| Chapter 7 "Lyn?" A.J. whispered. Lyn opened her eyes looking up at him. She had fallen to sleep not long after Brian. "What time is it?" she asked quietly. "Around four," A.J. answered, "You guys have been in here for a long time." Lyn looked down at Brian. He was still in the same position he'd fallen asleep in. "Gideon and Jade were talking about waking Nick up soon," A.J. said, "We thought you guys might want to watch." Lyn nodded her head, "Help me," she said nodding in Brian's direction. A.J. helped her roll him off her so she could get up. "You think we should wake him?" A.J. asked. She shook her head, "No, let him sleep. We'll just tell him what happened when he gets up." Lyn stood up and stretched. She noticed A.J. staring at Brian. "What?" she asked. He shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know. Just that he's never this tired. I guess I'm just concerned. I mean the last time I ever remember him even being remotely this tired was before he had his heart surgery." Lyn stared at A.J. for a second, "Yeah, but they fixed all that right?" "Oh yeah, said he was good as new," A.J. said. "Well, Ted said that if he wasn't better in a few days that he'd look into doing more tests on him," Lyn said, as they walked out of the room. "That's good," A.J. said, "I know he goes every year for his check up, but still. Doesn't hurt to double check." "True," Lyn said as they walked into the living room, just in time to see Gideon, Jade, and Tracy heading into Nick's room. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gideon walked around the bed and placed his hand over Nick's eyes. Nick took a deep breath and opened his eyes. He looked around for a second, then sat up, rubbing his face. "Did you get enough rest?" Tracy asked. Nick nodded, feeling his guilt come back. Jade put her hand on his arm, "Nick, why don't you tell us what happened after you turned?" Nick sighed, "I'm not sure I can. I did so much I regret." "We will help you through it," Tracy said. "We need to know what happened," Gideon said. Nick looked down at his hands, "Alright, I'll try." They sat in silence for several minutes while Nick struggled with how he wanted to tell them. The three waited patiently, knowing that this was difficult for Nick. "Um, well....as soon as I turned, I went nuts," Nick started. "Nuts?" Gideon asked. Nick nodded, "I wanted the four of them to hurt just as bad as I'd been hurting. I started with Jered first. Somehow I held the other three against the wall, while I put him in the rack and beat the hell out of him. I did it to all of them except Evi...." "What did you do to her?" Jade asked. Nick sighed heavily and bit his bottom lip for a moment, "I raped her. I wanted her to feel what she'd done to me. I wanted her to feel helpless and dirty, just like I did. But I didn't stop there, I beat her while I was doing it, and I um I did it more than once." "Go on," Tracy prompted. "When I was done I let them sit with their injuries for a while, the whole time I screamed at them. Told them that I was calling all the shots from then on. They couldn't stop me because I was stronger than they were. When I finally got tired of yelling, I healed them," Nick said. "Why did you do that?" Gideon asked. Nick shrugged his shoulders, "I guess I figured that they would be of some use to me. That's when they told me about the deal they had with each other." "What deal?" Jade asked. "Jered and Ephah made a deal with the girls. The girls would help them get me, and after I turned, they would use me to help them get Tara," Nick answered. "But, why would they want Tara?" Tracy asked. "They need a third siren. And since she was like me, they thought it was even better. Her abilities would make what they taught her that much stronger," Nick said. "So what happened next?" Tracy asked. "We worked out the plan to take her the following day. I told them to leave her to me, and they did. They knew that I could trick her into thinking that I was still on her side. The plan was for Jered and Ephah to show up and knock her out. That way when she came to, she'd still think that I was on her side, and I could slowly wear her down until she was to weak to fight what Jered and Ephah were doing to her. But, it didn't work out that way. Jered got to carried away and was about to kill her. I had to stop him, and she found out quicker than we had planned," Nick said, tears coming to his eyes. "Everything she went through was my fault. I let her get beaten and raped. I knew what it would do to her, and I still let him do it! How could I do that? I love her so much, how could I let someone do that to her?! I'll never forgive myself for that, never!" he cried. "Nick, you have to remember that when you turned you lost your sense of self. You acted purely on your emotions, it was the only thing you could do then," Gideon said. Nick shook his head, "No. I knew what I was doing, I just didn't care. I wanted to achieve the goal with her so much, that I didn't care how much she got hurt in the process." "Nick, what happened after you took her?" Jade asked. Nick wiped his face and looked down at the bed. "I told Jered to come kill Brian," he said