by Trish Williams
What lies behind us and what lies before us are
tiny matters compared to what lies within us. – Ralph
Waldo Emerson
The Aschen are our salvation. At
least that’s the way I saw it.
Standing here
beside Teal’c and Daniel for this anniversary, all I can think about is
how fortunate we were to have come across the Aschen. On our world there is virtually no sickness, the human lifespan
has been doubled, and there is real peace across the face of the planet, thanks
to them,. Utopia has finally been
established on Earth, and never did I, Doctor Samantha Carter, believe that I’d
live to see it.
“Ladies and Gentlemen” a voice over the loudspeaker
reverberated through the J.R. Reed Space Terminal. “The President of the United
States.”
The soldier in me snaps to attention. Daniel seems
to notice I still have that military conditioning in me, even though I haven’t
had to salute anyone in almost six years.
I guess that old habits die-hard.
The view screen lowers down from the rafters like a
metallic spider descending upon its prey.
President Kinsey’s image plays across the screen, making him seem larger
than life. He’s looking quite friendly
sitting in a chair next to a roaring fire, trying to seem as if he’s your best
friend. I know enough dirt about Kinsey
not to be taken in by the act he’s putting on.
So I smile politely and wonder what kind of boring speech he’ll come up
with this time. I hope to God I don’t
fall asleep standing up.
“My fellow Americans. Ten years
ago this very day, a team code named SG-1, then working in secret, came upon an
alien race. The Aschen. And with that introduction I was able to
forge the greatest alliance this country, indeed this world has ever known.”
The polite applause bursts out. It reminds me of the kind of applause given
during those boring golf tournaments.
Personally I don’t think people do it because they found something
profound in the stroke. I think they’re
just so happy the damn hole is finished so they can move the infernal game
on. Giving Teal’c a brief look, I think
he realizes, as I do, that the applause is simply a courtesy- a show of respect
if you will, not because we all feel some burdening need to fall down on our
knees before Kinsey. But he is the
President, and he was my boss when the military existed, so I just look at
Teal’c and smile.
“I read now from Colonel Jack O’Neill’s mission report of that first
contact. ‘These folks sound too good to
be true. Willing to share their science
and technology. Friendly. Smarter than we are. One thing’s for sure. The Goa’uld are coming. The Aschen could save our asses.’”
That was true, they definitely could. Damnit if Kinsey still couldn’t pronounce
the word ‘goa’uld’ right to save his life.
But telling him he’s pronouncing it wrong is like telling the Emperor he
has no clothes on.
“Well guess what
Jack? They did.”
More of the ‘golf’ clapping erupts.
I don’t know why I feel so impatient about all of this. I’m proud this is the tenth anniversary of
SG-1 making contact with the Aschen, but a part of me wishes this was all over
now. I could just go back home and
spend the day in bed with my husband, instead of standing here with over a hundred
pairs of eyes looking at my former teammates and me.
“Jack O’Neill
could not be here today, but those candid words hurriedly scratched down in a
mission report ten years ago were prescient.
Membership in the Aschen confederation guarantees the security, the
health, and the future of every human being on God’s green Earth.”
Out the corner of my eye, I can’t help but notice an especially proud
look on Teal’c’s face. That last
statement Kinsey made really hits home for him.
“Doctor Daniel
Jackson, Doctor Samantha Carter, Teal’c.
Would you please step forward?"
I toss a brief look at Daniel as all three of us
walk up the ‘gate ramp. It’s hard for
me to remember the last time I’ve gone through the stargate. Janet, Daniel, and Teal’c have definitely
gone through it more times than I have in recent years. I’m just glad the Aschen didn’t give Teal’c
a hassle about coming here. ‘Gate travel to any world that isn’t in the Aschen
confederation is highly regulated.
