RF: So, tell me, when did you both get your starts, and how did you end up as a team?

Dawkins: I started in June of 99 after training with Biff Scroggins in Daly City, right outside of San Francisco. After dominating, naturally, I ended up in the FWA in November of 2000, and when I went back in February, I drew the shortest straw, and had to team with Punk.

RF: Is that right Punk?

Punk: Yeah, that’s right, if by right, you mean, complete bullshit. First off, I got my start at the All Pro Wrestling school in Hayward, California, same place as like Erin O’Grady,, who is Crash Holly now, and Vic Grimes and Michael Modest, who’s ass I will kick the next time I see him. As for Dawk, he likes to give me shit, but really, he needed a buddy, so I, being ever-so-compassionate, took him on. Actually though, we really just met up, and realized we had a lot in common, and it was a good fit. He’s a real creative guy, I was still starting out and finding my nitch; he helped me find it in a big way.

RF: Ok then...you guys were a lot different from any other team ever seen in the FWA or anywhere for that matter...did you set out to be so much different, or was that naturel?

Dawkins: It was natural, of course. We looked around and saw a bunch of the same old crap. Guys drinking bottled water, threatening to "Kick my ass," and pulling hair back into ponytails became the very BORING norm. So me and Punk Daddy decided that, like the NON slutasses we are, that we were gonna show 'em the error of their ways, and make 'em see the frickin light.

Punk: Yeah, and if it wasn’t the pretty boys, it was the dark, spooky, gothic fuckers. And they always got the push. We showed up and made a mockery of their gimmicks, and while it pissed everyone off, it opened some eyes, and we showed them that gimmicks aren’t necessary for a real bad ass.

RF: So this personality, the funny words like slutass and spidernuts and hella, these were words you used outside of the ring and off TV?

Dawkins: Of course dude. There's a different dictionary in NorCal, just like there's a different one in SlutternCal. We have our own code, and we just took it national.

Punk: We aint actors, dickslap.

RF: What do you think of these comparisons of you two to Edge and Christian, of the WWF?

Dawkins: Who?

RF: Well Dawkins, you know, former tag team champions Edge and Christian, you had to have met them during your stint with the WWF?

Dawkins: Ooh... you mean the ring crew? Yeah, they used to tell me how much they loved the way I talked. Then those frickin bastards ganked my style; what a bunch of slippery sluts.

Punk: Lemme set something straight, seriously. First off, I never knew those two dudes were doing that gimmick when they were. I wasn’t watching WWF TV at the time, I was too busy. But if you did a check up, as I did, you’d notice that we were doing our thing before they were. Calling us rip-off’s makes no sense. Besides, ask anyone who really knows us…we are just being ourselves.

RF: I see...and how was that stint with the WWF Dawkins?

Dawkins: It was pretty fun actually. I didn't do TV shows often, and it was only Shotgun Saturday night, but it was fun for what it was; just a chance to hone my craft... I hella honed it, too.

RF: Let's talk some more about the first run in the FWA....you had a feud with the Cali Kliq....what made you go after them and start this "interstate feud?"

Punk: Well, we turned around and saw these morons, clad in their snakeskin cowboy boots and fake tans and pony tails, trying to depict what a Californian is like. We had to let the world know that, unlike those goons, a real Californian doesn’t look like a late 80’s porn star, and doesn’t have their lame attitude.

Dawkins: It's the rule of the state, man. I was actually surprised that two real Southern Californians like Tyler and Aberle didn't know about the feud. We had to defend our hella sweet half of the state. And besides, Aberle was lame.

RF: I thought you claimed they weren't real Californians, like, they had immigrated there?

Dawkins: Of course we claimed that, because they didn't know the rule. We didn't have any legal proof, but sheezay, we knew dude.

Punk: There was no way they were originally from California, hell, they called Nor Cal “No. Cal,” that’s proof right there. Maybe they moved to California, but they weren;t for real, I don’t care what anyone says.

RF: Did bad blood develop there?

Dawkins: Yeah. After one show, I was walking by Aberle, and he called me a "ripoff." He felt that me and Punk had taken our schtick too far, and that we were now ripping him off as well. Words were shouted, and then some other guys split us up. Aberle and I didn't talk too much after that.