quietly. "Why?" Tracy asked. "Because with him out of the way, she wouldn't fight as much," he said, "But after we told her he was dead she flipped." "What do you mean flipped?" Jade asked. "She went catatonic on us. She retreated into her own little world for a while, nothing we did got through to her. That's when I.....I...." Nick hesitated, breaking down in tears, "I beat her. I was so angry that she wasn't responding to us, so I put her on the rack, and I whipped her. Then I used this cattle prod on her. I probably would have killed her if it wasn't for Ephah coming in and making me stop. He stood up to me and put me in my place," he said. "Put you in your place? I thought you were stronger than he was?" Gideon asked. "I am, but he was determined not to let me continue. We fought for a moment, but in the end I saw that what I'd been doing wasn't helping our cause any. He sat me down and told me that I was an idiot and that I didn't know everything yet. That's when I started listening to them. They told me to be kind to her, heal her, and take care of her. Then when she trusted me again, I could move in with what I wanted," Nick said. "I see," Gideon said. "So is that what you did?" Tracy asked. Nick nodded, "Yeah. It took her a while, but she eventually snapped out of it. After that, I treated her well, but I also pressed what I wanted. Her demeanor changed. She became more obedient, like she'd finally given up fighting. The day you guys found us, I thought she had finally given in, but I know now that she did it so you could take me. I can't believe she put herself through that for me," he cried. Tracy put her arm around Nick's shoulders and pulled him to her, "Honey, she loves you. She would go to the ends of the earth to get you back, you know that. And you would do the same for her." He nodded, "I would. I just don't see how she'll ever forgive me for what I did to her." "First you must forgive yourself," Jade said. "I can't. I'm responsible for all of it, I can't just act like it didn't happen," Nick said. "We aren't asking you to," Gideon said, "But before you can heal and move on, you have to let it go. It's the hardest thing to do, I know, but it must be done." Nick looked at him, knowing what he said was right, but not having a clue as to how to do it. "We'll let you rest for a while," Jade said, standing up. "I'll have one of the guards bring you something to eat, then I want you to rest, alright?" Gideon said. Nick nodded, continually wiping tears from his face. "Um, sometime soon can I talk to Tara? I have to tell her I'm sorry," Nick said. The three smiled at him, "Soon," Jade said. Nick smiled, "Thanks." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brian was laying in bed, wiping his tears. He'd woken up not long after Lyn left. He didn't feel like getting up, but he could hear the sound from the monitors. He heard every word Nick said. He was so angry at him for doing that to Tara, but he also knew that Nick was even more angry at himself. Brian kept telling himself that Nick wasn't exactly Nick when he did those things, and that Tara had already said she forgave him for it. If she could forgive him, then certainly he could. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his pounding heart. He didn't think he was that upset, but who knew anymore? It seemed like the slightest thing set his body into overdrive lately. Brian sat up, holding his chest and taking slow deep breaths. Finally after a few moments, he started to calm down. No longer did it feel as if his heart was trying to pound its way out of his chest. He rubbed his face, then got up, heading into the bathroom. Once he was in there, he stared at himself in the mirror. He could see the tired expression staring back at him. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his face held no life to it. His eyes were dull, and every movement was a concentrated effort. He had no energy, and all he wanted to do was go back to bed and sleep for days. Brian turned on the water and splashed some in his face, trying to wake himself up. He racked his brain, trying to figure out why on earth he was feeling like he was. He leaned against the wall, looking up towards the ceiling, "God, what's going on with me? I haven't felt like this since..... Oh no. Not now God please...not now." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Kev, calm down," Howie said. Kevin glared at him. Lyn and A.J. sat on the couch, watching as the older man blew a fuse. "Hey man, we're all pissed at what he did, but he wasn't himself when he did it," A.J. said. "I know that Bone," Kevin said, "I just can't believe that even when he was on their side, that he would do that to her." "Neither can the rest of us, but we can't be angry like this," Lyn said. All three guys looked at her. "I mean it. Sometime soon, we are gonna have to face him. We can't do that, feeling what we do now. He'll never forgive himself for this, and we won't be helping if he feels our anger towards him," she said. Kevin stared at her for a moment, "Lyn, I'm sorry. I know this has to be awful for you. Frankly I don't see how you're getting through it." She smiled at him, "I have