|~ Pick A Card, Any Card ~|~ All The Better To Kick Your Ass With ~|~ That Means Really Happy, Right? ~|

Author's Notes: OK, we've told Mom, who do we tell next? How about the ex? And please don't ever ask where my chapter titles come from, sometimes they make sense, sometimes they don't and others are vague references to old cartoons, jokes or TV shows/movies that I'm probably the only person who's ever seen.

Section 2: Lily & Josh

PICK A CARD, ANY CARD

"So, who do we tell next?" Brooke asked, as she lay sprawled out next to Sam on Sam's bed exploring the girl's warm skin with her hands. They were supposed to be doing homework but weren't getting much actual work done. Sam turned her head and stared at her with a horrified look on her face.

"What the Hell are you asking me for? I thought we'd just stay quiet for a little while longer. Hee hee stop that it tickles," she scolded as Brooke ran her fingernails over Sam's sides and watched as the highly ticklish girl (who knew?) squirmed on the bed. She half-heartedly tried to bat the questing hands away but was sadly unsuccessful.

"Can't stay quiet forever, Sammy. I think Nic is getting suspicious," Brooke whispered as she leaned in to kiss Sam's neck. She felt Sam giggle.

"Nicole is always suspicious of something," Sam pointed out. Brooke nodded before going back to Sam's neck and other explorations. Sam had a point. (If Nic ever gave up being a super bitch, she'd have a great career in the CIA. Or maybe she can do both)

"Brooke?" Sam's voice shook Brooke out of the lascivious haze she was happily settling into and she picked her head up to look into the dark brown eyes of her lover. Eyes that told her she wasn't taking the trip to lustville alone.

"Yeah?" she asked throatily. Sam swallowed and gave her a lopsided smile.

"Math homework?" she held up the text to illustrate her point. Brooke frowned.

"Biology homework," she answered slightly annoyed at the interruption before returning to kissing Sam's collarbone and the annoying process of unbuttoning Sam's shirt. She heard Sam moan, and then saw out of the corner of her eye as the brunette grabbed a pillow and proceeded to try and smother herself with it. Shrugging it off as a `Sam' thing, Brooke finished with the shirt and was about to continue downward when Sam suddenly sat up and pushed away, using the pillow as a barrier.

"OK, Brooke, as much as I would absoluely LOVE for you to continue," she said, trying to get her ragged breathing under control and ignore the hungry look on Brooke's face. (Why do I have to be the rational one?)

"Mom and Mike are downstairs. Do you want to explain the cries of pure unadulterated pleasure and bliss coming from this room, from the two of US to your father tonight?" Sam watched nervously as Brooke licked her lips instead of answering.

(Might be worth it, Sammy) Brooke considered silently. Since they'd finally consumated their relationship after she'd returned from Nevada with her father, their relationship had gotten stronger, just like Sam had predicted. And it wasn't just about sex, either. Sex was just a bonus, an added reward to an already terrific relationship. They were close and getting closer everyday. They talked about everything, even things neither had told another living soul. It was like they learned something new about each other everyday and it made them love the other more. But Sam was right, as much as Brooke wanted her right now, the thought of telling her father was like a bucket of ice water in her face, or on other choice parts of her anatomy.

"I hate it when you're right," Brooke growled, relinquishing her hold on Sam's shirt. Sam made no effort to close it but put the pillow down and gave Brooke a deep, passionate kiss.

"I think they might be going out to a movie later," she confided. Brooke grinned evilly. "Either that or I might feel the need for a late night shower."

"We are in the middle of an energy crisis, too. I should shower with you, in the interest of conserving water, of course," Brooke suggested. Sam rolled her eyes. They always ended up using more water than they saved when they showered together.

"It's an energy crisis, Princess, not a drought." Brooke pouted at her, which did nothing to help Sam's resolve. (God she looks sexy when she pouts)

"Well, if you WANTED to shower alone," Sam kissed her again.