Mentally I shake my head, realizing what SG-1 has
gone through in these ten years. We’ve
been apart more than we’ve seen each other, but we’ve managed to stay in
touch. I try to see Cassandra as much
as possible but with her attending college now it’s difficult. She has her own friends, so hanging out
with her mom and Auntie Sam isn’t high on her priority list. I envy Janet. At least she got to be a mother. These days, she seems more
distraught that Cassie’s left the nest than her being out of a job because of
the Aschen doctors.
Daniel sends me e-mail regularly, and on occasion
we talk on the phone, but he’s so involved with learning Aschen history, and
fascinated with their artifacts and culture that we don’t talk nearly as much
as we did at the SCG. And within the
past year our conversations haven’t been very upbeat. I think he’s still hurting over what happened between him and
Janet. Hell, they’re both still hurting
over it. But unlike Daniel, Janet has
recovered. I don’t think Daniel ever
will.
Is it possible to be so damaged by things that have
happened in your life that you never recover?
Daniel is such a sweet soul. He
always tries to see the good in people.
And when good people or good things or both are taken away from him,
he’s got to have a reason to fight back.
Travelling through the stargate in hopes of finding Sha’re, then in
hopes of finding the Harcesis, then in the hopes of seeing Shifu again- those
all gave him reasons to fight back. But
when this last thing that happened…I guess immersing himself in research about
the Aschen is his way of dealing with things.
He and Janet need to talk, to heal.
I guess in their case, healing apart was preferable to healing together.
Then there’s Teal’c. I haven’t seen him in a long time. Daniel tells me he comes earth side on a regular basis, but of all
those times, he hasn’t come by to see me once.
Not that I can blame him given his situation. Even if he did visit, it would have been hard to talk to him. Not hard to talk to him about days gone by
at the SGC, or how Rya’c is doing, or about Drey’auc, just…other stuff. And it has nothing to do with him and
everything to do with me. Knowing
Teal’c as I do, he’ll have a tendency to blame himself for my social
discomfort.
Perhaps it’s best this way, seeing him at the
ceremony. I watch with amusement as
Teal’c gives polite looks to the people in the crowd. He definitely smiles more these days and is much more comfortable
around humans than he used to be. I’m
hoping he’ll hang around after the ceremony so we can talk for a while. And I wonder if he’s talked to Jack
recently.
Jack.
Eventually it comes down to him.
There’s a part of me that expects him to come strolling in claiming to
be fashionably late—as if the Colonel ever had any fashion sense to begin
with. But as the ceremony goes on, it
finally hits me that he’s not coming, and I can’t mask the disappointment I
feel inside.
Maybe its best he doesn’t come, but a part of me
knows that it isn’t. The Colonel being
gone is like a gaping hole to everyone who looks up at us on the ‘gate ramp. It’s like the ‘missing man’ formation in the
sky—a blatant reminder that someone you relied upon is gone. But Jack isn’t gone. He just chose not to show up. And that’s his way of telling us, point
blank, that he’s never going to trust the Aschen. And it’s also his way of telling the Aschen they
could all kiss his ass. All I can do
is straighten my posture, smile for the recording devices, and accept the fact
that I may never see Colonel Jack O’Neill again.
It’s a bitter pill to take.
The medals are put around our necks: first Teal’c,
Daniel, and then me. I look over at
where my husband is standing, looking so proud of me. It takes a lot for me to stifle a giggle as he gives me two
‘thumbs up’. God, I love him so much.
“Though our
nation’s business has kept me from being with you in person, nonetheless I want
to thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you have done for me, and for
our country. God bless you all.”
The applause rings again through the terminal, the
acoustics making it seem extraordinarily loud.
I notice this isn’t the polite golf clap applause, or common courtesy
applause. It feels genuine and it makes
me feel vindicated. Who would have
thought a world we visited almost ten years to this very day, could have
changed the course of human history, helped Earth eradicate its greatest enemy,
and in a way, brought to me a man I pledged to spend the rest of my life with.
Ten years ago, P4C-970 was nothing but a
computer-generated planet address on our mission list for the month. When SG-1, stepped through that gate and saw
the awesome civilization on the other side in living color, we knew we’d found
an ally in our fight against the goa’uld.