you guys to help me, and Brian. Your support is the only thing getting me through this. And Brian to. He doesn't admit it to you guys, but he's relying on your support just as much as I am." "She's right," Brian said, walking into the room. Everyone looked over, watching as Brian came in and sat down next to Lyn on the couch. Lyn took his hand in hers and looked at him, "You feeling any better?" "Yeah a little," he said. "Bri, they talked to Nick," Kevin started. "I know. I could hear it in there," he said, "And Lyn's right. We can't hold this against Nick. He wasn't himself when he did it, and we need to support him just as much as we do Tara right now." Kevin shook his head, "I know what you're saying is right. But that doesn't help the fact, that I just wanna punch him right now." Everyone laughed. "Kev, don't you think I feel that way to?" Brian asked. He nodded, "I don't see how you're sitting there being this calm right now." "Because I know that going over there and punching him would only cause problems for us. Sure I might feel better for a second, but it wouldn't solve anything. It's already done. We can't go back and change it now, so all we can do is move on from here. Nick is back, and you see how hard this is on him. We all know that he would never have done any of this if it wasn't for them getting to him. He's mortified by it, and all we can do is help him get through it," Brian said. Everyone silently nodded, looking towards Kevin. He sighed, "You're right. He's just as much a victim in this as Tara is." "I'm glad you see it that way," Tracy said, appearing in the room. Everyone jumped. "I know, you wished I'd stop doing that," she said laughing. They all nodded, dawning smiles of their own. "I just came over to see how you all are holding up," she said, "We've been concentrating so much on the two of them, that we forget that you guys are hurting and trying to work through this too." "We're hanging in there," Howie said. "Yeah, this is the damn hardest thing I think I've had to watch," A.J. said. Tracy smiled at him, "It always is. It's hard to watch the people you love go through rough times." "Yeah it is," Kevin said. Tracy looked at Brian and Lyn, "How are you two doing?" They looked at one another and smiled. "OK," Brian said. "Yeah, we have each other to lean on, so we're making it," Lyn added. Tracy shot them a knowing look that only they caught, then turned back to the others, "Let us know if you need us." "We will," they all called. She nodded, glancing at Brian and Lyn once more before vanishing. Brian looked at Lyn, "Is there anything to eat?" She smiled at him, "Yeah, come on, I'll fix you something." Together they got up and went into the kitchen. Waiting until the guys were engrossed in the monitors before quietly speaking to one another. "What was that look for?" Brian asked. "She knows," Lyn said, pulling the items out of the frig to make him a sandwich. "How does she know?" he asked. "She was here that first night," she said, "She talked to me about it that morning." Brian put his head in his hands, "Oh God, she saw everything?" "No, she left before we got that far, but she knows how we feel about each other," she answered. "What'd she say?" he asked. Lyn shrugged her shoulders, "Just that she wanted us to be sure about it. She didn't want us to ruin what we had if we weren't sure this is what we wanted." Brian took her hand in his, staring into her eyes, "Your sister loves you a lot." Lyn smiled, "Yeah, she's kinda fond of you to." "Lyn, I want you to know that I'm sure about this. I've fought with these feelings for so long now, that I'm glad I can finally share them with you. I know that we're gonna hurt them, but I'm positive that in the end, this is where we were meant to be," he said. "I feel the same way," she said, handing him his sandwich, "I never wanted to admit it to myself, but I've always felt something for you beyond our friendship. As much as Nick and I connected, you and I have something more than that. I can't explain it, I just feel it." Brian smiled, setting his sandwich on the counter and moving her out of direct sight of the other guys. "Bri, if we get caught..." she whispered. "Then we get caught. I don't intend on hiding this forever," he said. "I know, but we need to talk with Nick and Tara before we tell the others," she said. He nodded, "I know. Next time Tracy is over here, we need to talk with her about it. See when we can." "Yeah," Lyn said, a sense of dread creeping into her stomach. Brian gently touched her cheek, "Hey, we're doing it together. You won't have to face him alone." "I know, I'm still dreading it though. I don't want to hurt him, but I know that we have to, to be together," she said. "And I don't want to hurt Tara either, but the sooner we do this, the better it's gonna be," Brian said. Lyn nodded, "I know." They both stared into each others eyes for what seemed like an eternity. Brian took a step closer to her, leaning in and softly kissed her lips. He lingered there for a moment before pulling away, taking her hand in his and walking back over to retrieve his sandwich, before leading them back into the living room. Chapter 8 |