Title: Someday: Chapter Eleven: Wicked Game
Author: Foxy Finn ([email protected])
Rating: Pg13
Archive: @ my site http://www.geocities.com/foxy_finn44/ email me if you want it anywhere else....
Category: Sports, RPS, NHL, Comire/York, Comrie/Guerin
Feedback: *Puppy dog eyes*
Summary: Suppose Bill Guerin hadn't been traded for Anson Carter...
Author's Note: Disclaimer! Nope. Not mine. IT'S OVER. *wipes brow*

Bill answered the door with a grin. �I thought you�d be coming down.�

He let me inside. I looked at him with surprise and hurt. I followed him into the kitchen where he sat down and picked up his newspaper again. I stood by the table, watching his movements. He looked up and smiled at me. I couldn�t tell if it was a genuine smile or not. It�s gotten hard to tell the difference.

He put down his coffee cup. �Come and sit down.�

I didn�t move. �Why didn�t you tell me you were leaving?�

�You were too busy fucking York to care,� he looked down at his paper again. Bill was acting nonchalant. Was this even bothering him? I came back to him to bear my soul and he�s drinking his coffee and reading his paper like we�re talking about the weather.

�You�you still could�ve�� I paused, looking down as I bit my lip. I was quivering. I shouldn�t be.

�What did you say to him when you left?� he asked.

I shrugged. �I said I had to talk to you. He said he understood. It�s not like I�m going with you or anything.�

�Do you want to come with me?� his eyes tore into me. I dropped my head again. He always had power over me. Always have and always will.

�No,� I finally spat out. I was shaking as I tried to keep from crying.

�Don�t cry, Mikey,� he said softly. He stood and pulled a chair away from the table for me to sit on. I sat down and he knelt next to me, taking my hand. He kissed each knuckle, then looked up. His eyes used to make me melt. Now, I don�t know what to do.

�You shouldn�t feel so bad, Mikey, it�s not like we would�ve lasted much longer,� his grip on my hand got a little tighter. �It had to end some time.�

�Didn�t you feel anything for me?� I sobbed, a tear slipping down my face.

He thought for a second, then shrugged at me with raised eyebrows.

�Nope. You want to know why? Mike, you were the one that decided to make this about feelings. You were the one that thought that as long as you were with me, you were safe. You�re pathetic and na�ve.�

I couldn�t move. Why was he telling me this?

He laughed. �You remember that night you met York at the bar? I was there earlier and saw him. I knew that�s where you usually sit and pout when you wait for me, so I left. I left and let the sparks fly. Do you think I didn�t know about you and him?�

�Of course you knew,� I whispered. �You knew because you started to act different. I thought that things were going to get�better.�

�Better? Better how?� He smirked. �Did you think that you cheating on me would bother me? You think too much of yourself if you think that. Guess what, Mikey?� he leaned in close to whisper in my ear, �I got York traded here.�

He sat back and smiled as I shook my head.

�No.� I said.

�Yes!� He said with a laugh. �I convinced Kevin that he was just what the team needed. Kevin watched the gold medal game and was sold on him. Isn�t that great! Mikey, you got what you wanted!�

�But you�you told him you loved me.� My voice was breaking. He kissed my hand again. �I tell people a lot of things. Especially you.�

�No!� I shouted as I stood, pushing him away. He landed with a thud on the ground, but still looked up at me and grinned.

�I�I saw you crying that day. I saw how you were after I left you!� I raised my voice. �That wasn�t an act. I hurt you.�

�I hope you had fun trying to figure this out, Mike, because you sure seemed conflicted this whole year. Time sure does fly, doesn�t it?� he kept talking. Why wouldn�t he shut up!

I had to get out of there. I came here to tell him what he meant to me; instead I got my heart shattered. He followed closely, grabbing my arm and forcing me to turn and face him. He pressed his lips against mine in a bruising kiss. I pushed him and tried to get away.

�Hate to tell you, baby, but I never loved you,� he smirked.

�That�s a lie,� I shook my head. �You had to have. You�you told off Doug, you tried to win me back from Mike�you did all of those things��

He kissed me on the cheek. �As long as it got you in my bed, I�d say whatever you wanted me to.�

Bill wouldn�t let me go as I tried to break away. He just held me closer.

�Mike, I love you,� he said. �Always have. Is that what you want to hear?�

�Doesn�t matter if it�s a lie,� I mumbled. �Everything has been a lie.� He shrugged. �We both liked fucking. We can say that much wasn�t a lie.�

The tears started to flow, and he wouldn�t let me go. I started sobbing against him because he wouldn�t let me move. He held me close and made soothing sounds as he kissed my forehead. I couldn�t lose it. Not here. Not now. Let me go.

�Let me go,� I said, trying to find my strength again.

�Only if you let me go,� he said.

�I already have,� I answered.

�That�s a lie,� I heard the smile in his voice. He let me go and I stumbled back towards the door. Inside, I knew that this wouldn�t be the last time I saw him. But outside, I wanted this to be it. He had fucked with my mind and with my body. He never loved me. He was just screwing with me. That bastard. That asshole.

�I hate you,� I spat out. I didn�t hear his reply as I turned and left he house that I called my home for longer than I cared to remember. I never felt so rejected or full of pain in my life. I just stood there on the front step for a moment, staring at nothing. Nothing is what I felt. I knew the pain was there, but it was hidden underneath the emptiness.

I started shaking. The tears started streaming down my cheeks; I couldn�t control it. They were just flowing.

Sobbing, I stepped away from his door. I couldn�t drive. I couldn�t do anything. Breathing was hard and my whole body was shaking. How could he do this to me?

I finally climbed into my vehicle and drove.

We�re at Mike�s old place in New York. He�s asleep, and I should be sleeping too. I can�t.

This is the first of many sleepless nights, I can tell.

Mike is my world. When I told him what Bill told me, he didn�t believe me at first. Then he saw how I was shaking. He saw how I was crying. He believed and held me and let me cry. He was strong for me when I needed him, and I would be strong for him when he needed me.

Then it dawned on me. Would I be here today if Bill had gotten traded in November?

I don�t want to think about that. I can�t think about the what-ifs.

Inside, I hoped that he did care for me and was just too afraid to tell me. He hurt me to push me away, to keep me away from him. Someday I�ll hear the truth.

Right now, I�ve got today to deal with.

-End