Section 3: Harrison
|~ One Potato Two Potato Three Potato Four ~|~ Ego Plate For 1 ~|~ Harrison Brockavich ~|

Author's Notes: OK, we've told Mom, Lily and Josh who do we tell next? How about the little homophobe himself? And please don't ever ask where my chapter titles come from, sometimes they make sense, sometimes they don't and others are vague references to old cartoons, jokes or TV shows/movies that I'm probably the only person who's ever seen. And to you Harrison fans, I destroy his character here, sorry. Well, not really.

Section 3 Harrison

ONE POTATO TWO POTATO THREE POTATO FOUR

"So, who's next on our little `move out of the way of the closet door lest you be smacked in the face with it' list?" Sam asked cheerfully, a little too cheerfully for Brooke's taste at breakfast a few days after they informed Lily and Josh of their relationship. And as Lily had said, Josh was fine, once the shock wore off and neither friend had told another soul of what was confessed that night. It went to show Sam and Brooke just what good friends Josh and Lily actually were. They both took comfort in the fact that even if all their other friends reacted badly, at least Lily and Josh would still be there. Brooke regarded Sam carefully over the lid of her vanilla yogart.

"Where do you come up with some of this stuff Sam? Do you stand in front of the mirror and practice or what? You can be highly annoying sometimes and I don't even think you realize it," she said snottily. Sam looked at her in mild surprise and then looked at the calender and smirked. Without saying a word, she walked to the cabinet, took out a bottle and handed it to Brooke.

"Take two and talk to me again in twenty minutes," she prescribed calmly, grabbed a bottle of water, half a sandwich and headed out the door after placing a quick peck on Brooke's cheek. Brooke was about to snap back when she looked at the label on the bottle. After squelching the urge to put her head in the blender, Brooke did as Sam suggested. After all, two Midol never hurt anyone, did they?

**

Brooke caught up with Sam at her locker a little while later, sheepish smile on her face. Sam just smiled back.

"Feeling better, Princess?" she asked, enjoying the embarrassed look on Brooke's face. Brooke nodded.

"Yeah, sorry, didn't mean to take my PMS out on you," she apologized. Sam shrugged.

"Eh, don't worry about it. Now, manic episode aside, give any thought to my question this morning?" Brooke shook her head.

"Not really. I still want to hold off on Nicole. She's one of the last people I want to tell, aside from Dad, for obvious reasons. I don't think we'd have half the sentence out before she'll have flyers posted around the school declaring our sexual preference." Sam crinkled her nose.

"Oh, I can see it now: McQueen/McPherson Love Nest or Live-In Lesbian Stepsisters. No, wait, giving Nic way too much credit. Besides, that's more Mary Cherry's schtick than Nic's. And you never know, Nic might take it well," Sam offered. Brooke laughed sarcastically.

"Only because she'll see it as an opportunity to steal my throne out from underneath me. Can you see her as Queen of Kennedy High?" Images of Nic on a golden throne with the poor hapless students bowing and kissing her Prada clad feet, declaring their undying loyalty while she ordered their heads cut off for being uncool or out of fashion flashed through Sam's brain. It wasn't a pretty visual. Sam shook her head to get rid of it.

"Ew, don't do that. OK, that eliminates Nicole for now. And Mary Cherry, just for the whole, I-got-a-big-Southern-Mouth thing she's got going. Now, SHE'D put posters up. Only they'd be hideously tacky ones." Brooke laughed again and shook her head in agreement.

"OK, that leaves us with Carmen, Sugar, and Harrison," she said. They both thought about that one.

"Carmen is away at her uncle's remember? She won't be back for at least another week. Sugar Daddy can't keep a secret to save his life. That leaves Harrison and after the way he totally freaked when he found out about his mother, I'm not sure I want to tell him," Sam pointed out, a hint of worry creeping into her voice. "We can always wait for Carm to get home." Brooke shook her head.

"No, we have to do this, Sam. I hate lying to everyone. I'm not ashamed of you, of us and I don't want to have to hide it. It's stressful and tiring. I know Harrison probably isn't going to take it well. Heck, he's had a thing for the both of us forever and this is seriously going to wound his pride and his ego," Brooke emphasized. Sam sighed.

