TITLE:                         The Way Things Are

AUTHOR:                   Sukie Tawdry

EMAIL:                       [email protected] <mailto:[email protected]>

RATING:                     NC-17

SPOILERS:               Season 1

CATEGORY:             Guess you could call it AU. Diverges

from canon some time during season 1.

KEYWORDS:            Story, M/S (some elements of M/other)

DISCLAIMER:           None of the characters belong to me. Sniff

SUMMARY:               One night and their whole lives were changed

forever.

FEEDBACK:             Good or not so good--go ahead. I can

take it. I'm a big girl.

ARCHIVE:                  Again, go ahead.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Thanks go to Sybil for wonderful beta and support.

And a big thank you to Foxymulderluver for giving this

story a home on her website:

<http://www.geocities.com/foxymulderluver>

 

Part 5 - Beeswax

 

 

She woke to the sound of a heart monitor and the unmistakable

smell of a hospital room. Eyes still closed, she was aware

of two sensations: the vague pinching of an IV needle on the

back of one hand and the security of a strong grip holding

her other hand.

 

She remembered bits and pieces of the last hours--Mulder's

voice, choked with emotion as he called for help in the

airport, the shriek of the ambulance siren, the sting of

blood work being drawn.

 

She opened her eyes to see Mulder's worried face. His jaw

was covered with stubble, his eyes dark with fear. He

sat in a hospital-issue plastic chair, worrying that incredible

bottom lip with his teeth.

 

"The baby?" she croaked.

 

"The baby is fine," he reassured her, squeezing her hand.

 

"You're going to blow your cover, Mulder, if you hang around

like this," she croaked. Her head felt like a soap bubble,

floating through the air. He smiled and brought her hand to

his lips.

 

"I'll take my chances," he mumbled against her fingers. "How

do you feel?"

 

"A little woozy, I guess. Pro'ly something in the IV." She

couldn't get her tongue to work properly. "I wanna see my

chart. Find it, okay."

 

"Are you going to be able to read this?" he asked, lifting

her chart from the holder on the end of the bed.

 

"Just give it to me, okay," she said, prickling with annoyance.

 

He handed her the chart and she held it in front of her face.

The words all bled together, indecipherable in her medicated

state. Hoping to at least fake it, she made "hmmm" sounds,

flipping the pages briskly.

 

Mulder seemed to be fighting a smile. If she could get out

of bed, she'd smack him. Taking the chart out of her hands,

he returned it to the end of the bed.

 

"Your doctor was in earlier. She said you became severely

dehydrated. They're giving you fluids and something for the

nausea--said it might make you drowsy. You've been drifting

in and out."

 

Mulder's recap of her condition seemed to ignite something

inside him. He paced from bed to window to door, as if he

needed to work off excess energy. He turned to her and

she could see a flash of anger pass over his features.

 

"Scully...I wish you'd told me how sick you were," he said,

his voice tight with control.

 

"I wish I had, too," she said, forcing her eyes to remain

open. "But you were busy with Dective...De-tec-tive Clayton."

 

"Scully, we were working on the case. That's all."

 

"Tha's not all, at all...that sounded so funny. God, I'm loopy.

You shouldn't pay any attention to me...but then, tha's not much

of a stretch for you, huh? Anyway, I know she came back to your

room last night--I could hear you. It doesn't matter...none of

my beeswax." She had the vague feeling that she was saying too

much, but she couldn't seem to stop. She giggled, the sound

peculiar in her ear. "That's what my brother used to say -all-

the time, 'Go 'way squirt--none of your beeswax'."

 

She giggled again, and remembering that she never giggled,

tried to make a stern face. Oh, dear, but she was flying high.

 

"She came back to my room after dinner and we talked. Nothing

more." Irritation had made his voice loud. Mulder took a deep

breath and spoke again, this time in a softer voice.

"Why don't you take a nap? You can hardly keep your eyes open."

 

"Don't tell me what to do," she said. She tried to keep her

eyes open, but unfortunately, the mere suggestion that she

take a nap proved too much to resist and she fell asleep before

she could ask Mulder why he was always so bossy.

 

 

Mulder was standing by her bed when she woke again. This time,

Dr. Paula Sherwood was with him, speaking in a low voice.

 

"Ah ha, Sleeping Beauty awakes! I was just telling Agent Mulder

about the time we dressed Dr. Spritzer's lecture hall skeleton

in that Frederick's of Hollywood get up."

 

"Oh Lord, Paula," Scully groaned. "I'll never live that down

now."

 

"Sorry about that." Paula grinned at her. "Something tells

me you can hold your own."

 

"Oh, she's more than capable," Mulder said, dryly. "When she

isn't passing out on me."

