"Jump Around" by House of Pain

::...Narration...::

(A Dark Room...A Voice.)

Sanarrator: "Maybe I looked at things all wrong. Perhaps, it's really not Jimmy and Gary's fault that thier every word causes involuntary narcolepsy, or that the American goes screaming into the night at the mere mention of a 'Hitman' or 'Mr. FWF' promo. You think? Could I have been wrong? Or was I merely following that feeling inside, not quite a conscience, but that little voice inside your mind telling you what you should and shouldn't say. Hey, perhaps it is a conscience. Perhaps, its morally wrong to watch Jimmy Harmon spread his lies and to see Gary Brown speak in circles for hours at a time. For the last time, Gary, we KNOW that you're The Hitman, and we know you CLAIM to be The Franchise, there's no need to repeat it...over and over and over...I mean, please, we're trying to keep ourselves at attention while watch TV. If we want to sleep, we'll ask for Endbringer promos. But, seriously people, did you ever consider that? Did you ever wonder if it really is morally wrong to watch something that constantly 'dumbs down' the American public? Is it a mortal sin to actually enjoy Jimmy Harmon's bland humor? Obviously, or else, he'd be World Champion. 3 years Jimmy? It's alright, don't cry...Now, could it really be the 'wrong' thing to do? Does that make The Franchise an angel for denouncing them? Does that make me a genius for embarassing and making them look like fools? Or does it just point out how useless and pathetic the 'Hitmen' are? Ah well, no matter what the case, the facts remain that Gary Brown and Jimmy Harmon will no longer be allowed to continue their heinous acts of monotony after Wednesday, and we ALL know what that means....now don't we?"

(A Pause.)

Sanarrator: "Ah, but quite possibly, all of my advice has been overlooked. Gary and Jimmy could have merely ignored me, as most do, but the facts are simple, as I do not lie. Gary and Jimmy are OLDER than most men here in FWF...they are WEAKER than most men here...and they are DUMBER than most men here...Not to knock them, but facts are facts. You can't deny the truth, and you certainly can't deny that. We must be able to speak the truth, in order to the be considered good men, and so I do, as does The Franchise. Yet, men like Gary Brown and Jimmy Harmon deny us this, claiming that we are the liars, and that we spread false truth about them and their careers, when we do nothing of the sort. They claim that word of their "weaker" traits have been fabricated on our part in order to entertain. Well, my friends, we do not need to lie to entertain...we simple speak, and millions are captivated, while you are still trying to find someone willing to be a payed customer to your attraction."

(A Final Break.)

Sanarrator: "The facts are simple, my friends, and you cannot deny them. You do NOT matchup wellwith The Franchise, nor do you matchup well with Andrew Davis, both on paper, and in crunch time. It's an undeniable fact that you can't get into your skulls. It is...TRUTH."

(Fin.)

::...The Truth Hurts...::

...As the scene fades in, you can see that you are staring at a blue sky, the sun on the horizon. Looking down, you notice that there are clouds BELOW you and you come to the conclusion that you are quite high in the air. As you step back, your view shrinks, you begin to see the plastic outline of an airplane window. As you move further back, you see that one more man is staring out the window, specifically, him. His eyes seem focused on the sun on the horizon. A slight sigh comes from his bright lips, and you are mesmorized by him, as he knows you're there, but won't acknowledge it by a simple glance. Without warning, a soft whisper flows from his lips, enlightening the day....

