Title: Someday: Chapter Eight: Lost Without You
Author: Foxy Finn ([email protected])
Rating: Pg13
Archive: @ my site http://www.geocities.com/foxy_finn44/ email me if you want it anywhere else....
Category: Sports, RPS, NHL, Comire/York, Comrie/Guerin
Feedback: *Puppy dog eyes*
Summary: Suppose Bill Guerin hadn't been traded for Anson Carter...
Author's Note: Disclaimer! Nope. Not mine. Not now, but soon... Using serious artistic license here, but it is an A/U, so anything can happen..Like Mike Signing with the Oilers and not taking the next flight to Anaheim...SIGH

I'll leave my room open till sunrise for you
I'll keep my eyes patiently focused on you
Where are you now I can hear footsteps I'm dreaming
And if you will, keep me from waking to believe this
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
- Blink 182, I'm Lost Without You

It was trade deadline day. We had a late afternoon practice, so I was going to sleep in and enjoy every minute of it. But Bill had other plans.

"Mikey�Mike�" He whispered.

I groaned, swatting at him. "Shh�" I opened one eye to catch a glimpse of the clock. 6 a.m. There was no way I was getting up for whatever he had planned.

"Come on, Mikey�" He started nipping at my ear, then down my neck. He was practically biting me. What�s his problem?

I hit him again, harder this time. "Practice isn�t until two," I mumbled, but it probably sounded nothing like what I intended.

He snorted, like he always does when he�s mad. "I�ll buy you breakfast."

"Give me a blow job and I�ll think about it," I replied, still not wanting to move. I taunt him when I can. He�s worn off on me a bit. I�ve never asked that of any one else that I�ve ever been with.

Sometimes I forget he�s much bigger and stronger than I am. Suddenly, he had me in a tight hold before he threw me onto the floor. I was suddenly very awake. My body went from the comfortable warmth of our bed, to being tossed onto our cold floor. My heart was pounding as I rolled onto my back.

"Oww..." I mumbled.

Bill stood over me. "Time to get up."

"Since when does some one your age have this much energy?" I asked, still laying on the floor.

"Since we�re going for breakfast," he said, stepping off the bed to pull me to my feet. I groaned, slumping against him.

"It�s too early�"

He forced me to my feet and led me to the shower. He pushed me into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. After smoothing my hair, I decided to follow orders. Not much I could do to argue with him today.

I�d just stepped under a very warm shower when I realized it was trade deadline day. I mean I knew, but I never really clued in. The two things, the day and Bill�s behaviour suddenly clicked. Did he know something I didn�t? All of the outcomes starting pouring through my mind like a dam had broken. It could all be over. I could be free.

I heard the bathroom door open again. I didn�t move. He slipped in next to me like he�s done dozens of times. Bill joined me in the shower, holding me tightly. He rested his head on my back, pressing his lips against my skin. He felt cold, despite the heat of the water.

I turned to face him. �Are you being traded?�

He cocked his head, and gave me a small smile. �Don�t worry about that Mikey.�

He smoothed my hair as the water sprayed around us. His face softened in the steam; a curl of hair fell onto his forehead. I reached up to tuck it back. He brought up his hand to cover mine. Delicate pink lips invited me for a kiss. Our mouths met in the sweetest kiss of our relationship.

It didn�t go any further. We just held each other.

Maybe I was wrong about everything. Maybe this is where I want to be. Why can�t I make up my mind? I�m comfortable here, and Bill seems to want to keep me around.

We were almost late for practice. It�s trouble when you�re almost late for an afternoon practice. We went in the same car for one of the first times. He held my hand when we walked to the arena. No one could see it; we were walking very close together. But he still did. Something must be up and it hurts more than I thought it would.

Practice went smoothly, but there was still an underlying apprehension. No one was really focused on the ice.

We were nearly done when I spotted Rem and Tom. They weren�t on the ice. They hadn�t been the entire time. They were standing by the bench in street clothes, looking lost.

�Eric?� I asked, catching up to Brewer.

�Hmm?� He asked, turning his head and slowing his stride.

�What�s up with Rem and Tom?� I asked, gesturing with my head.

�Oh,� Eric paused. �They were traded to New York.�

I stared at Eric, not trusting myself to breathe. �For who?�

�Oh, um,� Eric thought. �York. Mike York.�

Numb.

My legs were going to give out on me. I couldn�t breathe. I slowed down, dropping away from Eric. I couldn�t skate anymore. I glided to a stop, staring down at the blade of my stick. Everything was slow. I was being torn in two because I couldn�t make up my mind.

I was numb.

Some one started hooking me, and I was forced to look up. Bill tilted his head in question at me.

�What are we doing after practice?� He asked. He asked ME. Is he dying?

�I um�I don�t know,� I mumbled.

He blinked at me, then skated away.

Everything seemed surreal to me. It was surreal.

Mike was traded here. I couldn�t handle it.

�All that worry for nothing,� he smirked.

I nodded. �What about the other guys?�

He shrugged. �The other guys aren�t me. What are we going to do with the rest of our day, Mikey? It started off pretty good.�

�I don�t know,� I replied, turning to rest my head on the glass. It was cool against my skin. The heat in my body had been growing with every minute I was alone. Was I mad? I just feel numb and nothing else.

Bill�s hand brushed my face. He asked me with his eyes if I was okay. If he suddenly loves me so much he would have seen the confliction in mine, but instead he just smiled and put the car into drive. We were moving, but I was still numbly standing still.

-End Chapter Eight