|~ Did I Ever Tell You About My Chat With Ann Margaret? ~|~ Dueling Banjos ~|~ Hello Satan, Got Time For A Smoke? ~|~ I Know What You Really Want For Your Birthday ~|

DID I EVER TELL YOU ABOUT MY CHAT WITH ANN MARGARET?

After dinner they sat down in the living room with a few movies and snack foods.

"What are we watching tonight, Brooke?" Sam asked as she settled into a more comfortable position on the couch. Brooke popped the DVD in the player and started to head to the armchair when she saw the disappointed look on Sam's face. Changing her mind, she sat at Sam's feet and pulled them into her lap and massaged the uncasted foot.

"Feels nice," Sam purred. "Movie?" Brooke smiled.

"I thought we'd start with the ultimate edition unrated American Pie and then go with Save the Last Dance."

"Sounds good," Sam responded as she surrendered to Brooke's ministrations. Even if she could never have Brooke as anything more than a good friend and stepsister, she was going to enjoy every close moment she got to share with her.

Brooke was watching the contented expressions pass over Sam's face. She knew how Sam's foot sometimes hurt from supporting her entire weight in therapy sessions and was more than happy to alleviate some of that tension and discomfort. Even if she could never have Sam as anything more than a good friend and stepsister, she was going to enjoy every close moment she got to share with her.

"Hey Sam?" Brooke called down the couch as they watched the kid from American Pie hump the apple pie and giggled.

"Yeah?" Sam answered, lifting her head.

"Did I tell you I saw God?" Sam lifted a brow.

"In a slice of apple pie?" Brooke pinched Sam's toes. "Ow!"

"No, you nutball, while you were in a coma." Sam sat up further while still keeping her legs in Brooke's lap.

"Nope, I missed that story. Did he have anything deep and meaningful to say?"

"She told me to keep talking to you, believe in you," Brooke started.

"God's a she, huh? I knew it," Sam laughed. "Probably got a wicked sense of humor too." Brooke smiled.

"Oh, yeah. Do you think I'm crazy?" Sam gave her a wry smile.

"Not anymore than usual, no." Brooke swatted her on the foot. "Look, you say you saw and spoke to God, I believe you. Hell, I swear I saw my Dad and spoke to you while I was in a coma. And we both know that was impossible." Brooke sat up further on the couch leaning towards Sam, a serious look on her face.

"Why is that impossible, Sammy?"

"I saw those photos of me, Brooke, I was more dead than alive. Dad is dead, and you are alive. I couldn't have talked to the two of you at the same time," Sam explained logically.

"Sam, I spoke to your Dad," Sam glared at her incredulously. "I'm not picking a fight, hear me out. I fell asleep at your bedside and woke up and God was there. I talked to her but she couldn't tell me whether or not you were going to make it. But she did let me talk to you. That's when I met Joe. He brought me to you."

"You're making this up," Sam snapped. Brooke sighed.

"No, I'm not. I can tell you how soft and gentle his voice was, how it had a slight lilt to it when he spoke," she watched Sam's eyes get wide and slightly watery. "You were in a field near a stream, dangling your feet in and watching scenes from your life pass by," she continued.

"Missed out in a career in hockey or roller derby," Sam whispered in disbelief. She looked up into Brooke's eyes. "I thought I imagined it. How is it possible? What does it mean?" Brooke moved so that she was hugging the now crying girl and shrugged.

"I dunno, really. But it was real, Sammy. I was really there."

"Well, that just complicates matters, doesn't it?" Sam sniffed. Brooke frowned.

"How so?"

"I was all ready to pawn you off as certifiably insane, and now it looks like we both are," Sam joked. Brooke shook her head and laughed.

"Ain't it the truth?" she let Sam lean her head on her shoulder to watch the rest of the movie and was surprised to find her asleep by the end. Brooke watched the other girl sleep peacefully for a long time before drifting off herself.

(Night, Sammy. Whether or not God was right about there ever being anything more between us, I'll never trade your friendship and trust for anything in the world)

DUELING BANJOS

"We need to talk, and I mean really talk," Sam said quietly. Brooke eyed the brunette sitting calmly in the wheelchair a few feet away. There was a look in Sam's eyes that both scared Brooke and excited her. Those deep chocolate eyes were looking at her with intense interest and curiosity and something else not readibly discernible by Brooke. Unable to keep the intense gaze, Brooke looked away as she responded.

