A R C H I V E S
2000 to 2001

go.

LOSER (Lyrics by Arnold) (Music by Roberts, Arnold & Harrell)

Breathe in right away, nothing seems to fill this place I need this every time, take your lies get off my case Some day I will find, a love that flows Through me like this This will fall away, this will fall away

You�re getting closer, to pushing me Off of life�s little edge Cause I�m a loser and sooner or later You know I�ll be dead You�re getting closer, you�re holding the rope, i'm taking the fall Cause I�m a loser, I�m a loser, yeah

This is getting old, I can�t break these Chains that I hold My body�s growing cold, there�s nothin Left of this mind or my soul Addiction needs a pacifier, the buzz of This poison is taking me higher This will fall away, this will fall away

You�re getting closer, to pushing me Off of life�s little edge Cause I�m a loser and sooner or later You know I�ll be dead You�re getting closer, you�re holding the rope and I�m taking the fall Cause I�m a loser

You�re getting closer, to pushing me Off of life�s little edge Cause I�m a loser and sooner or later You know I�ll be dead You�re getting closer, you�re holding the rope and I�m taking the fall Cause I�m a loser



i just reread these lyrics as i finished typing and it took me a minute because i totally understand the song now. i've read the lyrics before and i was just noting the other day how i didn't understand the song. i understand it on a God-level now. i am a loser for Him. there's nothing i should want more than to get pushed off 'life's little edge' and fly out of my comfort zone ('you're holding the rope, i'm taking the fall') and 'sooner or later you know i'll be dead'--both spiritually and physically. spiritually dead to sin. oh my...how awesome is that. in my dream, it was like i had been writing this story about my fights with the enemy, kinda like paul did in the bible, and i was reading it outloud in the dream. in it, the words were just flowing and i was mentally aware of what i was doing and that i was dreaming. that was quite coool. it's awesome how God does stuff like this. i've been in a really rough place lately, and it was cool to get away from it for a week with my good friend Keith. i got exposed to life in the south for 6 days...*yikes*. ; ) i had an awesome time, though. i think God knew i needed some real good laughs...and laugh i did. so much my stomach got sore. teehee. but this dream is really signifigant to me in so many ways....and it'd take forever to get into all of it here, but just take my word for it. take this entry for what God speaks to you about. God knows what He's doing. and He watches our every move. He knows. He really knows.



March 24, 2001.

it is snowing. i waited on some older lady who's birthday was today. one of my friends is about to have a baby--her due date is tomorrow. it's march. and it's still snowing. how wacky is that.

i have had such an interesting week. not to mention an interesting month. it has flown by, though. i just shake my head in amazement at the many opportunities i've had to share Jesus with people. God is starting something. and i don't want to get in the way to stop it. i could go into countless details, but frankly i'm so wiped out from my day at work that i can't right now. but i thought i'd give ya'll an update anyways. i'm leaving my last entry on this page because i think it's so awesome. it was totally a Holy Spirit inspired moment and i wrote the poem below in about 5 minutes. try it sometime. sit at your computer or get a piece of paper and just pour your heart out to Jesus. it's amazing how He speaks through that. He's one cool dude.

oh yeah! one more thing. (how could i forget?) i'm going to see my best buddy Keith in 2 days! it's been a long wait and i still can't believe it. i haven't been down south in about 9 years. it should be fun...i just hope i don't come back speaking like them southerners. haha! peace out.

-meg






February 21, 2001.

i am consumed with one passion. one holy purpose. but sometimes i feel i can't fight and that all my dreams are like dust. they're so delicate that the slightest brush of doubt or unbelief and they've vanished. at the same time i can't let go. i can't let go of His hand. because it's the only place on this earth where i feel safe. right now, nothing else gives me peace. and right now, as i write this, i don't feel peace. so here i am. and here i'll stay till i find that secret place where it's only me and Him. i know i'm here to be used by Him. i know i'm here to spread His glory and His light. but i'm learning how hard it is when i'm out on that battlefield all by myself with just a sling and 5 stones. the giants loom over me with a sense of oppression and doubt. yet i choose to trust Him. i choose to know that He is my way out. and He is my strength and my song. so i will sing at the top of my lungs and shout it out across the rooftops, the mountains, and the valleys that He is the ruler of this earth and there is nothing worthy of my praise and of my life, except Him. Jesus Christ, the lover of my soul.

