| Chapter 51 Dr. McKenna looked at Nick. He had a solemn look on his face. "What's wrong?" he asked. Nick looked up at him, "I had a dream last night. A horrible one." "Ohh, care to tell me about it?" he asked. Nick sighed and ran his hand through his hair, "Um well it was our wedding. I was standing at the alter and Di was walking down the isle. She looked so .... beautiful. Then all of a sudden Tim was there. He ... he killed Diane right in front of me and then....." Nick trailed off and the doctor waited for him to finish. After a moment he realized he wasn't going to. "Then what Nick?" he asked. Nick looked out the window as a tear slid down his cheek, "Then he took me and ... raped me. I woke up screaming and nearly scared Diane to death. Why did I dream that?" The doctor stared at him for a moment, "Nick, how long before your wedding?" "Six weeks, four days," he replied. Dr. McKenna laughed, "Got it down to the day huh?" Nick smiled, "Yeah, we got a calendar that we mark the days off with. It's really neat, has all this stuff you're suppose to do and when on it so you don't forget something." "Do you think this dream is just nerves about the wedding?" the doctor asked. Nick shrugged, "I don't know. It was so real." Dr. McKenna tapped his pen on the desk for a moment thinking. He knew the question he wanted to ask, but was somewhat apprehensive about asking. He finally got past it, "Nick, is there a possibility that Tim could show up?" Nick shook his head, "No, none." "What makes you so sure?" he asked. Nick looked up at him, "Because he's dead." Dr. McKenna had to make himself seem placid to that answer, but in actuality he was shocked. He just assumed all this time that Ted was still alive. "Do you know what happened?" he asked. Nick nodded, "He killed himself about a year after he left us. I didn't know about it for a long time after, but Brian kept tabs on him. He wanted to make sure that our paths wouldn't �accidentally' cross. So he paid someone to keep track of what Tim was doing and where he was." "I see, and do you know why he killed himself?" he asked. Nick bit his lip for a moment, then looked away again, "There was a letter. It pretty much said that he couldn't live with what he'd done to me, and that as hard as he tried, he couldn't live without me either. He hated himself for hurting me, but he couldn't let me go. So he offed himself to end the torment." "And how did that make you feel?" Dr. McKenna asked. "At first .... I was happy. I felt like he deserved it for what he put me through," Nick said. "And now?" the doctor asked. Nick sighed, "I don't know. I'm not sad about it, but still .... he killed himself over me. I just kinda put it in the back of my head and forgot about it, cause it was easier that way. Then I didn't have to think about the fact that he had a family that he left behind because of me." "Nick, you can't put any blame on yourself because of what Tim chose to do," he said. "I know that, and I try not to," Nick said, "I just ...it's like some fans, ya know? They like worship you and take things to far. They end up hurting themselves because of their feelings for you. It's scarey .... and no one should have to feel that, ya know? Feel like they caused someone that pain, when they didn't even know that person existed." "Has that happened before?" he asked. Nick nodded, "A few times that I know of. One was obsessed with A.J., the others with me." "So when you found out about it, how did you respond?" Dr. McKenna asked. "It was hard to know what to do. One the one hand we didn't know these girls, but you had to feel sorry for the situation, ya know?" Nick said. The doctor nodded, "So back to the dream. Tell me what you think it means." Nick smiled, "Isn't that what I'm paying you to do?" Dr. McKenna chuckled, "Humor me. Most of the time the person knows better than I do. I just help them along." Nick thought for a few minutes, "Maybe I'm afraid." "Of what?" he asked. "Of making a mess of things. Of what the fans will think, and how they will treat her once we're married. Of failing," he said. "So what can you do to combat that fear?" Dr. McKenna asked. "Give everything I have to make sure it doesn't happen," he answered. "Nick, marriage is a big step in a person's life. And it won't always be a bed of roses," the doctor said. Nick laughed, "I know that. I know we don't live in a perfect world, but if we can get through what we already have and still be together, I know this will be forever." Dr. McKenna smiled, "I usually don't offer my