|~ Prognosis Isn't Good ~|~ Bedside Vigil ~|~ Brooke, Sam, And God ~|~ Convict 24601 ~|

PROGNOSIS ISN'T GOOD, DOES OUR INSURANCE COVER THIS?

"Family of Samantha McPherson?" the doctor asked a few hours later. Everyone stood up as one as Mike and Jane stepped forward with Brooke.

"That's us," Mike said, indicating, not only himself, Brooke and Jane, but also the group of teens in the room with them. "All of us, Doctor. These are her friends and we don't want to keep anything from them." The doctor looked at Mike dubiously for a moment before nodding.

"If you're sure?" he asked. Mike nodded.

"Yes, absolutely."

"Alright then. I'm Dr. Parker and I treated your daughter when she was brought in."

"How is she doctor?" Jane asked nervously. Dr. Parker ran his hand through his short brown hair and sighed.

"When she arrived here she was unconscious and suffering from extreme blood loss due to internal injuries," he started. Jane sat down heavily in a nearby chair with both Mike and Brooke on each side for support. Dr. Parker sat down across from them.

"I'm sorry, I should have warned you first to sit down. Hearing news like this is never easy." Dread and fear filled Brooke's chest and choked off her air as she tried to ask the next question.

"Is she�is she dead?" she asked her voice barely above a whisper as she stared at the floor, unable to meet the doctor's gaze. Dr. Parker reached out and placed his hand on her knee to get her attention.

"No," Brooke's head shot back up and she stared at the doctor. "She's alive and will be moved to the ICU shortly. However, she's not out of the woods yet." Brooke was too relieved that Sam was still alive to ask any more questions.

"What are her injuries?" Mike asked, taking control of the situation. This girl was another daughter to him and his guilt at letting Nicole out of his sight was eating him alive.

"I'll start with the most minor and therefore the easiest to treat. She sustained several lacerations that needed numerous stitches to be closed properly. Some may scar but can probably be fixed in time with cosmetic surgery. A cosmetic surgeon was called in to stitch any area that would show like the wound on her forehead. That should heal with minimal scarring."

"Her right arm and ankle are broken but the breaks were clean and should heal with no problems. Her left knee was dislocated in the accident and has been stabilized."

"And these are the minor injuries? Jesus," Carmen whispered as Lily gave her a hug. The doctor nodded sympathetically.

"The rest of the news I have for you isn't as good," he looked at the group before him to make sure they were ready. He saw only the concerned faces of people who obviously cared for this girl very much and Dr. Parker was relieved because he knew that Sam McPherson was going to need all the help she could get.

"I'm not going to lie to you, your daughter's injuries were very severe. The car hit her in the side at such a speed that essentially it collapsed her ribcage on that side. The resulting fall from the crash caused various fragments of those bones to penetrate numerous tissues and organs, one of the worst of which was her liver. She suffered a substantial insult to her liver and blood loss due to internal hemorrhaging as a result. That alone would be enough to put her in the critical state she's in but she has other injuries to consider as well."

"Like what?" Josh voiced what everyone else was afraid to. A thick silence had fallen over all of them when the doctor had started to outline Sam's injuries. With every word he spoke, the reality of the situation became more and more solid to the assembled group. They weren't going to wake up to find this a horrible nightmare and Sam was obviously not leaving the hospital anytime soon.

Dr. Parker sighed; he really hated this part of his job. Telling anyone that their loved one was dead or dying was always hard but it was harder when the patient was as young as Sam or when the circumstances were as pointless as these were.

"As I said, her ribs were fractured and several pieces pierced her right lung causing it to collapse. We were able to repair that damage rather quickly. But that isn't what concerns me."

"Jesus, what else could there be?" Mike asked, rubbing Jane's back as she continued to cry softly. Brooke sat silently shaking and trying not to vomit as she realized Sam could still die. And that she herself almost did.

"I'm very sorry, your daughter suffered a skull fracture from when her head impacted with the car's windshield and is in a coma. I believe it's a combination of pressure on the brain caused the fracture and blood loss that resulted in lack of oxygen to the brain. We operated to relieve the pressure and all we can do now is wait and see how she does."