swept away, i am carried by your waves
of love, with passionate words i cry
to You, with outstretched arms i fly with
You
are the rock on which i stand
without it i'm just sinking sand
so lover come and give me peace of mind
with it i'll climb high
up to that mountain where You sing over me
sing sweet Lover, a soft melody
i know you see and watch my every move
your presence is strong yet i can't prove
how vast is the ocean
it runs so deep
sing sweet Jesus, a soft melody
cuz you alone can set me free. *Copyright mlp 2/21/01*

February 13, 2001

this past weekend, we took ruth (the paraguayan girl who's been living with us for the past 6 months), to rhode island. we've got some connections there with a big church with a lot of different possibilities for her. it's been quite the adventure. little did my family know how much we'd have to encounter, teach, and give during these 6 months. sometimes i'd wonder why we even did this--taking her in right out of a third world country, into our home. as some of you know, i've shared in my battles as well. little did i know how rewarding it'd be in the end.

so we drove down to RI saturday. 4 hours in the car. about 15 minutes from our destination, my dad and i decided to stop by the beach, because we thought it'd be a cool thing to do. so we parked the car at this restaurant right on the ocean. it was really windy, yet really warm. ruth had started to get a bit excited on the way to the beach, but i have never seen someone react the way that she did when we all stepped foot on that beach. the tide was coming in and the waves were *huge*--we were guessing at least 15 feet. as we were walking onto the beach, ruth started jumping up and down and clinging to my dad as she yelled out in her broken english, "i never in my whole life see anything like this..only in my dreams!" over and over and over again. as she said this, she started to cry. i don't think i'll ever forget it. if she wasn't saying this, she was saying "WOW" an awful lot. it was awesome. my dad and i just looked at each other realizing that this little spontaneous trip had given us both such an unexpected blessing.

but what blew us away was how overwhelmed she was at the site of the water crashing down on the beach...almost overwhelmed to a point of fear. God spoke to me so much through it and gave such a humongous blessing--not only in that, but showing me that even through the trials and frustration i've sometimes experienced in the past 6 months, there was indeed a divine purpose to the whole thing. and there is a reward far greater than we could ever imagine. i just hope next time i am asked to give, that i do it with a more willing heart. and with the way ruth reacted to something so awesome that God had created, i couldn't help but think how in awe we should be of Him, ya know? it's funny how we sometimes forget how big a God He is. but He's so huge and so awesome and i need Him so much more than i could ever comprehend. and i'm thankful for the trials He's put me through--even though they really stink sometimes. it's remembering who's at the end of the long and narrow road that really matters.

running after Him.
-meg


Febuary 2, 2001

i just got to thinking. i just responded to a post on a message board about grumpy people and encounters with them. and i got this revelation while i was typing my response. i've encountered so many lately and i hadn't really thought about it. God's called us to love people. that is what He's all about, ya know? it's such a simple thing, yet so complicated and so difficult many times.

i work as a waitress and it brings along people from all different walks of life. i think it's safe to say that i encounter grumpy people on a daily basis. then there are others who leave poor tips. still others who leave none at all. it's insulting and disturbing. but you know what God keeps reminding me? to love them. at work and at home when i think of these experiences, i am constantly hearing this whispering in my ear saying, "love them, Megan. love them love them love them." we belong to Jesus. we're His. He created us in His image. yet sometimes we're so busy focusing on our task at hand that we forget what He's called us to do.

recently on my way to a youth conference with my dad, we stopped at a grocery store to buy some cookies. we were so excited because it was a buy one, get the second one half price or something. so we get to the express checkout line and there is a guy in front of us who is so set on just getting his stuff bought, and a chick behind us that is literally slamming her items onto the counter. before getting in line, i observed how everyone seemed to be in their own world and they all seemed so unhappy. it was odd...like God opening my eyes and getting ready to show me something. so...the man in front of me is paying for his stuff and the cashier says 'have a nice day' and he didn't respond or anything..just took his change and left. my dad and i were next in line, and when the cashier said hi to us, we actually started talking to her and she revealed this awesome smile and it seemed to really brighten her day. it's amazing what one little thing can do. we walked out of that store knowing that we'd just been used to love on someone. that's what Jesus does with us. why can't we do that same?