opinion on couples, but I think you're right about that. You both have struggled from the very start of your relationship. You've made it through a lot of things that most couples don't have to. That says something about your relationship and the level of commitment you have for one another." Nick smiled, looking at the clock, "Man, these hours go by quick." "Yes they do," the doctor replied, "See you next week." "OK, thanks," Nick said getting up and heading to the door with Misha on his heels. "Nick, if you keep having the dream, or you need to talk before then .." the doctor started. "I know, I've got your number," Nick said, opening the door and walking over to Diane. She stood up and hugged him, before they left the office. Dr. McKenna walked out into the waiting room, "Martha, you ever see love like that before?" She smiled, "Only once." "Oh yeah?" he asked. She nodded, "You and the Mrs. You had that same look that those two have." He smiled at her, then walked back into his office. Martha watched him go, hoping she hadn't opened up old wounds. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Later that afternoon, Carter and Brian stopped by. Diane had left to have a planning session with Jane, B.J. and Leighanne on the wedding. Nick was happy that his mom was helping her, knowing it meant a lot to Diane too. He knew she would've liked nothing more than for her mom and dad to be a part of this. Sometimes he could see the sadness in her eyes, when she talked about how her mom would've said do this or that. He wanted to make this special for her, so that it wouldn't be so sad. He couldn't imagine getting married without his parents there, and the fact that Diane was broke his heart. "Yo, earth to Nick," Brian said, waving his hand in front of Nick's face. "Huh?" Nick asked, looking at him. "Dude you zoned out on us," Carter said. Nick smiled, "Oh sorry." "Man the wedding is still a ways off, you can't be nervous already," Brian teased. "Actually I am," Nick admitted. "Why?" Carter asked. Nick sighed, "I want it to be special for Di. Her parents passed away a few years ago, and she has no other family. I don't want it to be a sad day for her." "Oh I never thought about that," Brian said. "Yeah, so I need your help again," Nick said. "Oh man, what this time?" Carter teased. Nick looked at them both, "I want to sing to her at the wedding." Brian and Carter exchanged glances. "Nick, are you sure you want to try this?" Carter asked. He nodded, "Yes. I know that I still ... have a lot of work to do, but I've gotta do this." "Alright, have you thought about what song?" Brian asked. Nick shrugged, "I don't know, that's where I need your help." "Well traditionally people with your condition tend to remember old favorites easier," Carter offered. "So what, do Heaven?" Brian asked. Nick shook his head, "I haven't sang that one in years." "What about one with the group, and you just sing your part?" Carter said. Nick shrugged, "Maybe, but which one? It has to mean something to us." "I dunno dude, why don't you think about it, and I'll talk with the guys. We'll come up with something," Brian said. "OK, but your gonna have to come get me so I can practice," Nick said. "No problem," Carter laughed, "We can think up all sorts of excuses to steal you away." "Yeah, just keep that creative mind of yours on me and not my sister," Nick teased. Carter chuckled, "Hey! We are just friends." "Yeah right," Brian laughed, "I've seen you two. That is more than friends." Nick looked at Brian, "What? What'd you see?" "See, now you're getting me in trouble," Carter said, pointing at Brian. Brian grinned, watching Nick give Carter the big brother eye. Carter looked around the room innocently, "Nick, have you tried to sing anything yet?" he asked, desperately wanting to change the subject. "No," he answered. "Well why don't you try something. Just to see what we've gotta work on," he offered. "K," Nick said, trying to think of something simple to sing, "Oh I got it. Mary had a lit-tle lamb, little lamb ....Mary h-had a lit-little lamb ...it's fleece was wh-white as snow," he sang, looking at the two, "That sucked didn't it?" "It was OK," Brian said. "Yeah, pretty good for your first time," Carter agreed. Nick sighed, "No it sucked. What if I can't sing?" Brian shook his head, "You can, and you will. You didn't think you were gonna talk again, and here you are. You'll sing." "But in time for the wedding?" Nick asked. The two looked at each other, "If we have anything to do with it, yes." Chapter 52 |