Jack was happy to see that, unlike the Tollan, the Aschen were willing
to assist us in defeating the goa’uld and had no qualms about ‘lending’ us
their technology to get the job done.
In their eyes, a written treaty was merely a diplomatic formality.
But it wasn’t long before Jack changed his mind and became the
designated party pooper.
Colonel Jack O’Neill subscribed to the philosophy
that if something sounded too good to be true, it probably was. A prime example of this was the
Eurondans. Sure, they were willing to
share all of their advanced technology with Earth in exchange for heavy water,
and our assistance in helping to exterminate the ‘breeders’ of their
world. The Aschen didn’t seem that way
at all, but Jack still didn’t trust them.
Then there was that ominous showdown in the briefing room. It seemed for every reason Daniel, Teal’c,
or I gave for entering into an alliance with the Aschen, Jack had another
reason for us not to. Time was growing
short, and it wouldn’t be long before Apophis or Osiris came back to wipe us
off the face of the planet. We needed a
strong ally who wasn’t against sharing their technology with us, and the Aschen
were that ally. Jack was outvoted, and
nothing was the same since.
You know, it’s funny. You think your life will turn
out one way and then fate decides to have a sense of humor and put the screws
to you. After the Stargate Program was
revealed to the world, along with our impending alliance with the Aschen and
admittance into their confederation, I thought Jack and I would finally get
together. Don’t get me wrong- it wasn’t
like I was holding my breath waiting for it to happen, but I wouldn’t be human
if I didn’t admit to the anticipation I felt.
All those years of abiding by the regulations that didn’t allow for the
type of relationship we wanted to have.
But the cost of Earth’s alliance with the Aschen was that any type of
romantic relationship between Jack and I was precluded. We’d done too many things to hurt each
other, said too many hurtful things we couldn’t take back. And when I met Joe and we fell in love, the
announcement of our wedding was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s
back.
Given that Joe’s specialty was foreign policy and
he had a high enough security clearance, he got the chance to accompany SG-9 to
formalize the alliance between the Earth nation state known as the United
States of America and the Aschen.
After they wiped out the goa’uld, the other nations of the world were
clamoring to become part of the Aschen confederation so they could reap the
same benefits we had. There was so much
about my husband that Jack was not. He
didn’t seem suspicious of the Aschen all the time, didn’t toss my awe at their
achievements in my face, and he was always emotionally available to me. To be fair, he wasn’t fighting the same
demons Jack was. But I should stop about comparing him to Jack. I told myself on our wedding day that once
we became man and wife, I would stop doing that. I should have recognized that lie right then and there. I haven’t stopped comparing them; I’ve just
slowed the frequency with which I do it.
I know something is wrong with me. And I know Joe can sense it too. We’ve been trying for three agonizing years to have a child with absolutely
no luck. When you spend your life
actively trying not to get pregnant,
then start trying to conceive, it’s
shocking as hell to realize that it’s harder than you thought. Not that I don’t mind trying, and Joe
doesn’t either, but like him, I thought we’d be working on our second kid now. My father has grandchildren from my brother,
Mark, but I want to give him some as well.
It’s high time I became a mother myself— to see first hand what all the
hype and mystery is about.
What I’d like to know is, what the hell is so wrong
with my husband and I that we can’t produce a child? Is this the price I have to pay for traveling through the
stargate? The Aschen doctors told me
‘gate travel does not affect fertility by any significant amount, but I’m not
so sure about that. It seems to be the
only logical thing that separates me from women who have been able to conceive. I know, I know, there are women fighting
infertility who haven’t had their atoms deconstructed and reconstructed halfway
across the galaxy, so I shouldn’t just up and blame ‘gate travel. But I can’t help it.
A part of me thinks ‘gate travel is just plain
sexist. I can name a host of people at
the SGC who have fathered children even after the gate was packed up and moved
here to Washington. And as for women,
the precious few that have gone through the gate, I only know of two who have
managed to become pregnant. One had to
go through round after round of in-vitro fertilization before she got pregnant,
and the other was deemed an accident
due to birth control failure. As for
that second one, I wish I had her luck.