RF: What is your response to that claim?

Dawkins: It ain't copying it if it's off a fake, cause if it's fake, it was never even there to begin with.

Punk: Rick Tyler was actually pretty cool. I always liked Tyler anyway, great wrestler.

RF: How about when you, Dawkins, beat Oliver Twisted and he retired shortly thereafter? You pissed off a lot of people with those claims, didnt you?

Dawkins: Yeah, but you know, they like worship these old school FWA guys. It's like you're pissing on someone's grave when you say "I retired Twisted." I still get little sluts leaving notes under my door saying "No you didn't!" Get a life, it's JUST WRESTLING.

Punk: Yeah, and then he sent his kid after us, which didn’t work to well either. But really, we had a shitload of respect for Twisted, he never seemed to get that. He was too bent over the way we didn’t still kiss his ass after running him and his kid off.

RF: Yeah, you developed a feud with who you termed "the good ol boys" how did they react to that, and how did you manage to come out on top after that?

Dawkins: Because, I'm not a sucker, man. I don't EVER go into a situation that leaves me over my head. The "good ol boys" hated being called that, but it's like not being liked to be called "Mister Cool." It's STILL gonna happen cause it's STILL the truth.

Punk: And don’t get us wrong, we, or at least I, always thought that Nightmare treated us good and did a fair job running the fed, but for a long time, he always leaned toward his old partners when dealing out a push, and we finally had to stand up and let them know that we’ll call bullshit anytime we see it happening. What were they gonna do, fire us? Yeah right!

RF: and a lot of them left...then you Dawk, defeated Jonny Platinum and went on to win the World title, Punk defeted Damon Hybrid for the IC title,and then you went on to become tag champions...what kind of response did that get backstage?

Punk: I think Nightmare took shit for that, for not “spreading the wealth.” The fact is, we set out to win the tag titles, and were handed singles shots, so what the fuck? We went ahead and won, for the simple reason of pissing people off. And you know what? It worked.

Dawkins: A lot of people were upset, claiming that we should have to drop one of the titles, but funny thing, no one could ever beat us, even when EVERY show ended with the JerkOffs clearing the ring of eight sluts, the Die Nasty.

RF: Yeah, the Dynasty, I remember them, that was pretty pathetic how the FWA hire-ups organized a group to take you two down and still couldnt get it done. Tell us about when Nightmare turned the fed over to Chomp, and why it closed shortly thereafter.

Dawkins: Well, I could bore you with my thesis on Smarticine Q being in the water in NorCal, so we'll just say, we always win, that's why the Die Nasty couldn't get it done. It closed because Chomp tried too hard to get the titles off of us, and he force fed Titan 3 and Black Lightning, even though no one gave a crap about 'em.

Punk: And he expected too much help backstage. I think Chompynuts is pissed at me cause I let it be known that he was a shitty Prez, which I stand by, but don’t get me wrong. He’s a great dude otherwise. But just look at his track record as a Prez and some of the loser’s he’s pushed…

RF: So the next time you joined up, it was in the RWA...what happened there?

Dawkins: Well, I had been working in the RWA for a few months, and Boyce, the Jefe there, wanted more teams. So I had him call Punk up, and a deal was worked out to bring him in.

RF: I heard Punk went storming out of the RWA, and left a few people pissed on the way out?

Dawkins: Well, Punk lost a championship match to Damian Storm over there, and it was due to some shady officiating. So Punk walked out right after, and told Storm, the ref, and Boyce that they could kiss his ass.

Punk: Getting jobbed to someone who is not only not as good as you, but flat out sucks, is embarrassing, especially when you bust your ass for the fed. So, it might have been bitterness, or whatever, maybe I should have not said as much, but I’m an emotional dude. I spoke up, and have no regrets.

RF: And then you both wound up in the ESW, where you pulled off what might have been the shadiest shenanigans of your careers....tell us about the luchadore angle and the Mark Wilder situation?

Dawkins: Aww, do we have to? I mean, hasn't enough been said?

