By:Foxy Finn c/o [email protected]
Title: ...For Auld Lang Syne
Author: Foxy Finn
([email protected])
Rating: PG
Archive: @ my site http://www.geocities.com/foxy_finn44/
Category: Sports, RPS, NHL, Guerin/Weight
Feedback: That or your first born.
Summary: A new year dawns for Bill Guerin.
Author's Note: My friend Emily loves Doug Weight. I have no clue why. Happy Holidays!
I don�t know if Doug felt the awkwardness. I wish he did, because right now I could hardly move around him. He showed up at my house on the 30th, and that was the last thing I expected.
"Billy." I jumped when he said my name. I looked up from the table to meet his eyes. He handed me a glass of champagne and smiled.
"Don�t look so happy to be out of the house." He sat on the small couch in the hotel room, sipping his own glass.
I shrugged. "I think Kara could�ve used more of a break. The new baby has us both a little busy."
"Life was better before we had kids." He patted the spot next to him on the couch. "Come sit with me."
I obliged. He set his glass on my leg, making me balance it. He likes those little games. We were both getting too old for this game, though. He snatched the glass off my leg, downed the last off the champagne, and set it aside. He smiled, resting his head on my shoulder.
"I missed you." He said.
I ran my hand up and down his leg, frowning. "No you didn�t. You never do."
He lifted his head. "Of course I do." He undid the top button of my shirt to kiss along my collar bone. "It�s been a while since I�ve seen you."
He kissed up my neck, his unshaven face scratching my skin. I used to like that feeling in the morning, waking up to the sensation of his bristly kisses. They just feel forced, now. The kisses moved across my skin, and up my face. His lips meet mine before he climbed up onto my lap.
He broke away, bringing his hand up to touch my face. "Did you miss me?"
"I don�t think it would make a difference if I did." I shrugged.
He raised an eyebrow before frowning. Moving off of me, he grabbed his glass and went to the ice bucket to pour himself more champagne. I fixed my shirt as I watched him. Doug always took me for granted, and thought that I didn�t know it. We were friends before Edmonton, but that�s where things changed. We�d fooled around when we played together in some junior tournaments, but that was never serious.
Doug sat down on the bed across from me, tactfully changing the subject. "How�s Modano doing?"
"Still pissed off at J.R, but who wouldn�t be." I finished off the last of my drink. I handed it to Doug, and he laughed as he went to pour me some more.
He chuckled. "Harsh talk from a guy who two handed a rookie on his own team."
"You�ve done worse." I shot back.
His smile didn�t falter, but his eyes firmed. "True." He paused to hand me my glass. "We should�ve invited Mo. You sleep with him yet?"
I would�ve been surprised by that question if it had come from any one else. I took it in stride. "He is hot. But we�ve been friends for too long."
"We were friends." He said, pursing his lips.
I was quiet, trying to figure out what to tell him. I was sure when Doug and I were first together I loved him. I thought that he loved me, too. I think that he was just content to have a friend who he could play hockey with during the day, and share a bed with him at night.
He cleared his throat. "What the hell is on your mind? You�ve been acting like more of a jerk than usual."
"Doug, what does our friendship mean to you?" I asked, tightening my grip on my glass. "Do we even have a friendship any more?"
He pushed himself off of the bed. "I flew here from St. Louis, and I�ve got an early plane to catch tomorrow to get to Detroit. I like being around you, and I miss being able to see you every day. Bill, what else was our friendship supposed to be?"
I shook my head. "Mo and I are friends and we don�t have to have sex to validate that friendship."
Doug sighed, motioning for me to stand. "Come here."
I did. He took my hand, kissing my palm, before resting it on his waist. He did the same with my other hand. Doug let his hands travel up to curl around my face. He tipped my chin, resting our foreheads together.
"You think we�re growing apart. We are." He shrugged. "There is nothing we can do to change that."
"Maybe you should let them change then." I replied, softly. "We�ve both got families now, and it�s never going to be like it was."
His hands came to loop around my neck. "Yeah, maybe."
Silence settled upon us. I was tired, but he wasn�t letting me go.
He glanced at his watch, then stepped out of my arms. "Stay right there."
I stood where I was, eyeing him. He moved to the stereo in the corner, and held his hand over the play button with a small smile on his face.
"I know it�s not New Years, but it�s still nice to pretend." He hit play on the stereo, and music began to play. I knew the song, and the gentle notes of Auld Lang Syne brought back some old memories I�ll always cherish. I looked at my own watch, noticing the time. It was close to midnight.
"Doug, this is a little stupid." I said.
He shrugged, slipping his hand into mine and resting his other on my hip. "We always try to be together on New Years."
I smirked. "I like that tradition."
"Well, lets say it�s New Years." He said softly. He shifted his arm and I could tell he was looking at his watch. "Thirty seconds."
Our eyes were locked as the seconds ticked by. We�d been through so much, but I don�t think that I can keep living teenage dreams. I�ve got Kara and my kids. I think that Doug and I will always be friends. There is, though, a part of our relationship that I�ve got to put to rest.
He still smiled at me despite my reflective gaze. He counted down from ten, brown eyes searching mine for some look of acknowledgment.
"Five, four, three, two, one�" He counted down, mostly to himself. He kissed me as his watched beeped on the hour. I closed my eyes, opening them when we parted.
I found my voice. "Doug, I don�t think I can see you anymore."
"Is that your resolution?" He asked.
I nodded. He rested his head on my shoulder and sighed.
He trailed his fingers along the edge of my shirt. "Do you think you can keep it?"
"I hope I can." I answered.
He shrugged, but didn�t move away from me. "Hey, if that�s what you want." He finally lifted his head to look at me. "You�re the one that fell in love."
I was in love, but that didn�t stop me from stepping out of his arms. He just stared at me as I picked up my coat and paused by the door.
"I�ll see you later, Doug." I said, then I stepped out the door. A part of me wanted him to chase after me, but I knew he wouldn�t. The new year may be a day away, but I think that it began the moment I closed that door.
~END