Despite everything that’s happened, we’d be in much
worse shape if the Aschen hadn’t come to our rescue. Granted, we’re more dependent on them now, but we’re much better
off for it. And as more nations of the
world join the Aschen confederations, we’re become more peaceful than at any
time in our history.
Even Colonel Jack O’Neill couldn’t argue with that.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
It is way too early to be drinking. At least that’s what I tell myself.
Picking up a glass of champagne, I make my way over
to where my friends are gathered. I
haven’t seen Sam in three years, and I haven’t seen her husband since the
wedding. Teal’c I haven’t seen in
almost five years. Jack…it’s been even
longer. And Janet…she’s another story.
Sam’s wedding was such a beautiful affair. It almost looked tailor-made by Martha
Stewart herself. Some people thought it
would be Jack, not Joe that she’d end up with but destiny had other plans. Jack had made an appearance since he was
invited out of courtesy. He was there
for the ceremony, there to kiss the bride and shake the groom’s hand in the
receiving line, there to leave a wedding gift and then he was gone. Sam tried not to look hurt but I could tell
that she was.
Teal’c went back to Chulak not long after the war
with the Goa’uld ended. Since they were
no longer a threat thanks to the Aschen, he wanted to go back home. Not that I could blame him for doing
so. He doesn’t stay there for long
periods of time though. Occasionally,
when he’s visiting earth side, I’ll get a call from him. He visits earth a lot more than he lets on.
What I really want to know is what the hell is
Jack’s problem? I know he’s still sore
over the alliance between Earth and the Aschen, but I figured he could put it
aside and come to the ceremony. The
president was finally acknowledging how we’d helped to save the world, and Jack
decides not to show up. Jesus, that guy
can be such an ass when he wants to be.
I’m glad Janet is here. Even with all we’ve been through, it makes me happy that she
decided to come. Things haven’t been
the best between us, especially this past year. And I’m not proud of how I handled things. She blamed herself and I just let her. The Aschen had already taken her job. The last thing she needed to put up with was
my shit. After all these years, me
still hurting about losing Sha’re, how I haven’t seen Shifu in over ten years,
Kasuf’s death, Skaara’s accident…I just couldn’t handle another loss. And what made it hurt even more was, I
didn’t even have a face to associate this loss with.
She’s thrown herself into what work she could, and
I’ve buried myself in the work that I have to do. We’ve been able to speak amicably, but not on that intimate level
we did over a year ago. To complete
strangers, we appear to be the best of friends. But to our friends, and to each other, we know we’re very good at
hiding what hurts us. These days, both
of our lives revolve around either what the Aschen have done or are going to
do.
When we met the Aschen, I spent almost an entire
year in their cultural ‘boot camp’, trying to learn as much about them as
possible. In return, they made me some
sort of cultural emissary. Learning
their culture plus instructing them about the cultures of Earth was a massive
undertaking to say the least. Unlike at
the SGC, I’ve got a sizeable number of staff under me. It’s nice to be able to just do what I do
best instead of trying to fit into the world of the military.
“To General Hammond,” Sam said, raising her
champagne glass.
“To General Hammond,” I say. Everyone echoes her words as we clink
stemware. True to form, Teal’c’s glass
is filled with something non-alcoholic.
It looks like cranberry juice.
In all the years I’ve known him, he’s only had alcohol twice. Both times were for some good reasons.
Sam’s expression turned wistful. “I miss him, especially today.”
“Yeah, how long has it been anyway?” I ask.
“It has been six years.” Teal’c replied.
I’m trying not to say it, I really am, but
something within me can’t hold back.
“Which reminds me, what was Jack’s excuse?” I
prompt. “I expected to see him here.” I
don’t apologize at all for bringing it up.
Hell, somebody had to and it might as well be me.
Teal’c looks at me like I’ve asked a question I
should already know the answer to.