"I know. It's just, he's been a good friend for so long that I hate to lose him," she said quietly. Wanting nothing more than to wrap her girlfriend in a giant comforting hug but knowing the hallway at school wasn't the best place to do it, Brooke settled for putting a reassuring hand on Sam's shoulder.

"I understand and feel the same way, but either he finds out from us or someone else lets it slip and he really freaks out because we didn't tell him," she explained patiently. Sam nodded, knowing Brooke was right. "Tell you what, why don't we invite Harrison over for dinner since Mom will be home late and Dad is away at Gramps with Mac {A/N: are those two EVER home?} and tell him then? At least it's not a public place and he's free to leave at anytime."

"OK," Sam agreed half-heartedly. "You know this isn't going to go over well?"

"Like a lead balloon," Brooke conceeded. She shrugged. "You never know, maybe having to deal with his mother's homosexuality has made him more openminded." Sam scoffed.

"Yeah," she mumbled. "And monkeys might fly out of my butt." Brooke looked up and down the hallway to make sure they were alone and then spanked Sam on the ass.

"God, I hope not."

EGO PLATE FOR 1 =) [you know who you are]

"Thanks you two, dinner was delicious," Harrison declared as he finished his plate. Brooke and Sam smiled.

"You can thank Brooke. I'm lucky if I can make cereal without setting fire to the kitchen," Sam told him making them all laugh.

"She's not that bad, Harrison. Just the other day she made me a wonderful dinner," Brooke said as she cleared the table. Sam shook her head.

"Macaroni and cheese out of a box, Harrison. Even I can figure that much out." Harrison watched the two in wonder.

"I never figured the two of you for becoming the picture of domestic bliss. You're almost like an old married couple," he said casually. Good thing Sam was sitting or she would have fallen over. And good thing Brooke had a good grip on those dishes or they would have needed to go shopping for new place settings. They stared at him in barely disguised shock.

"Excuse me?" Sam asked. (Was that my voice? I sounded like Alvin the chimpmunk after sucking on helium) Harrison looked at her like she sprouted feathers.

"What? Two years ago you couldn't stand to be in the same zip code never mind the same house and now you cook for each other, it just blows the mind, that's all. Who knew?" he answered with a smile. "I think it's great you get along so well."

(Oh, Harrison if only you knew) Brooke sighed to herself and exchanged anxious glances with Sam.

"So, Harrison," Brooke started after she put the dishes down and sat at the table, "how are things with your Mom?" She caught the look Sam sent her. It plainly asked (What the Hell are you doing? Are you brain damaged?) She chose to ignore it. Harrison sighed.

"Better. Not great, but better. It's tough, you know. I thought she was this one person my whole life and then she turns out to be someone else. It's tough to deal with sometimes." (Oh, great) Sam thought bitterly, (Here, let's add to your baggage)

"She's still your Mom, Harrison, she still loves you," Brooke said gently. Harrison nodded.

"I know, but she lied to me for so long. It's hard to get over that." Sam shot Brooke a desperate look. Brooke shrugged at her with a pained expression on her face.

"But you've forgiven her?" Sam prompted. Harrison shrugged.

"I don't have much choice, I guess. She's my mom," he looked up at his two dinner companions. "Why the sudden interest in my parental situation?"

"Harrison, are you homophobic?" Sam asked bluntly. Brooke glared at her so hotly it could have melted steel. Harrison's look was similar.

"Are you trying to piss me off, Sam? Because you're doing a good job so far," he growled. Sam raised her hands, palms up at Brooke to say (you try) and then shut up. Harrison watched the exchange and turned his attention to Brooke.

"You want to tell me why she's acting so loopy all of a sudden? Is it an after effect of the coma?" he asked, his voice taking on a hard edge. "I know that head trauma can make people act funny sometimes but I thought she was recovered." Silently Sam figured he already knew where the conversation was going. (Yeah, Harrison, two points for Oblivious Boy) Sam laughed to herself. Meanwhile, Brooke sighed. Sometimes she wondered how a writer as talented as Sam could lack so much tact. It was like Sam was absent the day they taught that at would-be-journalist school.

"Harrison, she's fine. Just as subtle as a brick, as usual," Sam glared at her. "Look, we really wanted to talk to you about something tonight."

