Frank was born on August 4th 1974. It was steamy and hot that day as told by my mother because I was only 41/2 then. He was so cute--I know everyone thinks that of their brother. He had beautiful blonde hair and was so chubby. I was very excited to be a big sister. Frank and I did alot of things together-including sharing a room!! Stinky huh?? Not really we enjoyed it. We actually wanted to sleep together. I remember when Frank was in kindergarten and he hated school--we all did, but Frank was really bad. He did things like kick the principal, throw his lunch box over the fence, tell my mom she didn't love him but the very worst thing was--I had to eat luch with him everyday!!!! I was in the 5th grade and everyday his teacher would call me to the kindergarten room to have lunch with my brother! All my friends having lunch together and where was I?? With Frank--I wanted to kill him. And now I would give anything to be able to have lunch with my brother!
At the young age of 18 Frank became a godfather for the first time--Cynthia Marie was born on May 17th 1992. She was beautiful Frank christened her at saint Athanasius Church. He was a good choice. He took his responsibilities well. Then at the age of 22 he once again became Godfather and an uncle for the first time. My daughter Amanda Marie was born on January 23rd 1996. Fank was so happy to be an uncle. He had all Amanda's pictures in his car. He christened Amanda at St. Brendan's Church. His eyes would light up when he spoke of Amanda. All his friends knew her even if I didn't know them. Then on October 9th 2000, Frank's dream came true-he had a nephew-oh boy he thought this would be fun. He had alot of plans for Nicholas. He would say"When Nicholas is 14 and I am 41, I will take him to strip clubs". I only wish you could have lived long enough to do that Frank--I would have let you! How amazing in November 2001, Frank once again had another Godchild-this time a boy-Jason David. His Aunt's son. Don't ask our family tree gets a little confusing-lets just say "his cousin's son" Ha Ha!! Well I remember Frank being concerned because at this point he had lost all his hair. He didn't know if he could do the christening. He did it and did a beautiful job. He christened Jason at Saint Athanasius Church. Only 4 short weeks after, Frank passed away leaving so may memories and so much joy and love to these children. Frank may not have been a Doctor, Lawyer or famous person but to us, he accomplished alot in 27 short years. I am proud to be his sister.
Frank's sense of humor was unbelievable. His strength during his illness was remarkable. He never asked "why me" he never complained. He kept his sense of humor through it all. Like the song says"lately been wondering who will be there to take my place" no one Frank no one. When Frank first became sick--it was a shock--I know it always is but this was different--this was "THE DUDE". We all wondered how could this be happening?? After all he was only 27 years old. Lung cancer--unheard of!! Well it happened but I have to say through it all Frank kept his sense of humor. He didn't let anything get him down. I remember taking him for his radiation treatments everyday and he would wear the same shorts everyday!! I swear he really did. They were yellow and get this his slippers yes I said slippers, were orange!!! They were NIKE though so that made them a COOL orange slipper. We would go at 8 am everyday and I would sit in the waiting room for him and listen to his coughing--oh how it killed me but I never let him see it. He would come out and he would say " ok are you ready??" as if he was waiting for me. We didnt talk much on the ride home--he was usually coughing his brains out!! then I would say "are you finished?" and he would have some choice words to say and together we would laugh and stop talking about it. Today those days seem so long ago. Frank would have me pick him up at my mom's house almost every morning after I would take Amanda (my daughter) to school. I coudln't believe that he wanted me to pick him up at 8:45 am but he did. I would get to the block and there was Frank waiting at the door watching for me. I can no longer look at that door because it hurts so much. Memories are good but they do hurt at times. We would go to eat in IHOP every Wednesday before I went to work. My mom, Frank, Nicholas and myself ate there. Amanda was at school so don't tell