RF: Well, now that you arent on TV, and in a different setting, and it has settled down a bit, i was hoping we could get the real scoop.

Dawkins: Alright slut, but this'll cost you. Pretty much, we had a deal with the boss over there that he would NOT admit to having signed me or Punk to contracts, and we wrestled as Sancho and Chingon, with me being Chingon. We'd hassle Wilder backstage, calling him names, and then call him out to a fight in front of the cameras. We even got Anarchy (when he was just a wrestler) in on it. So when we finally unmasked, Wilder was pretty pissed off.

Punk: He was HELLA pissed. Haha, I guess we misjudged his sense of humor. To our credit, we apologized, numerous times, admitted it was sneaky and fucked up, even in front of the whole fed, but he wouldn’t accept. We could only apologize so much.

RF: What the hell does Sancho and Chingon mean anyway?

Dawkins: Chingon, more or less, is the dude that we would call a bad ass mother fricker, retard.

Punk: Sancho is the dude who’s bangin’ your ol’ lady behind your back, guey.

RF: Ok, so then the FWA got started back up...how are things there now?

Dawkins: I have no idea, man. It seems that we close every other week, re open, have a pay per view, and close again. Wake me up when the FWA runs consistently for two weeks.

Punk: (Laughing) Same shit as far as the jealousy toward us goes.

RF: What was your take on the whole Anarchy/Nightmare/Chomp situation?

Punk: Anarchy went way overboard on Nightmare, but Chomp demanding he hand over the fed to him was ridiculous. PA has done a good job otherwise as the leader of the fed.

Dawkins: I thought I was in the third grade again. Everyone calling each other names, then others coming in to help talk some smack. It was frickin ridiculous.

RF: I heard a lot of people were getting pissed off at you guys again backstage, about the way you do your promos and such? what is that all about?

Punk: I think maybe since they aren’t at our level, they have to question the way we handle our shit. Nah, seriously, they all take themselves too seriously. If we think you are lame, or are doing lame shit, or even want to drop a hint as to how to improve you promos and image, seriously, we’ll say something smart-ass.

Dawkins: Apparently, they don't appreciate when we throw little jabs at them that are supposedly just "inside jokes" or whatever. Like, if Cliff farted backstage, I'd go out there and say something about it. These guys can't take it, so they piss and moan to Anarchy, and they all try to run in while we're wrestling. All cowards.

RF: and Anarchy caves in?

Dawkins: Sorta. He kept talking to me about toning it down, but screw that. Everyone in the FWA is over 18, cause that's the age you can wrestle legally. That being considered, why doesn't everyone just let their sack drop and be a man?

RF: Haha, I see...so, now you have made a heel turn...is this a change in character, or a sign of you guys being bored?

Dawkins: REAL bored. It's not a change in character, it's us being pissed off at all these new sluts coming in, whining to Anarchy about what we say, and how we do business. They wanna be little kids, then there needs to be someone using discipline. Sad as it is, we're the disciplinarians. Screw 'em all, they're horrible anyways.

Punk: Not all of them, there are some good guys still. STAA still has it, this Ashton Steele dude seems to have a future, Somers and Blazer are legit even though Blazer takes himself WAY too seriously. But they can’t handle the way we are so successful, yet it doesn’t matter to us. They want what we have SO much, yet we could give a shit, really.

RF: I heard a rumor that you were harrassed by Jared Blazer through phone or email or something? Any truth, or just rumors from internet kids?

Dawkins: Just internet rumors. We had a run in at the hotel Sunday night, and we exchanged some words, but I ain't gonna divulge. A girl can't tell all her secrets now.

Punk: (Coughing a real loud, "fake" cough).

RF: Damn....that said, tell us about your careers overall....who have been your toughest opponents, both single and tag team?

Dawkins: My toughest singles opponent... either Habachi or Platinum. Habachi handed me my first defeat, and just ruled the world. Platinum was when the Brews finally broke through on the Good Ol' Boys. Platy was a good guy though. Tag team... We had a good feud with The Syndicate.