“O’Neill has made his feelings very clear concerning the Aschen
alliance,” he said.
“Well, he could have come to see us,” I retorted,
amused at the intrigued look Teal’c gives me.
He’s definitely made progress.
Ten years ago it would have been an eyebrow raise.
“Well, I almost didn’t come myself,” Janet
said.
“What?” I ask. I was a little shocked to hear her
say that. Surely it wasn’t because I would be here, was it? I tell myself Janet is too much of a
professional to let a personal conflict with her former lover prevent her from
seeing old friends.
“I mean it’s easier for you, Daniel. Your job wasn’t made obsolete. And if…” Janet stopped as one of the Aschen
approached our circle. “Mollem,” she
said, the pitch of her voice rising in recognition. It looked like she was covering up for talking behind the
Aschen’s back. It wouldn’t have been
the first time.
The Aschen male bowed his head briefly in
acknowledgement. “Forgive me for
interrupting,” he said, and then turned to Sam’s husband, Joe. “Ambassador, the Aschen delegation is eager
to hear about your visit to our south continent.”
“Yep,” Joe said.
“It’d be my pleasure.” Joe looked at Mollem briefly as he left, and then
gave Sam an apologetic look. “Well, I
think we can safely assume I’ll be late. Doctors, Teal’c, congratulations again.” Joe kissed his wife, nodded at us then walked off to commiserate
with the Aschen potentates.
Sam let out an anticipatory exhale. “So, where are we going?” She asked as if it
were a done deal.
“I had intended to return to Chulak,” Teal’c said
with a smile.
This I’m not surprised at. Even with the tattoo removed, Teal’c wasn’t
what you’d call a social butterfly.
Sam’s expression
fell. “Oh come on Teal’c, we haven’t
seen each other in ages. Please?”
Teal’c hadn’t seen any of us in ages, and we
were dying to find out first hand what’s been going on with him. The rest of us all talk to each other via
phone or e-mail on a regular basis. We
don’t hear a peep out of Teal’c until after the fact, and then it’s usually a
few months after the fact.
“Very well,” the Jaffa said. Nice to know Sam can still twist his arm as
only she can.
“Dinner?” I suggest. Everyone voices his or her approval, then we all part ways. I’d wanted to talk to Janet. To clear the air and apologize for my
screwed up behavior, but Sam’s has already pulled her to the side. From the looks of it, I’d be a third
wheel. Teal’c is walking somewhere with
purpose, and something tells me if I don’t catch up with him, I won’t see him
until dinner.
“Teal’c?” I ask as I catch up to him.
He stopped and turned around slowly. “Yes, Daniel
Jackson?”
“Um, it’s been awhile since we’ve seen each
other. Got some time to catch up? Since you’re not going back to Chulak right
away…”
Teal’c put his half-empty
glass onto a nearby table. “Would you
be offended if I requested we speak after dinner?” he asked. “There are several people I must visit on
Earth, and I do not wish to delay my journey.”
At first, I felt a little put off. But then I remembered just who those
important people were, and I couldn’t fault him for wanting to make an
impromptu visit. If I were in his shoes
I’d do the same thing.
“No, I wouldn’t be offended at all,” I say. “I’ll see you at dinner.”
Teal’c gives me a courtesy bow of the head before
resuming his journey. I know he’s
headed to Washington proper to visit one of the people on his ‘to see’
list. I realize how much I envy what
he’s about to do. It’s easy to get an
audience with the Secretary of State when he’s your father-in-law.
I’d trust Teal’c with my life, that’s a fact. But
there are times where I have to admit I’m human and get angry that he’s the one
responsible for choosing my wife to be Amunet’s slave, and then the one to kill
both of them. I’ve forgiven him long
ago, but it’s hard as hell to forget sometimes.
I guess that saying is true: Nobody forgets where
he buried the hatchet.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
The Tau’ri have a saying: The more things change,
the more they remain the same.