"About what?" She heard Sam sigh.

"Fine, you wanna do this the hard way, suit yourself. Do you remember�? Why do people ask that? Of course you do. Anyway, prom night, after Harrison gave us his choice and you got up and walked away, I followed you." Brooke nodded.

"I remember. God help me, I wish I could forget what happened next," Brooke whispered. Sam wheeled herself a little closer.

"I don't want to talk about that. A least not right now. No, before Nicole's own twisted version of DeathRace version 2001, when we were talking in the lobby. You said that it `wasn't what you wanted'."

"OK, I remember that too. So? You said the same thing. You said it `wasn't what you wanted either'. So what?" Brooke asked defensively. She was starting to get worried about where Sam was taking this conversation because she wasn't sure she was ready to tell Sam the truth about her feelings yet. Sure, things between the two of them had been getting, interesting, lately, but she wasn't sure if she was ready for the truth to come out, for that door to be opened, so to speak. She was kind of comfortable in the closet even if was apparently getting crowded in there.

"So what did you mean? What `did'you want? How did you want it to play out? Did you want Harrison?" Sam asked gently. She didn't want to upset Brooke but some part of her needed to know what those words had meant. They echoed in her head late at night and haunted her sleep. To Sam, they seemed to hint that Brooke had wanted a different kind of result than Harrison picking either of them and for her own sanity, she needed to know if there was any chance that Brooke felt the same way for her that she did for Brooke. All evidence lately was pointing directly to `Hell Yes' and she couldn't stand the thought of another day passing and not knowing the truth. And after Brooke told her that she had indeed visited Sam in her coma, Sam had remembered her parting words. Brooke's gentle, `I love you' had echoed in her mind all night.

"God, Sam, I don't know," Brooke let her fear answer for her. She looked at the earnest eyes of her companion and turned the conversation around. "What did you mean, Sam? You said the same thing so, what did you really want?"

Sam looked away from the strangely frightened hazel eyes and thought for a minute. (Do I just say it? Do I just jump off the bridge and hope the rope holds? Will she hate me? Be repulsed by me? After all this, will I lose her friendship? Do I take the chance that I'm reading the signals correctly?) It took Sam a few more minutes to realize that whatever the consequences, the truth was more important to her now. The chair underneath her reminded her of the frailty of life and how close she came to losing her own.

"If I answer that question honestly, Brooke, everything changes. I won't be able to take it back," Sam said, her voice hushed. Brooke's heart flipped in her chest and she felt a jolt of adrenaline flush through her at Sam's statement. It took her a minute to realize she was starting to hyperventilate.

"Sam, if I understand you correctly, everything did just change," Brooke said after she got her breathing back under control. Sam looked up at her in surprise. "Tell me, Sam. Please just tell me what you really wanted. I promise to listen." Sam took a deep shuttering breath before starting to speak. She had to do this, there was no holding back anymore.

"I didn't want Harrison. I didn't want him to pick me and hurt you. I just wanted to keep him as a friend if it would keep you from getting your feelings hurt but more than that I wanted," she paused. "I wanted�God, Brooke, haven't you noticed what's been going on between us lately or is it just me?"

"I've noticed something," Brooke conceeded. (Boy, have I.)

"Well, what do you suppose it is? There's a line between flirting and joking around and something else and I think we've wandered into `something else'."

"Does that bother you?" Brooke asked nervously. Sam shook her head.

"Not really, I guess. If there's really something to it."

"Then finish your original thought, Sammy," Brooke suggested. Sam looked at her confused. "What Sam? What did you want?" Brooke prompted, leaning closer. Sam looked down, away, back at Brooke and then at her hands.

"You," Sam whispered as a single tear made its way down her face and she lowered her face. A sob of relief and joy almost escaped Brooke as she heard that one word. She put her hand over her mouth to prevent it and Sam thought it meant she was horrified. (Oh God, I was wrong! I've lost everything! How could I have been so stupid?)

