"Jump Around" by House of Pain

::...Narration...::

(Strange Quiet...Odder Words.)

Sanarrator: "I'm assuming that your recent tirade was meant to scare The Franchise, correct? Are you trying to throw him off the trail by leaving oblivious clues and contradicting yourself with nearly every word? Or do you just PLAN on being an idiot the entire time you reamin in secret? Perhaps, you should pack it up, because facts are facts...you haven't 'scared' The Franchise before, and you won't do it any time soon. So do us all a favor and show your cowardly face before The Franchise shows it HIS way."

(Laugh.)

Sanarrator: "So Louden..do you have an answer for me, yet? Or are you still the coward you were born as? Would you like to express your side of the story, or are you too afraid of the utter abuse from The Franchise and myself to do so?...You can't deny it Louden...no matter how hard you try...you won't hurt The Franchise...you can't hurt The Franchise...not because you're unable physically, but because you're incapable mentally...you couldn't see yourself cracking The Franchise across the jaw and watch the crimson blood spewing from his upper lip as it swells to a size thrice the norm...No, Brandon, your mindset is too simple for that...you're too much of a coward to dispose of The Franchise, and you couldn't change your mind if you tried which is why you have and always will be weak...you were IWF's weak link...you were HWA's weak link...and now, you're FWF's, and more specifically, Team Harper's weak link...which makes things all the simpler come Teusday...you, without even knowing it, have made this a 3 on 3...you've turned what was an advantage for yourself and Team Harper into a hindrance...you've forced a 4 on 2 handicap match made to maime The Franchise and Andrew Davis into a 3 on 3 made to show your true colors...Yes, Brandon, we've seen through your tough exterior and we've seen what the BHB truely is...a coward...through and through."

(Snicker.)

Sanarrator: "Ah, the Money Man, the same FOOL who thought it INTELLIGENT to mock the ONLY Narrator worth listening to. Perhaps, you too should pack up your belongings and jump ship to Hartnell's Wankers Association and do us all a favor, so we don't have to listen to your friend and his 'intelligible' conversation...I bet you found that hillarious, right? You thought that getting Brock Williams, of all people, to mock The Sannarrator would, in some way or the other, give you some advantage, and would tick off the Franchise, allowing you to be a sounder judgment, correct? I'm right, aren't I?...Ah, the incompetence I deal with while you and your friends try to find a way to defeat the greatest thing going in FWF...The Franchise and Andrew Davis...ah well, maybe you can find something...a hole, persay...a hole in The Franchise's, or my, 'armor' of words...maybe you can find a crack and exploit it to no end...proving The Franchise and I to be nothing more than overconfident morons...or you could stick your head into that bathroom of yours and clean up the mess that your copycat left after you fed him the same trash that you try to feed the public every time you speak. One or the other Money...one or the other."

(Sigh.)

Sanarrator: "Sitting back, on a Sunday afternoon can be quite interesting, especially when a man like Troy Huntley decides to 'attempt' to dent The Franchise's immaculate armor with your 'entertainment'. Yes, Troy, there's no dancing around this...YOU are NOT entertaining...in fact, I'd rather sit back and watch seals dry themselves on hot rocks than listen to you babble on with your incompetent servants and claim it as interesting...Can you understand that? Are you capable of deciphering such 'blasphomy'...perhaps you're right, Troy...maybe we are 'blasphemers' against you and your way of life...but then again...who actually believes of you outside your circle of friends? Hmmm? The way I see it...no one outside of the Harpbreak Seal, and the rest of Team Harpersexual has ever recognized your way as the right way...so are we blasphemers? Or are we simply speaking the truth? You doubt myself, The Franchise, and Andrew Davis, but what have you done to prove us wrong? The last time The Franchise was in the ring with you, he demolished you until no end, yet, for some odd reason, you can STILL claim that your way is the only way of life...a life filled with Harper, Brock, and homeless servants who have trouble with two syllable words...oh yeah, Troy...what a perfect life...just...perfect."

(Last Breath.)

