$$$So, it seems as if the FWF roster can agree on a few things after all...Jim Harper is indeed a homosexual, Dave Marlow is the biggest cocknut since Pauly Shore, and as a wrestler in FWF, your sole purpose is to screw the best, most TALENTED men and women out of their certain victories. The latter seems to be an outstanding motif here in FWF and as stated MANY times, we will not stand to let it happen. We, Mr. Sane and I, will not stand by as the very best of the crop are not given the same treatment as those with their hands and heads in Mr. Marlow's pants...Oh, but wait...what's this? A...TITLE shot?! Is our dear Mr. Marlow delirious with sick, twisted, and illusory fantasies of Mr. Sane "thanking him" for his generosity?! Or has he spent a bit too much time englufed in the fumes of gold cleaner? These are truly questions for the ages...What? Thought we were done? Oh no my dear boy, not by a long shot. Now, it seems as if the bad-mothed, ill-tempered, and fowl smelling Mr. Luciano shall be the opponent for Mr. Sane this upcoming Teusday and he brings his International Title to the table. Now wait a second...the last time the IN Title was in the picture, Mr. Endbringer and Jimmy were involved along with WWC7, and we all know what happened then. So, is there any doubt that this time the same end result will occur? Is there any doubt that Mr. Sane shall walk out FWF IN Champion for the SECOND time?...I didn't think so.$$$
2:43 A.M.
Unknown
Unknown
$$$As the view fades in you can see nothing but a dark black. It consumes the area around you as you search for something to hold on to. As you search, you run your hands across a smooth surface. Suddenly, your hands run across a bump in the table. Your feel over it, as it too feels smooth. A light fades in from the background and everything becomes blurry. Your eyes focus in and you look down and see a manilla folder, papers hanging out slightly, in front of you on a wooden table. Your hands reach out and begin to open it when two foreign hands reach in and grab the folder, packing everything into the folder. You turn and see a circular table with a light hanging over it, dangling by a wire. You glance to your right and follow the hands as they move towards the table, tossing the folder into the middle of the table. The man sits down on one side of the circular table and you look around the table to see a man opposite him and a man to his left, but no one to his right. A voice comes from the darkness.$$$
Voice: Where the hell is he?!
Voice: I don't know!
Voice: Well you should. He called this fucking meeting after all.
Voice: He thinks that he can just do whatever he wants.
Voice: Well someone better set him straight because if they don't, this is never going to end.
Voice: Well why don't you tell him since you seem so sure of yourself.
Voice: What do you think I am?! INSANE?!
Voice: Quite possibly, Johnson.
Johnson: Listen here, OK, I don't have to take this and the fact is, now that I think about it...that jackass could walk in here right now and I would beat his ass to the floor!
Voice: Shut your stinkhole and go join the View, you gossipy Susan B. Anthony rugmunching tunafish dyke.
$$$You hear a door slam behind you and brush of cold air sails past your face as you feel a large, muscular arm rub up against you. You hear a chair's wheels rolling as a seat moves out. You then see the fourth chair bee filled as a pair or large, well defined arm appear on the table. One reaches for the envelope and you move closer to see exactly what's on it. The words THE INSANELY STUPID FILES.$$$
Voice: So, you wanna tell us why we're here, or are we all just going to sit here quietly at 2:30 in the fuckin morning?!
Johnson: Yeah, I mean, this better be important for you to call us here.
Voice: Shut your face cocknut. I'll explain why you're all here when I feel like it.
Voice: Listen, you better tell us now or else we're walking out now and we're pulling all of the funding from this project! Right, Hansen?
Hansen: Yes, Harris. If you continue to call meetings at ridiculous hours and refuse to divulge information to us, we will pull the money right from under you legs.
Voice: Listen you three, you want to pull funding? Be my guest. But remember, my Persian, cockfeinding pedophile of a camera man is worth more than all three of you. So it's your decision.
$$$You move to your right, trying to examine what the contents of the folder. As you move, the larger arms begins to open the folder and slides it to the middle of the table once again as photos and papers lie in the open.$$$
Voice: Gentlemen, this is the problem. Word has surfaced that he has returned.
Harris: What the?! WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED?!
Voice: Shut your piehole. I'm informing you now.
Johnson: Sir, with all due respect, this man is very dangerous. We must...
Voice: Dangerous?! I already jackassenized him! How dangerous can his monkey ass be?!
Harris: You saw what happened last time! HE'S A MAD MAN! IF WE DON'T STOP HIM THEN ALL HELL WILL BREAK LOOSE!
Hansen: He's right Mr. D...
Voice: Shutup! I know he's right! But how dangerous can a midget, a fat man, and an logically challenged 'tard be?!
Johnson: Sir, you have no idea what a trio like that are capable of. They've commondeered a train by themselves, evaded and embarrassed the entire Cuban government...
Voice: It's fuckin' Cuba, jackass. It isn't that hard.
Hansen: But still sir, clearly, his power had been demonstrated over the last year, and ever since he evaded our last attempts to stop him, he's become even more dangerous.
$$$You finally get close to the folder and look in as you can see the pictures. You're shocked as you look in and see black and white surveillance photos of Justin Sane, Joey Rock, and Lil Person. There are countless photos and en more papers. Two arms reach out and grab the papers and begin to look at them. You glance at them. They read as follows...
NAME: Justin Sane
Hansen: So, sir, do you have a plan?
Voice: Of course, but for now, let's watch.
$$$Suddenly, a light flicks on to your right, you think. A TV screen begins to light up and you can see a city street, packed with people as usual. You see the three particular people, however. You see The Ensemble walking down the street, hands in pockets, Lil Person on the right, Justin in the middle, and Joey on the right. Justin seems worried.$$$
Lil Person: Is everything okay, Justin?
Justin: I don't know. It feels like we're being watched.
$$$You look around the room as the hands begin to rub together, all four pairs of them, as if each of their owners has a plan. You begin to make your way out of the room as the camera fades.....$$$
OCCUPATION: Wrestler/Fighter in FWF
ACCOMPLICES: Joey Rock and Lil Person
ACCOMPLISHMENTS: TWO TIME FWF Hardcore Champion, FWF IN Champion, Possible FWF World Champion
DANGER: Knows too much; Must be taken care of in order for plan to succeed
You back up as the four men begin to talk again.
AND STILL YOUR F'N CONSPRIACY VICTIM!
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