her-HA HA. Frank would take IHOP magnets home and make magnets of Amanda and Nicholas. He spent hours doing this. We have them on my moms refrigerator. They are perfect--you would never know they once said IHOP. We sure did alot of shopping. Frank was a big shopper. He loved Diesel, Guess, Nike you know all the famous, expensive brands. We would go to the outlets and shop til we dropped--literally!!! We even shopped once at Target--BIG story behind that but I won't get into that. When Joey (our cousin) reads this he will remember our trip to Target!!!! Also when Michele (Frank's girlfriend) reads this she will remember it very clearly!!!! Oh boy the highlight of Frank's life--He got a handicapped parking pass!!!!! he was thrilled to go shopping and park in that space. Jimmy(my husband) and Frank went to Costco shopping around the holidays and you know how parking is then--well Frank whips out the pass and tells Jimmy to park anywhere!!!! They laughed their butts off that day. Jimmy remembers that day clearly. Of course Frank wanted to teach Amanda how to ice skate so she could have her 6th birthday at the ice skating rink. Imagine ice skating with large tumors in your lungs and bones?? He was the picture of strength. We went ice skating--all of us except Jimmy he was working. We went on December 2nd only 2 weeks before his passing. He taught all of us to ice skate. We all got tired before him!!! Amanda loved it and we booked her party for January. I don't know how he did it but he did. He said it was a "Bundy family outing". It was a time I will never forget. There goes those memories again!! We did have Amanda's 6th birthday even though Frank had passed away--we knew how important it was to him. Everyone ice skated in memory of him and I know in my heart he was there!!! I know he is always there!!!! Thank you Frank for your sense of humor.
We miss you!!!
Frank had many friends but there is only a few that I always heard him speak of from childhood.
There is Vinny, Gus, Michael and Adam. They were Frank's friends ever since I can remember. Good guys. When Frank became sick, I really got to know the true friendship that they shared with my brother. They were at the hospital all the time and even at my Mom's house to visit him. When he would go to Brooklyn(thats where everyone lives except us) he would always be at Gus's house just lounging around. He also had a love for Vinny's dog. I remember him telling me that he was gonna "doggy sit for Harley" I couldn't believe it. As the saying goes--"it is better to have a few good friends that many bad ones". Well Frank certainly had good friends. I wish to thank them in these stories for all they have done for me, my Mom and my children in these rough times. The stories that they shared with me about Frank was great. My brother seemed to have become a man and I never saw it happening. Somehow you tend to loose track of things when life gets so hectic around you. Thank you guys for keeping in touch with us and for helping my children know their uncle. I know up in heaven in "Frank's castle" he is watching over all of you and protecting you. This year these guys bought Amanda and Nicholas so may wonderful presents at Christmas time and they were all presents that I know Frank would have bought for them. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. You help to keep Frank's memory alive and for that there is no way to repay you but to say THANK YOU and let others read this to see how wonderful friends can be!!
Frank's memorial service--December 20, 2001 Charles LaBella Funeral Home
Frank chose to be cremated. He told me on Thanksgiving day only 2 weeks before his passing. Once again his sense of humor came through--he said "I don't want to be in a casket with people looking at me--and if Mommy won't listen to you then just put me in the casket butt up so whoever didn't like me can KISS MY BUTT GOODBYE". Those were his exact words!!! He said for me to cremate him take his ashes back to my house and play music and talk the way we did when he was here. Since the memorial-I have Frank high up on my shelf with pictures of him and his "castle". Every night when it gets dark, I turn the light on for him until bedtime then I say "Goodnight Frank-see you tomorrow" and then we go to bed. Amanda, Nicholas and Jimmy also say goodnight to him. His memorial service was different but so very like Frank. we had pictures