January 4, 2001

caught in a bubble.

that's what life is sometimes, i think. you get caught up in your own friends, your own lifestyle, your own habits. and then suddenly....BOOM! your world has collided. with what? you don't know. but you know life is not going to be the same again. you know that change has come to stay.

my world has collided yet again. it's not really something to be depressed or upset about, but it's nerve-racking nonetheless. i don't know what makes it happen. it reminds me of one of those heart monitors...the line is steady....steady....steady...in this repetitive pattern and then something happens. the lines move frantically in a vertical and horizontal pattern that is really not a pattern at all. all you know is that something has happened. something has made your heart suddenly change to this chaotic rythymn.

God's been fine-tuning my heart. the beat has changed. some things just started to change in my life without my control and when that starts to happen, it's like sand slipping through my fingers. it's impossible to catch it all--if any. one of the things is that i recently changed jobs. and as some of you know, it was difficult. and in the last week, i've had to say goodbye in numerous ways to numerous people.

my world has collided.

as soon as i get comfortable in where i am and who i'm with, God whips out his handy dandy 2 x 4 and wacks my world around a bit. changing jobs was a real big thing for me. once i get comfortable in some way and change suddenly crashes in, i get uneasy and unsure of what God is doing with and in me. and the more this happens, the more i realize that He is using these times of collision to get me to crawl up to His lap and cry my eyes out...knowing that it's okay to be weak. it's okay to be poor. it's okay to be broken.

i think we, as Christians, need to constantly remember that we cannot get caught in a bubble. we cannot get caught in looking at things through one perspective. we cannot get caught in becoming blind to the people around us when they�re crying out for help. We cannot get caught in putting God in a limit-filled box. God is omnipresent, omnipotent and He is here. He is here calling out to you and me to step out onto the cliff and trust that He will be there holding us and keeping us safe, no matter where He takes us. we can put great trust in not what we see, but what He sees. let's look a little harder into the bigger picture and open our eyes up a little more to what He's doing all around us. are you coming?

here i am Jesus. make my worlds collide.

*January 1, 2001*

Happy New Year! ...now that we've entered the *real* millennium. i hope everyone had a good one. mine was alright--if you call working alright. : ) looking back, it astounds me how much God can do and work through in one year. i don't have much to say right now, because i'm in the middle of talkin' with one of my buds, but i hope and pray that as each of you seek Him out this year that He'll bring more hope and joy and love than you've ever experienced before. i'll leave you with this verse that's become my life verse recently:

God--you're my God! I can't get enough of You! I've worked up such a hunger and thirst for God, traveling across dry and weary deserts. So here I am in the place of worship, eyes open, drinking in your strength and glory. In your generous love I am really living at last! My lips brim praises like fountains. I bless you every time I take a breath; My arms wave like banners of praise to You. I eat my fill of prime rib and gravy; I smack my lips. It's time to shout praises! If I'm sleepless at midnight, I spend the hours in grateful reflection. Because you've always stood up for me, I'm free to run and play. I hold on to you for dear life, and you hold me steady as a post.

-Psalms 63-

*December 19, 2000* i don't have much to say at the mo' and i may update before christmas or something, but i just got a CD by a group called Tree63 and they are awesome. i have not stopped listening to it. so i want to share this song with you. be blessed.

A Million Lights
by Tree63
written by John Ellis

Can we hang out tonight, underneath Your ceiling?
I could stare up at a million lights and listen to You breathing
If I fall fast asleep it's just because I feel so safe in You
It won't take much to wake me up

Could I walk out to sea, way beyond these breakers?
We have no place among the movers and the shakers
Yours is the only throne I'll ever get down on my knees before
You have the whole of me

Lover, come away
Come away my Lover

I heard you say, you've stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes
When I fell down You raised me up
That's gravity

Yours is the only throne I'll ever get down on my knees before
You have the whole of me
Lover, come away

When I fell down, you were standing there
Waiting for me
You raised me up, welcomed me home
That's gravity

