Title: Collapsed in Love Chapter 9: Don't Speak
Author: Foxy Finn ([email protected])
Rating: NC-17 for dirty sex
Archive: @ my site http://www.geocities.com/foxy_finn44/
Category: Sports, RPS, NHL, Edmonton Oilers, Comrie/York
Feedback: I'll cry. Seriously.
Summary: Comrie makes a decision he'll come to regret.
Author's Note: I own nothing. Especially not my Steve Yzerman touque, nosiree.

No Doubt
Don't Speak

~Brewer~

I knocked on the door to Mike's room, and Ryan answered. I knew he would be there. There was quiet discussion on the bus on the ride back to the hotel from the game about what was going to be happening. They weren't going to let them room together because not only did they need some time apart, and we also needed sleep.

Ryan sighed, stepping outside and closing the door behind him.

"So?" I asked, quietly. "How is he? Has he said anything to you?"

Ryan rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah, Eric, he just opened right up to me."

"Is his chin alright?" I asked.

Ryan shrugged, managing a quick nod. "It just needed three stitches, I heard, but he keeps touching it."

"Ryan, I could room with him." I offered. "He'd talk to me."

"I think that would just make things worse." Ryan frowned. "I know you love him, Eric. I've known that since the Olympics, but this is a different situation than from when he broke up with you."

I licked my bottom lip in thought. "How is it different?"

"It's different because they want to fix this; they just don't know how. At least, that's what I think." Ryan said, running a quick hand through his hair. "Can you tell me what's going on with them?"

I was silent for a few seconds, before finally replying. "It's complicated." I shook my head. "They've both done things that shouldn't have happened, so now they're looking for excuses to hurt each other."

Ryan sighed. He looked tired. We'd squeaked out of Vancouver with a point, managing not to lose in overtime. He had to switch rooms to deal with a hurting teammate. I was feeling guilty and needed to help. I could tell from the way he was standing that he was mulling over my offer.

"Will you staying with him help things, or hurt things? Honestly." He asked.

No matter what I said it would sound like a lie. I lifted my shoulders as a sign of defeat. "Honestly, Ryan, I don't know."

He rubbed his eyes. "You know�whatever."

I handed him my key and he took my room with Janne. I took the big chance of walking into Mike's room, knowing how pissed off he was going to be at me. After all, Mike knew I'd slept with him. How else could he know? He was looking at his reflection in a mirror across the room. He had his back to me when he spoke.

"Who was there?" He asked, cocking his chin at a funny angle.

"Me." I answered, calmly.

He turned, eyes already burning at the sound of my voice. "How dare you tell him, Eric! How dare you! You told me you wouldn't!"

"He asked me, Mike. He asked me, and I told him. I never said it to get back at you, if that's what you're thinking." I replied, taking a few cautious steps forward.

He folded his arms, sitting on the edge of the bed to frown. "He said it to hurt me, and I felt like I'd been slapped by both of you." He narrowed his eyes. "Him for taking a shot, and you for giving him the ammo."

"He shouldn't have said it, but I had to tell him." I stood a little closer. "Understand?"

He was quiet, still frowning to himself.

I sighed, moving to sit next to him. "Mike, I was honest with him, do you want me to be honest with you?"

Mike thought over my words. Turning to me, he narrowed his eyes. "Honest about what?"

"About�" I started, trying to decide if this was the right thing to do. He was already hurting and this�maybe this was too much. He saw me stalling and touched my arm. His eyes and his touch made me melt.

I took a deep breath. "About why you two started fighting�"

~York~

I'd left the room that I'd swapped with Ryan to talk to Eric. I'd been going over what had happened in the game, and I decided that I should ask Eric if he said anything to Mike about Paul. If he had told, or if he knew more than he was letting on to. I couldn't talk to Mike. Maybe tomorrow, but not tonight.

When I knocked on the door, and Ryan answered, I thought I'd gone to the wrong room. He must have thought that too, because we exchanged equal looks of confusion.

"Where's Eric?" I asked, deciding that I wasn't going crazy and this was Eric's room.

"Oh, he's staying with Mike." Ryan replied. "He convinced me that he would room there and let me get some sleep."

"Oh." I replied. "Is that all he said?"

Ryan shrugged. "Yeah, I think that's all. Mike wasn't saying anything to me, and he needed some one. We both thought that if it was you�well, you'd just be shouting at each other."

So Eric was staying with Mike. Why would Eric want that? Why else? What could Eric do that Ryan couldn't? Shit, Eric saw us arguing and had to stop us from fighting each other. He's told me many times that if I ever hurt him, he'd make me pay. I'd done the same, but I never thought that it would actually happen. I was starting to trust him, starting to like him even. Has he just been playing me? Trying to trick me into telling him the truth so he can use it against me? Maybe he has, and maybe�

Ryan was staring at me. "Mike, what's happening? What's going on? All of a sudden you two start arguing during a game. That's not like you guys."

"I�I�" I scratched my eyebrows, trying to put some words together that would make sense. "Ryan, we promised it wouldn't happen again because we're going to straighten it out."

"Is that all there is, or is that all you're going to tell me?" He asked.

I gave him a small smirk. "Good night, Ryan."

"Yeah, goodnight." He said as I turned away from the door. I walked back to my room, turning to look at Mike's door down the hall for a while. Maybe Eric was lying to me. Or maybe he wasn't. I don't know whom to trust.

