"Jump Around" by House of Pain

$$$Should I just forget about it? Perhaps it's best if I just forget that it all happened, and that Gary robbed The Franchise for the SECOND time when it comes to the World Title. Oh, but that wouldn't be fair to JD. So let me extend this little warning to our close, personal friend, JD Lawson. You NEVER won that title, and you'll NEVER keep it...Ah, but let's not forget the purpetrator of this HEINOUS act. Yes, Gary, we're talking about you. We're talking about the same man who robbed The Franchise back at Insurrection and last night, as Wednesday Wreakage. Do you feel good about yourself, Gary? Are you happy that you ruined The Franchise's dream once again? Do you take joy in your blatant attempt at ruining one man's life? I bet you do, but why, Gary? Why? What did The Franchise ever do to you? Why must you torture him so much? You've got four world titles, why can't you let him have one? Is there something that he's done to you in the past that prevents you from liking him? If so, please tell us, we'll try to do MORE of it. Yeah, Gary, that's right...FUCK YOU. We're sick and fucking tired of your bullshit antics, and your backstage poltics. The facts are simple, you couldn't handle the fact that The Franchise was going to be champion, so you ruin it EACH and EVERY time. Well, Gary, you won't be around forever, that's for sure, so while you sit back, screwing him over every time, he sits there, waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Waiting for that next shot, so he can prove you wrong, by winning DESPITE you. He plans, he schemes, he thinks. He thinks about the winning the world title and shoving it in your face. He plans to pay you back, when you're in your moment of glory. He schemes to find ways to hurt you. Most of the time, you ran, but then, others, we sent you packing. Wednesday will be no different Gary...you will be sent packing...straight to the infirmary.$$$

$$$As the scene fades in, you see Justin Sane's large white mansion, resembling the white house. You move, closer, closer, and closer until you are inside the mansion. You now look to your right and your left, noticing that he sits there, in a chair, and adorned in the trademark black slacks and black stretch T-shirt. Rubbing his goatee, a devious grin spreads across his face, and he looks at you, that hurt in his eyes, but there's something else, something more. He mutters the words you've been waiting to hear.$$$

Justin: I'm not a failure.

$$$Finally, after the entire week, and despite extra loss in that column, he's upbeat, he's happy, he's not a failure.$$$

Justin: I don't care what Lawson says, what Brown says, what Harmon says, or what Harper's bisexual 3rd cousin says, I'm NOT a failure. I did exactly what I said I was going to do...I beat JD...JD Lawson TAPPED to SinSanity...meanwhile...I NEVER tapped to the Royalty Dose...But yet...I lost...perhaps Brown's thinking is by robbing me of my dream, he gains some type of advantage. Well, if that's the case, Gary, let me assure you this...you've done no such thing. In fact, you've dug yourself into a deeper hole, a hole you can't and won't get out of. This is more personal that January Blizzard, and I don't care that it's not in some Canadian Cage, or for some title...I only care about ONE simple thing...punishing you for your sins against me....You see Gary, I know you, I knew you, and I always will know you...I knew your mission was to come back and haunt me, to rob me, cheat me and that's exactly what you did. Was I surprised? A bit, but then again, I should have seen it coming. I should have seen the proverbial "screwjob" in the works. Who was I to think that the "great" Gary Brown would let his pupil win the world title? What a fool I was...but maybe this Wednesday will be different...maybe I'll finally get to show you that I have the stuff...maybe I'll finally convince you that I'm not a failure. You think, Gary? You think that could happen?...laughs...Without a doubt, Gary...without a doubt.

$$$He leans his head back, sighing. Laughing, he looks up at the ceiling. He glances back at you, and smirks once again.$$$

Justin: Maybe, I shouldn't be concentrating on Brown...maybe...I should be thinking about a way to take Harmon down...

$$$Justin sits there, trying to keep a straight face, but it's just too hard.$$$

Justin: BAWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! JIMMY HARMON! HAHAHAHA!......calming down... Perhaps...Jimmy...You shouldn't step up to the plate wednesday...after all, you don't even have the BALLS to mention my name...fucknut.

$$$As Justin sits there, a phone rings in the background...a man walks in, portable phone in hand, and hands the phone to Justin...lifting the phone to his ear...he listens.$$$

Justin: Hello?

Andrew: HEY! JUSTIN! IT'S ME! ANDREW!

Justin: Oh....hey......covering up reciver......I thought I told you to CHANGE my number!

Man: I did.

Justin: Then how the...

Andrew: ...muffled... Hey! Justin! You there?!

Justin: ...sighs... Uhh...yeah...I'm here...

Andrew: Good, I've got great news for you...

Justin: Is that so?

Andrew: Yeah! I know you're excited...

Andrew: ...waving finger in the air... Of course Andrew, of course.

Justin: Well...it all started out when I-Slam Al said...

$$$Andrew continues as Justin sits there, holding the phone away from his ear. Suddenly, Andrew's voice fades off and Justin sighs.$$$

Justin: Finally...

$$$Justin reaches to turn the phone off, when Andrew's voice explodes into the silence again. Justin rolls his eyes and holds it off, again...Finally, Andrew begins to scream for Justin.$$$

Andrew: Hey...Justin...you there?

Justin: Oh, uhh, yeah, I'm here.

Andrew: So what do you think?

Justin: Oh...ummm......thinking......it's uhhh cool?

Andrew: Oh, is that so?!

$$$The room becomes silent and Justin becomes worried, thinking he said the wrong thing, but then....$$$

Andrew: YOU'RE THE COOLEST!!

Justin: ...breathing a sigh of relief... Yeah, I know.

Andrew: So do you think he will?

Justin: Who will?

Andrew: Bush, silly!

Justin: BUSH?!

$$$Justin sits there, a confused look on his face. The camera fades.....$$$

THE HERO, THE ICON, THE FRANCHISE, AND YOUR F'N ROLEMODEL!

���FADE TO BLACK!!���



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