Won't You come away, won't You come away with me
Lover of my soul

*November 20, 2000*

it seems it's time for another update, eh? i probably wouldn't even bother, but i have this fan who always comes to my site waiting on edge for an update. : )

big news: i just arrived back from England! it was definitely an adventure all the way around--from the moment i left to the time i arrived home. i flew by myself, but met up with Bob Bradbury, his wife and another couple from the U.S. i will save you the details of every little thing that happened (especially because some of you reading this know already..) and just say that it was awesome. i brought my guitar as a step of faith. usually i don't bring it with me unless i'm sure that i'm going to be using it. i made that mistake in Paraguay and didn't bring it, wishing both times that i had. so with some convincing from my parents, i brought it and went with the feeling that if it's sole purpose was so that i could play it in my room, that'd be fine. well. i ended up leading worship--3 times. and i had so much fun and God really came. He is just so awesome. And at the beginning of the conference, a lady who had been paralyzed for 3 years came out of her wheel chair! i could not believe my eyes, but the whole rest of the week she was walking around like she'd been walking forever. awesome.

it's amazing how God comes through in the most subtle ways. i was prepared to exchange all this money to buy souvenirs and stuff, and i did not spend one cent (except 50p on a can of Dr. Pepper), but i came home with souvenirs. people either bought stuff for me or gave me the money. God is a trip.

i've wanted to go to England for about 3 years now--it's been a huge dream of mine and i have not been sure why. but there is something Sovereign that God is doing there and He gave me a heart for that country. i can't even begin to explain what went on inside me while i was there...i just love it, though. : )

at the moment, i'm still trying to catch up on my sleep and get used to the cold again here. till next time, peace and remember that He's everywhere.

-meg-

*October 14, 2000* it seems i haven't updated this is sooo long. so much has happened that i've thought of putting on this page, but since then, i've forgotten. heehee. i love it when that happens. let's just say that the last 28 days have been quite the trip. God is amazing. i love Him.

um...Friday night i went to see Delirious. you knew that was coming, didn't you? : ) it was *awesome*. i've seen good concerts, but in my book, this has been the best so far. not to mention that they are my favorite band and i got to be right up in front of the stage--i coulda touched Martin's foot if i wanted. : ) it was their first stop on this US tour and so they were all quite "chuffed" (British lingo for "pumped") to be singing their new songs live for the very first time. and man, the Holy Spirit really came. at one point in the concert after their song "My Glorious", everyone started singing "Glory, Glory, send Your Glory" for forever it seemed. it was awesome. it seems like God is really on a new move because this passion and seeking of His face is intensifying all over the place. the same type of thing happened when we sung "Did You Feel the Mountains Tremble"...the concert was more like a worship service in that the d:boys weren't afraid to go off on a tangent with a song and not do their set list of songs. they even sung "The Happy Song" just for us and said they hadn't played it in 4 years! we felt privilaged. : ) the second to last song they did was "History Maker"--my absolute favorite--and Martin encouraged us to go for it and that our generation was the one God was wanting to use to spread His Glory and change nations. oh my, it was cool.

all in all, it was an awesome experience. plus, i got to meet them for the second time...woohoo! they're all so cool and so passionate for Jesus. that's why i love this band so much.

in other news....i am going to England in November! i just recieved my airplane tickets in the mail and i am stoked. (uh...that's New Zealand lingo for "psyched") i have been waiting about 3 years to go and i finally am. i'll keep you posted. till next time, be blessed and be real.

-meg-

*September 11, 2000*

last weekend i attended The Call DC in Washington, DC where an estimated million youth gathered to fast and pray for the nation from 6AM to 6PM. it was an unbelievable experience. i don't think i've ever been to anything so intense in my life.

we drove 12 hours in a bus Friday evening in order to get there for 6AM. there were already 100's of youth and adults arriving around 4AM when we got into DC. i've never seen so many from my generation gathered to cry out to God like i saw that day. there were speakers, worship leaders, and kids that got up on stage and just cried out some intense prayers to God...passionate prayers. there were different segments: Repentance, Reconciliation (between our generation and the one before us), Revival, and Revolution. we interceded for the schools, for the government...we repented for individual sins and for the sins of our forefathers. and there were no breaks. 12 hours straight. awesome.

at one point, Michael W. Smith came out to introduce the Reconciliation segment. he led us in some praise songs and was very vulnerable and open to us, which i've never seen to the extent he was as a contemporary christian artist. in closing, he sang his song "This Is Your Time", written for Cassie Bernall of the Columbine shooting last year. i was never impacted too much with the shootings, to tell you honestly, as i was this day. it just became so real to me. the whole day God was quietly speaking to me about abandoning everything to Him and chasing after Him like i've never done before. and this was just another little whisper...and it hit me like a ton of bricks....

