TItle: Train of Thought
Author: Amanda / fraiser_jackson
Category: Dan/Jan (what else? *g*)
Rating: PG-13
Dedication: For my psychic_twin, on her birthday.
Summary: Well, you're talking in your sleep and the name that you whisper ain't mine...
~*~*~*~
He woke from his dream to find Sarah staring at him from the other side of the bed. "Who is she?" she asked quietly.
"Who?"
"Janet."
It was then that he realized his old habit of talking in his sleep had come back from out of nowhere. Tonight of all nights � when he had dreamt of Janet; her beneath him, her legs wrapped around his waist � had it decided to come back. It wasn't the first time he'd dreamt about her, but the dreams had never been as vivid as the one he'd just had. Perhaps that's why he had said her name.
"Daniel."
He realized he had yet to answer. "Janet is a friend. Dr. Fraiser. You've met her."
"Just a friend?" She sounded almost hurt, which didn't make sense to him, as the two of them had yet to become anything more than friends since she had come back.
"Sarah � "
She sighed and got out of the bed, wrapping her robe around herself. "Do you want her?"
"What difference does it make?" He sat up, watched her as she stood by the window.
"It makes a difference to me, Daniel. I thought there was a chance for us. But, obviously not, if you're dreaming about another woman."
He thought for a second before answering. "Sarah, I told you when you came back that I didn't want a relationship with you. I wanted to help you get back on your feet after what happened, but that's it. No more. I'm sorry if I've made you think otherwise."
"Then why have you allowed me to stay in your bed with you?"
"You were having nightmares in the room next door. What did you expect me to do, nothing? I still consider you a friend�I couldn't just do nothing."
She nodded slightly. "So there's no chance for us, then?"
"No." She tried to say something but he stopped her. "And before you say what you were just going to, let me just say that this has nothing to do with Osiris. We didn't work as a couple the first time and I don't want to hurt you like that again."
No one said anything for a few minutes as Sarah thought about Daniel's words. Finally, she sat back down on the edge of bed. "I understand."
"Good. And I really am sorry if I led you on in any way, Sarah. It was never my intention."
"I know, Daniel. But let me ask you something."
"Okay."
"What are you doing here with me when you should be with Janet?"
Isn't that the million dollar question, Daniel thought. "She, uh, has a boyfriend."
There had been a time, before he'd ascended, when he thought maybe, just maybe, he and Janet would be together. When Cassie was sick, he had offered her anything she might have needed. It was his subtle way of trying to tell her how he felt. But she never came to him, never needed anything from him.
So he did his best to forget how he felt, which was much easier said than done.
He still loved her, despite his best efforts to do the opposite.
During the months following Cassie's illness, he worked up the courage to actually tell Janet how he felt, not just try to show her with subtle hints and actions that she didn't seem to pick up on. He had to know for sure that there was nothing between them. Because not knowing was making him crazy.
And then it was too late. Kelowna happened and he never had the chance to talk to her, to find out her feelings.
But there had been moments in the time before his 'death' when he didn't think he needed to ask.
A touch here, whispered words when she thought he was asleep. He knew.
And he had wasted precious time.
He had checked in on her when he was ascended, as he had done for all of his friends.
He had actually been there when she happened to run into an old medical school friend who had just moved to the area. He just happened to move in down the street from her.
Once Janet started seeing Tony, Daniel began hanging around Earth more � checking up on her to make sure she was being treated properly. He could vaguely remember ignoring his ascended duties, whatever they might have been, to stop in and see her, knowing full well she couldn't see him and was happy with someone who wasn�t him.
It broke his heart to watch her with him, but yet he couldn't stop himself.
He'd been warned after he had tried to help Jack when he was captured by Baal that more interference in the lives of his friends, or any humans for that matter, would have serious consequences. He asked Oma what that meant � being forced to leave his life as an Ascended being, going back to his human life. That didn't sound so bad to him.
So when the time came for him to help SG-1 find the Eye of Ra, he welcomed it.
