Title: Someday: Chapter Five: You Don't Know
Author: Foxy Finn ([email protected])
Rating: NC17-ish
Archive: @ my site http://www.geocities.com/foxy_finn44/ email me if you want it anywhere else....
Category: Sports, RPS, NHL, Comire/York, Comrie/Guerin
Feedback: *Puppy dog eyes*
Summary: Suppose Bill Guerin hadn't been traded for Anson Carter...
Author's Note: Disclaimer! Nope. Not mine. All I've got are some crummy ideas and a lot of stress.

I was waiting for Bill again. Except, I wasn't some where waiting for him, I was waiting for some when. It's been a week since I left Mike's hotel room. Over that week, I've noticed changes in Bill that would've been welcome at any other time. Anyone normal wouldn't be reading too much into this, but I know this isn't normal.

Bill has been doing little things. He's been trying to acknowledge me. He cooks dinner, and we talk over the meal. He takes me out. We even went shopping, and that's like pulling teeth for both of us. I should've enjoyed those outings, but I just kept waiting for him to spring something on me. At the perfect moment, he'll tell me he knew, and then leave me standing in a public place on the emotional edge. The suspicion is driving me crazy.

He left for the driving range early this morning. When I woke up, there was a rose on his side of the bed. I want it to be romantic, but instead it's more like a slap in the face. He knows, and he's just going to drag this out until I admit it.

Doug called the other day, very angry that we missed the lunch date. He accused me of ordering Bill not to. I told him it was Bill's choice. Doug didn't believe me. I didn't know how to explain anything to him, so I just hung up.

I've been sitting in bed staring at the rose for an hour now. I was only wearing my boxers, with no real intentions of moving to get dressed. My mind wasn't focused. I turned the stem of the long, red rose over as I spun the blossom. My mind was anywhere but on the flower. I had to talk to him.

I rolled out of bed, crossing the room to my dresser. Underneath some neatly folded shirts, was a piece of paper with Mike's phone number. I took it to the bed, studying his handwriting. It still makes me smile. This is his number in New York. I didn't want this to show up on Bill's phone bill. That would just give him even more material. I grabbed my cell phone from its charger, and dialed the number. I should think about this, but if I do, then I won't go through with it. The phone rang once and I held my breath. I should've waited. The phone rang twice. I don't want to leave a message. I was about to hang up after the third ring when an increasingly familiar voice picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hi." I said.

"Hi." He sounded relieved to hear my voice. Too bad he was hours away. "How've you been?"

"Okay. How was your flight?" I asked, trying to sound pensive as I spoke. The thoughts rolling around in my head were easily impeding my regular thought process.

"It was fine, but that's not why you're calling." I could hear the smile in his voice when he spoke. I didn't want that smile to fade from my memory, so I snapped my eyes shut and imagined him standing next to me as we talked.

"I missed you." I said. My voice sounded small.

There was a quiet moment. I was afraid he'd hung up until he spoke. "I've missed you too."

I closed my eyes, settling back against the pillows. "I'm sorry I didn't call sooner."

"You don't have to apologize," he said. "You've got things to deal with."

I turned the rose stem over with my fingers, watching it lazily spin. "I haven't dealt with it yet."

"Hmm, is that why you're calling?" He asked.

I smiled at the way he spoke. "It was either you or the marriage councilor."

He laughed. "You'd still get the same answer."

I sighed. "Bill's been acting different."

"I didn't think he could be any worse." Mike's voice filled with concern.

"No, not worse. Better." I said.

"Better?" He asked.

"Yeah, he's just�he listens now. He waits for me. It's nice but I just keep waiting for him to go back to the way he was, or until I burst and tell him about us." I replied.

Mike was quiet. "Or maybe he just realized how much you mean to him."

"What?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

He sighed. "You took off one night, not telling him where you're going or when you'll be back. People can't change over night, but they can make a conscious decision to try to. Maybe he's just trying to keep you because he knows you could leave."

"So you don't think he's tricking me?" I asked.

"If he cares about you, he's not tricking you."

I closed my eyes. "But what if I don't want things to change?"

"Even if they're for the better?"

My voice was small and quiet. "I want you."

"Mike, if I could be there, I would." Those words sounded so true and wonderful.

"What can we do? I want to see you again." I found myself staring at the rose again.

He sighed. "We shouldn't worry about that until we're in the same country again. Just stay safe where you are."

"You too." I said with a small sigh of my own. "I should let you go."

"Call me if anything happens, or if you just want to talk."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye."

