| "If Only" |
| Kathrine F. |
| Pairings:? |
| Rating: ? |
| Disclaimer: Not mine, Mr. Carter, sir.! |
| Spoilers:none. |
| Distribution/archive: yeah, why not? Drop me a line to let me know where. |
| Summary: A "Noli Me Tangere" vignette: 155 words of wishes and regrets. |
| Author's Notes: Dasha, consider yourself fed. That little trilogy was really quite splendid -- and inspiring. Now I have to read "Jitterbug Perfume"... This takes place during roughly the same time period as NMT III: Fear, and may be considered a companion piece to it. It will make no sense if you haven't read at least the first two "Noli Me Tangere" stories. |
********
Sometimes I let my mind wander back in time, to a dusty morning in a
one-room apartment. I can feel the tears welling up and being soothed
by one who understands the futility of words, the eloquence of touch. I
can see her leaning towards me, her pupils dilated so that there is only
a thin band of green around a vortex of black, pulling me in with the
force of a whirlwind.
On the good days I don't cry, even when she touches me the way I
swore I would never allow myself to be touched. On the good days I can
last right up to the moment when she left my side.
But after that, what I did is too painful to recall, what I should have
done too uncertain to hold in my mind, and my memory drowns in "if"'s
and "if only"'s. I am left with loss and a wordless ache.
[end]
| Home | X-Files | Kathrine F. |