More tears suddenly appeared and Brooke watched as the usually strong and invulnerable veneer she associated with Sam suddenly disintergrated before her eyes. The thought that Brooke hated her did what the accident and the subsequent inability to walk or speak hadn't; it totally destroyed Sam McPherson. And it scared Brooke to watch it happen right before her eyes.

"Oh God," Sam whimpered as she started to cry harder, "don't hate me. I'm sorry. I'll never say anything about it again." Sam collapsed into herself and pushed away with her chair in an attempt to escape. Brooke lept off the couch and enveloped the suddenly vulnerable girl in a tight hug.

"Oh, Sam, Sammy I don't hate you. I could never hate someone I love so much," she told her honestly. Sam pulled away and looked at her.

"What? You love me? As in a sisterly way, right?" She sniffed. Brooke smiled.

"Only if this is `Deliverance' country and I don't hear any dueling banjos," she joked. "Seriously, Sam, I said what I said that night for the same reason. I didn't want Harrison and I didn't want to hurt you. All I wanted was you. I wanted to dance with you, talk to you," Brooke leaned in closer to the now calmer girl, "kiss you," she continued as she brushed her lips across Sam's. "Those lips," Brooke murmered as she lingered close to Sam's face. She watched the corner of Sam's mouth quirk up in the way only Sam's mouth could.

"And, what about my lips?" Sam asked, repeating her part from the playful conversation they'd had in her hospital room a few months earlier.

"Sinful," Brooke told Sam her original thought as she pressed her own lips against Sam's again. She felt Sam relax into her and increase the pressure of the kiss. Any lingering doubt Brooke had about Sam's feelings vanished as Sam ran a hand through her hair, drawing her closer.

"Whoa," Sam breathed after they broke apart and she could breathe again. She felt like her heart was going to explode inside her chest it was beating so fast. She was surprised Brooke couldn't hear it.

"'Whoa' is an understatement. Gee, if I had known you were such a good kisser, Sam, I'd have done that a long time ago," Brooke said with a laugh. Sam smiled slyly.

"Oh really? I'm a good kisser, huh? I was thinking I could use some more practice," Sam hinted as she leaned in again. Brooke grinned.

"Here, let me help you with that." They kissed again and again until lack of oxygen made them dizzy. They broke apart with silly grins on their faces.

"You know, this explains so much," Sam laughed, her voice husky and thick. Brooke was tracing Sam's lips with her fingers.

"Like what?" Brooke asked, still staring at the lips she obsessed about for so long and wanted so badly to kiss again.

"Why our relationship was always the way it was," Sam said in between kisses.

"Ummm hummm," Brooke answered. Reallly, she was listening. Sam smiled.

"Attention span of a sand mite and libido of a horny rabbit on crank, that's my Brooke," Brooke nuzzled her nose into Sam's neck.

"I like the sound of `your Brooke'," Brooke whispered as a few tears fell. Sam wiped them away with a frown on her face.

"What's with these, Princess?" she asked gently. Brooke looked up into Sam's eyes.

"I'm afraid that this is a dream and my alarm clock is about to go off. You'll be in the next room and I'll still be pining away for you but never able to reach out to you like I yearn to," she explained as more tears fell. Tears dripped down Sam's face too. "God, Sammy, if you only knew how much I need you, the way my body craves you." Sam lifted Brooke's face to meet hers in a passionate kiss.

"I think I do know, Brooke. And you are my Brooke, now and forever. This is no dream, no illusion, or trick being played upon you or me by some celestial being for the enjoyment of the cosmic masses. You don't ever have to fear losing me, Brooke. My heart is and always has been, always will be yours and no one else's. Nothing will ever change that," Sam confessed, setting off a new onslaught of tears, these happy ones, down Brooke's face.

"Thank you, Sam, that was beautiful," she sobbed. Sam held her closer.

"So are you, Brooke," Sam told her softly. Brooke pulled away slightly and looked up at her.

"You were saying? About our relationship?"

"Oh! Yeah, our relationship has always been push and pull, give and take, poke and prod, fire and ice, oil and water�"

"I get the point, Sammy, move on to your point please," Brooke joked. Sam rolled her eyes.