Sitting here at the restaurant bar, I await the
arrival of my friends for dinner. In my culture, it would not be considered
wise for a Jaffa to socialize where fermented beverages are freely served. After years of being among the Tau’ri, I
have found a way around it. I ask for a
‘virgin’ pina colada, smiling as I remember the person who introduced me to
this wonderful beverage, and showed me how I could enjoy it without breaking my
rule regarding consumption of alcohol.
It has been over ten years since I turned against
Apophis, and joined the cause of the Tau’ri and their allies in fighting the
Goa’uld. In doing so, I have lost my
position as First Prime, sent my family into exile to keep them safe, and lived
on a world that was not my own because I could not return to Chulak. But in joining the Tau’ri, I gained freedom
for my family and myself. That alone is
worth the trials and tribulations I have endured. Alongside SG-1, whose members
are my extended family, we have sought out allies and technology to help us
defeat the System Lords, and given protection to worlds that are not capable of
defending themselves against the Goa’uld.
Proven to be formidable allies in helping defeat
the Goa’uld, the Aschen were most willing to share all of their knowledge and
technology with the Tau’ri. Unlike the
Eurondans, they were not waging war against the people of their world who did
not look or behave as they did. Their
world was full of peace and harmony among all of their people, much like the
Tollan. It did not take a great deal of
effort on their part to avert the major offensive Apophis made against the
Earth, nor the attempt Osiris made to cause mass carnage. After neutralizing both offensives, the
Aschen ordered that all remaining Goa’uld be hunted down and killed, sending
the survivors into hiding. But without
hosts, they will have died quickly.
Despite all of their technology, I have found the
Aschen to be quite a paradox. They have
defeated the Goa’uld, brought peace to Earth and eradicated many of the
diseases that were fatal to the Tau’ri.
But they have not found a way to free the Jaffa of their dependence on
the larval goa’uld. I believe this is
mostly out of refusal to assist their enemy.
They want all of the goa’uld to die out, even their young. And the fact that the Jaffa will die as well
does not concern them. Some of my
people thought the Tau’ri would convince the Aschen to help them, but when the
answer was not affirmative, many of the few remaining Jaffa, still loyal to the
Tau’ri, turned against them. The Aschen’s
refusal to cure them was a death sentence, and the Jaffa declared the Tau’ri
were as much to blame as the Aschen for this.
In their eyes, the Tau’ri would never be forgiven for condemning them to
death.
On Chulak, there are few symbiotes available for
implantation. The goa’uld queens of
record are all dead, and no symbiotes have been delivered to Chulak since the
war’s end. I was fortunate to secure
one for Rya’c, and I pray that I can convince the Aschen to find a cure for
him. He has recently married, and I
hope he lives long enough to see the faces of his children.
Tossing a casual look into the mirrored wall
reflecting the various bottles of intoxicating drink, I notice just how easily
it is for me to look human. With the golden
mark of slavery now gone, the casual observer would think of me as Tau’ri from
another portion of this planet because of the way I am dressed. I will give the Aschen credit for the
procedure involved in removing the tattoo.
It has allowed me to blend better among the humans. I feel much more at ease among them without
the conspicuous mark of slavery upon my brow.
Smiling to myself, I think of the vast collection of baseball caps and
other head coverings I have amassed over the years.
As it was at the SGC, I have arrived ahead of
schedule. Among Jaffa, is it a show of
honor and respect to be early to a gathering.
Among the Tauri, tardiness in some social situations is a virtue. Taking another sip of the drink in my hand,
I find myself looking forward to talking with my friends and finding out what
has gone on in their lives. I must
thank Major Carter for convincing me to stay.
As a way to bide my time from this morning’s
ceremony until dinner, I sought an audience with the Secretary of State. I was most grateful he had the time to speak
with me, although he has said on several occasions he is always available
should I need to have words with him. I
reiterated to him the scarcity of symbiotes on Chulak, and impressed upon him
the need of a cure for my people. He
said he would do what he could to convince the Aschen to apply resources
towards this endeavor. But he also
warned me that such a thing may not happen, or if it does happen it would occur
slowly. Although I do not like to hear
such a thing may not be accomplished until after I have died, I have resolved
myself to such a fate. I owe it to my
people to find the cure to free them from slavery to the goa’uld, even if I
must die trying.
