$$$So what, is it that time again? Time for that "this is it" speech? The same speech I gave last on Wednesday? So you want to hear, what? You want to hear "This is it JD. This is when all will be decided." Is that that you all wanted? Are you all happy now? Maybe you should all realize that this "match" with JD Lawson is NOT the be all and end all. You want to know what counts? You want to know when it all matters? Then you turn on your TV, order Cyberslam 2K1 and watch the last match of the night. Watch the main event. See the sport's greatest competitors all in one ring at the same time. Then, and only then, will you see when it matters. As far as JD, it seems to me that the "KING" finally decided to speak up. It seems as if he was tired of hiding behind the children of the corn fields known as Jack, Rico, and Reed. Now JD, if you want to speak up against Justin and I, we hold nothing against you, but we ask something of you. Try to make us interested. Try to keep us entertained so we can stand you enough to put together more of our dazzling promos. If you continue to insist on your tiresome phrases and dare I say, boring conversations, then we, here at Franchise Incorporated reserve the right to formally ban you from the air. Yes JD, that's right, we will ban you from your own TV station. Now don't take offense to this. We are merely attempting to cleanse the air of such trash that clogs up precious air time for men like Justin Sane. Men like you and Trent Storm, however, use that air time, "claiming" to use it for "entertainment" when all you are really doing is sending the 3 simpletons watching into deep slumbers to which they are only to awake for feeding time. JD, don't think of us as cruel though. Think of us as revolutionaries. Revolutionaries purging the air of nitwits who don't deserve to be there in the first place, proving time and time again that they are...WORTHLESS.$$$
$$$As the scene fades in you can see a maroon color in front of you, as if the original color had been eroded and corrupted into forming this bond of rust and a light red. You begin to notice that this maroon is shaking, vibrating, actually. You begin to hear a loud buzzing as well and you can smell a FOUL odor. To you, it's as if someone mixed gallons of diesel feul and the body odor of a 400 pound man. You look up, noticing you're staring at the same pickup truck that Justin Sane and Norman had entered yesterday. You look and there they are, Justin looking nervous and Norman looking like himself. The glasses rest peacefully on his nose and ears. You look to your right and notice something you find rather disturbing. It's the same driver you saw yesterday, except the stench coming from him is almost unbearable. Justin seems to have noticed, as well.$$$
Justin: ...to Norman... Normy, do you smell that?
Norman: Smell what? I can sense no such smell.
Justin: Reach over me, you'll smell it.
Norman: ...sighs... If you insist.
$$$Norman sighs and then begins to reach over Justin. As he does, he too is confronted with the odor, send him sprawling back to his side.$$$
Norman: MY GOD! WHAT IS THAT?!
Justin: ...calming him down... God knows, but it's coming from Buffalo Bill over there.
Driver: What did you just call me?
Justin: Uhhh, Buffalo Bill?
Driver: I like that. That's my new name.
Justin: Wouldn't your parents be upset that you changed the name they gave you?
Buffalo Bill?: My parents? I ain't seen them since the great abduction of 94'.
Justin: The abduction of 94'? What did someone kidnap your parents?
Buffalo Bill?: Yessa.
Justin: Who?
Buffalo Bill?: Aliums.
Justin: You mean Aliens?
Buffalo Bill?: Yeah, Aliums. God, you big city types just don't pay attention.
Justin: ...confused... Riiiight.
$$$Justin turns to Norman, away from, uhh...Buffalo Bill and begins to whisper to him.$$$
Justin: Yo son, ask him about the abduction sizzle.
Norman: What?
Justin: Ma nizzle, wha' fizzle?! Da' abdizzle sizzle!
Norman: Did you just say eat at the Sizzler?
Justin: ....sigh... Yo dizzle, cappizzle the izzle befo' I tizzle the fizzle.
Norman: Justin, do you think you're black?
Justin: ...waving West Side sign... Fo' schizzle, my nizzle.
Norman: ...sigh... What did I say about this?
