CaLViN QuoTeS:

"If there's more to life than this, I don't know what it is."

"Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know swear words."

"...either this is my lucky day, or I missed the end-of-recess bell again."

"There's no head rest on this chair! I should sue for whiplash!"

"Why should I have to work for everything?! It's like saying I don't deserve it!"

"It's not the pace of life I mind. It's the sudden stop at the end."

"I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal."

"I don't need parents. All I need is a recording that says: 'Go play outside.'"

"Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess."

"You know how Einstein got bad grades as a kid? Well, mine are even worse!"

"A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do."

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning."

"I'm a simple man with complex tastes."

" A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day."

"The secret to happiness is short-term, stupid self-interest!"

"Trusting parents can be hazardous to your health."

"In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks."

"I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction."

"As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway."

HoBBeS QuoTeS:

"I suppose we could try being GOOD."

"Your nose is probably all clogged up now, huh?"

"If you snore, I'm tilting the bed so you roll out the window."

"You're lucky tigers are so smart."

"Live and don't learn, that's us."

"The best presents don't come in boxes."

"I'll draw some stars to show pain and human suffering."

"I don't know which is worse, ...that everyone has his price, or that the price is always so low."

"So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they're already met?"

"First, your heart falls into your stomach and splashes your innards. All the moisture makes you sweat profusely. This condensation shorts the circuits to your brain, and you get all woozy. When your brain burns out altogether, your mouth disengages and you babble like a cretin until she leaves." — on falling in love

"Van Gogh would've sold more than one painting if he'd put tigers in them."

"If you couldn't find any weirdness, maybe we'll just have to make some!"

"There's more to this world than just people, you know."

[HoMe] [THe LaDY BeHiND] [CiRCLe oF FRieNDS] [MY WRiTiNGS] [LiFe oF a PRoFeSSioNaL BuM] [eNDLeSS YaKiTY]