"Hey, Yorkie."

I turned at the sound of a familiar voice. I stared blankly as he approached.

Paul had his hands pocketed when he walked down the hall towards me. He took them out of his coat and pulled me into a hug. I stood stiffly, not sure how to respond.

"I was at the game. I saw what happened." He whispered in my ear. "It's okay."

"No, it's not okay." I pushed his away. "Why did you come here, Paul? Why? To fuck us up even more?"

Paul blinked, looking hurt. "No. No, I didn't."

"Then why are you here?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I guess that I�I thought that�Does he know yet? Did you tell him?"

"No." I shook my head. "I couldn't. We talked, before the game, and I thought we were going to find some way to make everything okay when we got home. But when you came by, he started to act a little freaked out. I thought he knew something, when really he didn't."

"How do you know that?" He asked. "How do you know that he doesn't?"

There was Paul, ready to plant the seed of doubt. The only reason I said anything about Eric was because I was angry that Mike had snapped at me, and because I thought I could get him to spill whatever he knew about Paul. I thought that Eric had told him. But when he didn't say anything, I just assumed he didn't know.

"Are you still rooming with him?" Paul asked, touching me arm.

I shook my head, my voice low. "No. He's rooming with Eric."

He just stared at me, daring me to jump to conclusions. I jumped the moment my eyes fell upon his.

"S'okay." Paul stroked my hair, trailing his fingers down the back of my neck. "Want to stay with me tonight?"

His request was quiet and gentle, just like his touch.

"I can't." I answered. "I can't do that."

"He's doing it to you." He continued, daring me.

I shook my head. "Can we just go some where and talk?"

"Sure, sure." He nodded. "We can go to the roof if you want. I won't let you jump, don't worry."

I wouldn't jump; I'd push him for wreaking havoc in my life. I managed a short nod, then went inside to tell Todd I was going to the roof for some air.

Paul walked with me to the elevator, slipping his hand into mine. He shouldn't be here, and I shouldn't be going anywhere with him. Yet, here he was. And, here I went.

~Comrie~

I stared at Eric with no expression on my face. I finally forced the breath out of my mouth, making myself exhale. The air left my lungs in a sharp response to what Eric had just told me. "No, Eric. That's not true."

"No." He said, solemnly. "You were right. He did cheat on you."

"No." I shook my head. "You're lying. You're lying so I'll sleep with you again."

He exhaled, exasperated. "I'm not lying, Mike. Why do you think I gave him that look when Paul showed up? Why do you think that I made Paul get out of the arena?"

"But�" I started, still not believing him. "But why didn't he tell me? Why did he tell you before he told me? Why was he lying to me? I thought that he hated Paul�"

Eric was frowning at me and my ramblings. "Go ask him, Mike. Just ask him for yourself. Maybe if you two can be honest with each other we can fix this."

I firmed my gaze. "What if it's not true? What if he tells me that it never happened?"

"Then that would be lying, Mike. That would be what you're doing to yourself right now." He said with a glare.

I chewed on my bottom lip, actually contemplating it. "Not now. That would just make things worse."

"You're making it worse by not doing anything." He touched my leg, squeezing my knee. "He won't be angry with you. He'll get mad at me and you two can blame me together. Then we can all get back to what we pretend to be our normal lives." He sighed. "I'm not telling this to hurt you; I'm telling you this�"

"Because you love me." I finished his sentence with a small smile. I kissed him on the cheek before standing. "Eric, what if I say the wrong thing?"

He bit his bottom lip for a second. "Even the wrong thing can be better than nothing."

I slowly nodded. Still unsure of myself, I left my room for Mike's.

Todd told me he wasn't there. He said he'd gone up to the roof for some air. Not putting too much thought into it, I took the elevator up to the top floor. He needed some time to think by himself, I guessed. We were both given a quiet but firm message of 'never let this happen again' by our coaching staff and sent to opposite rooms.

Inside, I was planning on what I was going to say when I saw him. Just like on the ice, I planned where he might be when I stepped out of the elevator and how I would approach him.

The doors opened. I looked around as the coolness sucked the warmth off of me. I wrapped my hands around my upper arms, trying to keep the chills away. I quietly looked around, puzzled at where he was. The roof was darkened by long shadows, cast by small rises in the building standing out. Shadowy corners were everywhere.

I took a few steps around, deciding that if I walked the perimeter I would be able to see everything. I turned a corner, around the small walls that contained the elevator, and�

I saw it. The wind was knocked out of my chest and my heart stopped beating.

It wasn't as dark as I thought, or maybe my eyes were sharper than I thought.

I could see perfectly well what was happening. It was my brother, his pants around his ankles thrusting into Mike's bare ass. Mike, his chest pressed up against a wall, was kissing Paul over his shoulder. They tasted each other with a breathless hunger. They were moaning into each other's mouths, Paul's hips moving quicker and quicker. Mike's hands were fisted next to his chest, flexing with every thrust. Paul took his mouth away from Mike's with a grunt. Mike moaned, turning to rest his forehead on the wall.

I wanted to scream at them. They didn't see me, but I wanted them to.

When I opened my mouth, no sound came out.

Except Eric's voice.

Eric appeared at my side, and he spotted what I was starting at in an instant.

"Oh for fuck�" He started, but he didn't have to say much.

They both turned, seeing Eric then me.

I turned and left.

~End Chapter Nine

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