Justin: Yo gizzle, my bizzle tizzled ma' gizzle and bein a kizzle and all, da' cizzle was off da hizzle.
Norman: In ENGLISH.
Justin: Oh, I forgot.
$$$Norman sighs and begins to scold Justin on the problems of acting black when you're white when all of a sudden Buffalo Bill interrupts.$$$
Buffalo Bill: Alright, we're here.
Justin: ...confused... Huh? Here? What?
Buffalo Bill: Well from all your talking, I gathered you didn't really want to go to Spokanne.
Norman: Oh, really? So where did we want to go?
Buffalo Bill: Right here.
Norman: ...sighs... Obviously but whe......looks around......Dear god, this looks the "hood".
Buffalo Bill: Indeed.
Norman: Justin don't get out of the car. This man is taking us to Spokanne...Justin......looking outside......Oh no.
$$$Norman looks outside and sees Justin has SOMEHOW gotten out and is dressed in skyblue pants and a yellow and skyblue jacket. He's also wearing a light blue Yankees cap, backwards. SINCE WHEN DID HE CHANGE?!$$$
Buffalo Bill: Well, get out.
Norman: What?!
Buffalo Bill: Git. I got places to go!
$$$Buffalo Bill boots Norman out of the car and Norman lands on his ass on the sidewalk. Buffalo Bill closes the door and takes off faster than Robert Downey Jr. in a drug bust.$$$
Justin: ...helping up Norman... You aiight, son?
Norman: ...dusting himself off... Don't tell me you're going to start with that lingo again.
Justin: Yo kid, stop hatin' on da' style.
Norman: ...sigh... You know Justin one of these days......looks ahead to see a "gang" walking to them......Justin, hide!
Justin: ...walks..err..struts to them... Nah dog, chill.
$$$Norman runs behind the corner of a building as Justin struts up to the gang. They're all wearing the same colors as Justin. Wait a second....$$$
Man: Yo nigga, sup?
Justin: Notin' dog, just chillin.
Man: Aiight, you gots a reason for rockin' Cryp colors?!
Justin: Of course, nigga.
$$$Justin waves his hands in the air, making a symbol of sorts and then the man walks up to Justin and hugs him?$$$
Man: So you got a name, nigga?
Justin: Yea, name's Justin Sane, but ma' niggas call me The Funky Salmon.
Man: Aiight nigga, name's Nez. Dis here's Mike G, and dis is Terrell. Over der is Duane.
Justin: Aiight, aiight. Now Nez, you think you can help a nigga out?
Nez: Yeah, yeah, wha' you need? Nigga take yo spot? Trick out of line?
Justin: Na, na, I can cover dose'. I need yo help cuz my ride's busted.
Nez: Where you goin?
Norman: Get your hands off of me!
$$$Justin turns around to see Norman in the hands of a rather large man, struggling to get free. The large man drops him next to Nez and Justin laughs.$$$
Nez: Yo Salmon, you know dis' foo?
Norman: ...standing up... Of course he knows me! I'm his publicist!
Nez: Publ...WHAT?! Did dis' nigga just use a school word?
Mike G: ..pulling out 9mm... Nigga sho' did. Want me to bus' me?
Justin: ...pushing Norman behind... Na, na Mike, it's all good. Nigga's wit' me.
Nez: Aiight, so where you need to go?
Justin: Spokanne, Washtington.
Terrell: Yo nigga, dat shit be far.
Justin: Too far, ma niggas?
Nez: ...Smiling... Na, na, it's good, it's good. Just hop in nigga, we bout to ride.
Norman: Hop in? Hop in what?
Nez: ...pointing... Dat.
$$$A gray Cadillac pulls up and the entire group piles in. Justin follows, but Norman stays.$$$
Norman: No way am I getting into that. I know that smoke is mari...
$$$Justin reaches out and pulls Norman into the back seat. The car begins to move, bouncing up and down as it goes. Shades of "Gin and Juice" are heard as the camera fades.....$$$
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