"Jump Around" by House of Pain

::...Narration...::

(Nothing...Emptiness...Suddenly, something.)

Sanarrator: "So, a coward with an attitude has found it funny to try to run over The Franchise with a car, try to hit him with a beer bottle, and to cost him his match which he obviously had in hand until that fool screwed him. So you have to wonder, who could this man be? Could he be a 'hitman' or a 'lost soul'...perhaps, its merely a bitch with PMS. It could be anyone from Harper to the homeless man on the corner's college roommate's ex-fiance's brother. The facts are simple, The Franchise has a lot of enemies...not because he's pissed them off, because they are SCARED of what he can and will become...World FUCKIN' Champion."

(Breathe Heavier.)

Sanarrator: "So, it looks like The Franchise has to embark on yet another journey with his friend, partner, and confidante, Andrew Davis...Four on Two Handicap match, made by the Fat Man himself? No problem, right? Well, as great as The Franchise and Andrew Davis are, four on two isn't exactly easy, and you KNOW that Harper's going to do everything in his power to take out these two...especially after what happened to his 'little soldliers' on Showdown...speaking of which...did you enjoy that one, boys? Brock? Rain? We told you, Brock, that you'd be left bloodied and beaten, but did you listen to us? NOOOOO. Ah well, typical Brock...ignorant and stupid...perhaps, Brock, you can get your revenge Teusday when you have not one...but TWO...yes TWO extra men, Brock...do you think you can handle that? Do you think you can survive a handicap match? Or will you fail just like you always have everything else? Perhaps, Brock, you can prove yourself on Teusday, and we'll stop mocking your childish behavior and immature manurisms, or maybe, you'll find yourself at the bottom of the pile again and the butt of every joke because YOU blew a handicap match against The Franchise and Andrew Davis...It's all possible Brock...it's all possible."

(Deep Breath.)

Sanarrator: "Perhaps we should move on to the man that The Franchise and Andrew know oh so well, Branon Louden...well, it seems Brandon, that you have somehow found your way BACK to FWF...yes...BACK to FWF...remember your first stint? Your one night appearance? The alliance that was supposed to be? Or have you forgetten already? Have you forgotten how you turned your back of The Franchise for the 'fringe benefits' of HWA? I hope you enjoyed your time there, because coming to FWF, to The Franchise's territory was, quite possibly, the biggest mistake you've ever made...Or maybe not...maybe it was your comments of oh, nearly a year ago, when you were a pathetic rookie trying to make your way to IWF, when you decided to doubt The Franchise...maybe that, Brandon, was your biggest mistake. Maybe the fact that you started a war that you KNEW you couldn't finish was your biggest mistake...Seriously, Brandon...think about it? Do you think that The Franchise didn't notice you? Despite how miniscule you were ont he scale then, you weren't that small for long, and before The Franchise knew it, you were in IWF, and holding titles, with The Franchise as commissioner...and you thought The Franchise liked you...you were even going to be allied with him had he not been fired...but you never stopped to think about those comments, Brandon. You never stopped to wonder if maybe The Franchise never liked you from day one...Could he? Could he be that vindictive? Think about it Louden...Think about it...."

(Sigh.)

Sanarrator: "You would think, that after all this, we'd be done...but alas...The Harpbreak Kid has set another two opstacles in The Franchise's way. Two men...two titles...two...SPOUSES?! Haha, I must admit, that was one comical mishap...Huntley...Money...MARRIED? In..DEED. How do you two expect to be taken seriously when, not only are you...ugh...married to each other..., not only do you have multiple personalities...but the fact that The Franchise has WHOOPED you every time that he's faced you in a fair fight...(For Unfair Fight: See Tag Match W/ Jason Simmons as partner)...Ah, but still, these two jokes hold the Tag Titles, and why? Because they have earned it? No, because they have Harper on their side...because they can chear their way to a victory and still feel pround. Perhaps that's the Corpotate Way of thinking, but here, we consider things like honor, truth, and dignity to matter...three things that you two lost a long time ago when you joined that man with the leather moo-moo....Yet, you two both wear those titles like they mean something, but the facts are simple, and everyone knows them...except you two...those titles...the day you won them...lost all meaning...they have no purpose now, as they are just scrap metal which you two wear around you can call them honorable. Those titles have become a disgrace thanks to you two, and its time they go to someone rightfully deserving of them...The Franchise don't care when he does it...he doesn't care how he does it...but The Franchise is going to rip them from your sweaty palms and call them his own as you two are left just like the others...crumpled, bleeding, masses."

(Fin.)

::...To Quote A Brilliant Man: "Bring It"...::

...As the view fades in, you're confronted a darkness that you know oh too well. It's a darkness you've seen before...not the darkness of night, but the darkness of hatred...and he used to thrive in it...live in it...and so you begin to worry, frettingly trying to find a light...but you find none...until suddenly, one is provided for you, and you see him, half his face alone lit up by a single light above him, no smirk, no laugh, nothing..merely, a glare that could delve into the depths of Satan. A hot breath comes from his lips....