"Kidding, I was kidding. So, instead of actually doing our homework, or making love, what was your question again?" Brooke went back to tracing lazy circles on Sam's exposed abdomen as she thought.

"Who do we tell about us next? We certainly don't tell Dad, at least not yet. I'm not ready for that. You?" Sam shook her head.

"Me neither. Still having wood chipper nightmares," Brooke smacked her lightly on the stomach. "Nicole?"

"Uh-huh. As much as she claims to have a soul now, why bait the beast with a bloody steak?" Brooke asked.

"Nice imagery," Sam chided. "I got it. Let's put everyone's name in a hat and pull one out and that's who we tell." Brooke picked up her head.

"Sounds like a plan," she agreed. They wrote down all their friend's names down and put them in an old hat and after flipping a coin to see who drew (Brooke won), pulled out a slip of paper.

"Well?" Sam asked anxiously. Brooke looked at her nervously.

"Lily and Josh," she read. They entered the two as one since they were married.

"Oh," Sam said understanding Brooke's nervousness. She wouldn't want to tell her ex-boyfriend she was now gay and in love with her stepsister either. Thankfully George had moved away and she wouldn't have to. Although she had no doubt once everyone else knew, the news would eventually reach him anyway.

"So when do we tell them? How do we tell them?" Brooke asked. Sam shrugged.

"Not at school, that's for sure. Why not after they get out of work tomorrow?"

"OK," Brooke agreed slightly afraid. Sam hugged her against her body.

"It'll be OK, Brooke. Lily is cool, she'll probably think this is great for women everywhere and take Josh along with her. And even if it does go south, you still have me, and I love you."

"I love you too, Sammy."

ALL THE BETTER TO KICK YOUR ASS WITH

"So, what's up, Sam? You haven't wanted to hang out in like forever," Lily said as she, Josh, Sam and Brooke sat down in the livingroom of the Palace. Mike and Jane went out to a movie. (Sam and Brooke had enjoyed a very long shower the night before.) Sam looked at Brooke who did her best to ignore her and shrugged.

"Nothing much, Lily," Sam answered, annoyed at the game of Let's-Ignore-Sam that Brooke had been playing since school that day. Lily settled on the couch with Josh and watched her friend with an appraising eye.

"You haven't been around much lately. I thought maybe you had yourself a special someone that was taking up all your time," Lily teased as Josh handed her a soda. Sam glared at Brooke's back before answering.

"So did I. I must have been wrong," Sam couldn't help the acidic comment from escaping her. This whole thing had been Brooke's idea and now it seemed to Sam that she was hanging her out to dry and it pissed her off. She watched Brooke whirl around towards her, a hurt and desperate look on her face.

"Excuse me a second," Brooke said, eyes brimming with unshed tears, as she left the room. Sam sighed and mentally shot herself. She banged the back of her head on the chair repeatedly.

"What's wrong with Brooke?" Josh asked, concerned as he watched her exit the room like her shirt was on fire. Sam sighed again.

"Not enough iron in her diet. Start the movie while I go get her," Sam stood up and followed the upset cheerleader out into the kitchen.

Brooke was leaning over the sink crying. (I hate myself sometimes) Sam thought. She wrapped her arms around the thin frame and hugged her from behind.

"That was mean," Brooke sniffed.

"I know. I swear, sometimes it's like `open mouth, insert size 10 Adidas'" Brooke turned around in Sam's arms so that she was facing her and tilted her head, a funny look on her face.

"What?" Sam asked defensively.

"Gee, you've got awfully big feet, Sam," Brooke said with a laugh. Sam glared but her eyes lacked the malice to make the action threatening.

"Watch it, I'm trying to apologize here. It doesn't happen often and if you're not careful, you might miss it."

"Sorry," Brooke said, chagrined. Sam kissed her lightly.

"Now, I said what I did because I was upset. You've been avoiding me or ignoring me all day. Did I do something to upset you?" Brooke shook her head.