"Oh my God," Jane whispered not able to say anymore. Her baby, her first born and the only piece of her first husband she had left was lying in the hospital near death and she wasn't sure if she could handle it. If it wasn't for Mike's strong hand on her back and Brooke's hand in her own, Jane knew she would have fainted. As it was, Josh and Carmen were picking a lightheaded Lily up off of the floor. With a resigned sigh the doctor cleared his throat.

"Mr. and Mrs. McPherson?" Mike looked back at the doctor but didn't bother to correct him.

"Please tell me there isn't more," Mike practically begged. The doctor shook his head.

"I am truly sorry. Honestly, if that car had hit her straight on instead of in the side we wouldn't be having this conversation. I'd be directing you to our Chaplin right now. She wouldn't have survived if it had hit her at that speed at any other angle. It's a miracle she's made it this far."

"But," Mike prompted, just wanting to hear it and move on to helping Sam recover. And Mike vowed, for Jane and Brooke's sakes as well as his own, that she would recover.

"Unfortunately, even if she does wake up from the coma, and I can't give you any guarantees as to when, or even if, there's been some significant swelling around her spinal cord."

"What does that mean, Dr.?" Jane asked, already knowing and dreading the answer as time seemed to slow and the world stopped spinning.

"There may be some damage to her spinal chord. Until the swelling goes down and we can get a better look, we won't know for sure. But if there is damage, it could mean that even if she does survive, there's a good chance Samantha will never walk again."

BEDSIDE VIGIL

Nightmares are never so vivid as when you're awake. At least that's what Brooke decided idly as she sat by Sam's bedside six days later. And that was what it this whole thing seemed to be to her too, a living nightmare. And she desperately wished someone would wake her the Hell up sometime soon because she felt like she was dying.

She held Sam's limp hand as she watched the ventilator pump air into Sam's collapsed lung and she listened to the somewhat reassuring beep of the heart monitor by Sam's head. Brooke both loved and loathed that damn machine. On one hand it told her Sam was still there, still holding on, however tenuously to life, but on the other hand it was a glaring reminder of the horrible, brutal reality they now lived with. It was killing her to see the normally spirited brunette lying there so pale and still.

"Come on, Sam, gotta wake up soon, everybody misses you," Brooke continued her self-appointed job of talking to Sam even though her voice had given out a few days earlier. She managed to either avoid school all together or got out early to stay at the hospital as much as possible. After the first few days, Mike and Jane realized that there was no detering Brooke from Sam's side. They barely got her to go home most of the time.

To Brooke, home was where she went to change her clothes, shower, and sometimes sleep if the hospital staff were being jerks and actually made her go home. But most of the time they didn't bother. They knew a futile battle when they saw one as well. She had a cot in Sam's room and they made sure she ate regularly. Besides, being home was too hard for Brooke because it was Sam's home too. Even though Sam and Jane had only moved in less than a year ago, Sam's influence was all over the house. Little knick-knacks, pictures from Sam's childhood, silly things would remind Brooke of something Sam said or did and it was like reliving that night all over again. So Brooke simply avoided home too.

The few times she did go home to sleep, she ended up in Sam's room, lying in her bed crying. The bed smelled of Sam and it was a comforting smell to Brooke. She decided that the hospital room was too antiseptic and brought a couple of Sam's favorite things over to make it more familiar for when Sam woke up. And Brooke had no doubt that she would. She brought in a blanket, Sam's favorite pillow, and a photo of Sam's dad, a radio and Sam's favorite CDs. Other than that Brooke couldn't think of anything else to do but talk. So she did, about everything.

She started by apologizing for the accident and promised to apologize again when Sam was conscious and vowed to somehow make it up to the comatose girl. Then she told Sam how she and Harrison had had a long talk about what happened between the three of them and how guilty the two of them felt and what Nicole had done. Brooke asked Sam if she knew that Nicole was the driver, and she figured, somehow, Sam did. She talked about their childhood, what she knew about Sam's at least and she opened up to Sam about her mother and why she like Jane so much and thanked Sam for being able to share such a wonderful mother.

She talked about Lily and Josh being married, (who smoked what and where?) Mary Cherry and B. Ho (Huh? That's a funny one, huh, Sam. Great material for the paper) and how George had had to transfer to yet another school because his parents were moving yet again. He'd been by to visit once but that was it. He apologized to Brooke but she just lit into him about everything, the way she felt he'd hurt Sam and he never came back. Brooke apologized to Sam about that (gotta watch my temper, huh, Sammy?).