"This is your time
This is your dance
Live every moment
Leave nothing to chance
Swim in the sea
Drink of the deep
Embrace the mystery
Of all you can be
This is your time"

Copyright 1999 Michael W. Smith

and by some miracle, out of the thousands there, i found one of my best friends that i haven't seen in nearly 2 years! that was awesome in itself. we had both prayed that we'd find each other, and God came through, which was so cool! that's it for now. go for it with all you've got....and as always, email me!

-meg-

p.s. i recieved Delirious' *new* album entitled "Glo" yesterday in the mail. it'll be released Oct. 10 here in the USA. anyways, it rocks!! check out this awesome interview. peace out.

*August 29, 2000*

at last. an update from *me*.

it's hard to summarize all the things that have been occuring in my life in the last month. so that's why there hasn't been much of anything on this page in awhile...except for that exciting news brief from my buddy. basically, life is moving and sometimes i feel i'm not running hard enough to catch up with it. people say that the age of 12 to 13 is tough, but i think they're wrong. it's the transition between teenager and adult. it baffles me, yet i don't know what's so hard about it? i wonder if i'm the only one who's noticed this? ah well. who knows.

The Call DC is coming up in less than a week and i'm getting quite pumped. i've dreamt about an event like this for SO long. and it's here. a massive gathering of teenagers and adults to fast and pray for the nation. and i really hope there is a humongous outpouring of God's Spirit as a result of this. i don't think He'd let millions of youth come together and cry out to Him and not do something about it. ya know? so that is where i am at this point in time. till next time, keep chasing after Him and running with the vision He's given you. be blessed.

ooh! and Delirious' *NEW* album has come out--at least in the UK! yo, i'm aftah that like a penguin chasing a buttahfly.

-meg-







*August 20, 2000*

here i am again with no time or thinking power to tell you about the latest news in the life of Megan! i went to Paraguay again, yes that is a fact. and that is what my pictures are about...except the one of Keith...that was here in the good ol' USA. in 4 days, i will be leaving to go to The Call, a national youth fast on Sept 2nd. Please check it out as it is very, very important. i'll be adding more in the near future, but as for now, i have a special news bulletin from Keith, reporting *live* from Nashville. back to you, Keith!

"August 11, 2000: The latest in the life of Megan, according to Keith.

Things have been quite interesting lately. When Megan came home from Paraguay a few weeks ago, she brought back more than just souveniours(spelling? i can't spell). Ruth, a young lady from Paraguay, is staying with her family for an indefinite about of time. Details of her stay are not available today, but one day those details will be known.

*sidenote: i know i'll learn more about Ruth..could be scary though:)*

In other news, Meegan is currently working hard to keep up with her homies, Robin and Daniel. Robin will be *nine* on August 21st. Happy Birthday! Megan also continues to work flawlessly at the Lincoln Inn, though "pork" and "duck" are kinda confusing. ;) She's just trying to save money for a new airplane. But that's news for another day.

Don't worry folks, I'm sure she'll have a chance to update stuff soon. While you wait, check out http://www.geocities.com/chewdawg <-it's not up to par, but sign my g-book, and tell me what i should do. As always- Pray, Pray, and eat peanut buttah!

Keith"

*July 4, 2000*

well happy, happy fourth of July! i'm patiently awaiting for it to get dark so i can go watch the fireworks...so i thought i'd do an update on my life. sorta weird posting personal stuff on this public page, but i guess that's the point, huh? anyways, i *finally* met a really awesome 'net friend of mine in person last week and it was such a blast. too bad it seems like it's such a big world sometimes. i think i'll shrink it...throw it in the dryer or something. : ) i wouldn't recommend meeting *everyone* you talk to on the net in person, cuz i had a wacked experience a few years ago. good thing it was a public place and i only saw him for about 5 minutes! but this was no mistake...too bad all my good friends don't live closer. aah...such a hard life it is. but God knows what's going on...there must be a reason all my best friends don't live in the same state as me. ah well.

alright...other news is that we're going back to Paraguay next week (the 13th) for about 10 days. i'm sort of excited, but it's not really sinking in! what is very, very cool is that i got handed a check on Sunday in church for $2500 for me, my dad, and my mom to all go! even cooler was that we didn't ask for any money at all. quite awesome if you ask me. my mom's passport still hasn't come in yet, but we're expecting it soon. just pray it gets here before we leave. and i dunno what God is doing or what He has up His sleeve but i'd really like to ask for your prayers...i'm taking this trip very seriously. who knows...God may open up something and i want Him to prepare my heart for whatever happens...thanks! i will try and keep this updated, but i've been busy with work and stuff, so we'll see. sign my guestbook if you haven't...it's on the main page!!




