1. To consume a Fray Bentos, you must be at least 18, and you must begin on the level entry pie (chicken and vegetable)
2. Once the Fray Bentos tin seal has been broken, it must be cooked according to the intructions, which results in a 1.5% increase in the pastry level. If cooking in the Lawns, allow 2 days for the oven to reach desired temperature, as they are crap.
3. Once cooked, the whole pie must be consumed by no more than one person. If this person is a Geordie, it must be eaten in the 'Geordie position' i.e. sitting on a bed with arms underneath legs, whilst playing Worms on the Playstation.
4. Mini Fray Bentos pies are not applicable.
5. If the pie becomes inedible, it is due to oneself being a crap cook (Dave), and you are one of the few people in the universe who doesn't understand how to cook a Fray Bentos. Under these circumstances you must (i) buy another pie, or (ii) eat two pies at the next sitting, or (iii) endure the uncooked Fray Bentos, and suffer the 'Pebble Dash' syndrome.
6. Do not use any condiments except a fork.
7. The only additional food allowed is gravy, which must be used to total excess (at least 2 packets), and eaten in the 'Geordie position'.
GUIDELINES TO BECOMING A MASTER
LEVEL WEEK PIE TO CONSUME
1 1 Chicken and vegetable
1 2 Steak and kidney
2 3 Chicken and mushroom
2 4 Minced beef and onion
2 5 Steak and ale
3 6 All pies in one week
Once level 3 has been reached, there is one more task to perform before becoming a Fray Bentos Master. This involves travelling to Fray Bentos in Uruguay, and stealing the sign 'Fray Bentos'. Only then will you have the title 'Fray Bentos Master'.