Title: Someday: Chapter Seven: Wonderwall
Author: Foxy Finn ([email protected])
Rating: Pg13
Archive: @ my site http://www.geocities.com/foxy_finn44/ email me if you want it anywhere else....
Category: Sports, RPS, NHL, Comire/York, Comrie/Guerin
Feedback: *Puppy dog eyes*
Summary: Suppose Bill Guerin hadn't been traded for Anson Carter...
Author's Note: Disclaimer! Nope. Not mine. All I've got are some crummy ideas and a lot of stress. Sorry this took so long. Stupid School. Stupid Work. Stupid having to make money and live.

And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
But I don't know how I don't know how
Because maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall
- Oasis, Wonderwall

I came home from the all-star game with a refreshed attitude. I was going to break up with Bill after the Olympics. Mike and I had come to this conclusion one night. Bill can be very violent at times, and while he's never really hurt me, I know it's there. The last Olympics, he busted up a hotel room. I'd rather not give him any reason to bust up Mike's face.

The house was empty and dark when I came inside. I looked around, a little puzzled, and then went upstairs to put my stuff away.

I put my laundry in the basket, next to Bill's. I put my clothes and gear away, next to Bill's. My car was in the driveway, and when Bill got home they'd be parked side-by-side. Those were all little things that, for some reason, stood out to me. Maybe because this has been a mistake from the start.

I remember waking up when Bill came home. I didn't really wake up. I remember hearing the door close downstairs, and escaping my dream world. Bill talks to himself when he thinks he's alone. I heard him say something as he came up the stairs. Was he really happy I was back? If he were, he would've been waiting for me here. He changed his clothes, then crawled into bed next to me. He smelt like the bar. He pulled me into his arms and kissed the back of my neck. His warm breath made the hairs on my neck stand up. He hadn't shaved all weekend, so the stubble scratched me.

"You have a good time?" He asked as I shivered against his touch.

I nodded, sleepily. "Something I'll never forget."

His hand glided over my hip, to the front of my shorts. He started stroking me through the material, before inching his hand towards the waistband. His touch was exciting, his hands so strong and skilled. I bit my lip to fight off a moan. I was extra sensitive today from my weekend with Mike. Ignoring my body's impulse to let him get me off, I told him to stop.

"Bill, I'm tired." I mumbled.

His hand stayed where it was, warming the skin of my lower abdomen. He frowned, brushing his lips over my ear.

"No you're not," he said, calmly. "Why do you want me to stop, Mikey?"

My heartbeat quickened. I could tell him now and get it over with. I let it play out in my mind in the quiet seconds. He'd get out of bed to turn on the lights. He'd scream at me, his eyes glowing to a golden angry shade. Would he hit me? He might. He'd feel betrayed enough. He'd kick me out and then�

"Mike?" He asked again. "I've missed you."

He admitted it. He admitted weakness. I looked at him over my shoulder and lightly pressed my lips against his. Why can't I tell him no? He doesn't know that the only time I thought about him this weekend was when I was scheming up ways to leave him.

He deepened the kiss, turning me in his arms.

I parted first and gave him a small smile.

"You sure you're just tired?" He asked, with more concern than I've seen in a while from him.

"Yeah." I said with a small yawn.

He smiled. "Okay."

Then he let it be. I settled against his chest and fell asleep. I woke up before he did the next morning. I watched him sleep. Is he really as unaware as he seems? I smooth his eyebrow with my thumb, gently touching his face. Could I really be happy with him?

On my last day in LA, Mike asked what my first time with Bill was like. I couldn't lie to Mike; the truth was it was phenomenal. Bill and Doug took me out to dinner one night. Doug was my mentor, and Bill was his best friend. I wasn't going to question it. Halfway through, though, Doug left. He didn't really explain anything to me, but he looked at Bill and said he had to go. They planned it that way. I never really saw it like that for a while, but they had Bill's seduction of myself on their brains for a long time, probably since I signed with the team. Bill and I were alone. I was actually frightened when I reached under the table to put his hand on my knee. I met his eyes, and he smiled at me.

'Doug thinks you're play is really improving.' He said. I smiled. It was all I could do.

He'd woken up, suddenly, and when I looked back at him his eyes were open. He gave me a funny grin when my eyes widened in shock. "Watching me while I sleep?" He asked.

I smiled, a little. "You look different when you're asleep."

He stretched his arms behind his head and laughed. "I've been told I lose my edge when I sleep."

I nodded. "That's fair."