 

"Yes, when she isn't passing out. Dana, I've got a bone to

pick with you. You were supposed to watch out for dehydration,

remember? Well, you shot right past morning sickness and ran

headlong into Hyperemesis Gravidarum."

 

"I know, I know. We were out of town, and it just got away

from me. I was going to call you as soon as I got back,

really."

 

"How do you feel now? Any nausea?"

 

"I feel pretty good, actually. No nausea at all. I was

very groggy before, but I'm more awake now."

 

"I lowered the dosage on the Phenergan. I'm going to

continue the saline drip until your electrolytes stabilize

and you can hold down solid food. Dana, this was awfully

close."

 

"I know it was. I'll be more careful--I promise."

 

"I'm going to hold you to that, Dana. I'm going to let

you get some rest. I want to get home in time to kiss the

kids goodnight before bedtime. I'll stop by tomorrow."

 

"Good night, Paula."

 

"Good night, Dr. Sherwood," Mulder said, standing and

offering his hand. Paula leveled a shrewd look at him

before as she shook his hand. With a final wave, she left.

 

"I think she suspects something," he said, looking toward

the open doorway.

 

"Well, you're pretty transparent, Mulder. With you

hanging around looking so worried, she's going to

make assumptions. I didn't say anything to her."

 

Mulder yawned and returned to his seat by her bed. He

looked exhausted. Waking up to find him with her had

meant a lot to her, but it was better not to grow too

used to his presence.

 

"Mulder, it must be late. You should go home."

 

"You probably want to get to sleep," he said. She thought

there was a hint of regret in his voice.

 

"I slept all day. I'll be awake for a while."

 

"I'm pretty wired. I'd like to stay a while longer,

if that's all right."

 

"Suit yourself," she said, shifting to a more comfortable

position on her side. A vague memory of giggling nagged

at her brain. "I...uh...I hope I didn't say anything

stupid when I was medicated."

 

"You were pretty...medicated," he said, smiling at her.

"Scully, you said you heard Pam Clayton in my room last

night. I...uh...I just want you to know that all we did is

talk. She left about 11:00 and I watched TV for a while

and went to sleep."

 

"Mulder, you don't have to explain." She closed her eyes in

embarrassment. "I hope I didn't say anything....I mean, it

really isn't my business what you do on your own time."

 

"I think maybe it is your business, Scully. Or maybe it

should be. Shit, I don't know what I'm saying. It's not

that I didn't notice Pam was beautiful, but it felt wrong.

I...it just felt wrong. I know you don't have any reason to

believe me. I've hardly been celibate, but I've always made

it a rule to keep distance between work and any

'extracurricular activities'."

 

"I guess meaningless sex with me was your exception to

the rule," she stated, leveling a look at him. There was

a certain satisfaction to see the look of chagrin on Mulder's

face.

 

"I...I shouldn't have said that to you the next morning,

because it wasn't true. That night was anything but

meaningless to me."

 

"It meant so much, you couldn't wait to escape?"

 

"Do you want to know my first thought when I woke up that

morning?" he asked, taking her hand. "After the initial

shock of waking up in bed with my partner, I thought...I

thought I'd never seen anyone look so beautiful that

early in the morning. I lay there watching you for the

longest time. Your skin was all creamy white--and

your lips were parted just a tiny bit, so pink and

perfect..."

 

He seemed to stop himself, afraid perhaps of having

said too much. She felt tears slip down her face. Mulder

brushed them away with his thumb, his hand drifting down to

cup her cheek.

 

"I wanted nothing more than to gather you up in my arms,

kiss you awake and make love to you all over again. And

then reality came crashing down." His fingers withdrew

from her face, and he sat forward with his hands between

his knees.

 

"I realized how high the stakes were, how much was at risk.

Scully, our partnership means everything to me. It's been

a long, long time since anyone had given a damn whether I

lived or died." He shot her a sidelong glance. "Did you

ever wonder why I never went out with the same woman twice?"

 

"I have my theories."

 

"One-night stands don't last long enough to get complicated.

The women want nothing more than a good time with no strings.

And that's about all I'm capable of providing. Scully, my last

real long-term relationship died of neglect. At the end of the

day, I'd given every bit of energy over to the work. I had

nothing left for her. Eventually, she wised up and left. I

wish I could be the man you deserve. But I can't give you what

I don't have."

 

His voice broke her heart, so full of sorrow and regret.

She ought to be angry. She should rail at him--shout that

she needed him, their baby needed him. But she couldn't.

Damn him for making her care. "Go home, Mulder," she said

gently. "Get some rest."

 

He stood and brushed a soft kiss to her forehead. "I'll see

you tomorrow."

 

She switched out the light as he left. It was a long time

before she slept.