| Chapter 55 It had been a long eight months. As soon as Nick and Diane got back from their honeymoon, the guys got to work on putting the band back together. They hired new management, and started rehearsals for the tour that was suppose to have happened two years ago. It was hard on all of them, but especially Brian and Nick. All the dancing was hard on Brian, but he made it through. Nick had an awful time getting the words to the songs out, but the guys came up with a way to cover for him. In each song they had someone that was Nick's backup in case he stumbled, which he did. When they finally got that worked out, they took the rehearsals to the stage they had set up in a warehouse. Then they found a whole new set of problems to work out. It took them about three times through to realize the strobing lights and the pyro was what was triggering Nick's seizures. So in the span of four days they totally reworked the show. They changed everything, including some of the dance moves to blend with the new lighting techniques. Everyone liked the new show better, even management. It was more intimate, just the boys and the audience for the most part. They had always said they were a vocal group, that they didn't need all the fancy lights and pyro to have a good show. Now they were proving it. Nick continued to see Dr. McKenna, and even worked out a schedule where he could call and talk to him while they were on tour. It seemed they both enjoyed their weekly talks, and it did them both good. Nick had sought the doctors advice on how to come out to the media about what happened to him. He knew he couldn't keep it a secret forever, and that maybe by telling his story, he might be able to help someone else. They had explored many ways of getting the word out, finally deciding on what Nick wanted to do in the first place. Dr. McKenna was concerned about Nick's decision, because it meant that Nick would be telling his story over and over. He much preferred an interview type setting where Nick could just tell his story once and be done with it. But in the end, Nick had won out, knowing that by doing it this way he could reach more people, and it would be more personal than the fans just watching it on TV. It was one thing to convince Dr. McKenna, it was a whole other thing to convince management and the tour sponsors. But after several long meetings they agreed. So here they were, opening night of a six month tour across the US and Canada, then two months off before they hit Europe. Everyone was a bundle of nerves, wondering how things would go after them being out of the spotlight for so long. If their ticket sales were any indication, this tour would be their most successful yet, even surpassing the Millennium tour. A.J. was his normal, hyper bouncing off the walls self. He was annoying everyone, as he revved himself up for the show. Kevin was going around making sure everyone was doing what they were suppose to. Howie paced around the dressing room, muttering in Spanish a lot. Diane had to laugh at him, which made him smile at her before he went back to muttering. Brian was sitting with Leighanne and Baylee. He and Baylee were playing with some toy trucks, as Leighanne talked to him. And Nick was sitting on the couch with Misha in his lap. He seemed the most relaxed of all of them, leaning back with his eyes closed, petting Misha. But Diane knew he was nervous, even if he wasn't showing it. He wasn't so much nervous about the show, but about what he was going to say during his time with the crowd. He was afraid of what they would think, how they would react to him after he told them his secret. "Baby," she said, putting her hand on his arm. Nick opened his eyes and smiled at her. "It'll be alright. Just tell them what's in your heart, and everything will be fine," she said. He nodded, to nervous to try and speak. "Guys, five minutes," someone yelled. Everyone got up to go take their places. Nick handed Misha over to Diane. "Have fun," she said. He smiled at her and kissed her cheek before joining the others. Leighanne walked over, "We should go to our seats." Diane followed her out and down into the pit. Several fans in the front row yelled at them, and they waved before sitting down. "God I'm scared for them," Diane said, waiting for the show to start. Leighanne smiled, "Me too, but you know they'll blow everyone away. They always do." Just then the house lights went down and the music started. "Here we go," Diane yelled over the screaming of the crowd. A moment later the guys appeared out of nowhere, and the crowd went nuts. The band extended the intro, waiting for the screams to die down so the boys could hear the music. Diane watched as each boy signaled to the band when he could hear them, then the music changed and they went into their first song. The crowd was loving it, singing along with them. Nick stumbled a few times, but as far as Diane could tell, no one noticed. Brian goofed up his dance moves, laughing when he finally just stopped and shrugged at the