Kenny Gamera wrote a story which started the
Girl Scout story flood.

It are more than twenty stories by totally different writers with different writing styles. There are many good ones (like those from Mr. Gamera or Mr. Hoisington and some very bad ones — one of the latter sort you are getting to read here, so escape if you can.

Just some bits came in my mind...

Most spelling and grammar errors are intented, some not ;-)

Last night in my most famous club...

As I came in, I remarked a drunken guy, talking to the barkeeper, eating cookies, which were deposited on a plate.

"Why, in Heav-ve-ven's sake you ... you 'ave an ... the-te-te-sau, ... fuck."

"You mean a thesaurus?" asked the keeper.

"Yes. Sesaurus. What d-do-you-do have it for over-ver-serr?"

"Oh, that's easy. It is because of Mr. Gamera."

"Who the f-fuck is Mr. Gamma?"

"Mr. Gamera once met Girl Scouts. He could have sex with them, but he didn't have..."

"Se sesaurus?"

"Yes, right."

"Annnand you bought se dinosaurus from Mister Ga-Gam-mara?"

"Of course not. He lives thousands of miles from here. But he started the Girl Scout thing. It spread fast all over the world. You never heard of him?"

"No. What's he du-ju-ing? Selling books?"

"No, he's a writer of sex stories. He's posting them to a Usenet Newsgroup, and many people all over the world are reading them."

"Me-ih not. Don't know Gamma."

"Never mind. But some weeks ago he wrote about the girl scouts who visited him at home. He could have sex with them..."

"Sex 'th 'em? U have th-e-eir phone nummmber?"

"They won't have sex with you, if you don't have a thesaurus. I am prepared. I bought one."

"Girl Scouts sold it to you?" he asked.

"No. Last week three boy scouts were here. They said, that if I would buy a thesaurus, maybe some girl scouts would visit and I would get laid."

"You believe that?"

"Sure. Why wouldn't I? Nevertheless, since then, I have the thesaurus prepared, in case they would come in."

"So you would give them the thesaurus for getting laid?"

"Sure," the keeper said.

"Would you like to get laid by girl scouts?" I asked the drunken man.

"I would laid now ... in my bed," he answered.

Back to the keeper I asked, "Would you give me the thesaurus, please?"

He was shocked. "Mister, I'm not gay. Why do you need the thesaurus?"

"Well, dear friend, I need to look, if barkeeper is another word for jackass," I said.

"Hey, mister! I won't let you fuck my ass," the keeper said.

"Ye-ess, I pay casssh!" said the drunken.

Oh my goodness! Can turtles fly? Help me out of this silly club.