And then I hit end on my phone. So much out of a few minutes. I set my phone aside, and crawled back under the covers. I closed my eyes, drifting to sleep. I let my dreams take me where I couldn't. I was leaving here. Watching Bill's face as I walked passed him. But would I? Could I? A lot can change over time. If there's ever a chance, will Mike still feel the same way when we're together again? Questions gradually faded to the back of my mine and I dozed off.

I'd been snoozing for about an hour when I heard the downstairs door open. I didn't move from the bed as I listened to Bill come up the stairs. I heard him undress and toss his clothes aside.

Soon his body was spooned against mine and I heard him sigh, happily. His bare chest warmed my back and his arms pulled my body closer.

"You should've come out to the range. It would've done you good." He spoke low into my ear. "It was completely empty."

"Would you have done me at the club house?" I asked with a whisper.

"I would fuck you on the green. But I think they'd revoke my membership." He started kissing down the back of my neck.

I smiled, turning my head to look at him. He met my eyes as I turned in his arms. He pressed his lips to mine as my hand brushed along his chin. The kiss deepened, and when we parted, he had the rose in his hand. He brushed it over my nose.

The glint in his eyes and the smile that crossed his lips were foreign to me. He'd never looked at me like this before. I felt something when our eyes met.

"I love your nose." Then he kissed the tip of my nose.

My heart quickened, but I didn't say anything. I just smiled.

He kissed each of my eyelids. "I love your eyes."

I sighed, suddenly enjoying this game. His lips brushed my ear, then my jaw, then my chin. He trailed light kisses down my neck and chest, giving me small words of adoration with each peck. I was so unsure of whether he meant any of it. Did I want to believe it? A quick gasp brought me back to his mouth.

"I love your nipples." Bill grinned. I grinned too, suddenly letting the anticipation build tiny knots in my stomach.

His hand only brushed my boxers as he moved down my legs, avoiding what he knew I wanted. He moved down my legs, brushing his cheek along the sensitive spot on the inside of my ankle.

The hairs on my arms were standing up when he took my hand. He kissed the back of my hand, before turning it to kiss up my arm. He propped his chin on my shoulder and grinned at me.

"Did I miss some where?" He asked.

I opened my eyes, tilting my head with lowered lashes. He grinned, his eyes sparkling. I've never seen that before in him. He always managed to mask whatever true feelings he had when we fucked. I saw pleasure in his eyes, of course, but never any sort of affection. I felt affection in his eyes today.

Both his hands started to travel down my sides as he kissed his way down my chest. His tongue dipped into my navel as he lifted the elastic of my boxers. He was so slow. He likes to tease me.

He's only gone down on me a few times before this. This was out of character for him, but this whole week has been weird. Even when his hot mouth was sucking me off I couldn't believe he was doing it. I wanted to last longer than my body was willing to. I wanted to remember how good this was. Bill was good, but I still don't think this was genuine. When I was with Mike, he'd look up and meet my eyes.

Remembering the tempting look Mike gave me made me come. Just the image glancing across my memory made me lose it. Bill, to his credit, swallowed. I was too busy slumped back against the blankets to really notice.

When he'd shifted back to lie next to me, I looked at him with softness in my eyes. I had to say it, if not to test him than just to let him know. Even if I did leave him, he had to know.

"I love you." I said. I wanted to hear it back more than I wanted him to know, actually.

It hurt how he just smiled and kissed me. He pulled me into his arms, where I used to feel safe, and ran his hand through my hair. I did snuggle against him, but I wanted to stiffen and pull away.

I let myself drift, hovering between awake and sleep when the phone rang. Bill groaned, shifting me out of his arms gently to grab it. He thought I was asleep.

"Hello?" He answered. "Hey, Mo, how've you been?"

Modano. Wonderful.

"We've been all right." Bill paused. "Yeah, I'm still with him."

Bill sat on the bed, brushing my eyebrow gently. Possessively.

"Why not? He's hot, seems to put up with me, plus he plays center. You know I've got a thing for centers." I heard the grin in Bill's voice without having to see it.

Bill sighed. "Yeah, we've been doing a bit of conditioning. Mostly in bed, but it's still exercise."

Bill paused again. Modano was giving him shit, probably for still being with me. "It's going to be a long season, Mo. With the Olympics and everything it's going to make for a long ride."

Then he laughed. "That's what I'm hoping. We'll just see. Okay? Seeya then."

Bill hung up, setting the phone back down. He moved back into the bed, bringing me back into his arms. I sighed, relaxing back against him.

I don't want to stay here for much longer.

-End Chapter Five