The Secretary of State was most happy to hear the
news I had to deliver to him—that his daughter, my Tau’ri wife, is again with
child. He wasted no time in spreading
this news to everyone, including the President. This will make the fourth child I have had with her. When she told me upon my visit last week, my
heart leapt with joy. We had not
planned to tell him of the child until next month, but something told me that
now was the time to let him know. She
was not anxious for another child, especially after giving birth to twin
sons, but with much…persuasion, I
managed to change her mind. I do not
know how much longer I have to live and it gives me much solace to see the
faces of my children—the ones who are free from genetic slavery to the goa’uld.
The first child was the most difficult, and not for
the usual reasons. On a world that
seems to cherish life, it was most confusing to me for something as simple as
the impending birth of a child could cause such widespread panic. Granted Kelsha was a most unexpected
surprise to both her mother and I, it was thought on several occasions that
with her arrival, the Stargate Program could have been exposed. With the Aschen defeating the Goa’uld, the
truth of Kelsha’s parentage, namely that I, her father, was not human could be
brought to light. I shudder to wonder
what could have happened if the Aschen had not defeated the Goa’uld and the
Stargate Program not been revealed.
Kelsha’s mother’s greatest fear was that she would be sequestered, as I
was, because her father was not human.
I am most thankful this fear did not come to pass.
As with O’Neill, my Tau’ri wife did not trust the
Aschen. But given that their arrival did
make things easier for our children she tolerates them. Many wonder why she allows me to live on
Chulak while she and our children remain on Earth. I tell them that Earth is their true home, and as much as I
desire to show my children the world of their father, it would not be safe for
them on Chulak. On my world, they are
seen as Tau’ri, even if their father was Jaffa. She and I have agreed it would be better that I reside primarily
on Chulak to best serve my people. Her
reasoning for this action was that I could not be on Earth long enough to drive
her crazy—the children do enough of that on their own.
Drey’auc is still my wife in the eyes of Jaffa
society. Although she had our marriage
removed years ago, she is remembered as my wife, not Fro’tak’s. Her health is not well these days, but
Doctor Frasier does what she can for her.
Because the Land of Light is not a member of the Aschen confederation,
the Aschen doctors have refused to treat her.
Thankfully Doctor Frasier goes to her, for the Aschen cannot prevent a
private citizen from checking up on an old friend. Drey’auc and I are on amicable terms for the sake of our son, and
I will always care for her.
Setting a now empty glass down on the bar, I am
trying to decide whether to tell my friends about this child. I am sure Doctor Frasier and Daniel Jackson
will be most forthcoming in their congratulations, but I most worry about
hurting Major Carter’s feelings. She
and her husband have been trying for quite some time to conceive, and it truly
hurts her. She was there when Kelsha
was born, and often watches her and my two sons when their mother desires time
alone. It seems each time I announced
the impending birth of one of my children, Major Carter becomes more anxious
she has not yet conceived. I do not
wish to hurt Major Carter’s feelings, but I would be remiss in not sharing this
wonderful news with my friends.
Since O’Neill has made his feelings quite clear
about the Aschen alliance by not attending the ceremony, I shall have to phone
him with news of the child. For him,
this will mean yet one more of my children for him to spoil, as if he has not
spoiled Kelsha enough. Perhaps as her
Godfather he is entitled.
I miss O’Neill’s company. He and I have fought side by side in many battles. We are like brothers. We disagreed as brothers when he argued that
we should not trust the Aschen. He
bears me no ill will for seeing the Aschen as I do, and I do not judge him for
viewing them the way he does. He has
his reasons for not trusting them as much as I have mine for tolerating
them. Perhaps this is why I am not as
vexed as Daniel Jackson concerning O’Neill’s refusal to attend the ceremony
this morning.