"Anyway, Dad went back to work today. He wasn't happy about it but Mom and I insisted. Mom's at home taking care of Mac; she's got a little cold. Nothing to worry about though. She's fine. A little fighter; like her big sister Sam. Right, Sam?" Not really expecting an answer but kind of hoping, Brooke sighed in disappointment.

"Gotta tell you Sam, not liking this silent treatment thing you've got going on although it's nice to get a word in edgewise for a change. I never realized how much you monopolize conversations," she joked hoping for a challenge. Again she sighed disappointed. "Just kidding. I'd really love to hear your voice right now. Even if it was to yell at me for what's happened." She looked at the still figure beside her and figured she was in her own private Hell having to watch Sam like this. She wondered what she did to deserve it; maybe it was God's way of punishing her for her feelings for Sam. But she knew that she'd rather spend the rest of her days fighting with the sharp-tongued journalist than watch her wither away like this.

"Mom said she'll be by later after Carmen comes by to take care of Mac. Yup got us a regular little au pair with Carmen. Dad too, he'll be by after work I mean, not an au pair. Josh and Lily send their love but they have to go straight to work after school. Josh works at a record store and Lily got a job at Target, but I probably all ready told you that, huh? Sorry if I'm repeating myself. Anyway, Harrison will be by later, he's going to bring my schoolwork by. Can you believe we're almost senoirs? A few weeks more and summer'll be here. Although if you keep up with the Sleeping Beauty routine you'll end up a junior again. Can't let us all get ahead of you Sam, you'll never hear the end of it."

"Mary Cherry and her father, uhm, whatever, not even going to go there although I know you'd get a big laugh out of that one, are fighting Cherry Cherry for part of the Cherry-Estrada estate. Something about Sweet Honey Chile, yes that's his name, he's a drag queen Sam, you'd love it, sueing Cherry Cherry for like, half her earnings because he raised Mary Cherry's twin without child support. And, oh God, Mary Cherry's twin B. Ho. What a spaz! Although, the whole splitting of the egg and sperm thing sure explains a lot about Mary Cherry. Dip too many times in the gene pool and you're eventually going to bang your head on the shallow end." Brooke laughed but it came out as more of a sigh.

"I can almost hear you laughing but please, Sam, wake up soon so I can hear it for real. I've never seen you so still for so long, not even when you're sleeping," Brooke caught herself as she realized she just admitted to at some point in time watching Sam sleep and blushed despite the fact she was alone in the room.

"Not that I spend time watching you sleep or anything, because that would just be creepy, right? Aside from right now, that is. It's just, a few days before prom you fell asleep on the couch and I found you there all curled up and you looked so peaceful and cute and�" she caught herself again put her head in her free hand and sighed deeply.

"I'm pathetic, you know that? Well, of course you do, you've only spent you're entire life trying to point it out in some way or another. Not that I hold it against you or anything, cuz I don't. Bygones and all that. But here I am, watching you slip further and further away in your coma and I'm hitting on you, telling you how irresistiblely cute you are when you sleep. Utterly pathetic, Brooke," she chastized herself as she laid her head on the bed beside Sam.

"I'm so tired, Sam. I don't think I've had a decent night's sleep since you left. I keep reliving that awful moment. I miss you so much. I need you, Sammy. Please come back soon," Brooke asked as she drifted off to sleep.

BROOKE, SAM, AND GOD (OR GOD HAS A WICKED SENSE OF HUMOR)

Brooke suddenly found herself standing in the empty hospital room alone. There was an empty bed a few feet away but no machines chirping or beeping, no ventilator whirring and most importantly, no Sam. Terror lanced through her entire body, as she feared that Sam had died.

"Sam? Oh God, where are you Sam?" she called out to the empty room, unable to move as she was frozen in place by her fear.

"Sam's not here right now but I can take a message and maybe she'll get back to you. Although I wouldn't hold my breath," a soothing voice came from behind Brooke causing her to spin around. There stood a woman with long red hair and a kind face. It took a minute but after studying the person in front of her, Brooke realized who it was from Harrison's description. "You're, you're God," Brooke gasped in disbelief. God nodded.

