TITLE: The
Way Things Are
AUTHOR: Sukie Tawdry
EMAIL: [email protected]
RATING: NC-17
SPOLIERS: Season
1
CATEGORY: Guess
you could call it AU. Diverges
from canon some time during
season 1.
KEYWORDS: Story,
M/S (some elements of M/other)
DISCLAIMER: None
of the characters belong to me. Sniff
SUMMARY: One
night and their whole lives were changed
forever.
FEEDBACK: Good or not so good--go ahead. I can
take it. I'm a big girl.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Big thanks
to Sybil for beta and support.
ARCHIVE: NO ARCHIVE FOR EPHEMERAL OR
GOSSAMER--I'll take
care of them.
Part 2 - Pillar of Salt
"Glad you could make it, Scully." Mulder was tipped
back
in his chair, his feet crossed on his desk. "Stuck in
traffic again?"
She wanted to punch that smirk right off his face. She'd
spent the morning crouched by the toilet, alternately being
sick and checking the cadre of pregnancy tests, each one
delivering its bad news.
"No, I wasn't stuck in traffic," she said, shooting him
a "don't mess with me" look.
"Is everything okay?" he asked, his concern
apparent. "I
don't mean to pry, but you haven't been yourself lately.
You look very pale this morning, Scully."
Just when she thought she had him figured out, Mulder would
surprise her. When she had
decided he was too obsessed with
his work to notice anything else, he turned gentle and tender.
"I'm fine. Well,
actually, I wasn't feeling that well this
morning, but I'm better now." She cleared her throat. This
wasn't going to be easy.
"Can we go for a walk, Mulder. I
need to talk to you, and I'd prefer not to do it here."
"Now you're scaring me.
Are you sure you're all right?
You're not having after effects from the insects, are you?"
"No. Nothing like
that. I just....we need to talk."
"Okay. Of
course," he said, wariness in his voice.
They
left the building, walking the two blocks to the Mall.
Each time they had to cross a street, his hand would come
to rest on her back. He
was like that--gentlemanly and a
little territorial.
"What did you want to tell me?" he asked, when they
reached
an area away from any tourists.
She took a deep breath, fighting back the urge to be sick.
Now, that would be disastrous, throwing up on Mulder's
shoes
in front of dozens of gawking tourists. On the other hand,
it would certainly open up the subject at hand.
"I wanted to be absolutely sure before I told you, Mulder.
I haven't seen a doctor yet, but...I'm pregnant. At least
that's what four separate home pregnancy tests said."
He didn't speak, and she wondered how long it had been since
anyone had been truly able to shut him up. Finally, he
found his tongue.
"You're sure....you're sure it's..."
"Yours? Yes. Unless I
had sex with someone and developed
amnesia, yes, it's yours."
"I'm sorry. I didn't
mean to insult you." His gaze
seemed
to be fixated on a street vendor, unable to meet her eye.
"I'm not insulted. It
was a fair question. I don't sleep
around, Mulder." She pinned him with a fierce look. "There is
no chance this is not your
child, Mulder.
Look, I'm not any
happier than you are about this."
"One drunken night.
One stupid, miserable drunken night.
I can't believe this."
"Are you insinuating this is all my doing? Because, if you
are, Mulder, I need to remind you that
I was not alone in
this stupidity."
He nodded, squeezing his eyes shut. "You're right. I didn't
mean to imply you were the only one at fault. Scully, what
are you going to do?"
"Gee, I thought talking to you was the logical first step.
What with you being there at the time of conception and all.
I thought you'd want to be the first to know, but obviously
I've misjudged the situation."
"Scully, I'm not denying my responsibility, but honestly,
what happens next is up to you." He stuffed his hands in
his slack pockets.
"I was hoping you would want to be part of that decision,
Mulder.
Obviously, you don't." She
turned and began to
walk back to the office.
She fought the urge to run
as fast and as far as she could.
"Wait! Scully,
wait." He caught up to her easily with his
long legs. His hand gripped her upper arm. "I...I don't
mean to be callous. I'm
still in shock, okay."
"I have to go," she said, as she pulled out of his
grip.
Head held high, she walked away, glancing back when she
reached the corner. Mulder remained where she had left him
staring after her.
The basement office was blessedly empty when she arrived.
Mulder was probably still standing on the
Mall, a pillar of
salt, rather like
been working on the day before and headed up to the forensic
area where she hoped to camp out in an empty office.
She wasn't sure what she'd envisioned when she told Mulder.
She'd have hated it if he tried to dictate her next move.
He was right--there were choices before her--keep the baby,
give it up or abort-- but ultimately, the decision was hers.
She'd never felt so alone in her life. Her mother was still
reeling from Bill Scully Sr's
death. Melissa was hard
to reach these days, still traveling
the West Coast. Scully
was too embarrassed to tell her friends. How utterly
humiliating--a thirty-year-old physician, FBI agent, independant
woman--finding herself "in trouble" like some
teenager.
And the father of the baby was no more interested in her than
a teenager's one-night stand.