of him, his friends and girlfriend also made things for him. Talk about flowers--wow was there nice flowers at the memorial. I will just name a few--of course there was a bleeding heart, stuff from the kids and the biggest JETS helmet you have ever seen. He also had a flower made of Pearl Jam the other thing Frank really loved besides the Jets. He received a beautiful bible from Aunt Ceal, Uncle Frank and Lisa that stays with him inside my cabinet. Aunt Rita, Wan and the kids including Frank's godson Jason bought the chaliss-that is also with him in the cabinet. The memorial was packed with people. So mamany people I didn't know but they seemed to have known me-I guess Frank really did like his Big Sis!!Ha Ha--you wouldn't know it by the fat lip he gave me with the gate when he was about 12!!!! Hey I never forgot that one!!! That one really hurt! Anyway, as a tribute to my brother, I wrote and read a letter I had written to him. I know this shocked Frank because he would never think I had the strength to read this out loud-but believe it or not after what I saw Frank go through in 5 months, I felt he gave me all his strength. Here's what I said:
"Frank, Where do I begin?? There are so many things to say and so many memories. First of all let me say I am so proud of you. You have gone through something no one should ever know and you did it Frank-always remember you won. Your strength has given me the strength to do this today. If I could only have half of the courage you have had these past 5 months, I would consider myself lucky. I know sometimes you were afraid-I wanted to take that fear from you-I would have taken it from you-but you never gave it to me. You spared me your pain. These past 5 months, I wouldn't give them up for anything. the treatments-they were worth it Frank if all they did was give us time. I had forgotten how precious time was until I got to spend almost everyday with you for the past 5 months. Please know I tried my best. I would have done anything to make this work. I wanted to win Frank. I lost but you Frank you won!! You have made a difference in my life. You have a place in my heart that no one can ever take from me. My memories are beautiful and I will treasure those memories for as long as I am here then I will no longer need them cause there you'll be. Frank when I look up I can see those castles in the sky we would sing about. I loved you so much as a baby and as you grew into an adult. I was always amazed by you. I love you today and I will love you tomorrow. I know you are my guardian angel. I thank you for allowing me to share in your life, in your dreams, in your terrible disease and in your final days. Frank I know what you are thinking--you can't believe I got up here in front of all these people and did this--but I did and now you can STICK A FORK IN ME CAUSE I'M DONE DUDE!!!
"I love you my brother Frank!!!
Frank--written and typed by his favorite girl--Amanda(age 7)
once there was a girl Named Amanda.She had an Uncle his name was Dude.he was Nanny's son and Mommy's brother.He was Amanda's favorite Uncle. Every Wednesday he would have candy for her.
Everyboty called him Frank, but Amanda called him Dude.Every night Dude would sleep on the bottom.He slept on bunk beds.And Mommy slept on the top. And Dude would punch the top of the bed where Mommy slept. he was pretty ANNOYING.When Mommy was little she had to eat with Dude because he was afraid. Mommy was in 5 th grade and Dude was in Kindergarden. dude died on December 16 2001 12/16/o1.now Mommy can't eat with Dude and she would do anything to eat with him.When Mommy came home My whole family was on the couch, she said I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS.when Mommy said HE DIED we were all crying. ME,NANNY AND MOMMY was crying the most love you tons and tons
Love, Amanda,Nicholas and family
I will leave this page exactly as written because it gave Amanda such joy to write and type it all by herself. Thanks for reading it. She really loved him and I know he is now her guardian angel.
Frank--in Nicholas' words (Nicholas is only 26 months old)
"Dude lives with God"
"God lives with Dude"
"Hi Dude"
"Love you Dude"
"Dude's tree"
"Talk to Dude"
"Dude in the crib"
"Don't cry Dude"
"Dude light on"(this means to turn on the light in Dude's cabinet memorial)
As little as Nicholas is, we try to keep his memory alive--I think it's working--what about you??
