[???]As the view fades in, you stand in a doorway, staring at yourself, or at least your reflection. The television set lies in front of you and is reflecting your personal image. You walk up to the TV and kneel, looking for a button. You begin to run your hands across the bottom of it, trying to find a specific function. As your hand moves across, you find it. You press your hand againt the black sliver, standing out of the flat surface. The television lights up and you stand up, satisified. You stand there, looking down at the glowing screen as it warms up, for a few minutes and then proceed to step backwards. You take a few steps and feel your leg hit something solid. You look behind you to a green couch with the remote control on top of it. You reach down, pick up the remotre and move it to the arm rest. You then proceed to wipe the crumbs off of your seat and plop down in front of the TV. You begin to flip through the channels, not finding one with a show you like. As you flip, you realize that you've passed the show you wanted to see. You flip back a channel and sit back, satified with your choice of programming. As the camera moves towards the screen, showing only it, you sit back and take a sip of you beverage. A man behind a desk speaks.[???]
Man: Welcome back to the Daily Show, our next guest is Just Sane from FWF and I'm getting word that he has yet to show up.
Voice: Calm your ass down, I'm here.
[???]As you sit there, a dulled down version of "Paranoid" begins to play as Just Sane walks into view and sits down next to the man.[???]
Man: Well, welcome, good to have you here.
Sane: Shutup. Ask your F-BLEEP-ING questions.
Man: Whoa, somebody had one to many pills this morning.
Sane: Listen jackass, if it wasn't for some son of a bitch contract, I wouldn't be here now.
Man: But, there is a contract, and therefore you are here. So I'll ask, you'll answer and then we can go on with our own lives. Ok with you, ass clown?
Sane: F-BLEEP you. Ask the f-BLEEP-ing question.
Man: Whatever, so I understand that right now you are in FWF, and currently involved in a little spat with a man named Gary Brown.
Sane: Spat? Spat?! YOU CALL MY UTTER AND PUTRID HATE FOR THAT MAN A SPAT?!
Man: Hey man, calm down, I just read the teleprompter.
Sane: You want to know how I feel about him?! DO YOU?! Well, I'll tell you. I want to take his neck and slowly squeeze the life out of it until he screams for his mother. Then, I'll take his arm and slowly snap it half in two centimeter inervals. And I'll do that with every single one of his arms until he screams and crys and yells.
Man: Jesus christ. You're one sick bastard.
Sane: DID I SAY I WAS FINISHED?!
Man: I'm guessing that would be a no.
Sane: SHUTUP! And you see, that's not all. After his limbs are limp and his lungs are crunched, as they drag him to the back on a yellow strectcher, I'll take him back into the ring and I'll hold him high above the ring and then I'll let go. I'll drop him and watch as his limp body crashes against the concrete and I'll laugh as the blood pours from his body!
Man: Into medievil torture, I see.
Sane: ...(Staring into the man's eyes)...
Man: Riiiiight. Ok, well, getting away from your obvious distaste for Gary Brown, it says here that he's no the only one on your plate.
Sane: No, you f-bleep-ing idiot. You think that I'm actually concerned with those two?! They're a joke. A laughing stock. You see, I need not concern myself with such fools such as them because I know that this is a setup. I know that he's going to try and screw me over. He's going to try to get to me before I can get to him.
Man: You know, I was wondering something. Have you ever considered being checked out for labotomy scars?
Sane: What's that supposed to mean you ugly whore?
Man: Damnit, mother said she wouldn't tell!
[???]There is a silence in the crowd as he stares at the man. You sit there, trying to find the meaning of the joke, but you can't.[???]
Man: Tough crowd in here tonight...Ok, anyway, we have a clip of you in action. Would you like to tell us what we're going to see?
Sane: No.
Man: Ok, let's roll it.
[???]The scene fades from the show to a clip from last Saturday. You sit back as he is shown battling Deke Carter. Jim Harper's voice comes over the sound system.[???]
Truth Master: NO DAMNIT! NO! DEKE YOU SCREWED UP! SANE'S BEATEN YOU! YOU IDIOT! YOU SUCK! I DON'T KNOW WHY GARY EVEN PUTS UP WITH YOU!
Jim Harper: You better pay attention buddy. Sane isn't done! He's getting a table. He throws it in the ring and Deke Carter is still down! He's setting it up in the corner and now Deke is getting up! Sane goes after him and nails him with a few punches to the head. He's bringing Deke Carter over to the corner and...YES! HE'S GOT DEKE IN POSITION FOR THE IMMEADIATE IMPACT THROUGH THE TABLE!
Truth Master: SANE! DON'T DO THIS! YOU'LL REGRET IT!
Jim Harper: For once...SHUTUP BUDDY! DO IT SANE! DO IT!...YES! HE DID IT! IMMEADIATE IMPACT ON DEKE CARTER THROUGH THE TABLE! THE FANS ARE GOING INSANE!
[???]The view slowly fades from black as you sit there, still on the couch. He is still sitting on the couch, now scowling and the man behind the desk looks confused.[???]
Man: You seemed a little hostile there.
Sane: You think you f-BLEEP-ing asswipe?! That son of bitch ruined my shot the week before. He screwed me over and you expect me to be a nice guy to him!?
Man: Haven't you ever heard the song "We Are The World"?
Sane: You're a f-BLEEP-ing moron. F-BLEEP THIS! I'm outta here!
[???]You yawn and quickly grab the remote, flipping the channel to find something more interesting. But still, you wonder, how long will this public embarassment go on? How much longer will he be forced to entertain morons like that fool? The camera fades....[???]
Jim Harper: I don't think so Truthy! Sane is getting up right away and he takes Deke and throws him off the ropes...BACK BODY DROP! AND HE'S NOT DONE! HE'S GOING FOR IT AGAIN! SANE'S ON THE TOP ROPE...DEKE IS UP...HE TURNS AND SEES SANE...THERE IT IS! REALITY CHECK! REALITY CHECK! SANE WITH THE PIN...1...2...3! SANE WINS!
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