**June 8, 2000**

P A R A G U A Y
Dios puede usar peque�o, viejo m�.
(God can use little ol' me.)

where do i start? for those of you who don't know, i went to Paraguay for one week...May 26th to June 3rd with apostolic evangelist Bob Bradbury and a team of 11 others, including myself. i don't how many people will read this, but i suppose i'd better update this seeing some may be curious. : ) i happened to predict right...not just me, but almost the whole team had had severe attacks from the enemy the week prior to leaving. why? because he knew what was gonna happen. there isn't one word to describe how awesome it was. we started off with a flight from Boston to JFK and then from JFK to Buenos Aires to Asuncion, Paraguay. it was quite the trip, lemme tell ya. we essentially traveled for 24 hours both ways. on the way there, i had a bad stomach ache and when we arrived in Asuncion, we found out that half our team's luggage never made it. it arrived 3 days later. and on our way out of Paraguay, we went to check in only to find out the airlines had sold our tickets. they said it in a nicer way..."you bought stand-by tickets", which was far from the truth. two out of ten of the team had actual seats on the plane, so they left us to go board the plane, while we waited for about an hour for the airline to get us some seats. not to mention, there were about 20 Paraguayan kids from the church we'd worked with saying goodbye to us, pretty much begging us not to leave. lots of chaos, but God was in the midst of it all. one of my friends suddenly had the bright idea of praying, so we gathered in a circle, held hands, and prayed. right in front of the check-in desk. not 2 minutes later did the head honcho lady come over to say that we had seats on the plane! it was truly awesome. so we left afterall. : )

in between the airplane chaos, God did a whole lot. i could probably write a book about it all, but let's just say He was in Paraguay...more so than most places here in North America. We did about 3 meetings on average per day, starting at 8 and getting back around 11 or 12...depending on which night. we went to various schools and churches, and were based out of the biggest church in Paraguay. at one school, where attending chapel is a regular thing, a teacher mentioned how before we came, the students never wanted to go to chapel. now, that's all they want to do! at one meeting, Bob called up everyone in the church that needed physical healing. i think about half the people there came up front. i got to pray with these little kids and such, and it went on for quite awhile. towards the end i noticed one of my friends, also on the team, had been praying for a little 4 year old girl for about a half hour or so. the little girl had a cataract in one of her eyes, so she couldn't see out of it. so i came over and asked my friend Bethany what was happening, if anything. i asked Beth to ask the little girl if she could see out of her bad eye. so, Bethany, closing the girl's good eye, held up 2 fingers and asked how many she could see. and the little girl would reply with "2"...and so beth would hold up a different amount of fingers, and the little girl would constantly reply with the write answer. i just sat there stunned and said "no way" about a million times. i kept making sure her good eye was really shut, and then one of the Paraguayans asked the girl to point to her mother, who was off to the side...and she did! we tried that a couple times as her mom moved to different places, and every time, with her good eye shut, she'd point right to her. i was so shocked and so psyched that God had healed her i stared crying along with the little girl's mom! there were tons of other things that happened like that, like a deaf boy hearing for the very first time, and it's all due to God...He's so awesome.

so, in a very short nutshell, that was Paraguay. words cannot express the emotions and experiences the other team members and i had, but hopefully this gives you a little glimpse. the people there were so hungry for God, it was unbelievable. i've only ever just dreamt about seeing God do what He did down there. it was for real. God willing, i'll be going back next month and see where it leads from there. Paraguay is one of God's best kept secrets and I really think something big is gonna break out there!