audience, then a second later got back in step with the guys and finished the song. Before she knew it, the concert was half over. Each of the guys were taking turns talking to the crowd. Nick chose to go last because his talk was going to take longer than the rest. Diane could see him standing backstage. He was nervous, no doubt about it. He fidgeted with his sleeves and bit his lip, waiting for Brian to finish and introduce him. "And now my best friend would like to say a few words," Brian said, as Nick walked out. The screams were deafening as Brian hugged him and said something to him that made Nick laugh, before leaving the stage. Nick took a deep breath and sat down on the stool in the middle of the stage and grabbed the mic in front of him, "Hi there." Again the place erupted with cheers and screams. Diane had to hold her hands over her ears as she looked up at her husband. He stared at her as he waited for the crowd to settle down. Diane mouthed the words I love you to him, which made him smile more confidently. Finally Nick put his hands up, trying to quiet the crowd. After a moment the audience grew quiet and Nick closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before he looked at them again. "First, I want to t-thank you guys for all the support you've shown me and rest of the fellas these past couple of years. It's been hard to get back to this point, but I'm glad we finally made it. I-I have something that I want to talk to you about. Something that you guys don't know, and I feel it's time to tell you," he said, looking down at Diane. She nodded to him, and he nodded back. "I um ..... God this is hard," he said, biting his lip, trying to keep it from trembling. "Come on baby, you can do this," Diane said under her breath. Nick fidgeted on the stool for a moment, then sighed, "I've been keeping a secret for almost half my life now. Only a few people knew about it, and I just recently told my family. See, when we were first starting out and we were in Europe, I .... I was being abused by one of the tour managers. I never told anyone about it because I was afraid that if I did, the guys would get hurt and our careers would be ruined. So I kept quiet for a long time and just endured it. Pretty soon though, it got to be to much. I couldn't handle it anymore, and I-I started trying to find some way out. The only problem was that I didn't choose the right way. I should've told my dad, or the guys and gotten help, but I didn't. Eventually someone found out and got me away from that person, but I still refused to get help. I guess in my mind, I thought that it was over and I could just move on. But it didn't work that way. For a few years I was able to push it to the back of my mind and just pretend it didn't happen. But then the accident happened, and again I was pushed into the same situation. See, you guys only heard that my speech therapist was trying to kidnap me. That's not the whole story. For months he was ........ he was abusing me, just like before. He threatened to hurt Diane and Aaron if I told anyone what was happening, and I was just to weak to fight him off. So I stayed quiet, hoping that he would go away. As time passed, the memories of what happened to me when I was younger started coming back, and before I knew it, I was completely lost. I couldn't see a way out. There was no proof of anything, and I knew if I accused him it would just be my word against his. He would get off and then Diane and Aaron would be in danger. Again I made the wrong choice. I should've told someone, but instead I let it get to the point that I ended up hurting myself. I didn't even realize I was doing it, and the next thing I remembered was waking up in the psych ward of a hospital. The stand off at my house was the result of me trying to solve my own problems. If I had just told someone and asked for some help, things never would've gone that far. Maybe John would've gotten the help he needed, instead of being killed, and maybe I wouldn't have these scars to look at for the rest of my life," he said, looking down at his wrist for a moment. "I'm not telling you this to make you feel sorry for me. I'm telling you this to let you know that you aren't alone. Other people know what it feels like to be scared and afraid, and lost inside. It's taken me a long time to get to this point in my life where I can talk about this. I've had a lot of help, and frankly without it, I probably wouldn't be here. So, I want to offer you guys a way out .... the right way. Up on the screens is a number for the national rape and abuse hotline. There are counselors on the other end that can get you the help you need. They can set you up with counselors in your area, and also help you notify the proper authorities so you can get away from the person hurting you. Also, if you know someone that is being abused, they can help you too. I've learned that not only the victim needs help, but also the ones that care about them. So please, if you're in this situation, or know someone that