Sanarrator: "Mock us Brock...please do...continue on with your utter 'genius' and watch us fall on the floor in laughter. I mean, please Brock, we TRIED to help you once upon a time, but you turned us down...not the other way around...but wait...you are right...that is the past, and it should stay that way...in the past...so let's concentrate on the present...in the here and now, you, Brock Williams, have the intelligence equivalent to mentally disabled goldfish....in the here and now, you have the competency of that of a an amoeba...in the here and now, you have as much of a chance at beating The Franchise as HWA has at being successful...So, are you satisified with the here and now or would you rather return to the past where you didn't have to worry about The Franchise embarassing you because you had him 'in your pocket'?...Please Brock, you want to concentrate on the present, then you stand less of a chance now than you did 3 weeks ago in that 'dire' HWA...because facts are simple, and apparently you refuse to comprehend them, because they state on simple fact...The Franchise has grown, Brock...he's grown to become the very thing that identifies this company...he has become the wolf in a pack of mindless conformist sheeps, such as yourself...moving where ever The Harpbreak Shepard tells you...he is the very basis of which this company lives and dies on...don't believe me? Want to bring up the fact that he has yet to hold the world title? Well, then be my guest, Brock...because you will see that not only has The Franchise gotten as LITTLE chances at that title as possible, but every single time that The Franchise has gotten a shot at the coveted gold that you once called 'yours', he's been cheated...those aren't lies Brock...they're facts...and facts are truth...and frankly...Truth Hurts."

(Fin.)

::...Here And Now...::

...As the scene fades in, you can see him sitting there, in the back of the I-slam Mobile. The two back doors are swung open and he's sitting off the trunk, his head down, some type of animal costume behind him. his black slacks are smacking against the truck in a heavy wind, and his black stretch t-shirt looks to be wet from his sweat. The hot sun above is beading down on him and he doesn't look too pleased as he lifts his head up slowly....

Justin: I guess we're different Brock...I guess we cherish different things...differently...maybe the fact that you've won 1/10th of the matches you've wrestled has changed your opinion...but the fact is...the winner in the ring doesn't matter...it's the man who walks out able to say he beat someone's ass that matters and the facts are simple Brock...you were the one who got beaten to a pulp on Saturday...you were the one who was acclamated to The Franchise....and you were the one who was licking his wounds after the match...meanwhile...I was in the back laughing it up...I was driving home, unscathed seeing as I had beaten everyone's ass...I sat in bed, and was able to move around with out rolling in pain...so maybe you are right...maybe we are different...but perhaps that's for a reason...perhaps its because you were destined to always be a failure while I was destined to overcome all the odds and prove all of you wrong as I raise the World Title high above my head...but wait...you won that very same title, didn't you, Brock?...I don't believe I ever congratulated you on that one...congratulations...on counting your own pinfalls...yes, Brock, while you be a "licensed" referee...it's quite sad that you had to count your own victory for that world title match of yours, what, a week before Cyberslam? And how did you get into that Main Event, Brock? Did you earn it? Oh certainly not...you were in the same match with Deuce Deamon for christ's sake...you got there because you were on the Corporate ticket...you didn't earn shit...and wait...didn't you lose that title a week later to one, Dave Dexter?...You see Brock...by your rant and rave about mental and physical victories, you've proven nothing but the fact that you are simple useles...you serve no purpose to me but a punching bag...no purpose to Jim Harper but a bean bag...and no purpose to the fans but the butt of every joke...so you see Brock...your countless attempts at proving your self-worth have done nothing but fail miserably and your latest is no different.

...A solemn look overtakes his face as he looks deeply into you. His pants crackle in the wind as he speaks to you....

Justin: I'm surprised Brock...that would stoop as low as to find someone on the street who has the same dislike for me as you...just to "mock" Sanarrator...well, congratulations...you've proven mine, and Sanarrator's point...you have the mind of a 3 year old, Brock...your intuitions are childish and so are your actions...you felt cold and alone because everyone had realized how USELESS you are so you found someone who shared the same feelings as you...Sane-Hate-Or...how qaint Brock...how very quaint...perhaps, next time, you can forget some local joe and just interview every single person in FWF on their feelings about me....you'll get the same answer, because facts are simple Brock...everyone hates me...not because they have a valid reason to...no, because they're afraid of me Brock...they're afraid of what I can and will become...they're afraid that I might break too many standards, that I might break from the norm...I'm too different for them and they can't handle it, so they tell me they hate me and they tell me I'll never make it...hell, they even screw me over just for a good laugh...well Brock...I'm not Jimmy Harmon...and NO ONE is going to hold me down forever...not you...not Sane-Hate-Or...not Gary Brown...NO ONE...and before you know it, I'm going to be shoving my boot down Team Harper's collective throats...and then, while I stand high above the ring, my hands raised high, you'll be on your back, once again, asking yourself if it was all worth it...whether you really "won"...because frankly...right now...I could care less about the match...I simple want to kick your asses...I'm sick of the Corporate entity running wild around here and you, and your immature friends are the first step, and I have NO PROBLEM with losing that match on Tuesday if it means I get to send a message to Jim Harper and JD Lawson in the back...On Bomb, Brock...it's not about simple winning or losing...it's about making a point...to you, to Money, to Huntley, and most importantly, to all those fuckin' Sane-Hate-Or's who have some fucking problem with me because I don't fit their bullshit ideals...so Brock, I hope you're ready for more than fight on Tuesday....for your sake.

