November, 1996
Feature
Alexia Clarke:
Zulaika Considers the Connection
Of Looks and Self-Esteem
By Zulaika Jumarelli
When I first began researching this article, it seemed to me that girls struggled more than boys with their self-esteem. We are in a constant state of change emotionally and physically during our teenage years. We are born and raised in a competitive world which encourages tying physical appearance to self-worth.
As girls, we are brought up with an image of what is beautiful from early childhood. We learn that bigger than Kate Moss is imperfect. Magazines, billboard ads showcase 98 pound, 5'10" models with perfect hair, skin, and teeth. Even the barbie dolls we played with reinforce society's idea of what is beautiful. I never have seen a chunky barbie!
In high school, if we're not the most popular, we may feel like outcasts. "If you don't have a certain style or act a certain way, you could be labeled as corny," said a female student at Central. In my eyes, if you don't follow the trends, or fit a style, you're just not as cool as one who does.
Lack of self-esteem may contribute to the prevalence of teen pregnancy. "Some guys will say anything to get what they want from a girl, and if she doesn't feel that she's worth the wait, she could break under that kind of pressure," explained another female.
Most girls I interviewed believed girls suffer more distress about their physical appearance than boys, because as one girl points out, "Guys are not really pressured by society to live up to a standard of physical appearance."
On the other hand, after investigating boys and learning how their confidence wavers, I'm not as harsh. It was revealed to me that some guys have some of the same problems as girls. As much as some guys try to hide it, they pine about their looks as much as girls. Most boys aren't dying to be ten pounds thinner, but emphasis is still put on physical looks and ability. "A lot depends on the guy," said one lad, "but if you don't have good qualities, you won't get girls." A guy who is not an all-around jock is not as popular as one who is.
Males are beginning to reveal their insecurities, as opposed to years ago, when being vulnerable was considered unmanly. A few guys said that rejection can make them feel bad about themselves, especially when traditionally, they are put in the position of making the first move. After being rejected by the opposite sex, self-esteem declines.
My opinion has changed after interviewing males and seeing their side of the story. Both genders, especially during teenage years have self-esteem problems, but the important thing is that we accept ourselves, flaws and all! It is not cool to think you're all that, but it is even worse to go through life hating yourself. Even if you don't fit a perfect size 3, or you don't score a touchdown in every game, it is important to be yourself, whoever you turn out to be.
