Et Tu Duce? I guess running a route is too much to ask...
Koy was dynamite once called into action due to an injury Donovan McNabb. How awesome you ask? Just a mere 12.571428 yards per completion. Was that figure higher than that of both starting quarteracks you ask? Why of course it was. Well then what happened you ask? Simple: Once again we were robbed of our glory by the inability of Koy's receivers to rid themselves of the awe he inspires and perform to the level his greatness demands. While finishing a drive put together so well that the German Engineers Association cited him lifetime membership, ol number 10 was done in by Duce Staley's executive decision to up and change his route to the ever effective "Don't turn around and run stright into the middle of the defense even though my quarterback's throwing a short pass to me" pattern. Worked like a charm-- just like his holdout...
NOOOOOOOOO!!! Koy denied his glory of throwing the Linc's first touchdown pass
Unfortunately for all Koy fans, we have once again fell victim to fate's cruel kick to the balls. In a night of splendor and anticipation for Koy first, the organization second, accident usurped skill and our beloved QB had his name unceremoniously ripped from the record books by the butter-laden fingers of LJ Smith. I'm sure in time we'll forgive young Smith, but until then he better be buying steak dinners, washing the Koymobile, and keeping the whip polished.
KOY SIGNED
The city of Philadelhia and it's wonderful fans have been rewarded with 4 more years of Koy. Noting it as a top priority, the Eagles rushed to deliver a new contract to our Koy, ensuring the rest of the league could not and will not pilfer our number one offensive and special teams asset. The KDFC has it on high authority that no fewer than 29 teams had contracts drawn up and ready to offer at 12:01 on February 28, the start of the free agent signing period. In fact, the NFL Quarterback Club has issued a press release thanking the Eagles for quelling the angst felt by the multitudes that faced undoubted job loss as a result of Koy's possible destination options.
Koy was happy to get the deal done. "I wanted to stay here, and I'm glad things worked out that way," said Detmer, who would have been an unrestricted free agent in two days. "I wanted to get things done in Philly because that's where I wanted to be, first and foremost." Way to go Birds!
OUR DAY IN THE SUN
Koy Damage: 26 ATT, 18 Comp, 227 Yds, 3 TD And he did this in less than 3 full quarters!
(The following review was written LIVE during the game, so some info may be dated) Eagles/Niners 1st Half Summary: Ok, the 49ers came out cheating. The heartless bastards spread a foreign substance in the Eagles backfield on the initial series causing Koy to slip on the first play. Nonetheless, all those guys did was make Koy mad. Real mad. Clubber Lang in Rocky III mad. He got whatever it was on his shoe off when he jammed it up Mike Rumph's ass and our boy then proceeded to drop 2 (yes, two) TD's on the clearly overmatched Niners' D. Word is they may just call the second half...
This isn't happening...
Eagles/Niners 2nd Half Summary: Ok, they played the second half. With the way Koy was running the show, the game was never in doubt. A touchdown to James Thrash was nullified by a bad spot, so Koy showed the blazing speed and elusiveness in dashing in for a rushing TD. The only drama left was seeing just how many touchdowns the man could produce. Vegas set a late line at 7. Then it happened. The gods were a vicious lot, and some fool took Koy down awkwardly. His elbow bent...the wrong frigging way. We don't know much right now (other than the Giants suck ass and Michael Irvin did blow), but if the way he initially rejected the cart is proof, KOY WILL BE BACK.
Most popular guy on the team:
"He's probably the most-liked guy on the team here...a typical blue-collar guy. Everybody's going to rally around him... He makes throws falling down. He's a scrapper." --A.J. Feeley, Koy's backup. Got that? Backup.
"Koy's going to drop back and get the ball out. You don't change your game plan totally, because Koy knows - Koy's been in this system longer than most people on the team...We're not panicking."--Hank Fraley, Koy's center, who knows talent and recognizes greatness.
"He'll be able to handle it twice as well as I did...He handles pressure about as well as anybody I know."--Darwin Walker, a teammate of Koy's, and one mean looking brother
"He's a very competitive football player. He plays with a lot of confidence. He just does something to the guys who are around him. It makes you feel good when he's on the field. You know he's a playmaker. You know he's going to make the right choices."-- Pro Bowl Cornerback Troy Vincent, who's feeling all warm and fuzzy about our boy Koy.
"He's one of the smartest guys on this team, as far as the West Coast offense. He knows the ins and outs of it. I think he'll be fine."-- Wide receiver Antonio Freeman, one of Koy's targets, a smart man in his own right it seems.
The KDFC would like to welcome Snoop McAnally as its newest member. Though technically unborn, the offspring of Treasurer Frank McAnally joins Milt Thompson as the only recipients of honorary membership. Snoop was extended the J. Mitchell Brinn endowed chair and will focus much of his efforts and studies on the extended social impact of Koy's work (once he learns how to read and write).