...A look of rage retakes his face and he seems quite upset. He doesn't want to stop now....

Justin: Brock...it's become quite apparent to me that you don't like me...and it should be quite apparent to you that I have an utter disgust for you as well...but let's get one thing straight...it wasn't you, nor ANYONE ELSE that moved me up the FWF ladder...oh no, Brock...I did that all on my own...but yet, you seem so sure that it was you who said, "I picked your ass up off the opening match and into the spotlight", perhaps you need to be straight about this...I was above you since the day I met you...yes, that's right Brock...May 12, 2000...our first tangle...and who came out on top, again? Oh yeah...me...so I ask you Brock...where did you go after that match? HWA?...Hmmm...Where did I go? Defeats of Jimmy and Shaku Endbringer? The International Title? And later...World Title shots, PPV Main Events?...And where were you this whole time?...HWA?...It makes you wonder Brock...how could you have made me after I was the one who moved up after our tango and you were the one drowning on the HWA mid-card?...Can you answer me that Brock? Can you still, after all of that, honestly tell me that you made me?...Can you Brock? Can you really? Can you still claim that you were still "above" me...that you still had and have an "advantage" over me? Well Brock?...No, you can't, and you can't dispute that either, because while I'm getting put into Main Events...you're getting dragged into them...and if it wasn't for blubber boy's dislike for me and love for you, I'd be flying high in the Main Event alone, and you'd be kneeling in the back asking Harper why he won't let you come out from under the desk...Yes, Brock, it's true...I surpassed you, a long time ago....and you NEVER EVER had anything to do with my success...in fact...you might be partially responsible for dragging me down...yes...you know it for a fact that if not for the fact that I had to carry the New Gunz...I would have been winning the World Title long before you even licked Hartnell's boot...The facts are simple, Brock...I have, and always will be THAT MUCH BETTER!

...As he finishes, a sudden yell comes from the side of the van...before long, Andrew Davis peeks his head around the van. Walking in front of Justin, he smiles....

Justin: Yes, Andrew? What would you like?

Andrew: Well, I was thinking...I-slam needs a new spokesmodel.

Justin: Is that so?

Andrew: Yeah, and I was thinking what we could do that would make us legit.

Justin: Perhaps, try not supporting Mark Jones?

Andrew: Na, that's our most popular item...but the Lesbians...

Justin: What about them?

Andrew: They're just not getting the audience.

Justin: ...sarcastically... Oh no, call me Willy and slap my arm, because I just didn't see that one coming!

Andrew: ...slapping Justin's arm... Willy!

Justin: ...sigh... You're not supposed to actually do that.

Andrew: But you said to!

Justin: It's just an expression.

Andrew: You should be more clear next time.

Justin: I'll try.

...Justin grabs a towel out of the back of the van and wipes his forehead. He looks at Andrew who's still standing there....

Justin: So what do you want?

Andrew: Well, I was thinking you could be our new spokemodel.

Justin: Get Dexter...

Andrew: He's booked.

Justin: Well then get I-Slam Al...it's in his freakin' name...

Andrew: He doesn't want to...he's afraid someone will invent an Al-Hate-Or...

Justin: ...sigh... So, what do you want me to do?

Andrew: ...rubbing hands together... I'm glad you asked...very glad...

...Andrew smiles deviously as the camera fades.......

...HERO...ICON...FRANCHISE...YOUR F'N ROLEMODEL...

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