$$$It saddens me, really. It saddens me that men like JD Lawson are given title shots constantly when each time, they blow them. It saddens me that men like JD Lawson are given air time to speak their mind and instead they choose to goof off in a an attempt to impersonate the greats, and let me just say, it's a POOR impersonation, my friend. However, we do have to deal with men like him and Trent Storm, but if we must, then we must also choose to forge forward when they decide to speak their minds. For example, JD Lawson seems to speak like we don't "understand," but I ask you JD...what is there to understand? What is so complex about your wasted time slot that we need to be Harvard Scholars to comprehend? Is it the complex sentence structure? Or perhaps its the sohpisticated words. Or, wait, wait, this is it, maybe it's the fact that you make so LITTLE sense that NO ONE can interpret a word you're saying! Ahh, the inadequacies of JD Lawson. It's so easy to find them, and that much easier to exploit them. Don't feel bad though JD, Shaku felt the same wrath last week as I thoroughly emabrassed him and made him look to have the mental capacity of a rodeo clown. Hey, there's an idea for you JD. Rodeo Clown, you could use that as your next personality. What would it be, number 45? You would think after so many of you failed, you would give up, go home, and sit on the unemployment line with Dave Marlow and Justin Goldman. Ah, isn't this fun JD? It gives me thorough enjoyment to see men like JD, Trent, and Shaku TRY and come back from my witty repoirtes. Ah, but I guess we all have things that we enjoy. Too bad no one ever told them they were no good at it.$$$
$$$As the view fades in, you can see black. You trry to find your way, but still see nothing but black. Suddenly, a blotch of yellow appears, blurred though. You rub your eyes, trying to get a clear view. Still, though, nothing. Suddenly, you hear something. You are shocked and taken back as it's the first sound you've heard in a long time. Gradually, though, you become accustomed to what you identify as honking and passing cars. You glance upwards, trying to see some sign of help. Your eyes, remarkably, begin to clear up and you notice where you are. You are surrounded by almost complete dessert. To your right is a highway, on which multiple cars are flying by. You look ahead though and see two men you recognize. Justin Sane and Norman are walking, looking famished, well Justin looks famished, Norman just looks, well, like Norman.$$$
Justin: ...wiping his forehead of one bead of sweat... My god, I'm almost dehydrated, how long have we been walking?!
Norman: It's been 20 minutes.
Justin: How the hell is that possible?! I'm almost dead!
Norman: You know, this could be a possible hint as to why you lost to Shaku.
Justin: Are you trying to say I'm out of shape, Normy?
Norman: I'm trying to say, that you might not be in the best of physical conditions because of a lack of training.
Justin: Wait, wait, what does that mean?
Norman: ...Snickering... Don't worry about it.
Justin: Damnit! Tell me!
Norman: Na man, don't worry about it.
Justin: ...getting in Norman's face... DAMNIT! TELL ME THE FUCKING TRUTH!....TELL ME!
Norman: ...getting in Justin's face... You want the truth?! YOU WANT THE TRUTH?!
Justin: YES!
Norman: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
Justin: I ORDERED THE CODE RED!
$$$Norman stops and stares at Justin, confused, annoyed, and just plain shocked.$$$
Justin: ...shrugs... It seemed like the right hing to say.
$$$Justin and Norman laugh and continue walking forward. Suddenly, the duo stops and Norman raises his arm and points down the road. Hitchiking?.$$$
Justin: So what's the plan again?
Justin: Well, since we're kind of broke...
Justin: BROKE?! SINCE WHEN ARE WE BROKE?!
Norman: Since I told you yesterday.
Justin: Oh yeah, right before those Trent Storms kicked your ass.
Norman: ...clears throat... Yes, yes, right before that.
Justin: So you want to continue?
Norman: Yes, and as I was saying...the plan is to...
Justin: ...shaking head... Uh-huh, alright.
Norman: ...clearing throat... Yes, well, since we're devoid of money...
Justin: ...panicking... Devoid from money?! That means we're poor!
Norman: Uhh, yea, now continuing...
Justin: Destitute...
Norman: Yes, but, going on...
Justin: Poverty-stricken...
Norman: Yah, but we must go over the plan...
Justin: Penniless! MY GOD!
Norman: WHAT ARE YOU?! A WALKING THESAURUS?!
Justin: ...Frowning... Meanie!
Norman: Yes, yes, of course Justin, but the plan!
Justin: ...Smiling again... Oh yeah! What is it anyway?
Norman: ...pointing finger... Promise not to interrupt?
Justin: Sine when did I interrupt you?
Norman: ...sigh... The plan is......waiting for Justin......