Punk: Jonny Platinum was my first big match and defeat. He was a legend. Dagon as well…we had some issues, but good guy, emotional too, greatest dark guy I ever saw. Nightfall was tough too, and of course, Damon Hybrid fuckin RULED. And yeah, the Syndicate.

RF: Wasnt that Punk's girlfriend? HBC?

Dawkins: Yeah, that's when the feud died, cause one half of the JerkOffs became immasculated.

Punk: I had a steady piece, he didn’t, he’s jealous cause his action at the time was smelling these two fingers.

RF: Haha...true?

Dawkins: No way, I had met that one chick, Lubri, and before that, I met this chick named Vasalina, they were great.

RF: HAHA. Great. So, who did you guys look up to growing up?

Punk: Sting, The Hitman, and of course, the greatest heel of all time, “Ravashing” Rick Rude. Ricky Steamboat ruled as well, and Curt Hennig, but the greatest of ALL time, is Ric Flair.

Dawkins: Yeah right, Bret Hart, bottom line. I loved Hogan, too, but Bret Hart is, was, and always will be my hero. And Demolition ruled the world, as well.

RF: Can i ask a few personal questions before we end?

Dawkins: Aiiiiiiiiight.

RF: What kind of music do you guys truly listen to?

Dawkins: Punk and glam, punk and glam. I dig some country, too. But you're bound to find a Bon Jovi cd and a NOFX cd in my car all the time.

Punk: Punk, metal, trashy country.

RF: What's your favorite movies?

Dawkins: SLC Punk is great, and the Rocky Quintology of Greatness. Big Lebowski is pretty shibby, too.

Punk: Resevoir Dogs rules, as does the Godfathers, and who can forget ANYTHING with Stifler?

RF: Is In N Out Burger REALLY that great?

Both: YES (with very serious looks on their faces).

Dawkins: (Drinking a Lipton Brisk) I can't believe you'd ask me that. Do you think I'd hawk any product I didn't believe in?

RF: What about this reputation you guys have for drinking and womanizing on the road?

Dawkins: Legendary, isn't it?

RF: And tell me, do you really mean to gain all these enemies, or do you actually respect most of your fellow wrestlers in the FWA?

Dawkins: I have a base respect for anyone that gets in that ring. That's a given. But if you're gonna be a priss, then that's the ONLY respect you get from me. Professionally, yes, I respect everyone. Personally, I could care less about most of 'em.

Punk: Same here, except, I could care more OR less. I mean, we can make friends with anyone on a personal level, but since everyone is so intimidated or pissed off by us, no one bothers to get to know the real us. So whatever. Ask around, anyone who has gotten to know me probably can’t say too much bad.

RF: Are you two ever going to have a match, the match that everyone wants to see?

Dawkins: Nah, cause I think if I kicked the crap outta his fruity ass, I'd get arrested for a hate crime.

Punk: Dawkins likes having the spotlight, he knows he’s ruled for this long cause I haven’t challenged him. Why wouldn’t he want the match to never happen?

RF: Come on...you guys have no problem kicking the crap out of Cliff Blood and Tyler Durten, why not each other?

Dawkins: Because, when you build your rep on doing stuff to piss people off, why not ALWAYS keep that ONE thing that pisses everyone off? That way, even in forty years, people will STILL be saying, "DAMN! That match would've RULED!" And me and Punk will be home somewhere, laughing our asses off.

Punk: Yeah, really, we don’t need to fight each other. We’d just end up pissing EVERYONE off at the end, and trust me on that.

RF: Oh...I almost forgot...of all the guys you have wrestled and have been in feds with, who was your favorite guy?

Dawkins: Tommy Levi's my best friend, so either him, Bachi, Punk, or Cliffy. Durten's alright, too. But Levi's been my boy for a while, and it sucks that he cut out.

Punk: “Mr. Vegas” Damon Hybrid. The guy was LEGIT. The only “good ol’ boy” who got a raw deal from the bookers, I think. They should have pushed him to the moon. I wish he’d come back.

Dawkins: Oh yeah, word on that. He was doperriffic.

RF: Ok then, thank you gentlemen for your time.

Dawkins: No problem, slut.

Punk: Your turn to by a round, jank.