"Yup. In the not so solid flesh, as it were. Have a seat, Brooke, we need to talk." Brooke sat down on the edge of the bed and faced God. She didn't know what to do, cry or laugh. (Harrison was right, how strange is that?)

"I called you here to talk, Brooke," God started.

"About Sam?" Brooke asked, afraid that God was going to tell her that Sam was going to die. God nodded.

"Yes, Sam. And a few other things too, but most importantly Sam. Do you know why I didn't appear to you that night Harrison tried to bring you to me?" Brooke shook her head. "Because you didn't need me. You had your guidance, your center, whether you realized it or not. You eventually swore over Harrison's frail and sick body to recover. I knew that you were going to be able to make the choice to recover on your own. Simply put, you didn't need me at that point in time."

"But I do need you now. Please don't let my Sammy die," Brooke begged near tears. Somewhere in her mind Brooke repeated the phrase `my Sammy' in confusion but ignored it for now. God held up her hand to silence the young girl.

"Believe it or not, the decision is out of my hands now," Brooke arched an eyebrow in question.

"You're God, how can it be out of your hands? You've `got the whole world in your hands'," Brooke pointed out using the lyrics to the old song. God smiled.

"Yes, I do. But I lost control of the situation the second Sam put herself in front of that car. You know what I love about humans, Brooke?" Brooke shook her head. "Free will. It is what sets you apart from everything else, the ability to make your own decisions. It's what makes you unique. It's also what makes you unpredictable and not a little uncontrollable at times. Sam chose to push you out of the way and get hit, I didn't make her do that."

"So I was supposed to die?" Brooke asked fearful. (Was God here to claim me?) God shook her head.

"Yes and no. I know the doctor said that no one would have survived being hit head on at that speed but I'm God, what does he know? This was meant to do several things. It was meant to strengthen your family and bring you together; it was to solidify your relationship with Sam only right now you have the roles reversed."

"Relationship? We're good friends now and I think we'll make great sisters," Brooke deflected the comment nonchalantly. God raised an eyebrow in the `Nice try' gesture and smiled.

"You know what I mean. You feel more for that girl than you think you should. More than the Bible says is right. Phoey. What does your heart tell you, Brooke? And don't embarrass yourself by trying to lie, I'm God, I made you. I'll know." Brooke took a deep breath, jumped off the edge and spoke her heart. She figured if she couldn't be honest with God, she had bigger problems than she thought.

"I think that love is colorblind, that's for sure. But I think it's gender blind too. I think that true love just is. It doesn't care what society or religion thinks or says is right, it only cares what your heart and soul tell you is right and what makes you feel complete."

"What I feel for Sam is different than what I've ever felt for someone before. I look forward to seeing her just to see her and how it makes me feel. I want to hear her talk to know what she thinks and what she feels. I don't care what we do when we're together just so long as she's there. I get excited just thinking about being near her and I look forward to just telling her about my day. I need to see her, hear her voice, her laugh, everything about her just fills me with this feeling I can't describe. I guess what I'm trying to say is that she makes me feel that no matter what else is wrong in my life, if she's there, everything is right. I love her with every fiber of my being and if that doesn't jive with society, tough." God smiled widely.

"Very well spoken, Brooke. I'm proud of you," Brooke blushed under the praise (this is God, after all) but then turned serious again.

"But what about Sam? Will she make it?" God sighed.

"I don't know. I know, not very reassuring to hear that from God, but what can I say? Sam holds her cards very close to her chest. She's a tricky one, that girl. Whether she pulls through this or not is entirely up to her at this point. I can't push things either way. It's kind of frustrating actually. I like Sam, I've got plans for her, and you."

"If you can't help Sam, and you want me to accept my feelings for her, OK. But why else did you do this? Why did Nicole try to kill me?"

"Redemption," God said simply.

"OK, not following," Brooke pointed out.

"Everyone deserves a chance at redemption, Brooke. Even Nicole Julian."

"She's not getting one this time, God. She had one that time she got the cat for Nurse Glass at Christmas or donated bone marrow for Harrison and saved him. She's all out of `Get out of Jail Free' cards in my opinion."

"Those were small steps, Brooke. Whether you want to believe it or not, Nicole carries a lot of emotional baggage around with her and it gets in the way of her better judgement most of the time."