I rested against his chest. He brought his hand down to play with my hair. These are simple, little moments that I can have with anyone. Why do I care if it's him or not? Why is it that my thoughts can turn overnight. He's not right for me; I know that.

"Bill, remember our first time together?" I asked. I don't know why I asked it.

He was still running his fingers through my hair. He didn't stop as he spoke. I felt him sit up a little, and likely frown. I didn't look up either way.

"Of course," he replied.

"Why did you go after me?" I asked.

He was definitely frowning when he spoke next. "Why not? There's nothing wrong with you, haven't you figured that out yet?"

I lifted my head. "Why are we still together?"

His eyes softened. He tilted his head as he thought before meeting my sight again. There was tightness in my chest that I couldn't ignore when I looked at him. Why did I keep talking? Then again, why did I let him kiss me our first night together? Why did I let him have me like I did? Why do I do a lot of things?

"We're still together because�" he paused.

I held my breath. Not now, Bill, please not now. If he says he loves me, I don't know what to do. My heart was pounding. I couldn't let him say it. It was going to be over in a few weeks. It will be his fault. He has to feel the guilt. He was to feel like he never appreciated me. I kissed him, hoping to take the words out of his mouth. He teased his tongue passed my teeth, bringing me closer. He finally drew back, and I rested my head against his chest again.

"We're still together because I want us to be," he finally said, returning to run his hand through my hair like some pet.

My eyes opened and I stared at the wall across from our bed. My grip on the bed sheets tightened as I tried not to scream.

(Later)

"Hello?" I answered the phone at Bill's place. I don't care; it was my place too. I think people have gotten used to hearing my voice on the phone.

"Hey," It was Mike. I had given him Bill's number incase something ever happened.

They were both at the Olympics right now, him and Bill. I worried about Mike every day, missing him more and more. But it was still Bill that I kissed goodbye. I kissed Bill goodbye for the last time, though, and it felt good.

"Hi," I smiled at his voice. "Is something wrong?"

He laughed. "You always ask that."

"I know. I'm just paranoid," I smiled. "All ready for the big game?"

He laughed again. "Your country is going down. You can wear my gold medal when we win it."

I sat down on the couch. "Silver or gold, I'd love to wear whatever you win."

I heard him shift. He was sitting down too, probably on a break or something. At least he's thinking about me. I haven't heard much from either of them, which could be good or bad.

He cleared his throat. "I went out with a few of my teammates last night."

My brain clicked into panic mode. "What happened?"

"Bill got pretty drunk," he replied with a hint of a smile. "He likes to talk when he drinks, you know that?"

I slowly nodded. "What�what did he tell you?"

He sighed. "I forget what we were talking about, but it eventually turned into a talk about relationships. I told him about how I was falling for some one, but our relationship was long-distance. That was all I said, because he started talking."

"You're falling for me?" I asked, with a grin.

"Shut up, I'm trying to tell you something." He laughed.

"Sorry." I said, still smiling.

Mike took a deep breath. "Bill started going on how he's been seeing some one for a long time, and how he thought they had everything together. But he's noticed a change in his some one, and he feels different when they're together."

"He's more perceptive than he seems." I interjected.

Mike was quiet. "Then I asked if he loved that person," he paused. "He said he did and doesn't know what he'd do without you."

My heart stopped beating for a moment. "Oh god."

Mike was quiet on the other end. "I don't know what we should do."

"Why do you care about his feelings?" I asked, getting up to pace the living room.

Mike's voice was quiet. "Because�I'm just that sort of person. I didn't care about him until I found out that he's not just this jerk who treats you like trash. He's a real person, just like you and me. I don't want to be the one that ends something that�"

"You won't be ending something if he doesn't say those words to me," I interrupted. "There has to be something to end it."

"There is a something, whether you admit it or not. Words or not, the feelings are there. I know you still have feelings for him, and if he does too than you're still bound to those feelings," he answered.

We'd never argued before. I don't like arguing, but I love him. I don't want to lose him because Bill suddenly decides to tell a stranger his feelings for me.

"I love you." I said. It was all I could say.

"I love you too," but he paused, "and so does Bill."

I swallowed. "I'll wait until after the Olympics to break up with him. I'll give him some time, and if nothing happens I'm going to be with you over the summer."

"That sounds fair," Mike said. "Okay, I'd better go."

"Have a good time." I said.

"Talk to you later."

"Bye."

Then he hung up. I rested my head in my hands and took a deep breath. Just when I think I've figured things out, something like this happens.

-End Chapter Seven