"And that concerns my Mom how?" a slightly suspicious tone was creeping into his voice and Sam was positive he couldn't be THAT thick an individual.

"Harrison, I don't, we don't know how to say this.to tell you this." Brooke trailed off, suddenly at a loss for words. Sam watched her falter and took pity on the girl she loved so much so she spoke up again.

"All right, listen up because I'm only going over this once," she said to draw Harrison's attention back to her. Harrison stared at her waiting patiently. Sam felt a little bead of sweat run down the side of her face and impatiently reached up to wipe it away. (God, I hope I don't look like I'm panicing)

"I love Brooke, she loves me. Not in a stepsister way, but in a gay girlfriend/girlfriend sort of way. If you have some sort of problem with that, and I really hope you don't because you really mean a lot to the both of us, then take your issues elsewhere," she paused for breath and gauged Harrison's reaction. His face was blank. Unsure what to make of this, Sam continued.

"I know this has got to be confusing. Hell, it was for us too, but this is real, Harrison. And yes, Mom knows. So do Lily and Josh. They all took it really well and just want us to be happy. I know that you have, had feelings for one or both of us at some time, Harrison but it was never going to work out. Our hearts belong to each other. It's the simple truth. We just ask that you either accept or not, but either way, respect our privacy and not go blabbing it all over school like some sort of demented town crier. Let us tell everyone our own way. Give us that much," finished and out of breath, Sam stopped and waited for Harrison's reaction.

Brooke waited too, relieved that Sam had said all that and it was at last out of the way. Harrison looked from one girl to the next, back and forth for several minutes without saying a word. This was making them very, very nervous.

"You're kidding, right?" he asked quietly, looking down at the table for a second. "I'll forgive you if you are, this once." A few tears slipped down Brooke's face as she shook her head and Sam sighed.

"'Fraid not, Harrison,' Sam informed him. (Here it comes, I can hear the pressure building) Harrison's face turned purple and he sprung up from his chair so fast it reminded Sam of those movie theatres that used to have the shocking seats. He now looked at both girls like they'd grown horns and tails.

"Holy Shit! Is it something in the God Damn water supply?" His arms started to flap like he was trying to fly away and Brooke had to surpress the hysterical giggle that bubbled up unexpectedly.

"First my Mom goes all gay on me and now my two best friends? The two girls I love the most? One who I slept with and the one who I dreamed of marrying someday?" Sam and Brooke looked at each other guiltily. They'd been expecting this but it didn't make it hurt any less.

"Did I do something to cause this? Am I really that bad? Is is me that make all the women in my life become lesbians? Because it sure feels that way," he ranted pitifully.

"Harrison, you know that's ridiculous," Sam started. Harrison cut her off with a begging look. He reminded her of a puppy who was just kicked in the ribs with a steel toed cowboy boot.

"Is it Sam? I dreamed of having children with you someday, Sam," he confessed, tears appearing on his face and mirrored on hers. That comment actually hurt. "It's one of the things that kept me going when I was sick. That and keeping you from marrying the wrong guy! And now I see I shouldn't have been worrying about a GUY!" he shot Brooke a dirty look that then softened.

"And Brooke, God, Brooke, I have loved you in some way since kindergarden. How could you do this to me?" Sam moved towards him but he backed away like she was a leper.

"Stay the Hell away from me, haven't you hurt me enough? I bet the two of you were having one Hell of a good laugh at my expense, huh?" he continued angrily. "All this time I spent pining for the both of you while you were groping each other behind my back. `Poor little Harrison, look at how he longs for you Brooke, and I've got you all to myself'. Or `Harrison will never know you the way I do, Sam'. It's sick!" he was screaming now and both girls were reduced to tears although Sam was beginning to get pissed.

"Back off, Harrison, it's not like that. You have no idea what you're talking about," she shot back, lashing out with her own hurt and desperate to regain control of the situation before it degraded any further.

"Then tell me Sam, how long have you been fucking Brooke? Did it start before or after the accident? Is that it why you saved her? Or is this your doing Brooke? Were you taking advantage of Sam while she was weak and confused? Are you just playing with her until the next football star comes along to satisfy you? Tell me, Brooke, is Sammy a good fuck?" The resounding slap Harrison got from Brooke that echoed through the kitchen for a long time served to stop any further conversation.

