"Unbreakable"

Imagine you're 11 years old and you discover that your dad is……..

Naw, I don't wanna ruin it for you. (No, he's not a hermaphrodite or a nymphomaniac-coke connection that owns a Ferrari dealership!)

Remember "The Sixth Sense"?

It was written, directed and produced by a fairly new dude, M. Night Shyamalan.

Well, during that film shoot, he wrote a new script with his 6th star in mind, Bruce Willis, and titled it "Unbreakable".

Why give you the background?

Because, after viewing this film, its important to know that the reason this film was even made was due to the success of "Sense". I remember being so affected by "Sense" that I couldn't wait for Shyamalan's follow up film.

I just wish someone had told me the dominating character would be Gumby on a BAAAAAD hair day.

Since Shyamalan clearly got a little too ambitious w/ this film and created confusion with the story, I'll just point out a few things that struck me.

I guess I should have considered the red flag I was given by the words written at the beginning…..about comic books. What the fluck did comic books have to do w/ this film? That threw me for a loop. Yes, I later figured it out, but jesus poopin' christ.

Let me try to sum this up w/o giving away anything…though I don't think I could since I'm still confused.

We have Bruce. He's a security guard in his early forties, maybe. He miraculously survives a train wreck that manages to kill everyone on board but him. In fact, he doesn't even have a scratch. Soon after, he receives an anonymous note with the words "How many bones have you broken in your life?"

Ok, so we have a suspenseful disaster that our hero survives, then a mysterious note he receives. Cool. My kinda filmage. Wonder where it goes from here.

Enter Mr. "Pulp(Jules)Fiction", Mr. Shaft, Mr. Cool himself….Samuel L Jackson.

Uh……and now Mr. Gumby w/ hair issues (serious, ya gotta see it).

Anyway, Mr. Jackson is an art dealer with some serious physical therapy bills. Ya see, he was born with an ailment that makes his bones extra weak, so he breaks them all the time, hence his nickname "Mr. Glass". Turns out that Glass gave Brucey the note and they meet, and Glass tells him his theory on why Bruceness survived the wreck. Well, the theory is a bit far fetched, so Brucage blows him off and goes on with his life, despite the fact that he suddenly discovers he is able to see the past, make accurate predictions and bench press more than any man alive.

Oh, and he (we) also realizes that he has NEVER gotten sick in his life, has survived some crazy shit and never broken a bone. Bare in mind that he's now realizing this at age 40+…….hmmmmm……..guess it was in the script.

Am I confusing you yet?

No?

I'll try harder.

Along with being 'unbreakable', Brucely also has problems with his marriage, a son who tries to shoot him to prove something, and Bad Hair Gumby as a best friend.

So, what does any of this have to do with the film/story?

Well, ya gotta watch it, and if you do, please TELL ME.

Ok, yes, I did figure it all out (ending credits help wonderfully), but this film was so choppy and so all over the place. The direction was way too presumptuous, Jackson's character was far too melodramatic while Bruce was far too mellow.

And the ending……..remember the ending of "Sense"?

Remember how surprising that was? The whole film led us to it and floored us.

As for "U-Bable", they tried way too hard for the same result, and there is nothing surprising about it. If anything, you may think to yourself "Oh, that's nice….so?"

My Grade: C+

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