| Chapter 12 Diane woke to Nick frantically pulling on her hand. She sat up, looking around. The hospital was still quiet, and she knew it had to be early morning. "What is it?" she asked, seeing the utter fear in his eyes. Nick pointed to his tongue, an urgency in his face. "Oh shit," Diane mumbled, quickly running to the bathroom and grabbing the hand towel. By the time she got back to the bed she had tied a few knots in it and quickly stuck it in Nick's mouth. She then flipped the main light in the room on, waking everyone. "Quick give me your pillows," she said, taking Leighanne's and Jackie's from them and placing them between the rails of the bed and Nick. "What's going on?" Jane asked, doing the same on her side and seeing how scared Nick looked. "He's about to have a seizure," Diane answered, looking back down at him, "It's OK, just try and relax." "Mom, can you go get a nurse?" Brian asked. Jackie nodded and left the room just as Nick started convulsing. "Oh God," Leighanne said, watching in horror as Nick thrashed in his bed. "Jane, just make sure he doesn't hit his head," Diane instructed, seeing the older woman was completely lost on what to do. Diane glanced up at the monitor seeing several of the lines go off the chart. Nick was still convulsing when Jackie came back in with the nurse. "I'll page the doctor," the nurse said, "Do you need help?" "No, we got him," Diane answered, "Just get the doctor." The nurse quickly left the room. It seemed like an eternity before Nick stopped, his body relaxing as his breath came in short gasps. "Damn, that one was bad," Brian said. Diane nodded, "It's the worst one he's had," she said, going into the bathroom and getting a wet cloth. She came back and began carefully wiping his face and neck, talking quietly to him. Jane and Leighanne were in tears. Diane looked up, "Guys, I know this is hard to see, but you need to calm down. When he wakes up it won't help him any to see you upset. He needs to know that everything is OK and to stay calm, and if you're crying he won't be able to do that." Both girls nodded, doing their best to calm themselves down. Brian held Leighanne's hand, "I know, I can't stand to see it either," he said. The nurse came back into the room, "The doctor is on his way." "Thank you," Diane said, "Can you send someone in to help clean him up? He's covered in sweat." "Yes, I'll go get someone right now," she said, leaving the room. A few minutes later two nurses came in. They stripped the bed with Nick still in it, gave him a sponge bath, got him dressed and put fresh linens on the bed. "It's amazing how they can make the bed with the person still in it like that," Jane said. "Yeah, it is pretty cool," Brian said. Diane sat next to the bed waiting for Nick to wake up. It took him a long time to come to. "Hey," she said, seeing him open his eyes. He looked at her, a frightened expression on his face and tears welling up in his eyes. "Oh baby, it's alright," she soothed, stroking his cheek with her thumb, "You're OK." Nick slowly shook his head no, staring at her with pleading eyes. Diane stared at him for a moment, then grabbed his notebook from the night stand, handing it to him. Nick slowly wrote his message: Feel bad. "I know you do," she said, "You're seizure was a bad one. Does your whole body hurt?" He nodded. She gently cupped his cheek in her hand, "It'll be alright. Just close your eyes and try and sleep OK?" Nick stared at her for a moment then wrote: Be here? Diane smiled at him, "Yes, I'll be here when you wake up. Now try and rest." Nick handed her the notebook and settled back in bed, soon his eyes where closed in sleep. Jane stared at Diane for a moment, "You are amazing." Diane laughed, "I don't think so." "No really, none of us could've done what you just did," she said, carefully running her hand through her son's hair. "I just freaked when he started ....." she continued. "It's OK," Diane said, "I'm sure seeing your son in that condition is really scarey." Jane nodded, "It was the most scared I've ever been." Diane stared at the older woman, seeing the sincerity on her face. No matter what she'd heard as a fan, she could tell that Jane truly loved her son. It was written all over her face as she stared down at him. "He'll make it through this," Diane said, feeling like she needed to say something. Jane nodded, brushing away her tears. The doctor entered the room followed by the nurse that had called him. "How's he doing?" he asked. "Alright, he's sleeping," Diane said. The doctor checked over the monitors, pulling up the readings from Nick's seizure. "Does he always sleep afterward?" he asked. "Yeah, usually. This one was the worst I've seen," Diane said. The doctor nodded, turning to face the group, "I'm gonna take him while he's still sleeping and get the rest of the tests run." "Can we wake him and let him know what's going on?" Diane asked, "It'll upset him if he wakes up in the middle of a test and doesn't know where he is." The doctor nodded, writing his orders out on Nick's chart. Diane gently shook Nick, "Nick, wake up." He moaned, slowly opening his eyes and looking at her. "The doctor is gonna take you for some more tests," she said. He nodded, fighting to keep his eyes open, grabbing her hand. Diane smiled at him, "I can't go with you, but I'll be right here when they bring you back, alright?" Nick focused on her for a moment then nodded, closing his eyes and falling back to sleep. "How long will the tests take?" Jane asked. "A few hours," the doctor answered, "I should know more by this afternoon." Jane nodded as the doctor left the room. A few minutes later two orderlies came in and placed Nick on a gurny and wheeled him out. After they left the room, Jane broke down in tears, not able to hide her feelings any longer. Jackie sat down next to her, letting her cry on her shoulder. Diane glanced at Brian, seeing the worry in his face. She sighed, getting up, "I um, ..... I need to get some air. I'll be back," she said, quickly leaving the room. "Should I go after her?" Leighanne asked. Brian shook his head, "No, let her be for now. This whole ordeal has been hell, and I'm sure she needs some time alone." Leighanne nodded, but couldn't help the worry she felt. Not only for Nick and Brian, but for this girl that she barely knew. This girl that saved her husband and his best friend, and kept all the guys going for a week. She had done so much to help everyone else, but who was going to help her? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Diane found a secluded bench in the garden of the hospital. She had been sitting there for a long time, crying. She knew it was stupid, crying never helped anything, but she couldn't stop. She was scared. Scared for Nick, scared for Brian, and scared for herself. Everyone was still looking to her for guidance, even Nick's friends and family. It was to much. To much pressure. I'm just a normal person, just a fan. I'm not this know all hero they make me out to be, she thought. I have to get a grip here. I can't let Nick down, I need to be there when they bring him back. But why? Why do I feel this compulsion to help him? Is it because he depends on me, or is it something else? She shook her head, not wanting to think what she was beginning to think. It can't be that. We don't know each other at all. How can I care so much for a person that I don't really know? God help me here, please ...... "Diane?" a voice came from behind her. She quickly wiped her tears with the back of her hand and looked back, seeing Kevin and Howie approaching her. "Hey, you alright?" Howie asked, sitting next to her. "Yeah," she said, still brushing tears away. Kevin sat on the other side of her, staring at her with those emerald green eyes of his, "Tell us what's wrong." Diane shook her head, "It's stupid." "No it's not," Howie said, "Tell us." Diane bit her lip, What the hell, "I'm scared." Kevin wrapped his arm around her shoulders, "Of what?" "Everything," she said, looking up at him, "Brian, Nick, just everything." Howie put his hand on her knee, "We're scared for them too, but something else is bothering you." "Come on little sis, tell your big brothers what's really wrong," Kevin urged. Diane laughed, "Big brother's huh?" "Yup, you got us for life, so spill," Kevin said. Diane smiled, taking comfort from Kevin's words. "I'm just .... I dunno, stressed I guess," she said. "Stressed how?" Howie asked. "Just that everyone thinks I'm some sort of hero and I'm not. And everyone keeps acting like I know everything, and I don't. I mean, I want to stay and help, but I can't take all the looks. I'm a normal person with plenty of faults, and when everyone looks at me, I just can't take the gratitude, ya know? I don't feel like I did anything to deserve it.....it's just to much to handle," she cried. Kevin and Howie glanced at one another, then back to Diane. "Honey, in our eyes you deserve it all and then some," Howie said. "If we had been there without you, we wouldn't have known what to do," Kevin said, "We could've hurt Brian worse or even killed him when we moved him, and the way you handled Nick....... there's no way we could've done that." Diane looked up at him, opening her mouth to protest but Kevin wouldn't let her. "No, to us, you are a hero and always will be. I know we put a lot of pressure on you by looking to you for guidance, especially with Nick, but you are the only one he seems to communicate with," he said. "Yeah, with the exception of Brian, he really hasn't tried to talk to anyone else," Howie said. Diane thought for a moment, realizing they where right. Nick hadn't even tried to communicate with his parents, instead he sought her out in the crowd. She sighed, "I guess you're right, but why me?" Kevin smiled, "Do you really have to ask? He likes you. Even before the plane crashed, he was smitten." "Yeah, we all could see it. Even if you couldn't," Howie said. "Yeah, and after the plane crashed, and you took care of him like you did, he trusts you even more now," Kevin said. "But he doesn't even really know me, none of you do," she said. Kevin smiled down at her, "But we know your heart. We may not know all there is to know about you and your life, but we can see what a caring person you are. How you're willing to stay here for Nick, even when you have friends that would probably love to see you. You're genuine, and that's a hard thing to find in this world." Diane blushed, looking at the ground. "Well, now that we've convinced you that you are a super hero, and Nick has the hots for ya, you feel like coming back?" Howie asked. Diane laughed and nodded. "Are you guys always gonna be this damn sweet?" she asked on their way out of the garden. "Yeah probably so," Kevin said, smiling. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It was late afternoon, and everyone was gathered in the room, waiting for the doctor to make his rounds. Nick had been back for several hours, napping on and off. He had woke up during the tests, and was tired from the constant moving from one test to another. Lunch had been ordered and eaten, everyone trying to pass the time. A.J. had gotten a card game started between himself, Brian, Kevin and Bob. Howie watched, laughing at A.J's. antics. Jackie and Harold sat next to Brian's bed, talking quietly with Leighanne. Jane, Kristin, A.J. and Howie's moms and Howie's brother where involved in another conversation. Diane watched them, amused at how they all got along. Nick tapped her hand, smiling at her when she looked at him. "Hey, you need something?" she asked. He nodded, pointing to the water pitcher on the tray table. Diane poured him a cup and raised his bed a little. She held the cup as he drank. He tried to take it from her, but wasn't able to hold it with either hand. The cast getting in the way of his left hand, and the IV being in his right, along with the weakness he had on that side, made it impossible for him. He finished the cup. "Do you want more?" Diane asked. He shook his head no, focusing in on the TV. The door to their room opened and Nick looked over, seeing the doctor walk in. "Afternoon," he said, "If I could have a moment with Brian and his family..." Brian looked over, "This is my family. Anything you have to tell me you can tell everyone." The doctor stared at him for a moment, "OK then, I've gotten all your tests back, and they look good. The damage isn't permanent." "Thank God," Leighanne said. The doctor smiled, "Yes, you where very lucky. The spinal cord was inflamed, which is why you couldn't feel anything. If you had moved at all, you could have caused permanent paralysis. As it is now, you will be in a brace for a while, until all the swelling goes down, then we will start you on some physical therapy. I'd say within a years time you will be back to 100%." Brian breathed a sigh of relief, looking over to see Nick smiling at him. "What about Nick?" Bob asked. The doctor sighed, "I would like to speak with you in private first." Nick shook his head no. "Nick, it would be better for me to speak to you and your family in private first," the doctor said. Nick shook his head again, taking his notebook and writing: Everyone hear., showing it to the doctor. "I don't think ...." the doctor started, only to be interrupted by Nick forcefully shaking his head and tapping the words he'd written. The doctor paused for a moment, looking down at Nick's chart, then looked back up at the young man, "You're sure?" Nick nodded. The doctor sighed again, trying to prepare for what he was about to say. "Doc, what is it?" Kevin asked, growing concerned over the doctors reactions. The doctor took a moment to go over Nick's chart, then looked up, "Nick has suffered an injury of the frontal lobe of the brain. There is an area in the lower part of the left frontal lobe commonly called the Broca's area. This is where his injury has occurred. It's one of the main language areas because it controls the motor aspects of speech." "So what does that mean exactly?" Jane asked. "It means that Nicks injury is permanent," he answered, "But possibly with time and therapy he may be able to regain some of his speaking abilities." Nick looked up at Diane, fear clouding his eyes along with his tears. "Some? You mean he won't get all of it back?" Brian asked. The doctor shook his head, "It's highly unlikely. Most people never fully recover all their language skills. With speech therapy he may regain some vocabulary, but he won't ever get back to the level he was at before the accident." "But he can understand us," A.J. said, "He can even write for God's sakes." "Yes, he's lucky in that respect. He has a mild form of Broca's Aphasia," the doctor said. "This is mild?" Howie asked. "Yes, some people lose all their ability to understand language," the doctor said. "Are his seizures a result of this injury?" Diane asked. "In part," the doctor said, "The seizures aren't stemming from that area of the brain, but another more anterior location. Also, the tests showed Nick had difficulties in sequencing." "What's that?" Leighanne asked. "It's the order in which you do things, like for instance, making a pot of coffee. You wouldn't put the grounds in before you put the filter in, that sort of thing," the doctor explained. "So what can you do?" Bob asked. "I'm putting him on anti-convulsive medication for his seizures. Also, when he's recovered enough, I want to start him on some physical therapy for the weakness on his right side, and begin speech therapy as soon as possible," the doctor said. "Is there anything we can do to help?" Kevin asked. The doctor looked at them all. Tears abounded and worry consumed each face. "I think you're doing it. He needs a good support group, and I believe he has one of the best," he said, "Does anyone have any more questions? Nick?" Nick looked up, tears streaming down his face and shook his head no. "OK," the doctor said, patting him on the leg, "I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but it is possible to get back to a level you can function at verbally." Nick nodded, squeezing Diane's hand tightly. "Alright, if you need anything, or think of something we haven't covered, just have the nurse page me," the doctor said, "I'll see you in the morning." Everyone watched as the doctor left the room. They where all devastated. Bob and Jane stood next to their son, trying to be brave for him, but he wasn't paying attention to them. The only focus Nick had was Diane. He stared at her through his tears. Diane pulled him to her, holding him as he cried, gently rocking back and forth, trying to calm him, and herself. Nick wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his head in the crook of her neck, letting his sobs fill the room. "I know," she whispered as Nick's cries grew louder, "I know ... shhh. Baby you won't be alone. Everyone here will help you, you don't have to go through this alone." Nick held her tighter, and she knew what he wanted to ask. "I won't leave you," she whispered, "I promise." Chapter 13 |