When we first moved to this new house, I didn't know if I should keep the tree in the yard. It seemed to be in the way. It was one lonely tree but when the spring came around and the tree had all these beautiful leaves and flowers on it, I knew it was part of "our" home. Now 3 years later I know why I needed that tree--it was for my brother. On Memorial day 2002 we started to decorate the tree--FRANK'S TREE. We put a fence around it(mainly to keep Nicholas away-which by the way didn't work). I found pretty windchimes that are football and baseball players. There are Angel windchimes too. We printed up poeem and put the kids pictures there too. We have all sorts of cool stuff on the tree(look at my index page and view the tree). The tree started to look beautiful and peaceful. It no longer looked lonely. It belonged at our home. On June 22, 2002, we dedicated the tree to Frank. We had 75 red, white and blue helium filled balloons all around the yard. All our family and friends were here to join in. We all held a balloon or two, Vinny(one of Frank's best friends) made a toast to Frank, Michele(frank's girlfriend) said a few beautiful words to Frank and to all of us and of course there I was again with the strength from Frank to speak once again. Here is what I said----
Dear Frank: Oh boy here I go again--6 months later and I am still writing to you. Frank, I miss you very much. Everyday begins and ends with thoughts of you. I know you are here with us everyday and are watcing over us. We didn't have enough time together but I am thankful for the 27 years we did share and I am thankful that you got to see both of my children who I know always made you smile. You are an important part of our lives and we are here today to celebrate your life, your humor and our love for you. This tree is for you Frank--feel free to sit by it anytime day or night. These balloons that we will let up to the sky today are all for you--catch them and be happy knowing how much you are loved!!
At that point we all let the balloons go to the sky to get Frank. They looked so beautiful and I know Frank received all of them. We all took pictures in front of the tree. it was a memorable day and a beautiful day. thanks to everyone who joined us. On Frank's 28th birthday, "the guys"(Frank's friends) all came over to sit by the tree and bring Frank a gift. Angelo(another good friend 0f Frank) bought 2 Pearl Jam cd's to put on the tree. Everytime when I would come home from work on Wednesday night the air would be quiet and still yet I would hear the windchimes ringing. I know Frank was greeting me home. When we went to Hershey Park we also bought him a windchime from there. There are two plaques on the tree. One says "What the caterpillar thinks is the end of the world the butterfly knows is only the beginning" The other has his name, birthdate and "Angel date"(an "Angel date is the date that the person passed away--thanks to Heavenly lights I can now refer to that terrible date with ease). There is also a picture of Frank on the tree for all to see. The pictue I used for the tree and for the memorial mass cards has a huge story behind it--it was funny. I will tell you all abou it. Here goes---We went to Sears to take Family portraits for Aunt Honey's 60th birthday(by the way she loved them) anyway we were there for hours and Frank had plans that night with his friends. It was a Friday night after all!! We all went My mom, Dad, Jimmy, Amanda, Aunt Debbie, Uncle Booby, Bobby, Joey and myself--Yes Frank a real "Bundy family" outing. By the way Nicholas was not born yet. After staying at Sears for a few hours, we decided to go to eat at Applebees. Frank didn't have his own car so he had to stay with us. Oh boy was he mad!!!After we left the mall was closed so we had to exit at the other end and walk all the way around the parking lot to get to our cars. Frank walked ahead of us with Bobby and Joey like he didn't know us. When we got in the car we were all laughing!! There goes my memories again. I used that picture for his memorial cards to send him to heaven laughing. I hope it worked. Anyway back to the tree after all that is the name of this story!! This year for Christmas we decorated the tree with green and blue ornament. Amanda put santa, snowmen and candy canes all around. We decorated the bench with green foil paper like a present. We used green of course for the JETS. Oh did I forget to mention we have a bench by the tree?? Sorry. We put a bench there so we could sit and talk to Frank. Details--details--hey I can't remember everything!!! I promise Frank--I will continue to decorate the tree for every occassion and I will keep you all updated with pictures on the site. My tree brings me a comfort that I can not explain. When Nicholas sits by the tree, he always says "Hi Dude" and Amanda always says "the leaves are waving to me it must be Dude" and I know it is him and that he is there.
Christmas / Castles / Painting / Thank You /Chemo Angel
Light a Candle / Heavenly Lights memorial