"I'm trying to say that we've always seemed to be pulling at each other, trying to get something from the other that we didn't understand. I certainly never would have seen this coming." Brooke nodded her agreement.

"Me neither, especially since I thought you were straight," Sam arched an eyebrow.

"This coming from Miss Homecoming Queen, Head Cheerleader, I Used to Date the Quarterback girl. Yeah, like anyone could have seen this one coming."

"Speaking of which, how do we tell Mom and Dad?" Brooke asked. Sam winced.

"And she throws the bucket of cold water on my raging hormones. No hanky panky for Brookie-poo tonight," Brooke pouted. "Hey, your fault for mentioning Mike and Mom. Seriously? I haven't a clue, I could barely tell you for God's sake. How about we just enjoy it for a while and figure it out later?" Brooke nodded.

"Works for me. So, no hanky panky?" she pouted some more. Sam shook her head.

"'Fraid not. But heavy petting is OK, lots of heavy petting."

HELLO SATAN, GOT TIME FOR A SMOKE?

San knocked nervously on the door. She didn't really understand why she was here, she just was. The door opened to reveal a rather stuffy looking butler, a gentleman in his sixties. He glanced down at her for a moment before recognition set in.

"Ms. McPherson, I presume?" he asked. (People actually talk like that?) She nodded.

"Yeah, is Satan, I mean Nicole home?" the butler rolled his eyes.

"Satan was a much more accurate description," he said dryly in a British accent. Sam tried unsuccessfully to hide a smile. "But yes, I'll get her for you."

Sam waited outside the handicapped inaccessible door until Nicole poked her surprised head out the door. She glanced at Sam in shock and then stepped out the door and shut it behind her.

"To what do I owe the somewhat dubious honor?" Nic asked nervously, although she tried to hide the discomfort in disinterest. Her eyes suddenly widened. "You don't have a gun, do you?" Sam laughed, actually laughed at this.

"Not this time, but it's something to keep in mind for next time. No, I wanted to talk to you."

"Oh," Nicole said as she sat down on the step next to Sam, which surprised Sam, Nicole sitting down on the dirty step. Shrugging it off, Sam continued.

"I'm alive, no thanks to you and your questionable driving skills," she started. She noticed Nicole was staring at the ground.

"I'm glad," Nic said softly. Sam stared at her in shock.

"What?" Nicole looked up at her and Sam was floored to see tears in Nic's eyes.

"Jesus, Sam, I never set out to hurt anyone. I was drunk and angry. I would never hurt Brooke, never in a million years. And I'm sorry for what I did. As much as I might resent you, I wouldn't want to hurt you either. I am not a cold-blooded killer. I really wish people would stop making me out to be," she whispered hotly as tears fell unchecked to the ground beneath her.

"Who are you and what have you done with the real Nicole Julian?" Sam asked getting a watery smile from the girl beside her.

"That's just it, Sam. I AM the real Nicole Julian. The girl you go to high school with, that's just an act, a cover so that no one can get to me, hurt me. I don't let anyone close to me so I can never get hurt." Sam was seeing Nic in a whole new light. And what was frightening was the fact that they were eerily similar.

"Why?"

"Because when I get hurt, I lash out, Sam. God, look at you. Isn't that proof enough? I nearly killed you and Brooke because I didn't get my own way and I got my feelings hurt. But it also made me see that if I keep living this way, not feeling, I'm going to hurt those around me. I really am sorry for everything. And if there was anything I could do to make this up to you and Brooke, I would."

"How did you get away with it?" Sam asked. Nicole shrugged.

"Wasn't my idea, but my family wanted to save face. They pulled a lot of strings and called in some favors. Whatever, I was ready to take my punishment but my family took that from me. I'm sorry for that too." Sam shrugged. God, help her, she actually believed and sympathized with Nicole Julian. And worse, actually liked the real person sitting there next to her.

"I have a few ideas how you might be able to help me and Brooke, eventually," Nicole's eyes lit up at this. "You might not like it but, it'll be a while before I call in the marker, OK?" Nic nodded. "But first, got any plans for the day after tomorrow?"

I KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY

Standing in the kitchen with Mike and Jane, Brooke silently lamented the absence of her favorite kissing toy, Sam. Of course, since Mike and Jane had returned from Utah a few days earlier, the snogging sessions and heavy petting meetings were much more discreet and quiet but, still highly enjoyable and high on Brooke's list of favorite things to do. And now that it was her birthday, there was really only one thing she really wanted to do. Not that she was going to tell her father and Jane that.

"Happy Birthday, Brooke," Jane beamed as she hugged her stepdaughter. There was no doubt in her mind that she loved Brooke as her own, especially after all that the girl had done for Sam. Jane knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that without Brooke by her side, Sam never would have come as far as she had after the accident. She was beyond happy that the two girls had gotten past their differences and were there for one another when it really counted.

"Thanks, Mom," Brooke smiled back, totally comfortable now with calling Jane Mom. She was truly the closest thing she'd ever had and Brooke was now beyond happy that her father had found Jane, even if it had caused loads of trouble to start. The end result was more than worth the strife. "I just wish Sam was here," she lamented outloud the absence of the girl who had come to mean so much to her. More than she was going to admit to Jane, of course. (At least not yet) she thought Jane and Mike smiled.

"She'll be here soon, sweetheart," Mike told his daughter. Like Jane, he was happy that Brooke and Sam got along as well as they did now. Unlike Jane, he was unaware that there was something more going on between the two girls. Jane had noticed things were a little different between Sam and Brooke. She wasn't sure how she felt about that, given the facts that:

1) they were both girls,

2) it would make things awkward for the family,

3) it wasn't an easy lifestyle choice for anyone and she didn't want them to face a lifetime of stereotypes and hardships if it wasn't `just a phase' and,

4) how would Mike react? (Probably not well)

But for now, she was just going to keep an eye on them, make sure things didn't get out of hand and (gasp) trust them. If she felt things went too far, then they'd have to lay down some ground rules and take it from there. But Jane wasn't a fool, although Brooke and Sam might disagree at times (they're teens, it happens), she knew they weren't kids anymore and shouldn't be treated as such. Plus, a little voice in her head kept telling her she was imagining things and she was more than happy to listen to it. (Denial, I can do denial)

"Excuse me," a voice spoke up from the doorway. The three looked up in shock to see Nicole standing there looking scared. Brooke tried hard to swallow the rage that flowed up at the very sight of her former friend. Mike put his hand on her shoulder in support.

"Nicole? How did you get in?" Jane asked, a little curtly. She had been confused when Sam had sat the family down a few days ago and explained that she forgave Nicole for her actions because Nic wasn't in control and was genuinely sorry. She understood why Sam had forgiven Nicole but a day didn't go by that she didn't curse the short blonde. And the same time, a day didn't pass without her being in awe of her daughter and the strength it must have took for Sam to have been the one to extend the olive branch to Nicole. (Sometimes that girl amazes me) Jane thought. Nicole shifted nervously on her feet.

"Uhm, Sam let me in. She wants to show you something in the living room," she said quietly. Nicole was very scared to be in the house full of the family she had nearly destroyed with her foolish actions but Sam had been insistant and for the life of her, Nic couldn't refuse. So here she stood, looking at her former friend who stared at her with contempt and anger, both of which she knew she deserved.

"How did you get here?" Mike asked, knowing Nicole didn't have a driver's license anymore. This won him a wry smile from the former ice queen.

"Cab. Sam called me to pick her up at rehab and bring her here. She didn't really say why she wanted me here but, I couldn't say no." Brooke broke away from her father and walked towards Nicole.

"Thanks, Nicole. Let's go see what her surprise is," she managed to say in a somewhat civil tone. She knew Sam wanted everyone to forgive Nicole, or at least not hate the girl but Brooke couldn't chase the images from that night from her mind. She walked passed Nicole into the living room and nearly fainted. There in the living room was Sam holding a giant teddy bear with a huge red bow in her arms. And she was standing.

"Oh my God, Sam!" Jane gasped from the doorway when she entered the room behind Brooke. Mike grabbed her to steady the swaying woman. Sam smirked.