"No, not at all. God, Sammy, I'm sorry. I'm just nervous about telling them, that's all. I mean, I'm about to tell Lily and my ex boyfriend that I'm gay. It's scary." Sam nodded.

"I know, babe. I'm in the same boat, remember? And at least if it's going to sink, we go down together, OK?" Brooke's eyebrows rose at the last statement. "Oh, get your mind out of the gutter, McQueen. I swear if anyone knew how lewd you actually were you never would have made homecoming queen."

"Actually, I probably would have gotten more votes," Brooke countered.

"This is true. So, are you ready to go back out there?" Brooke shook her head.

"Anxious to feed me to the lions?" she joked nervously. Sam sighed.

"Look, what `s the worse that can happen? They totally freak out and we lose two friends, they tell the whole school and�suddenly I don't feel so well," Sam flopped down in a kitchen chair and looked up a Brooke. "You know, you got me all gung-ho for this and now I'm nervous. Nice job." Brooke hugged her around the shoulders.

"Good, now we can both throw up on their shoes."

THAT MEANS REALLY HAPPY, RIGHT?

Sam and Brooke joined Lily and Josh for the rest of the movie and had a good time even if the movie was rather lame. Josh and Lily told them all about married life and how it wasn't what they expected but that it was starting to work out. Granted they saw each other at school but lately the two pairs were drifting in separate directions and it was nice to catch up. Lily was glad Sam was nearly fully recovered from her experience vs. Nicole's car and Josh was still bewildered as to why the whole thing happened.

"You know women, Josh, piss us off and we go bonkers," Sam joked even as Brooke's eyes held that little glimmer of unresolved issues about the whole incident. Sometimes it worried Sam that Brooke still carried such heavy baggage from that night on such a slight frame. She had suggested psychotherapy for the both of them but was unceremoniously shot down.

"I know but, this is Nicole. Brooke's best friend and she tried to kill her. God, Sam if you hadn't been there," Josh started. Brooke stood up and started to pace.

"But I was," Sam cut in, hoping to prevent a Brooke bomb from going off. "And I'm OK now. It was a long, bumpy road but the end result was more than worth the pain," she directed the last comment at Brooke. Brooke looked at her and immediately relaxed and smiled.

Lily frowned. (What is going on here?) she thought.

"All right, you two, spill. You've both been wound up like dervishes all night and if you don't start talking soon, I'm going to go bonkers," Lily informed them. Brooke and Sam exchanged nervous glances, which only went to further Lily's suspicions.

"Uhm, Josh, Lily, we need to talk to you about something," Brooke started.

"Something really big," Sam added.

"And we just want you to hear us out before you freak out and like yell and run out of here," Brooke continued.

"And we ask that you keep it between the four of us and give us a chance to tell the others at our on pace," Sam kept going. Frankly they were giving Lily a headache and poor Josh couldn't keep up.

"Let me get this straight," Lily interjected before the two started up again and she lost entire track of the conversation. "You have something big to tell us," two nods, "that you don't want us to freak out over," two more nods, "and that you want to keep to ourselves for now," two last nods. "OK, got it. Lay it on us."

Sam looked at Brooke who simply shrugged and looked back at her.

"Oh, you're a lot of help," Sam sighed. "Josh, Lily, we're in love." There she said it. She winced and waited for the fallout.

A huge smile began to spread across Lily's face. As it got larger, Sam swore that if it got any bigger the girl's head would split in two. (Is this a good reaction or is she plotting something horrible against us? Is Lily capable of plotting something horrible?) Sam wondered.

"That's great," Josh said, shocking both girls. "With who?" Lily sighed, closed her eyes and smacked herself upside the forehead. She looked back at Sam and Brooke.

"And to think, I married him," she said wearily. Josh looked at all three girls, obviously not keeping up with the converation.

"What? What did I say?" he asked, genuinely confused. Lily gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder.