Justin: You're right, Gary. Why, oh why, did I cross you? Why did I have to mock you, abuse you, torture you? Why did I have to point out that you've got more digits in your age than in your social security number? I guess I just wasn't thinking...right, Gary?...Or then again, maybe I never did cross you. Maybe, I never did SHIT, and it was all your fault. Did you ever consider that? Yes, Gary, it was your fault. In fact, all I ever did was compliment you, but you couldn't take that, right? You couldn't take that a young man, very similar to yourself at that point, was COMPLIMENTING you. Oh no, Gary, we could never have that. So, YOU ruined it. YOU attacked me. YOU started it all, not I. All I ever did was try to be like you, and be like one of your students that you "took under your wing". Except this time, you couldn't handle me. I wasn't a rookie on my way to a hardcore title reign...I was a superstar on my way to a World Title reign, and that shocked you. It shocked you that I had gotten that far without your help, so you screwed me, you robbed me, and you know what? I don't blame you, for jealousy is an act that one can not help but be consumed by once the opportunity provides itself. In fact, I'll let you off the hook for everything that happened. I'll let you off the hook for Insurrection, for End of an Era, for those months of torture following, and for January Blizzard, but Sunday night, I'll NEVER forgive you for. No, Gary, Sunday night will haunt me forever, because I had won. I made JD tap, and you saw it. You watched while you were "knocked out" and did NOTHING. Well, Gary, for all the screwjob victims, I say this to you and your kind...You 'bout to get knocked da' FUCK out.

...Glancing towards you, his angelic face stays fixed with the rage of revenge. He takes a deep breath, and wonders whether this is all worth it, whether he's doing the right thing, and whether he's going to survive all of this, and then, it hits him, and he lights up, not with smiles, but with advice, with evidence, and with common sense....

Justin: It baffles me how one man, can be SO untruthful...how one man can lie so much, that in one day, the number of untruths he has told, total to that of a small country's. But we've known this for quite some time, haven't we Jimmy? Perhaps you should stop trying to prove yourself on the mic by saying you are "not" a liar, and prove those lies about your opponents to be truth, by handling them in the ring, but that would be too hard for you. Jimmy Harmon, work? Jimmy Harmon, try? Jimmy Harmon, win? BAH! Never! We'd see Shaku Endbringer back here before we'd see Jimmy Harmon actually work hard. So, perhaps, Jimmy, you should think about it all, and put it all in perspective...your lies, your "talent"...all of it...step out of yourself and watch yourself...think about yourself, and then think to yourself...what am I, really? What have I done, really? Who have I beaten, really? The truth is simple, Jimmy, you never were, and never will be a champion. You are forever condemned to a life of servitude to "green" rookies from the Power Plant who need an warmup match...oh, and speaking of the Power Plant, didn't you spend a little time down there, to "refine" your skills? I remember it quite well...in fact...I remember that your very tag team partner was the one who put you there...yes, Gary Brown, sent YOU, Jimmy Harmon, Mr. FWF, to the FWF Power Plant to ring toss with the rooks. Ah, the truth...have you enjoyed it, Jimmy? Or are you still reeling from the last time? Either way, you face the same fate as The Hitman...yes Jimmy...You 'bout to get knocked da' FUCK out.

...Finally, as he stops, that same piercing noise from before returns, and this time, you see a phone, hung on the wall next to Justin, literally shaking off its hinge. Reaching, Justin picks it up and, knowing who it is, sarcasitcally remarks.......

Justin: Yes, Andrew?

Andrew: How'd you know it was me?

Justin: Lucky guess.

Andrew: Heh, well, I'm a smart man.

Justin: Of course, Andrew, of course.

...Silence consumes the rooms for moments, until Andrew's loud voice quickly reverberrates through the phone...

Andrew: So, are you enjoying yourself?

Justin: I'm on a plane...by myself...with no movie...how much fun could I POSSIBLY be having?

Andrew: You should ask the pilot to let you fly the thing. I was bored once and they let me, but then all these buzzers started getting off and someone was calling it Mayo-Day...I guess he was hungry.

Justin: ...sigh... I'm not even going to ask, Andrew.

Andrew: Ask what?

Justin: Nothing, I just said I wasn't going to ask.

Andrew: Not going to ask about what?

Justin: I JUST said that I wasn't going to ask about the...UGH! Forget it.

Andrew: Forget what?

Justin: Don't start this again...

Andrew: Start wh...

...Before Andrew can even start, Justin throws the phone against the reciever, hanging up on Justin. He sighs as the view quickly switches to Andrew inside what looks to be a van....

Andrew: ...wondering... Must have been a bad connection.

...Sigh...The camera fades.......

...HERO...ICON...FRANCHISE...YOUR F'N ROLEMODEL...

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