Upon his return to Earth, she was the first person he recognized. His decension had wiped his memories, but somehow he could still remember her smile. She smiled at him and he knew he belonged there, whether he got his memories of living there back or not.
His memories did come back, along with his feelings for Janet. And if he wasn't mistaken, they were even stronger now than they had been when he left.
But she was still with Tony, and from the looks of it, very much in love with him.
So he was stuck. Did he tell her how he felt, knowing that nothing would come of it, or did he just try to forget his feelings like he had before?
That's where he was now, and he had yet to make a decision.
"Daniel?"
Sarah's voice brought him out of his thoughts. "Sorry."
She laughed. "That's okay. You looked like you were off in your own little world."
"Yeah, I � " The phone rang. " � was thinking," he finished before answering. "Hello?"
"Daniel?"
"Janet?" She was crying, he could hear it. "What's wrong, is it Cassie?"
"No, she's fine. Listen, I know it's late � " Daniel looked at the clock � almost 2. " � but do you think you could come over?"
"Janet, what � "
"Tony and I broke up. He broke up with me," she interrupted. "He thinks I'm in love with you. I need someone to talk to. I need to talk to you."
His heart leapt in his chest and he had to resist the urge to jump for joy. He composed himself before replying, "I'm sorry, Janet."
"Like I said, I know it's late, but could you come over here?"
"Sure, I'll be there in a little while."
"Thanks. See you soon, then."
She hung up and Daniel did the same. He turned to Sarah. "They broke up. Janet and Tony broke up."
"That's great, Daniel. Now's your chance."
He grinned. "And I think it's a good chance, too. She said they broke up because he thinks she's in love with me."
"Then what are you still doing here?" she asked, laughing.
"I don't know! Okay, I'm going to go now. Sarah, I want you to stay here until you feel like you're ready to be on your own, and not before."
She nodded. "Thank you, Daniel."
"I'm glad you're back."
"Me, too."
He grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom to change before leaving.
~*~*~*~
When he got to Janet's house, he took a few deep breaths before getting out of the car and walking to the front door. She opened it before he even knocked and let him in without a word.
Her face was red from crying and she had a tissue in her hand. She led him into the living room, settling herself on the couch. He choose the arm chair to the side of where she sat.
"Are you okay?"
"Honestly, I think so."
He wasn't quite sure about that, given the tears she had obviously cried, but said nothing.
"It's weird," she continued. �We'd been together for over a year and a half and I feel like this had been a long time coming. I don't even know why I'm crying."
"Why does Tony think you're in love with me?" The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them.
"Probably because I am." She ignored the fish-like opening and closing of his mouth and continued. "But I guess it was because he woke up tonight, and other nights, I'm sure, and heard me saying your name in my sleep." She looked everywhere but at him as she said this.
"Wait, back up. You're in love with me?"
She nodded. "I have been for a long time. I think I realized it just before you ascended and then it was too late. So all this time I've just been trying to ignore my feelings, trying to make things work with Tony." She finally looked at him and he smiled at her.
"We're both fools, you know."
"What do you mean?"
"I love you, too. Have for quite a while."
Now it was her turn to imitate a fish. "But, why didn't you ever say anything?"
"When I came back, you were with him, and, I thought, quite happy. I didn't know what to do."
She looked puzzled for a minute, then asked, "What about Sarah? I thought you two were � "
"Getting back together? Apparently so did she, but I told her tonight that wouldn't be happening. I told her that I love you."
"How did that conversation come about?"
"I was saying your name in my sleep. She was a little put off until I explained things."
She looked at him as if trying to decipher whether he was subtly making fun of her, or telling the truth.
"I talk in my sleep, Janet. That's just something you'll have to get used to, I guess."
She stood, took his hand and pulled him up from the chair. "Well, I think I may need as many nights of sleep together as possible to get used to that."
He chuckled and allowed himself to be pulled to the bedroom.
~*~*~*~
She snuggled up closer to him and smiled.
He was talking in his sleep and the name he was whispering was hers.
END!