"How do you find redemption when you tried to run down your best friend with your Jaguar while you were totally tanked?" Brooke asked frustrated and angry. God shrugged.

"That struggle is part of her journey and yours and Sam's. Nicole had to hit rock bottom before she could begin her true journey on the right path. Besides, sometimes you find redemption and forgiveness in the strangest places."

"This is so not making me feel better," Brooke sighed. God laughed.

"Relax Brooke, you're doing everything you can to help Sam. If it makes you feel any better I'll let you in on a little secret. She /can/ hear you. Every word you say, every one of your emotions, are a part of what is keeping her soul anchored to her body. Your voice, Brooke, your love. Keep talking to her, but don't push her. Maybe she'll come back to you."

"Maybe? You're God and the best you can give me is `maybe'?" Brooke asked incredulously, thinking somewhere in the back of her mind that maybe getting snotty with God wasn't the smartest idea but, oh well, too late now.

"Hey, even I rested on the seventh day. I may be perfect and all knowing, but Sam's somewhere she doesn't want to leave right now. Give her time, though. She might change her mind." Brooke's eyes got wide with realization.

"Do you know where she is? Can I talk to her?" God thought a minute.

"That would break a lot of rules," God said. Brooke frowned.

"You wrote the rules, didn't you?" God grinned.

"Yeah, I suppose I did. I know where she is and I will let you see her, but I have a few conditions. It's only for a few minutes and don't tell her too much of what we've said here. And you can't force her to come back if she doesn't want to."

"Deal," Brooke said happily. God motioned to the door and it opened, revealing a lush green pasture lying beyond it. "It's beautiful," Brooke breathed in awe.

"Yes, it is. Now go," God ushered Brooke though the door. "Go find her but only a couple of minutes, OK?" Brooke nodded and before she could say `Thank you', the door shut, disappeared and left her in the field.

"Sam?" she called. "Sammy you out here?"

"She's over there by the river," a male voice came from behind her. Brooke turned to face a man she'd seen only in a photograph. Joe McPherson. He smiled brightly at her and gave her a huge hug. "She doesn't belong here, Brooke but she won't listen to me. Maybe she'll listen to you, you're all she talks about."

"I'm pleased to meet you," Brooke managed to say. Joe had the same warm eyes Sam did and they twinkled at her as he spoke.

"And I an honored to meet someone my daughter obviously cares enough for to risk her life," he told her. Brooke looked away, suddenly unable to meet his friendly gaze.

"You're not mad, are you?" she asked in a small voice.

"Of course not, Brooke. Sammy was doing what came naturally to her. There's no one to blame especially not you," Joe told her warmly.

"Is this Heaven?" he shook his head.

"No, because neither Sam nor you are dead. I'm here because Sam needed me. This is sort of an in-between place, I guess."

"It's beautiful," Brooke repeated.

"Yes, it is. I used to take Sam out hiking to a place very much like this when she was little, which is why, I suppose, we're here. Now come on, you're wasting time." He led her over to where Sam sat beside the stream, dangling her legs in the water and watching her reflection. Brooke sat down next to Sam who looked up for a second and smiled before looking back at the water.

"I miss you," Brooke said simply to start. Sam nodded.

"Miss you too. You OK?"

"Yup, a few scrapes and bruises. I think you missed out in a career in hockey or roller derby, although it's something to think about if the whole writing thing doesn't pan out." Sam smiled.

"I'll keep that in mind. Everyone else OK?"

"We're fine, but we miss you terribly. Life isn't the same without you. No one to fight with over the bathroom, no one mocking my choice in friends or my cheerleading outfit, no one to trick into changing Mac's diaper for me," Brooke joked. She watched as different scenes from shared experiences reflected back at them in the water.

There were scenes from the Novak, the night Mike and Jane surprised them with the news of their relationship at the party, being in Bio Glass's class together, the first argument over the bathroom, one of the spectacular food fights in the lunch room, more miscellaneous scenes and then finally, the prom all floated past them in vivid color. Brooke watched them all with interest wondering what they meant. Some were significant, she remembered them, but others weren't but they must have meaning to Sam, she figured.

"What's all this?" Brooke asked pointing to the scenes. Sam looked at her and shrugged.

"Memories, I guess. Just stuff I was thinking about," Sam explained softly.