"Gee, you all look like you've never seen me stand before," she said calmly. She turned to Brooke. "Do you like your bithday present?" Brooke grinned knowing that Sam didn't mean the teddy bear. She was almost afraid to move; that this was a dream and when she woke Sam would still be in that chair. She didn't even realize she was crying until Sam frowned.

"Aw, don't cry. You're supposed to be happy, silly," Sam admonished her as she set the bear down. Still moving rather stiffly, Sam took a tentative step towards Brooke, testing the strength of her legs. After assuring herself that they were indeed going to hold her, she took another and closed the short distance between them. Everyone watched in silence as Sam reached Brooke and wiped away the tears with a lopsided grin on her face. Finally, Brooke spoke.

"How, Sammy? When?"

"I've been working on it, when you haven't been with me at rehab, as a surprise. We all knew I'd walk again, it was just a matter of when," Sam told her. Brooke enveloped her in a tight hug and was quickly joined by Jane and Mike. Nicole stood a few feet away watching awkwardly.

"I know that doctors said you would Sam but this is amazing," Mike said in awe. Sam just beamed at him.

"I wanted to be able to do this by Brooke's birthday. Don't go throwing a big bruhah just yet. I'm not up to any marathons or anything. Standing and a couple of steps are the extent of my abilities right now. We'll save the 26k run until next week."

"Oh, Sam this is fantastic," Jane cried, tears flowing down her cheeks. Sam sighed.

"You're supposed to be happy, Mom. Why is everyone crying?" she sked with a laugh. Even Nicole (yes, Nicole) and Mike had tears in their eyes. "You all keep this up and we'll have to rent an ark."

"This is just amazing and the best birthday gift I could have gotten, Sam. Thank you," Brooke whispered seriously. Sam nodded.

"I aim to please. Hey, Nic?" Nicole looked up in surprise.

"Yeah?" Sam smiled at her. It still shocked Nicole that of all people, Sam McPherson forgave her for what she'd done. She was the one that had nearly killed Sam, had taken away her voice for a while and put her in that infernal chair and yet, Sam forgave her and asked the gang to give the poor girl a break. No one had spoken to or given the time of day to Nicole since the accident and Nicole knew the only reason she wasn't up the creek sans paddle was Sam McPherson.

"Can you bring my chair over? I don't wanna overdo it," Sam asked politely. Nicole nodded and wheeled the chair over and helped Brooke get Sam into it. Brooke looked at Nicole and Nic saw some of the animosity drain away.

"Thanks, Nic. I bet you're all wondering why I called her, huh?" Sam asked. Four pairs of eyes stared at her and waited. "OK, look, I wanted to be able to stand on my own and walk a little by Brooke's birthday because I thought it would be a really cool present and I'm a little low on cash. But I invited Nicole here for another reason. I've asked everyone to if not forgive her at least not to hate her for what she did. And to some extent everyone has tried but the scars, both physical and mental remain. But everyone only considers our wounds. My wounds and Brooke's. What this family went through, what our friends went through. I'm not sure anyone has given any real thought to Nicole's wounds."

*** AUTHORS NOTE: corndog alert***

"I believe her when she says she's sorry. No one, not even Nicole Julian, could fake the look on her face when she says it. She is truly sorry. And her sentence for what she did, the rehab she went through was part of her healing process, same as my rehab is for me. We see how she is now, after therapy and I don't think there's one of us who could say she's the same person she once was. But for all the therapy and community service, I think you needed to see me stand and walk as much as my family did, Nic. I invited you here to share this to help you heal." Tears flowed freely down Nicole's face as she listened to Sam's heartfelt words and she realized that Sam really didn't hate her for what she did.

"Th�thank you, Sam," she stuttered as sobs of relief, pent up since the moment she confessed to Officer Bennett threatened to make themselves present. Sam held her arms open.

"It's OK to cry, Nicole. You were hurt too but now we can all start to heal. I will walk again and all of us will have our lives back." Nicole collapsed into Sam's waiting arms, not caring that she had an audience and cried. Mike turned to Brooke and Jane.

"That is one amazing young lady," he whispered quietly, for their ears only. They nodded in agreement. "And I never thought I'd see the day when I'd think of Nicole as human." Again they nodded.