$$$Well it seems our dear, Mr. Luciano has decided to remain a "silent" partner. He must feel the same way we all feel when he decides to speak, annoyed. He must be annoyed that he sees Mr. Sane and I emabrassing him day in and day out as he sits on a coutch at a local Y with a 40 ounce of Malt Liquor and a bag of Lay's chips, bald and fat because you know that "you can't have just one". Ah, but alas, there's more "news" to report. It seems Mr. Sane's "partner" has decided that he has become fed up with this backstage politics. he's decided that he's better off along with Mr. Luciano on the couch of the neighborhood Y. But let us not forget that despite the loss of Mr. Simmons, Mr. Sane still has a FWF Tag Title Royal Rumble to wrestle, in addition to the IN Title match. Ah yes, Mr. Allen and Mr. Glore, Mr. Chaos and Mr. Sexton, Mr. Lombardi and Mr. Hunter, Mr. Patriot and Mr. Fry. So many teams, for one man to handle, but then again, that man is Mr. Sane. "The Franchise" of FWF if you will, despite what our dear friend MISSLE says. You see MISSLE, you can talk trash about how Mr. Sane has never beat you, but name ONE time MISSLE, when you have beaten Mr. Sane...CLEANLY. Please MISSLE, enlighten me because, as I stand here, preaching to you, I cannot recall a SINGLE moment when you have beaten Mr. Sane without the aid of a foreign weapon, an interference on your behalf, or a distraction, such as a boring mutant and A.D.D. sidekick with a name out of Charle's Dickens. So please MISSLE, inform me and I shall rescind my claims, but until that moments, you shall forever remain, a PAPER champion.$$$
$$$As the view fades in you can see a light brown. As the view zooms out you see that the brown is part of the road and you begin to see light spots of gray lining, rocks, you presume. As you stare at the brown, surrounded by a dark green grass, spotty in areas, a large block of black speeds by. Suddenly the screen flashes white and you can see inside the black box, a car to be exact. You see the backseat, pattened leather. Sitting on it is Justin Sane and Lil Person surrounded on each side by one man in a black suit, white shirt, black tie, and sunglasses. You look towards the front seat and you see two men, both dressed the same as the men next to Justin and Lil Person. Justin looks paranoid, again.$$$
Justin: Hey, Lil Person...
Lil Person: What now Justin?
Justin: I think these guys are in on it.
Lil Person: In on what? Please don't say...
Justin: The conspiracy.
Lil Person: Oh for god sakes Justin, give it a rest. You already got us relocated to god know's where and know you think these government agents are "in" on the "conspiracy" that's out to get you?
Justin: Of course. I mean, look, all the guy wanted was passes to see Jim Harper. Now think about that? How real can that be?! No one is THAT...
Lil Person: Justin, shutup and quit being paranoid. You're disturbing all of us. Isn't that right?
Front Seat Guy: Yes, it is. Mr. Sane, you're annoying us all and this is a long ride so if you could please quiet down, it would be greatly appreciated.
Lil Person: See? He just wants you to shutup.
Justin: I still think he's in on it.
Lil Person: And I still think that we didn't land on the moon, but is George W. going to come up to me and give me a medal for proving that the government's been scamming us for 20-some-odd years?
Justin: I don't know George W., so maybe.
Lil Person: Ugh, just shutup.
$$$The car remains relatively quiet until the man in the front seat speaks up once again.$$$
Front Seat Guy: Ok, Mr. Sane, we're only a few miles away so it's a good idea for me to "brief" you on your new identity.
Justin: New identity?! WHO THE FUCK SAID ANYTHING ABOUT A NEW IDENTITY?! I JUST WANNA GET AWAY FROM THESE FUCKIN CONSPIRACISTS AND YOU WANNA GIVE ME A NEW IDENTITY! SEE THIS LIL PERSON?! I TOLD YOU! HE'S IN ON IT!
Lil Person: Justin, do you KNOW what relocate means?
Justin: Move?
Lil Person: Yes, AND...
Front Seat Guy: You recieve a new identity Mr. Sane, in order to keep your whereabouts hidden more easily.
Justin: Ohhhh, ok. You got me scared there for a minute. I thought you were going to deliver me to my evil twin.
Justin: Yes, Mr. Sane, of course. Now, as I was saying...Your new name...
Justin: Hey, can I choose my new name? I've always wanted to be be called...
Front Seat Guy: No, Mr. Sane, you may not choose your new name. Your new name shall be Joey Joe Joe Joe Bob Jakes. Your occupation...
Justin: WAIT A SECOND! THAT'S A FUCKIN HICK NAME! I AIN'T NO HICK...YO!
Front Seat Guy: Ahh, but you are now.
Lil Person: HAHAHA! You're a hick!
Front Seat Guy: Your name, Mr. Person, is Jake Jack Jeff Jordan.
Justin: HAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU'VE GOT FIVE FIRST NAMES! HAHAHA!
Lil Person: SHUTUP! What the FUCK kind of name is that?!
Front Seat Guy: Mr. Person, I don't make the names, I just inform you of them.
Lil Person: And you couldn't have MAYBE picked a better name for us?!
Front Seat Guy: No, sorry. Now, as I was saying, you shall both be aspiring male prostitutes.
Justin: WOOOO! PROSTITUTES!
Lil Person: Justin, we don't get Prostitutes, we ARE the Prostitutes.
Justin: WTF?! ARE YOU ON CRACK BOY?! WHAT KIND OF FUCKED UP IDENTITY IS THIS?!
Front Seat Guy: Yours, Mr. Sane. Now, if you need any background information you can find it here.
$$$The man from the front hands the duo two manilla folders, but never turning around. Justin and Lil Person glance through them.$$$
Justin: ...Fingering through papers... Born and raised in everglades of Florida...Raised by alligators...went to Michigan State...WTF?! MICHIGAN STATE?! WHAT THE FUCK?! NO ONE'S GONNA BELIEVE I WENT TO MICHIGAN STATE!...You're insane!
Front Seat Guy: Of course, Mr. Sane, of course.
Lil Person: So where is this place exaclty?
Front Seat Guy: Arkansas.
Justin: Arkansas?! Please don't tell me...
$$$The car passes a sign as Justin looks out the window...Welcome to....$$$
Justin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Front Seat Guy: Little Rock, Arkansas.
$$$The car pulls into a trailer park and slows down as the mutants, midgets, and misfits gather around. The camera fades.....$$$
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