"We've been through a lot of crap, haven't we?"

"Yeah, we have. I wouldn't trade a minute of it, though. Would you?" Sam asked as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Brooke shook her head.

"Not for anything," Brooke said honestly. They sat quietly for a few minutes watching scenes from their life pass by.

"I don't wanna go back," Sam said suddenly, looking for the entire world like a lost two-year-old. Brooke wrapped her arms around Sam's shoulders and pulled her close.

"Why?"

"Cuz my Dad's here and I miss him," Sam said as she started to cry. Brooke let Sam rest her head on her shoulder.

"I know you do Sammy, but you don't belong here, you know that. Your Dad knows that too. Nice guy, by the way, I met him. But think of your poor mom, Sam. You are all Jane has left of Joe, Sam. A small, living piece of her first true love. Proof that all the pain was worth it. You cash out now and she has nothing."

"That's not fair, she has you and Mike and Mac," Sam argued as she wiped away a few tears and sniffed.

"But we're not you. We're not Sam. As much as I know Jane loves me as a daughter, I will never `be' her daughter. And as much as Mac is her daughter, you are her first born. She needs you, Sam. We all do."

"But it's going to hurt," Sam told her pitifully. Brooke's heart broke at the realization that Sam was right and she wondered if maybe wanting Sam to come back knowing that the pain was going to be unbearable wasn't somehow wrong, selfish even. Joe appeared a few feet away and shook his head.

"Pain is temporary, Sam," he said quietly. "Love is forever." Sam raised her head and regarded him quizzically.

"When did you become a badly written Hallmark card?" This made them all laugh.

"Brooke knows what I mean. You will too, Sammy. Soon." Sam looked back and forth between her father and Brooke a few times trying to understand. They just smiled at her. Joe looked away for a second and then looked back at Brooke.

"Time's almost up," Brooke nodded and turned back to Sam.

"Look, Sam, you have to come back. I know it's going to be painful for you and while I can't even begin to fathom how bad it's going to be you're not going to go through it alone. Come back because I can't stand to watch you lie there in that bed not moving. Come back because I'm selfish and want someone to talk to, argue with, watch Mac grow with, and do all the stupid things we were supposed to do with. Come back because I can't imagine my life without you in it."

"You finally admit you're selfish and I'm in a coma, gee, thanks," Sam chided making Brooke laugh. "Remind me to get hit by a car more often."

"Wake up and I'll say it again," Brooke promised with a smile.

"Will I remember any of this?" Sam asked. Brooke looked at Joe.

"Some," he said. "You both will remember what's important, the emotions. You've really got to get going, Brooke."

"OK. Coming home soon, Sam?" she asked as she stood up. Sam watched her go and shrugged.

"Maybe. I'll think about it but I can't make any promises. Keep talking to me, though. I like hearing your voice, Brooke. It's soothing. Feels like home." Brooke bent down and hugged Sam before giving her a light kiss on the forehead.

"Come home to me, Sammy," she whispered, her voice thick with unspoken emotion. "I love you," she ventured, needing to take the chance and tell Sam now before it was too late. Just in case Sam didn't come home to her. The field and Sam started to fade away in front of Brooke but just before it disappeared completely, she heard the whispered response.

"I love you too, Brooke."

Brooke woke up with such a start that she nearly fell out of her chair. She was back in Sam's hospital room and nothing had changed. Brooke studied the motionless figure in front of her for any hint of change but could find none. She settled back into her seat for a few minutes, thinking over the dream. Then she started talking again. Sam had asked her too, after all.

CONVICT 24601

A few days later, Brooke reluctantly ventured away from the hospital to the one place she really didn't want to go, juvenile hall. They were keeping Nicole here despite her families protests under worry that she was a flight risk. With all the money the Julian family had as well as their ovewhelming desire to save face, it probably wasn't far from the mark. But Brooke felt a visit to her former best friend was in order since no one else had been by to see her. It had silently been agreed upon, by some unspoken rule that Nicole was strictily off-limits.

Nicole was led into the room and Brooke almost laughed. There stripped of all her rich coverings, her makeup, Gucci and Prada clothing and airs was the real Nicole Julian. No muss, no fuss. No contact lenses either and her hair hanging down. Oddly enough, the girl was still attractive, if somewhat subdued in her homely orange jumpsuit. When she saw Brooke her face lit up for a second but quickly shut down again.