“Teal’c?” Daniel’s voice calls from behind. “Early as usual.”
Turning around, I can see that he, Doctor Frasier
and Major Carter are with him. Major
Carter looks most happy to see me, but I can sense sadness in her posture.
“Ready for dinner?” Doctor Frasier asks.
Rising up from my chair, I say, “I am indeed.”
“Teal’c, I’m glad you stayed,” Major Carter tells
me. Her eyes are very troubled. I cannot help but notice.
“As am I,” I say, my voice telling her I know all
is not well. “Something troubles you?”
A few moments of silence pass as she and Doctor
Frasier exchange unsettled glances.
“Nothing I can’t handle,” she says, smiling as she puts a hand on my shoulder. “And I’m starving so let’s eat.”
Things have most definitely changed. But what has remained the same is our
kinship for each other. We have faced
numerous enemies side-by-side.
Sometimes we have failed, other times we have prevailed. I do not know what the future will
bring. But I do know whatever it is, we
will face it, together.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
I should have known something strange was going to
happen this morning when the commissary was fresh out of froot loops.
I’ve been trying to put on my boxing gear, and it’s
taking me twice as long as it normally does.
Teal’c keeps giving me these strange looks like I’m holding him up,
which I am. My brain is still trying to
grasp how just a few hours ago the stargate opened up, and SG-1’s iris code was
transmitted while we were standingl in the control room. The whole scene
spooked the hell out of me, especially since I was expecting us to run into
ourselves. Instead, a crumpled piece of
paper came sailing through the event horizon, bouncing along the ‘gate ramp
until it rolled to a complete stop.
“O’Neill,” he announces, stretching his imposing
frame. “You are still troubled by
Doctor Frasier’s findings?”
“You could say that,” I tell him. “A note written in my handwriting, signed by
me that has mine and Sam’s blood on it.”
“It disturbed me as well.”
I start tying up my gloves; ignoring the impatient
look the SGC’s resident Jaffa is giving me.
“Teal’c, aren’t you the least bit…curious? You know, about what happened when we visited P4C-970?”
“Whether I am or not does not change the fact that
we will never visit that world.”
“True.
Remember the last time we had a note written in someone else’s
handwriting?”
“When we went backwards in time to your earth year
of nineteen sixty nine?”
I nodded. “Sam
wondered when I sent it. From the looks
of what was written in the note, it’s from the future. The question is, how far?”
Teal’c pushed the heavy bag with a finger and said,
“It seems we will never know.”
“I wonder if I still have all my hair? Or all my teeth,” I said with a
chuckle. Teal’c just raised an eyebrow
at me, giving me a no-so-subtle reminder that his patience was wearing thin.
“Don’t you wonder what would happen in the future? Like if we managed to finally beat the Goa’uld? If you still need Junior in you to live? If
you and what’s her name get together?”
I tossed that last one in there to get back at him
for rushing me. All of SG-1 knew about
the little earth woman who could make the big, bad alien absolutely
tongue-tied.
“I do not know of whom you speak, O’Neill,” Teal’c
muttered. He knew exactly whom I was
talking about. Playing dumb is not his
strong suit.
“Yes you do,” I chastised. “You know, the new research scientist you
keep looking at when you think no one is paying attention. The one with the nice -”
“We have delayed our boxing session long enough,”
he said sharply. “We shall begin now.”
“Sure,” I say, knowing that the topic is closed for
discussion. Besides, I’ve had my
fun…for now. When we’re done here, I’m
hoping we pass her in the hallway just so I can see Teal’c sweat a little.
A part of me wants to visit P4C-970, just to see
what the fuss is about. But looking at
the note written in my handwriting, and the blood smeared across it, I know
better than to second-guess myself. If
I said not to visit this planet, we’re sure as hell not going there. And Hammond ordered the address locked out
of the dialing program to assure we or anyone else doesn’t go there.
But I can’t help but wonder what happened on 970
and when. I guess I’ll just have to
wonder.
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