is, take down the number and get help. Don't think you can do it on your own, don't make the wrong choices like I did. Take my mistakes and learn from them. Thanks for listening to me, we'll get back to the show in a few minutes," he said, standing up. He looked out into the audience, seeing almost everyone in tears. He could also see a few people writing down the number, and that made him smile. What he went through wouldn't be in vain, some people were actually gonna get help because of it. He turned to walk off stage when the crowd started applauding. Slowly it built to a deafening thunder, and Nick couldn't hold it in anymore. The tears he'd been holding back came bursting forth, and he just stood there, letting them fall. Through his tears he could see the audience stand up, still applauding. Diane brushed her tears away and climbed over the barricade and up onto the stage. Nick walked towards her and pulled her into his arms, leaning down and crying on her shoulder. "Baby, you did it," she told him. He nodded against her shoulder. The guys came out on stage, tears in their own eyes, and hugged him. None of them knew what kind of reaction Nick would receive, but this was far past any of their expectations. The crowd was still applauding as they made it off stage. The guys took several minutes to compose themselves before going back out and finishing the show. They waited for what seemed like an eternity before they attempted to leave. But still there were fans waiting on them. So they all stopped to sign autographs and take pictures. Nick started to get into the van, when he heard someone calling his name. He turned around to see a young girl, running up him. One of the bodyguards stopped her, as Nick walked over to her. "I just wanted to thank you for what you did. That took a lot of courage," she said. He smiled at her, "Thanks." "Would you sign this?" she asked, holding out a picture and pen. "Sure," Nick said, taking it from her and noticing the scars on her wrists. He looked at her for a moment, "Are you OK?" She nodded, "I will be, thanks to you." Nick signed her picture then pulled her into a hug, "Don't give up, there's a better life out there just waiting on you." She smiled back at him, "I know. I see how happy you are now, and ... and it gives me hope that I can be happy too." "You will," he said, "I just know it." She nodded and turned, walking back the way she came. Nick watched her leave, then turned and got in the van. Diane took his hand in hers, "You OK baby?" He nodded, "She had scars like mine. Said she was gonna be OK because of me." Diane pulled him to her, "See, you're making a difference. You're taking something bad and turning it into something positive." Nick cupped her cheek and gently kissed her, "Thank you." "For what?" she asked. "For giving me the courage to do this. For loving me and always being by my side. I couldn't do any of this without you," he said. She smiled at him, "You'll never have to. I'm always gonna be here, and together we'll make it through whatever life throws at us." Nick laughed, "You and me against the world huh?" "Yup, and you know what? We're gonna win," she said. Nick pulled her into a searing kiss as the driver turned the radio up....... The world is changing, and time is spinning fast It's so amazing how you came into my life I know it seems all hope is gone I know you feel you can't be strong And once again the story ends with you and I. And anytime you feel like you just can't go on Just hold on to my love, and you'll never be alone Hold on, we can make it through the fire And my love, I'm forever by your side And you know, if you should ever call my name I'll be right there, and you'll never be alone. Hopeless to describe the way I feel for you No matter how I try, words could never do I looked into your eyes to find, as long as love is alive There ain't nothing we can't make it through Anytime, or if only for a while, don't worry Make a wish, I'll be there to see you smile Hold on, we can make it through the fire And my love, I'm forever by your side And you know, if you should ever call my name I'll be right there, and you'll never be alone. Through the fire, by your side I will be there for you, so don't you worry And you know I'll be there You'll never be alone Hold on, we can make it through the fire And my love, I'm forever by your side And you know, if you should ever call my name I'll be right there, Oh baby, hold on Hold on, we can make it through the fire, we can make it baby, And my love, I'm forever by your side And you know, if you should ever call my name I'll be right there, Hold on, we can make it through the fire And my love, I'm forever by your side And you know, if you should ever call my name I'll be right there. THE END *Song used: You'll Never Be Alone, Anastacia, Freak of Nature, 2002. *Authors Note: If you or someone you know is the victim of rape or abuse please call the National Rape Hotline @ 1-800-656-HOPE. Make the right decision and get help. Back Back to My Stories |