"I'm going to guess and say this isn't a social visit, B?" Nicole asked quietly. Brooke glared at her from across the table for a minute. Nicole sighed. "If there was anything I could do to change what I did�"

"Stop, Nicole, just stop it. I don't believe a word that comes out of your mouth so just shut up," Brooke hissed. Nicole looked away, hurt by the words but understanding where they were coming from. She saw the anger and rage in Brooke's eyes the same as she did the night of the accident. She took a good look at the girl in front of her and barely recognized her former friend. Brooke's eyes were dull and red instead of lively and energetic and her face was ashen. The thought that Sam had died filled Nicole with a terror and grief that she hadn't felt since her Nana had died.

"Is Sam�" she choked, unable to finish the sentence. Brooke threw a few photos on the table for her to see.

"Still alive, no thanks to you. Here, take a good look at your handiwork, Nic. She probably won't appreciate the fact that I took these pictures but I thought you would want to see the outcome of your little drunken driving spree. You should be proud. You never liked her anyway. Now she lies in a coma, dead to the world and you put her there. You did because she was trying to protect me from you."

Nicole's hands picked up the photos of their own free will and she looked at them reluctantly. There was Sam, lying deathly still wrapped in more gauze than King Tut and hooked up to more wires than Nicole guessed were attached to her VCR. Her head was swathed in bandages almost totally hiding her hair; her face was a mottled pattern of purple and black bruises and cuts. Sam's right arm was in a cast, her left knee in a brace and in traction. Her right leg was in a cast also and she had one of those hideous collars on to keep her neck straight. Nicole felt her stomach roll and she closed her eyes as a tear fell unbidden down her cheek.

"What you can't see in those pictures are the damages inside. She's paralyzed, Nic. The doctor's aren't sure if she'll walk again. Congratulations, you sure did a bang up job. Pardon the pun. Are you happy?" Brooke spat angrily. Nicole set the pictures down, opened her eyes, and faced the irate blonde across from her.

"How could you honestly think I could be happy? God, Brooke, I'm a bitch, not a psycho. I wasn't in my right mind when I did this. I never would hurt anyone, you or Spam, er, Sam intentionally. Yes, there were times that I may have wished bodily harm on her but Jesus I never actually meant it. Whether you want to believe it or not, somewhere deep inside, I do actually have a heart," Nicole said softly. It was true, she did, she just spent so long hiding it that she forgot it was there most of the time.

"You're right, Nic, I don't believe you," Brooke growled. A few more tears slipped down Nicole's face.

"That's not fair, Brooke. You were the best friend I ever had�"

"And yet you tried to kill me! Some way to pay back my friendship! Since that failed what are you going to try next? Arsenic in my diet Pepsi? Shoot me in the back, God knows you stabbed me there enough," Brooke continued her tirade. Normally Nicole would be impressed by the way Brooke was unleashing her inner bitch but right now all it was serving to do was hurt her.

"It was an accident for Christ's sake! I was drunk and upset! I was wrong and I admit that. If I didn't do you honestly think I'd be sitting here in this God-awful outfit? Without makeup? I know that you can never forgive me, I can't forgive mysef but at least know that I'm sorry, Brooke. It's all I have left to give you," Nicole finished, hanging her head down. Brooke stood up.

"It's not enough, Nicole. It'll never be enough after what you've done. So save your crocodile tears and your apologies for someone who gives a rat's ass. I came here so you could see the damage you've caused. Keep the pictures as a reminder because I live with the reality each day," Brooke's voice finally cracked. "I hope it brings you joy as you rot in this Hell." Brooke banged on the door and waited for the guard to let her out.

"One more thing, Nic," Brooke added, her voice low, menacing. "Think about this: Sam leapt in front of that car to save me because she cares about me. She's capable of thinking about someone other than herself. If it was you in my place that night, do you honestly think anyone would have done the same thing for you? Would anyone have risked their life for yours? Now tell me which hurts more; getting hit by the car or the knowledge that there isn't a living soul on this planet that gives a damn whether you live or die? Not even me?" The guard finally let her out, leaving Nicole at the table crying.

"I said I was sorry," she wept. And she really and truly was.