Justin: The tag team champions...what a pleasure...two fine members of Team Harper...and what a pleasure it shall be on Bomb to show you what a real tag team looks like...you know, one that doesn't need a child to help them win, like you had at Cyberslam...wait a second...didn't I already beat Money and was cheated out of my match with Huntley? Hmmm...yet, you two still claim dominance...Odd...quite odd...how you two, beaten, bruised, battered and whatever other synonym you two can think of, men can SOMEHOW claim to be better than The Franchise and Andrew Davis...yet, last time we were together in the same ring, two of your teammates ended in a crumpled mass in the ring...In fact, I believe they were acclamated to the truth...the truth that no matter what Harper and his homosexual henchmen try against us...we're still going to show you that we are the best thing going and always will be because we are simple better than you, smarter than you, and basically...we're competent...meanwhile, you two sleep with your tag titles, going on pointless escapades with the word FWF Tag Champions imprinted on your face and trying out a new personality ever day of the week...what is it now Money? Now you're going to make me a star? What happened to the rich thing? Didn't work out? Or Troy...still battles those extreme deamons? Perhaps you two should see a therapist...and wait...weren't you two MARRIED to each other?!...What a fitting pair...it brought a tear to my eye...it really did...in fact...I was NEARLY entertained...almost...perhaps this week you can try again...

...There's a slight smirk on his face as he breathes deeply. He glances down and the light over his head shadows his forehead....

Justin: So why did I save you, rigth Brandon? Why did I find it in myself to protect you from Andrew Davis? I could have just as easily let Andrew crack your skull open with Xtreme Measure, but no, I decided it best to protect you....but once again...the question returns...WHY?...Perhaps you already know...maybe you've known for quite some time and merely don't wish to say...the facts remain that YOU are in the spotlight here...not me...if I had saved you, and no more, than I would be the one under the magnifying glass...but no, after you REFUSED to hit me in that hit and run by Team Harper...it's you that everyone's looking at. Everyone thinks I'm just a crazy man who can't tell what he's doing...they EXPECT me to so something crazy...but you...you Louden....you're not supposed to care for anyone...yet you do, and you did....you saved The Franchise...if you had hit him...who knows what else would have happened before Andrew came to my rescue...that one punch could have killed me...although the chance is small...it's still there...so you, Brandon Louden, the Big Headed Bastard, that man who I once called a student...back in the days of I-Dubb...are the one everyone's looking at for answers and frankly, I can't wait to hear them.

...You can hear him sit back as his head partially dissappears from the light. Only his chin and mouth are no visible, but his mouth continues, knowing its what you crave....

Justin: Ah, The Brocksta...the same man who claims victory over me...yet...who did you pin, my friend? Who did you BEAT? You beat GLORE...not me. In fact, I had the match won until this "friend" of mine decided to bud in...the coward that he is...but anyway...I had Glore tapping...I had the match won and I had basically beaten you when I hit you with the Reality Check...so how do you justify this as a win Brock? If you look at the facts...I did nothing BUT DOMINATE...I kicked both of your asses and then you took credit for my victory...so tell me, Brock...how does that account for "bragging rights?" Hmmm? I mean, I thought we wrestled in a world where you had to actually PIN them to have actually gotten bragging rights over them...yet, as I stand here, today, you INSIST that you have proven your superiority over me, and have gone as far as to say that I, The Franchise, "reak of suckiness"...wow Brock, that is such an intelligent observation...perhaps they should give you a nobel prize for your BRILLIANT speech on how I "reek of suckiness"...I mean, wow, that was just so intriguing...I almost found myself staying awake during it...but almost DOESN'T count....just like ALMOST pinning me doesn't count...so please, Brock, if you're going to TRY and brag about beating me, at least try to pin me first...it's only fair to you, me, and the public, because no one wants to hear you ramble about a man you've yet to pin. Alright?

...Suddenly, as he stops, the room quickly becomes illuminated, and you notice that you're in some type of large convention room, yet there are only 2 people there...Justin Sane, and Andrew Davis. Justin is sitting down and Andrew is in the middle of the room playing with a balloon. There's balloons and stringers all over the place...it's like your junior prom all over again....

Andrew: Are you done yet?

Justin: No, I was NOT done...thank you for ruining the mood...

Andrew: Well, I could shut the lights off again for you to continue...

Justin: No, there's no point in that, you ruined the whole atmosphere...

Andrew: Well then get up and party!

Justin: Why?

Andrew: Because...it's your BIRTHDAY!

Justin: ...sigh... Do you have to remind me?!

Andrew: What's wrong with that?

Justin: I hate this...because every year, someone throws some big stupid party and I get all these horrible gifts.

Andrew: Yeah, well that's why I didn't invite anyone this year.

Justin: ...sarcastically... Even better...no one to talk to but you.

Andrew: I know! Isn't it great!

Justin: ...sarcastically... Oh yeah, I'm jumping up and down with excitement.

...Justin rubs his forehead and sighs as Andrew begins to try to walk on the balloon...yes...we know...Suddenly, POP! Andrew becomes upset....

Justin: What's wrong, Andrew?

Andrew: My balloon popped!

Justin: Yeah, so?

Andrew: SO?! SO?! THAT WAS MY FAVORITE BALLOON!

Justin: You just got it 15 minutes ago.

Andrew: So?! What's your point! It was a really cool balloon!

Justin: They're balloons!

Andrew: But that one was different!

Justin: How?! You had them all filled and designed the EXACT same way. How in God's name are they different?!

Andrew: Uhhh...because...that one was...errr...BALLOONS! WOOOOOOO!

...Andrew dives on top of more balloons and loud POPS are heard as Andrew tries to float and walk on top of them. The camera fades with Justin near tears.......

...HERO...ICON...FRANCHISE...YOUR F'N ROLEMODEL...

«««FADE 2 BLACK«««

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