Nope.
ARE YOU A VIOLENT PERSON? I don't consider myself to be.
DO OTHERS CONSIDER YOU TO BE LETHAL? I'm a fucking twig! If someone considered me to be even a mild threat, let alone 'dangerous' or 'lethal', then they're seriously fucking deluded.
HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED KILLING SOMEONE? Yep... A lot of times.
HAVE YOU EVER DONE ANYTHING JUST FOR THE IMAGE? Refer to the part about herd conformity... To do something for an 'image' goes against everything that I believe in... Besides, I've never cared about my image in the past, why start now?
HAVE YOU EVER BOUGHT SOMETHING NICE FOR SOMEONE ELSE? Not really... Generally I'm a broke fucking loser... And at the moment, I'm an extremely broke fucking loser (thanks to Tafe payments!)
DID IT COST AS MUCH AS WHAT YOU USUALLY BUY FOR YOURSELF? I 'usually' by myself a packet of smokes... And that's it.
HAVE YOU EVER FAKED A FIRE CALL? No? But my smoke alarm has.
WHAT ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES ARE YOU INTO? Weed, weed and only weed... Well... Alcohol too, but that's only 'cuz I'm 17.
HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY? Occasionally... But never large amounts.
HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN ITEMS FROM A SHOP? Yep.
HAVE YOU EVER 'BORROWED' SOMETHING THEN RETURNED IT? Nope... If I have intent of taking it, I keep it.
HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN FROM YOUR FRIENDS? Well... I stole Coleman's guitar tuner from him when I was still his 'friend'.
HAVE YOU EVER HAD AN ENCOUNTER WITH THE POLICE? Yeah, and it was fucking funny. You see, we had a plastic (not to mention broken) BB gun... And the fuck head across the road saw us with it, so he called the Police, saying we had a real gun. We went to sleep that night, woke up the morning after and were about to get into Paula's car, when we noticed two cop cars sitting down the road, two around the corners and two that had just pulled up near us. Some of the cops were even wearing kevlar vests (it's like the cops here jump at the thought of action... They really must be sick of fucking drug busts and the like). Anyway, two cops stepped out of one car and Nic had his arm half beleath his jacket carrying 'something'... One of the cops grabbed his gun and was like, "What's that under your jacket?!"... Nic, looking strangely at them, removed a pair of thongs... After that they checked out the BB gun, realised it was broken and left... Still a funny situation.
DO YOU RESPECT THE POLICE FORCE? Most of the time.
DO YOU RESPECT YOUR FRIENDS? All of the time.
DO YOU RESPECT YOUR FAMILY? Everyone except for my fucking father.
DO YOU RESPECT YOURSELF? Occasionally.
DO YOU RESPECT OTHER RELIGIONS YOU DON'T FOLLOW? I respect the people and their rights to believe in whatever the fuck they want to, but not the religion itself.
DO YOU RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS? Yeap... Unless I fucking hate them.
DO YOU RESPECT YOUR ENEMIES? Newp, I merely express hatred toward them.
DO YOU RESPECT LIFE IN GENERAL? Ow... My cigarette butt just stuck to my finger and burned... Anyway: sometimes.
WHAT ARE YOUR BAD HABITS? Sex with inanimate objects... lol... Ignore that, that was a sad attempt at a bad joke... Errmmm... Smoking? Both weed and cigarettes?
WHAT ARE YOUR GOOD HABITS? I don't fucking know?
DO YOU SWEAR OFTEN? Errrmmm.... Look through this entire fucking Email and make your own damned mind up.
WHAT DO MOST OTHER PEOPLE SAY ABOUT YOU? Generally not nice things, I assume.
HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO TURN BACK TIME? Yes, but I don't now.
HAVE YOU EVER ABUSED YOUR RIGHT TO HAVE SECOND CHANCES? Yep. But, I have come to learn from mistakes, rather than make them again.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF COMPUTER LITERATE? And I'm doing Certificate 2 in IT... Why?
WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF EXCEPTIONAL AT? Mostly computer related stuff... Like, C/C++ programming... HTML encoding... Setting up of networks... And so forth.
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE A FUNNY PERSON? Not really... I think I have a rather lame sense of humour, mostly comprised of swearing and stupid opinions.
DO OTHER PEOPLE THINK YOU ARE A FUNNY PERSON? I dunno? Why don't you ask 'them'?
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON? Occasionally. There are times when I'm a complete and utter bullshit dribbling fuck wit... Then there are times when I'm an absolute arse hole... Then there's times when I comsider myself to be a decent human being.
DO OTHER PEOPLE THINK YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON? Once more... Ask them, not me.
WHO IS THE BEST PERSON YOU KNOW? Stephen and Jess sit on par.
DO YOU TAKE MEDICINE FOR ANYTHING? Nope.
DO YOU HAVE ANY ILLNESSES? Other than suffering from occasional legitimate arseholeism, no.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Do I look like the kind of person that counts how long it's been? Or keep track? Noooooooooo!
HAVE YOU EVER HAD AN INTERNET RELATIONSHIP? Yes I have...
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT INTERNET RELATIONSHIPS? I hate them! Fukken grr!
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY? I'm not homosexual, but I don't hate it.
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT BISEXUALITY? Same as homosexuality.
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT TRANSVESTITES? God they fucking SCARE me.
WHAT IS THE FIRST SINGLE WORD THAT COMES TO YOUR MIND WHEN YOU SEE THE FOLLOWING WORDS:
- BLACK? White
- SNAKE? Bite
- CRICKET? Bat (lame?)
- NOODLES? Chicken
- COMPUTER? Hell
- POODLE? Window
- NINJA? Cat (ask Stephen, lol)
- VIDEO? Porn (a typical male answer)
- WATER? Squid
- STICKS? Stone
- JIGGLE? Stop (your fucking jiggling... It's making me feel ill...)
- MONKEY? Spank
- BABY? Rick (and eating)
- BOWLING? Balls
- APPLE? Pie (Mmmmmmmmmmm...)
- BOOKS? Tolkien (Refer: http://shub-niggurath.infernus.net/rants/two_towers.html)
- SEX? Video (don't ask... "don't say"... Shut up Stephen! This is MY quiz!)
- TOES? Digit
- MASSAGE? Chicken
WHAT IS YOUR PERSONAL VIEW OF...
- THE MEANING OF LIFE? 62 (Refer: Hitchiker's Guide To The Galaxy)
- MUSIC TODAY? Most of it is teeny bopper shit.
- TECHNOLOGY? Slowly advancing... Unless it's the computer... Computers are fast advancing!
- DRUGS? Nothing heavier than weed, I say.
- ANIMAL RIGHTS? I dunno?
- WORLD PEACE? It's an impossibilty so long as someone has a different idea to the guy standing next to him.
- THE LAW? Should be enforced, rather than dictated.