"I think you'd better leave now, Harrison," Brooke hissed in a low growl, no longer crying and angry beyond words. Her entire body was trembling with the unspent emotion. "You are no longer welcome in our home until you can behave with some level of civility and maturity."

Harrison raised his hand and put in on the cheek Brooke had hit and stared at the girls in shock. He took a minute to recover from being struck and then shook his head in disgust and disappointment.

"Whatever," he mumbled. "You're both a pair of messed up head cases." He grabbed his coat and hastily headed for the door. He turned back to Sam, malice lighting his eyes. "Hey Sam, I'd go back and get my head examined if I were you. That accident obviously did more damage than you thought it did. And Brooke," he turned his glower to the blonde, "I don't remember what I ever saw in you. You're as shallow and vapid as Sam always said you were."

"Get out, Harrison," Sam ordered in a low growl. Brooke wrapped her arms around Sam from behind, holding on tight both for support and to keep the highly irate brunette from doing bodily harm to Harrison. Something in Sam's tone told Brooke it wasn't far off from happening. Harrison glared at them both evilly.

"You make me sick. And don't worry about me telling anyone. This is the last thing I'll ever want to discuss again. You two no longer exist to me," he spat and slammed the door behind him.

HARRISON BROCKAVICH

Jane came home later that night to find both girls on the couch, Sam curled up protectively in Brooke's lap. They both looked like they'd been crying for a very long time. Setting down her bag, she sat down in the chair across from them and offered a small smile.

"How did dinner go?" she asked gently, already knowing the answer wasn't good. Sam sniffed and buried herself deeper into Brooke's lap. Brooke sighed. She looked at Jane with puffy, red rimmed eyes still filled with tears.

"Badly," she said simply, quietly. Sam `hurumphed'.

"Catastrophic," Sam mumbled though Brooke's shirt. Jane groaned. She had a feeling Harrison wouldn't take the news well but she had been hoping to be wrong.

"Harrison freaked out, did he?" Brooke nodded.

"Major freak out, Mom. Took the whole thing personal and then accused us of all sorts of nasty things," Brooke was gently stroking the hair away from Sam's face as she spoke. Sam shifted so she could look at her mother. Jane was disturbed to see how distraught her daughter looked.

"I think he's gonna pull an Erin Brockavich and call the Water Department to check and make sure that no one's tampering with the water supply," she joked lamely.

"Maybe once he settles down he'll find a way to accept this the same way he has his mother," Jane offered but her words sounded hollow even to her own ears. Brooke shook her head.

"Maybe," she agreed although she obviously wasn't convinced.

"Probably not, Brooke. You heard him, he only accepts his mom because he has to, she's his mom, they're bound by blood. No such bond here," Sam said bitterly. Brooke sighed.

"Sixteen years of friendship should stand for something," she countered. Sam shook her head.

"But it won't," Sam answered. Jane sighed. Sam, unfortunately had a point.

"I prefer to think it will," Brooke said confidently.

"Optimist," Sam teased, her mood lifting slightly.

"Pessimist," Brooke accused, kissing Sam's forehead. Sam gave her a small smile.

"Realist, actually. But I guess it wouldn't kill me to hold out hope," she acquiesced. Jane nodded with a smile.

"No, it wouldn't. After all, stranger things have happened. Look at the two of you."

"Yeah, Sam," Brooke agreed with the first hint of a real smile since Harrison left earlier. "Besides, the guy's got to face us each day at school. It's going to be kind of tough to ignore the both of us all the time." Sam sat up and wiped a hand across the face.

"Oh, I think he'll give it a pretty good try. Either that or move to Antarctica," she settled into Brooke, her back against Brooke's front so they were both facing Jane. "So, now what do we do?" Jane shrugged.

"Who's next on your list to tell?" Sam and Brooke looked at each other.

"Carmen," they said in unison. Jane smiled.

"Well then, that one won't be bad. It's Carmen after all. She takes everything in stride. It'll work out. You'll see." Brooke and Sam exchanged looks that plainly said they weren't convinced but were willing to give it a try. After all, it couldn't get any worse than Harrison, could it?