"With each other, Josh. And not as sisters. `In love', in love. Sam and Brooke are in love with each other," she explained softly, like a parent explaining that no, Josh, there is no Santa Claus. Josh looked back and forth between Sam and Brooke for a few minutes in dumb silence.

"But they're girls," he whispered to Lily as if she didn't know. Lily rolled her eyes and sighed. She really hoped their children, if they ever had any, took after her side in the brains department.

"Very observant of you, honey. They're also gay," she said.

"Happy?" Josh said hopefully. Sam and Brooke, who were actually trying not to laugh, just shook their heads.

"No, homosexual. Although I'm sure happy does factor in there somewhere," Lily continued. Sam and Brooke nodded.

"Oh," Josh said, as it started to sink in. "Oh!" he repeated, finally getting it. He blinked a few times as he processed the information and then stood up abruptly. "I have to go now," he said as he headed for the door.

"Josh," chorused Lily, Brooke, and Sam. Josh turned and looked at all three.

"I'm OK, with this, really. It's just, Brooke, you were my first love. I lost my virginity with you. You're still really special to me. Don't get me wrong, I really love you Lily. I just need some time to think about this. My first love just told me she's gay, it's kind of a shock," he said honestly. As he reached the door he turned back again.

"Hey, Sam, I've always liked you. You're a pretty cool person. If you make Brooke happy, than that's all that matters to me. But get this straight right here and now, you hurt her and you'll answer to me, got it?" Sam nodded.

"Duly noted, Josh," Sam responded.

"And don't worry, I won't say a word at school. I care for you and respect you both too much to do that. I can understand what it must have taken for the two of you to have told us this. Thank you for your honesty. I'll see you at home, Lily. Love you," he said as he left.

"Wow, that didn't go as horribly awry as I'd feared," Brooke said in relief as she flopped down on the couch. Sam sat down next to her and wrapped her arms around her as Lily watched.

"Does this bother you Lily? Because I can not do it when you're around," Sam said hastily as she started to remove her arms. Lily laughed.

"No, it's fine. It's cute actually. I was just thinking what an unnaturally and sinfully good-looking couple you were." Brooke stared at her for a minute.

"You know, you're taking this awfully well." Lily shrugged.

"I saw this coming," Lily informed them. They both stared at her, mouths agape. "What? You think just because I'm the little sweet one that I don't see what's going on around me? I protest and crusade and never actually notice the one thing going on under my nose? Please. There was enough sexual tension between the two of you since the seventh grade to light a million fires. Anyone who got too close got their eyebrows singed and after the accident, I noticed the little changes, the looks, the way you flirted. Just because no one else wants to acknowledge it doesn't mean I didn't." Brooke buried her face in her hands either in distress or relief, Sam and Lily weren't sure and Sam just smiled.

"Were you ever going to share this little tidbit of information with the rest of us?" Lily arched an eyebrow and smirked.

"And miss out on the free daily show? Hell no! It was better than basic cable. Besides, you both would have had me carted away to the nearest psychiatric facility."

"She has a point," Brooke said through her hands. Sam cuddled closer and rested her head on Brooke's shoulder.

"What about Josh?" Lily waved her off.

"He'll be fine. Probably better than fine given the wonderful mental imagery you two just supplied him with," Lily said sarcastically with a hint of mirth. Brooke groaned into her hands and Sam snickered at her discomfort, which got her an elbow to the ribs.

"Have you told your parents?" Lily asked hoping to allieviate some of Brooke's discomfort.

"Mom knows, but we're holding out on telling Mike until the bomb shelter's completed," another elbow to the rib. "Ow, stop that before you rebreak them," Sam ordered as the last blow actually hurt.

"Sorry," Brooke said honestly, lifting her head and looking at Sam who kissed her lightly on the tip of her nose.

"Hey, I just had a good thought," Lily piped up. Sam and Brooke looked at her expectantly. "Not that it was ever a real worry, but now I really don't have to worry about ever losing Josh back to you Brooke." She tried valiantly to avoid the flying couch pillows tossed in her direction but to no avail.