Justin: ...staring off into distance, oblivious... Oh yeah, great plan.
Norman: Justin, are you paying attention?
Justin: ...Shaking head... Oh yeah, of course man. It's a great idea.
Norman: ...Sigh... JUSTIN!
Justin: ...turning to Norman... What? I said it was a great plan. What else do you want from me? That cactus over there was getting ready to jack the other one for it's water supply.
Norman: ...mystified... What?!
Justin: See, the cactus on the left was wearing the wrong shade of green, so the one on the right got ticked off and wanted to cap him, but then the cactus in the back was all "Peace man," so both cacti jacked that one and capped him. Then, when the one on the left wasn't looking, the one on the right was about to jack him.
$$$Norman just sighs, but looks out at the road as he sees a pickup truck pulling up to the side of the road. Norman grabs Justin from staring at the cactus and follows in. Justin seems angry.$$$
Justin: Damnit yo! If you ain't careful foo' Ima' bus' a cap in yo ass!
Voice: You sound pretty.
$$$Justin turns to his right, wondering who said that. What he said, can only be described in a picture.$$$
Driver: So where ya headed?
Justin: ...clutching Norman... Who's that?!
Norman: ...pushing Justin off... That's the man who's going to take us to Spokanne.
Justin: ...Thinking... Spokanne, Washtington?
Norman: Yes, why do you question it?
Justin: Well, because last time I checked, we were in Oregon the other day.
Norman: Yes, and?
Justin: Well now we're in the desert. Don't you find that odd?
Norman: Hmmm...
Driver: Are you boys going to tell me where to go or am I going to have to eat you?
Norman: Excuse me, did you just say, "EAT YOU"?
Driver: Indeed I did. Don't think I won't. I picked up these two guys last week. One was a midget, one was this real fat Italian guy, and the Italian guy had a mouth, but he didn't taste good, too much fat. The midget though, was exquisite.
Justin: ...clutching Norman again... THAT'S LIL PERSON AND JOEY! HE ATE MY SIDEKICKS!
Norman: ...comforting Justin... Don't be ridiculous.
Justin: ...worried... But...but...
Norman: Justin, cease with this nonsense. Sir, we've got to get to Spokanne, Washington, by tomorrow.
Driver: No problem, but wait, did you say Washtington? As in the one up in the corner?
Norman: Indeed I did.
Driver: Oh? You know there was this big hulabaloo about some killing spree up there. Truth is they never caught the guy. It was like Saul, Satchel, Sagging...
Justin: ...worried... SAM?! SON OF SAM?! YOU'RE SON OF SAM?!
Driver: ...confused... No, I'm Son of Ezekiel, who was son to Isaiah, who was son to a camel...
Justin: A camel?!
Driver: Indeed.
$$$Justin sits up straight and laughs, noticing he's in the presence of TRUE idiocy. He stis back and relaxes, wiping the sweat off of his forehead. He looks forward as he speaks.$$$
Justin: This dude is starting to scare me. I mean what kind of person looks like a a chink but talks like a mental midget from the sub-state of Tennessee. Well, perhaps you can relate JD. After all, you do speak the language of the mentally challenged, but in today's society god knows you can't refer to someone as an "idiot", correct? Maybe you would rather be called the more politcally correct term, mentall challenged, or maybe mentally deficient. Or, maybe I could just say to hell with all of that "PC" shit and just straigh out call you the most idiotic and asanine fool since the likes of Gravestone and Big Red Scare. Ah, the good old days, right JD? The days when getting anally violated by two "legends" was "PC". Or is that CWA? You know, I can never tell the difference, probably because they're so similar. Wait a second, CWA, isn't that your backyard JD? Yes, I believe it is. The same place that raised such "winners" as Canadian Patriot, Trent Storm, Jeremy Riley, and Live. Wow, what a group. But being serious JD, do you really hope to oversome the odds? Do you really think that you, above all people, will be able to defeat The Franchise? Think about it JD. Think about all of YOUR failures. Think about all of YOUR mishaps. Then consider all of MY triumphs. Consider all of MY conquers. What do you see? When you put it all together, what do you see for the future? I, personally, see you, my friend, lying in the middle of the ring, bloodied and beaten. I see myself standing high above the ring as the fans erupt for their ONLY hero. Most importantly though, I see you falling into an endless pit of despair, including loss after loss after loss until you finally realize that nothing you try has and will ever work. Only then will you understand what the entire FWF and CWA have been trying to tell you since day one. You, my friend, are...WORTHLESS!
$$$The driver begins to look at Justin, with a strange glare. He moves his hand towards Justin, but Justin bats it back, yelling at him. The camera fades.....$$$
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