**May 23, 2000**

i just thought i'd kinda do an update quickly. things are getting busy as we leave for Paraguay on Friday. seeing some of us have been under attack, i know it's gonna be good. say a quick prayer for us, though! by the way, my dad _did_ get his passport and we actually raised more than enough money for both my dad and i. i don't know how, but God provided it. oh, and check out this new band Sundry...they're not well known yet, but they're very awesome. (plus, Mac Powell from Third Day and Micheal Johnston from Small Town Poets add their vocal talent to the album!) i'll most likely add more when i get back!




**May 9, 2000**

it's been a few weeks and it looks like i should update this a bit. i've added a guestbook which i think you should sign...heehee. except, of course, if you've already signed it. it's such an odd concept to be typing on a machine not knowing who's reading it. what's even odder is how stress relieving it is. i think i could just type and type and type if i had no self-control. maybe that's why i'm good at email? who knows. alright, back to news. well...this morning i woke up and the peanut butter would not talk to the jelly. i was amazed at the amount of hostility in the kitchen. so let's just say, in a matter of speaking, my morning did not start off the best way. i am off to Paraguay with my evangelist buddy Bob Bradbury, my dad, and about 10 other people that God has opened up the doors to go as well. i have no idea why i'm going really. i think i'm in sort of a daze about the whole thing, but at the same time, anxious to get back down there. i went to Brazil in the summer of '97 on a clowning team for 8 weeks and i fell in love with the people there--especially the kids. and that's who i keep thinking about as i'm preparing spiritually for Paraguay--the kids. God holds them very special to His heart. i know it. so, as you are reading this, i know even the littlest prayer will help. my dad is still waiting on his passport and we leave May 26th. financially, it's not that bad, but it'd be really awesome to get some extra funds in there! in smaller news...i got the toppish part of one of my ears pierced Sat. which i was very psyched about! i know it doesn't seem like much, but it was to me! other than that, things are starting to get busy, not only with Paraguay, but with work starting up again tomorrow, a wedding i'm in on my birthday (!), and other stuff down the road that i don't even wanna think about right now. i'm just trying my hardest to trust that God's got it under control. oh, such a hard truth to accept. but i know He'll come through in the nick of time. it's just waiting on the edge of my seat that scares me.




**April 26, 2000**

well, i just came back from a trip to toronto for a youth conference called Fresh Wind. all i can say right now is that it was beyond awesome. the Holy Spirit really fell and i think i had some heart surgery done. it was all very, very good. i also hooked up with some of my very best buddies from the school of ministry that i haven't seen in over a year. and i laughed my head off most of the time...unless God was speaking to me...and then i did a lot of crying. all good though! Jesus is the light, He's the way and He's the truth. sometimes we just have to step out of the boat and trust that He is gonna provide the steps we need and He is gonna provide the light we need to see the path. He'll catch us when we fall, He'll give us strength just when we think we can't do it any longer, because He's hope. and He's waiting for you to find Him. He's waiting for an open heart to catch Him and abandon everything for Him. i got so much out of this conference, i can't even begin to write it all out. But i know that He's a big God. and He just blows me away.

"..I stretched out my hands to you, as thirsty for you as a desert is thirsty for rain.."(Ps. 143:6-The Message)

**April 7, 2000**

Last night, or early this morning, I came back from the Newsboys concert. They totally ROCKED!! Beanbag and Sonicflood opened up for them, and they were awesome as well. What amazed me was the humility in all three bands and the way that they kept pointing to Jesus throughout the whole show. I just can't tell you how much much it blew me away. Sonicflood really taught me what true worship really is. It's not about the lights, or the loud music, but it's about Jesus...that's it. The whole time they were up there, it was like they were all lost in the worship, and as I was watching them getting totally lost in it, it made me want to do the same. God started tapping me on the shoulder saying, "Megan...why aren't you worshipping Me?". *ouch* So, nevertheless, I was taught a few things last night! It was quite cool. Even though Beanbag were a little hard to understand, they totally knew how to rock! I got to meet them afterwards, and they are all so real and so themselves. I mean...they are REAL people! I think sometimes we put bands or people up on pedastals and they're really just like us. The only difference is that they're in a band and get to go all around the world performing in front of thousands of people. I knew this, but God really revealed that to me last night, and it never had really hit me 'till then. But anyway, if you haven't seen them on tour, and get a chance, I strongly suggest you do it. You won't be disappointed.





beam me h o m e Scotty