She couldn't even be angry
with Mulder. He'd made it perfectly
clear from the very
beginning that finding out what happened to his sister was all
he cared about.
"Nothing else matters," was what he had said all those
months
ago as they sat in a darkened motel room on their first
case.
He allowed no distractions or impediments to his quest. The
women he slept with were an evening's diversion, a way to scratch
an itch. She'd seen him
sidestep the morning after phone calls,
gently and carefully extricating himself from further
involvement.
It was no wonder that he was panic-stricken now. She wasn't a one
-night stand, a pick up.
They had a partnership, a relationship of
growing trust, and that was on the line. She had no doubt that he
cared for her on some level.
She could see the affection in his
eyes, hear it in his voice.
But Mulder was a terribly isolated
man. He seemed to be somewhat
estranged from his family.
He didn't appear to keep in touch with
anyone from his ISU days.
He'd acted pleasantly surprised whenever
they'd come across people from his past. Mulder traveled light.
She had turned her cell phone off earlier, and checking it now,
she saw a series of messages from Mulder. She turned it off again.
She wasn't ready to talk to Mulder, not
until she sorted
things out.
Trying to work, she concentrated on the autopsy results from
their last case. She
reached into her briefcase and pulled out
a packet of saltine crackers.
They helped the morning sickness
a little. She munched a
few, only to find herself in the ladies
room within the hour.
She knelt on the cold tile floor after losing everything she had
in
her stomach. Thank God, the bathroom was deserted. That was all
she needed--to set the
Hey, did you hear--Agent Scully got knocked up. Really, wonder
who she took off her panties for. Well, you never know about
those
frosty types--sometimes they're real sluts. Bet it was that sexy
partner of hers--he'd be hard to resist. Yeah, but how long 'til
he takes a powder?
She pushed herself up from the floor, her stomach a bit steadier.
Her legs felt shaky as she walked to the sink. Mulder was right,
she looked like a ghost.
He'd been generous--he hadn't mentioned
the dark circles under her eyes or the hollows under her
cheekbones.
Weren't pregnant women supposed to get chubby cheeks?
She splashed water on her face and rinsed out her mouth. She was
becoming a little concerned about the vomiting. She wracked her
brain, but couldn't remember enough from her medical school
training to know what was normal in early pregnancy.
It was after
She had steeled herself to face Mulder,
though she wasn't sure
what to say to him. It
turned out to be a moot point--Mulder wasn't
there. She lifted a
post-it note off her computer terminal,
"Dropping off the prints from the Miller case--see you
tomorrow."
Using the privacy of the deserted office, she phoned her
gynecologist and made an
appointment for the next afternoon.
Gathering her things, she left the office. Scully couldn't
remember when she'd felt so exhausted.
Her apartment looked dusty and neglected when she arrived home.
Lately, she had no energy at the end of the day. She couldn't
remember the last time she had straightened up. The answering
machine yielded a series of increasingly terse messages from
Mulder asking her to call him. She hit the erase button. Too
tired to eat, she kicked off her shoes and dropped onto the sofa.
In moments, she was sleeping soundly.
It was dark when she woke.
Blessedly dark, and quiet. Her
mind felt clear for the first time in days. Suddenly, she
saw the options before her, and realized that there was only
one true choice.
She couldn't abort this child.
It was wrong. Not for anyone
else, perhaps, but for her, for Dana Scully. She had never
taken the easy way out, and to abort the child because it
was inconvenient wasn't right for her. She'd been raised to
a strict code of right and wrong.
You took responsibility for
your actions. You owned up
to the consequences no matter how
uncomfortable.
And she didn't think she could give this child up, no matter
what the impact to her career or her reputation. She made a
decent living and her skills would ensure her security. With
Mulder's support or without, she would do what
she had to do.
She needed to tell him. He
would, no doubt, be relieved that
he was off the hook. She
thought about calling him, but
decided he deserved to hear the news in person.
She felt more energized than she had in days. It was all
so clear now, so simple.
She hummed along with the radio as
she drove to Mulder's apartment.
But the damned morning sickness reared its ugly head, and
she rushed to park the car.
She wondered why the hell it
was called morning sickness anyway, since she seemed to be
sick morning,
She knocked on Mulder's door,
frantically swallowing back
the nausea. In her misery,
she barely listened
for movement behind the door.
Desperate, she pulled out
the key she still had to Mulder's
apartment, a remnant from
the days when he was freshly home from the hospital with
a bad leg wound.
She pushed the door open, frantic to get to the bathroom
before she vomited in the hall.
The sight that greeted her
stopped her in her tracks.
A naked Mulder sat on his couch. He wasn't alone. The
woman who straddled his lap was naked as well, her short
brown hair swinging as she turned her head to see who had
walked in the door.
"What the hell?" the woman screeched. What the hell, indeed,
Scully thought. Mulder was saying something, but Scully
couldn't take the time to decifer his
words.
"Damn morning sickness," Scully muttered, as she bolted
for the
bathroom.